My Nihilism Got Me Laid?!

I need a vacation from my vacation.

(っ,-) While I'm at it, I would also like to file for sleep bankruptcy.

Opening the door to the penthouse, I am given a warm welcome, one that someone like me probably doesn't deserve.

Boketto lunges at me, giving me a hug. "Graves!" She is wearing her baggy shirt and those short shorts that fail to hide her ass.

Cafune scratches her head, still wearing no pants as she greets me. "Gravy! Did you bring souvenirs from your trip to mars!? Please tell me its an alien! I was already thinking about names, Alan, Alain, Allen, Allyn, or maybe Allan."

When did I go to Mars?

"Hello, you both. I missed you." Did I really?

Boketto continues to squeeze my hand. "No way, I missed you more!"

"I'm glad to hear that, and I'm just as glad my apartment wasn't blown up in my brief absence."

Boketto crosses her arms. ( -᷅ ⤙ -᷄ ) "You need to have a little more faith in us."

"I do; I have as much faith in you two as I have playing Russian Roulette with 6 bullets."

"Gravy, we need a new toaster."

With a sigh I turn to Cafune. "What's wrong with the old one? This place was literally just furnished."

"Well, it started sparking, so I tried to scoop out the sparks with a fork."

"Uh... are you sure you're alive?"

Her eyes widen. "I'm dead?! nN! I'm too young to die!"

"Ehhh...Are you really? If you were a 17th century peasant, you'd already mingling with the reaper."

"Oh, also, we need a new microwave."

"Alright."

"And a new oven."

My eyes narrow.

"And a new fridge."

"The hell did you do?!"

"Well...the apples looked like they were sad and getting chilly so I put the microwave in there and heated them up. Then I went to go watch TV and forgot to turn it off."

Oh my god.

"And a new television."

"Alirght!"

"Also a ne-"

"Cafune!" Boketto covers her mouth. (⸝ó﹏ò⸝⸝⸝｡) "We're sorry Graves, we'll pay it back!"

You and what paycheck? <(ꐦㅍ _ㅍ)> "Oh don't you worry, I'll be getting my money back, with interest."

With a deep exhale, I shift my expression to a warm smile. "Regardless, I'm just glad you are both safe..." I'm not entirely sure how Cafune is alive though.

Boketto's eyes widen with that cute smile, "Graves!" She lunges at me with a hug.

"Gravy, I'm hungry, there's no more food in the fridge."

(ꐦ¬_¬) "I wonder how that happened."

(• ε •) "Well, it might be because I wanted to see if the fruits could survive a 78 story drop."

"Is that so? I am dying to know the results." ( ⩌_⩌)

Cafune looks at me with pity as she shakes her head; like a police officer telling a kid his parents died in a car crash. "I think you should take a seat before you hear this. I have to tell you something difficult."

I'm starting to get used to this; maybe I should open a daycare for 30-year-old women. I guess that's kinda what this 78th floor already is.

"Alright, since it's the weekend, is there anything you guys want to do?"

Boketto bashfully plays with her hands, before looking up at me with that adorable expression. "you're always looking out for us graves... why don't we do what you want to d-"

Cafune pushes Boketto out of the way. "MOVIE NIGHT!! I want to go to the supermarket and we buy a ton of junk food! Then tonight we are going to binge watch Evil Gevil Galapagos Gorilla's©."

*****

"Clean up aisle 4."

Wincing, I hastily push our cart out of aisle 4. Cafune is sitting in the cart as though a pirate ship, pointing forward and plundering whatever she thinks has the most amount of sugar.

"High ho, silver, for we shall pillage these foreign carts!"

"You don't even have your persona straight."

Boketto holds our uncertain shopping list, checking off various items. "Graves, do you like chocolate chips or bananas in your pancakes? "

With a smirk, I lean towards her. "I like whatever is in your pancakes."

Playfully punching me in the arm, she smiles. "Dont say naughty stuff like that in public Graves." She bashfully looks away. "But...do you really mean that?"

I don't even know what I was going for there, but it seemed to have worked. "uh... yes?" Yet she does remind me of those souffle pancakes.

I accidentally bump into another cart with a kid sitting in it.

Cafune begins throwing various objects from our cart at him. "Invaders on the starbird side! Fire the left side cannons! Graves, evasive manures!"

I've given up on trying to control her. "That's the port side Cafune."

The kid tries to throw stuff back at Cafune only for her to hit him with a can of beans.

Wincing, I quickly wheel the cart away just as the kid begins crying. "Cafune, maybe don't throw metal cans at people."

"Dont tell me what to do, you Scally Wag; do you know who I am?! I am Cafune pink beard!"

She is shaved both on the port and below deck, so I'm not entirely sure where this so-called beard is.

"I sailed the seven seas alongside King Arthur himself. We spent eons plundering Paradis Island!"

(¬_¬) "Is that so?"

"Cafune, I don't think King Arthur was a pirate."

"Silence bootlicker! Go and clean the poop deck!"

"I don't think I really want to; Graves, do I have to?"

"I don't even know why you're interacting with her."

Cafune lets out a gasp as, leaning the cart to the right, nearly tipping it over. "Head south peg leg Graves."

"Aye, aye." (¬_¬マ

Wheeling down the aisle of sweets, I can feel my wallet begin to weep.

"We've done it! We've arrived at the sugary isle!" Cafune exclaims.

For an idiot, "That was a clever homophone."

"Thank you, I called it myself."

(˵ ¬ᴗ¬˵) "I see what you did there."

I place the cart perfectly in the middle of the aisle.

"Graves, move me closer to the shelves!"

"No, you're just going to empty the whole shelf into our cart, you're each allowed to get three things.

"Three?! That's it!?"

"The moment you can pay rent and still have money left over, you're free to buy whatever you want."

This is the same tactic my mom used on me when I was a kid... except I'm using it on a 35-year-old MILF.

Boketto tugs on my sleeve. "Well... if I get three things, I want to spend them on you? So, I will make anything; Just tell me!" She gives me those puppy dog eyes with that adorable desperate need of approval..

Giving her a warm, close eyed smile, I lean in. "Whatever would make you most happy, would make me happy."

She lets out a gasp of excitement. "Really? You're the best Graves!" She gives me her squishy hug before trotting down a nearby aisle.

I'm sorry Boketto, but your cooking sucks. I mainly said that so I couldn't be guilt tripped into eating it.

After another hour of harassing customers and throwing tantrums, we finish off our checklist.

"Alright, if everyone is happy, let's go check out."

"Set sail poop scrubbers! To Davy Jones Locker!"

*******

I had another four hours till our so called "Slumber party" so I thought I would spend it doing something productive.

"Ho- fuck! Yes, righ- there Graves."

I promised Moxie I would help her... exercise if she looked after Cafune and Boketto while I was gone...

"OoooohHH FUU- shit, shit, I'm coming!"

She lunges at me, wrapping her arms around me as her body spasm. I can feel her climax as she sprays my cock.

Gasping for air, she leans back up, her heavy breasts pull against the fabric of her sports bra. Pulling out my dribbling dick, her pussy bubbles over with my cum.

she runs her hands through her soaked hair in an attempt to move it away from her eyes as she rubs her pussy against my dick.

(¬_¬) "I wanted to say thank you for watching over my place while I was gone."

Crossing her arms, she looks away with a pout. (｡- ⤙ -｡ꐦ) "I know you're being sarcastic." Her body spasms as her core tightens, the aftermath of her orgasm lingering. "-I would say I'm sorry, but I dont know how you communicate with that woman. I've had deeper conversations with a dumbbell." Her expression is less guilt and more utter disbelief of the enigma named Cafune.

"Yeah, perhaps I was asking a lot of you."

Leaning down, she goes in for a saliva filled kiss, swirling her tongue around, her words become gargled. "Okay, I'm tired, you go on top."

Running my hands through her hair soft navy blue hair, I shift our position to have her lying on her back.

Our ragged breath match one another, the sweat from our bodies combines as our bodies desperately cling to one another.

Now face to face, she wraps her arms around the back of my neck.

Slowly sliding my dick in, she lets out a suppressed moan.

"Oh, fuck, Graves, you're good at this."

I grunt, still not being able to move on. "You could have at least called and let me know you needed help." I could have sent Sonnet.

"And that other girl, Boketto, she is comically clumsy. But it stopped being funny after she sawed your night stand in half and began crying because she knew you would get mad."

Gritting my teeth, I furrow my brow, gripping into her squishy thighs, I clench. "That was her?!" My thrusts become sporadic.

"Hey! Slow down Graves."

"Then she goes and chops off my fucking arm! I swear, next time I'm gonna..."

"You dumbass! Stop taking out your anger on me- Oohh! Fuc- Fuck FUUUCK!!"