My Favorite Isekai Adventure (Konosuba)

"A-QU-A! Seiza—!"

With Kobayashi's furious shout, the joint trial officially began.

Kobayashi sat in the main seat, with Darkness on his left and Megumin on his right. The super-expensive, high-grade sparkling liquor was placed in the center of the table, and Aqua was kneeling in seiza at the bottom, awaiting interrogation.

Seeing her clueless and aggrieved expression at being suddenly blamed, Kobayashi felt not a single shred of sympathy. If it weren't for her stealing the noble's sparkling liquor, Kazuma would not have been implicated and thrown in jail.

Kobayashi was the first to question her. "Speak. Why did you steal the sparkling liquor?"

"I didn't! I didn't, I didn't! I didn't steal it! I absolutely did not steal it!" Hearing herself being slandered, Aqua anxiously shook her head, trying to seek justice for herself.

Kobayashi subconsciously didn't believe her.

After all, she had a prior record. In the past, she had even used his name to run up a tab at the Guild just to drink. It wasn't impossible for that to have escalated to stealing.

Even though she was a goddess, he believed this idiot goddess was capable of such a thing.

"You...!"

"Wait, Kobayashi."

Darkness held out a hand to stop him. "Now is not the time to question Aqua. The most urgent task is to get Kazuma out of jail, isn't it?"

"...You're right."

Kobayashi rubbed his temples.

In reality, he wasn't afraid of the noble. Even if the noble tried to apply pressure, he could just have Darkness step in and settle it. But on the one hand, Darkness didn't want to expose her identity. On the other hand, getting too involved with nobles would attract attention and constrain them. It would be impossible to live a free and easy life after that.

Due to various factors, he hated dealing with nobles and had always tried his best to avoid such situations.

"What, what? What's wrong with that idiot Kazuma?"

Aqua, still in the dark, quickly asked when she heard something had happened to him.

Kobayashi said in exasperation, "Because of this bottle of high-grade sparkling liquor that went missing, Kazuma-kun was thrown in jail by the guards!"

"Pfft pfft— That idiot Kazuma! To actually get thrown in jail over something like this, that's too funny."

After hearing the explanation, not only did Aqua feel no remorse, she instead covered her mouth and laughed heartily at him.

"Do you even understand whose fault this is?" Kobayashi shot her a glare.

He really couldn't understand her brain circuit. Even if she wanted to see Kazuma get taken down a peg, she didn't have to go this far.

Aqua puffed out her chest and said proudly, "I must state one thing clearly. I did not steal this bottle of high-grade sparkling liquor. It was my payment for a mission! Didn't I say I had received a designated quest?"

"...Hmm? What in the world is this about? Hurry up and tell us what happened," he demanded.

"Actually..."

Yesterday, Aqua had received a quest. She had said the details were confidential, but in reality, the quest was from the Guard Captain, who had asked her to set off a fire magic spell at the town's training ground. He said it was to create a small disturbance to put the guards on edge.

During the Dullahan's attack, the town guards' performance had been very poor. So the Guard Captain wanted to tell them that, just because Axel was a remote beginner town, it didn't mean strong enemies wouldn't attack. If they continued to be so lax, it would be unacceptable.

Therefore, he had asked Aqua for help.

"And the payment wasn't money, but sparkling liquor? Aqua, don't tell me you were scammed. Even if I don't know what the quest was, getting paid in sparkling liquor is weird no matter how you look at it."

Megumin looked at her with concern, as if she were worried about her intelligence.

Kobayashi really wanted to tell her that there was no need to worry, because her intelligence was already pitifully low.

Wait a minute, something doesn't feel right.

"Hey, Aqua, you said you set off a fire magic spell at the training ground. Don't tell me it was..."

"It was! It was Planetary Fire!"

"So it was you?!"

Planetary Fire. That was the intermediate fire spell. When it was used, the magic light would rise into the sky like a firework and then explode.

In other words!

"You're the one who was provoking Megumin?!"

It was all because of her magic that Megumin had gotten a competitive streak! And then, in order not to disturb Kazuma, he had accompanied her to cast her own explosion! And then, to appease her, he had spouted that perverted rant! Which was why he had been heard by the guards and arrested on the spot!

Besides, you're a Goddess of Water! Why are you casting fire magic?! That's too weird!

This was all Aqua's fault!

"Eh?... Ehh—?!!!"

Aqua let out an uncomprehending cry.

She had no intention of provoking Megumin. She had just been ordinarily completing a quest and casting an intermediate magic spell. Why had it been twisted into a provocation?

"Damn it, you idiot goddess!"

Kobayashi clutched his head, extremely vexed.

He was wrong. He was so wrong. From the very beginning, he should never have let Aqua go and complete a mission on her own.

If he had gone with her, she wouldn't have taken the sparkling liquor, Megumin wouldn't have wanted to cast her spell, he wouldn't have been arrested, and Kazuma would never have been implicated and thrown in jail.

The idiot goddess, unlike Kazuma, was simply incapable of completing a mission smoothly. She caused trouble every single time, and in the end, they were the ones who had to wipe her ass.

"Sob... sob sob..."

Aqua burst into tears and threw herself into his arms. She clearly hadn't done anything wrong, but she was still being yelled at. It was too strange.

By the way, what's with this move of crying in the arms of the person who just made you cry?

But he couldn't not comfort her. When the goddess opens the floodgates, no one can withstand it.

"Kobayashi, you shouldn't blame her too much. We should be thinking about what to do now," Darkness stepped in again to move the topic forward, simultaneously restraining the wailing Aqua.

The solution to the problem was simple: just return the sparkling liquor.

According to Aqua, this bottle was her payment from the Guard Captain. So it was clear at a glance that the other party had made a mistake and had accidentally given her the valuable bottle as payment.

Therefore, as long as they explained it, it would be fine.

But...

"This bottle has already been opened. It's even more than half gone." Kobayashi clutched his forehead in pain.

When he was in jail, he had asked around. That noble valued this bottle of high-grade sparkling liquor very much, otherwise he wouldn't have issued a wanted poster to track down the culprit and hold them responsible.

Therefore, under these circumstances, it was highly likely the Guard Captain would deny it was his fault to protect himself.

"Aqua, you didn't get the quest notarized at the Guild, did you?"

"...No."

"I thought so!"

Aqua's embarrassed expression made his heart sink.

Not getting it notarized at the Guild meant there was no proof. The other party could completely deny it was his fault to save his own skin. So they absolutely could not go and explain the situation.

At this point, there was only one way.

"Do we have to buy another bottle?" he muttered.

The solution was simple. Since this bottle had been drunk, they would just buy another one to compensate him. At the same time, they would explain the situation. When the noble received the wine and knew it was his own man's mistake, he certainly wouldn't blame them too much.

After all, the nature of the situation was completely different.

The problem was...

He looked at the party's hidden noble, who knew all about these things, and asked apprehensively, "Darkness, how much does this bottle of sparkling liquor cost?"

"Probably a few hundred thousand Eris."

"It's a few hundred thousand Eris?!... Eh? It's only a few hundred thousand Eris?!"

He was shocked twice in a row.

He had been preparing for a major financial hemorrhage, but he hadn't expected this bottle, which was so valued that a wanted poster had been issued for it, to only be worth a few hundred thousand.

He instantly relaxed.

"Are you kidding me! If other nobles see this, they'll think I can't afford it! Another round! A bottle for everyone!"

Kobayashi was extremely arrogant.

There was no helping it. When you have money, you can be this willful.

A few hundred thousand Eris... 100 bottles would only be a few tens of millions. With over 200 million in savings, he wasn't scared at all.

"That's not the issue."

Darkness, on the contrary, looked very grim. She pointed to the logo on the bottle. "There are as many 'high-grade' sparkling liquors as there are stars, but each one is different. If this logo is real, then this bottle is a fantasy among fantasies. It's a masterpiece that you can't necessarily buy even with money."

"Eh?"

"That noble must have gone through a lot of trouble to buy it. No wonder he was angry enough to issue a wanted poster. If that's the reason, then it all makes sense."

"Ehh?!!"

Don't tell me it's a small-probability item that you can't buy even if you have the money?!

According to Darkness, the price of this bottle was indeed only a few hundred thousand Eris, but the moment it appeared, it would be snatched up by the major nobles. Its price had already been driven up to several tens of millions Eris, and it was still a case of "price but no market."

"Damn it! This is completely beyond my expectations!"

Kobayashi clutched his forehead in pain.

Was Kazuma going to be unjustly killed just because of Aqua's mistake?!

...Wait a minute, why am I so nervous?

Even if Kazuma is killed, with Aqua around, he can be resurrected. There's nothing to be nervous about, right?

No, no, no, I can't think like that!

He shook his head, throwing the dangerous thought from his mind. If he started treating his junior as a disposable tool for gaining benefits, then his own moral bottom line would be broken, and he would surely do even more insane things in the future.

So, how could they save Kazuma?

High-grade sparkling liquor, high-grade sparkling liquor, high-grade sparkling liquor...

Hmm?

He raised an eyebrow and asked, "Darkness, you said this bottle is very hard to come by, right? The kind you can't buy even with money."

"...That's right." She nodded.

"In that case—"

Since it was a masterpiece that was very hard to get, under normal circumstances, no one would think of drinking it, right? They would surely treasure it or put it on display as a status symbol.

If that was the case, then there was room to operate!

He asked, "Aqua, are you confident you can reseal the bottle and restore it to its unopened state?"

"Of course! Who do you think I am?!" she said, puffing her chest out arrogantly.

"The Goddess of Useless Chores. What's it to you?"

"Ngh...!"

Ignoring the idiot goddess's expression, which looked like she was about to cry, he had more important things to do.

Megumin asked, a little strangely, "What are you planning to do, Kobayashi?"

"Obviously, I'm going to fill it with water."

His expression was a little sinister.

Question: Knowing that the noble won't easily open this bottle, and that its value is higher as a collector's item, what should one do to avoid punishment?

—Naturally, you fill it with water and pretend it's a new, unopened bottle!

Just like a certain kind of pure X, it looks new on the outside, but the inside has long since been filled with other things.

"Well then, let's get to it!"

He called everyone over to help. But in reality, they just stood by and watched Aqua do it.

It had to be said, her skills were extraordinary.

He hadn't even blinked, so how had the bottle suddenly been restored to its original, unopened state?

It was too magical!

"Aqua, from now on, the title of 'Goddess of Forgery' is yours."

"Thank you for the compliment."

"Hehehe—" x2

The two Axis Order members laughed darkly. They seemed to have discovered a new world. In the future, if they were short on money, this skill might come in handy.

Oh my, this kind of thinking is no good.

I'm a positive, sunny young man.

But Megumin suddenly showed a worried expression. "Kobayashi, this bottle will be drunk one day. If we're discovered, they'll definitely think of us, and in the end, the blame will still be pinned on our heads."

"I've thought about that situation too."

A fake is a fake. When it's discovered, they'll be the ones who are out of luck.

"But as long as we replace it with a real one before it's discovered, it'll be fine, right?"

He smiled very cunningly.

This trouble had come too suddenly, and they were completely unprepared. Next time, if they prepared thoroughly, they definitely wouldn't be in such a mess.

...No, there won't be a next time!

Seeing that his companion was still worried, he comforted her. "Rest assured, I'll have Wiz buy this kind of high-grade sparkling liquor as soon as possible, even if it means paying a premium."

The longer this kind of thing dragged on, the more problems it would cause. So he would take it very seriously, get the wine as soon as possible, and then secretly put the real bottle back, pulling off a "stealing the beams and replacing the pillars" trick.

Then the noble wouldn't know, and they wouldn't be blamed. Both sides could pretend nothing had happened.

Perfect!

Just as he was thinking this, he saw Kazuma return to the mansion with a portly, ugly noble and a burly, powerful knight.

As for how he could tell their identities?

It had to be from the gaudy, nouveau-riche-style dress, and the armor and sword at the other's waist.

"Wh-what do we do, Kobayashi! They're here!"

"Don't panic! This is the perfect opportunity to return the wine and clear Kazuma-kun's name."

He told the party members not to be nervous. It wouldn't be good if they gave themselves away by being too tense.

Then, he put on his trademark fake smile and prepared to receive the arriving noble.

He had thought the other party would immediately make trouble, but he hadn't expected...

"—I'm sorry! It was all my carelessness that caused a member of your esteemed party to be thrown in jail!"

The Guard Captain bowed to them and apologized, his attitude extremely sincere.

This stunned him for a moment. He had thought the man would disavow any connection to protect himself. He hadn't expected him to openly admit his mistake.

On the contrary, he was the one who had been petty.

"No, no, no, it's not entirely your fault. It was also my Archpriest's fault for not speaking up. I, too, apologize on her behalf."

He also quickly bowed in return.

The other party's attitude was very good; he naturally couldn't be rude. He politely took the blame on his own side. At the same time, he took out the bottle of sparkling liquor.

He said, "Perfect timing. Please take this bottle back. Let's just consider this a small misunderstanding on both sides."

"No, no, no, there's no need for that."

The portly, ugly noble quickly waved his hand. At the same time, he dotingly patted the Guard Captain's arm. "The mistake my captain made should naturally be paid for by me. It's just a bottle of sparkling liquor... Although I care about it a lot, for the sake of his reputation, I can only give it up with a heavy heart. I originally got it just to enjoy with him anyway."

That doting look made one very uncomfortable. Kobayashi couldn't help but squirm and subconsciously take a small step back.

The portly, ugly noble added, "I came here just to convey this. I have already canceled the wanted poster, and as an apology, I have also compensated this little brother. It can't be helped. For my captain's sake, I hope you won't blame him too much."

"Not at all. It's great that the misunderstanding has been cleared up," he said with a polite yet awkward smile.

"In that case, we'll be going."

With that, the portly, ugly noble took the Guard Captain's hand, and the two left together. The way they leaned on each other looked very intimate.

Although I think it's impossible, but...

"Kazuma, I want to ask you something."

He turned to look at Kazuma, who was still waving goodbye, and asked, "That 'alluring, yet pure' outfit of yours... was it designed for women?"

"That's right. It's just that the size was a little too big. From the build, it was about the same as the Guard Captain's. What's wrong, Kobayashi-senpai?" Kazuma still hadn't seemed to notice anything.

"It's nothing. You don't need to know."

Kobayashi thoughtfully decided not to make him think about such confusing things. At the same time, he quickly rushed into Aqua's embrace.

"Aqua, purify me, quickly!"

(End of Chapter)