My Favorite Isekai Adventure (Konosuba)

Kobayashi admitted that his mind was a little dark, his personality a little twisted, and his methods a little roundabout. But at the very least, he was a relatively positive person, and could just barely be considered a cheerful, sunny young man.

But he had never expected that he would end up in jail.

What he'd expected even less was that the reason for him being there was so absurd. And what he'd expected least of all was that the moment he was arrested, he would see the other pervert from his party.

That's right. Satou Kazuma had been arrested even before he was.

The two of them stared at each other awkwardly.

"Kobayashi-senpai..."

Satou Kazuma covered his face with his hands, his despair undisguised.

He had been hoping that the other man could save him. That's what he had thought when he saw him walk in. But when he subsequently learned that he, too, was a prisoner, the joyful smile on his face instantly froze.

"What in the world is going on? Why are you here too, Kobayashi-senpai?"

He was on the verge of a breakdown. After all, his senior had a great reputation in Axel. No matter how you thought about it, he shouldn't be in a place like this.

"You could just say it's bad luck."

In order to appease a certain loli, he had accidentally let a remark slip out, which had been heard by the guards, leading to his on-the-spot arrest.

After he told him this, Kazuma immediately understood.

This is all Megumin's fault!

He said viciously, "That idiot loli! When we get out, I'm going to teach her a good lesson!"

"You're right. That's what I was thinking, too."

He had the exact same intention.

But what was strange was, why had Kazuma been arrested? Don't tell me he had run out into the street and started making moves on the passing female adventurers?

"Of course not!"

That suspicious look from him really hurt. Kazuma hurriedly and loudly defended himself.

"Then why were you arrested?"

"Actually..."

Kazuma had said before that he wanted to earn his own spending money. At the very least, he wanted to pay for the succubus shop himself. Otherwise, if this continued, he was really afraid that one day he wouldn't be able to control himself and would end up sticking his butt up for Kobayashi.

So he had asked Luna to pick out a quest for him that wasn't too much trouble, paid a relatively high reward, and was suitable for him.

At first, he was just trying his luck, and it wouldn't have mattered if there wasn't one. But he hadn't expected there to actually be a perfect quest for him.

—Making clothes for a noble.

"And, in order not to be disturbed by Megumin and the others, I specifically said I was in my room 'doing handicrafts' and that I wasn't to be disturbed."

"So you really were doing handicrafts!"

Kobayashi couldn't help but retort loudly. He had thought Kazuma was doing that kind of "handicraft." So it was all just a misunderstanding!

"Wait, Kobayashi-senpai, don't tell me you thought that when I said not to disturb me, I was..."

Hearing his retort, the intelligent Kazuma immediately figured out what he had thought. His expression instantly became strange, a look of someone who had been wrongly accused.

"No, no, no, I would never think that! In fact, I even deliberately took Megumin away so she wouldn't bother you, which is why I was arrested by the guards while trying to appease her. No matter how you look at it, you owe me a favor for this, right, Kazuma-kun?"

He was talking complete nonsense.

Although on the surface, that's what it looked like, the reality was completely different.

Kazuma looked at him suspiciously. His words weren't very convincing, but the fact that he was squatting here with him was an irrefutable fact, so he just accepted the "favor." Besides, he was relying on him to get him out later. He had to accept the favor, even if he didn't want to.

After hearing Kazuma's story, he asked, puzzled, "So the noble didn't like the clothes you made, and that's why he had you thrown in here?"

"No, the noble was very satisfied with the 'alluring, yet at the same time pure' clothes I made," Kazuma said, a little proudly.

"I'd imagine so."

He nodded in agreement. If he had to pick one person in Axel who understood this stuff the best, it could only be Kazuma. With his experience from the modern world, which was full of dazzling and blood-pumping material, it was a dimensional-reduction strike against the people of this world. It was impossible for him not to complete the mission successfully.

"Then..."

"The reason I was arrested is because something was stolen from that noble's house."

"What was stolen?"

"A bottle of super-rare and incredibly expensive high-grade sparkling liquor."

"Er..."

He was even more puzzled. What did that have to do with him?

Kazuma continued to explain, "I was the only one who went into that room with the noble. On top of that, my class is 'Adventurer,' and I also have a prior record, so..."

"So he pinned the crime on you?... You've really been wronged, Kazuma-kun."

Kobayashi patted his shoulder sympathetically.

Kazuma was a person with a flexible bottom line, but in some matters, he wouldn't act as recklessly as the other problem children. With his cowardly personality, he would absolutely not have offended a noble. So, no matter how you looked at it, he had been framed.

"Mmm... Don't worry too much, Kazuma-kun. As soon as I get out, I'll think of a way to get you out," he said.

With tears in his eyes, Kazuma said, "Thank you, Kobayashi-senpai!"

Unlike those unreliable problem children, only he could give him this last bit of warmth.

Just as the two were about to discuss what to do.

"Hey, Kobayashi. It's time for your interrogation."

Guard A and Guard B came to his cell and led him out. He gave a thumbs up to the worried Kazuma, telling him not to worry.

Arriving at the interrogation room, he sat obediently in the chair. This wasn't like being at home; he naturally wouldn't mess around.

Guard A spoke first. "I didn't expect a thick-browed, big-eyed kid like you to have that kind of perverted psychology. Spit it out. How long have you been plotting it, and what were you planning to do to the [Fledgling Phoenix]?"

The 'Fledgling Phoenix' title has even reached here?

He retorted internally, but explained, "It's a misunderstanding, a complete misunderstanding! You two should know my character. I would never do something so despicable! Besides, I like them curvy. A flat board with no-curves like that doesn't interest me at all!"

He did his best to prove that he had no such thoughts, and even took the initiative to expose his own preferences.

But the guards didn't believe him at all.

"Hehe, isn't that what the viscount said before? And how did that turn out in reality? And that merchant before, who insisted he liked them curvy. And then what? You can't judge a person by their cover, isn't that what they say?"

"That's right. It's not impossible for someone who looks serious on the outside to actually be a hopeless pervert on the inside."

Why do their words give me such a strong sense of déjà vu?

The perverted knight in my party... on the outside, she's a cool and beautiful knight, but once she gets worked up, she's a complete pervert that everyone avoids.

His mind had wandered a bit.

Returning to the present, he knew that no matter what he said, they wouldn't believe him.

Because—

"How do you think you got in here? Or do you think our ears were mistaken? At the city gate, you were yelling so loudly about how you like 'flat boards.' Have you forgotten?!"

That's it!

To appease Megumin, the words he had said were extremely problematic. It was excusable that he had been misunderstood and arrested on the spot!

Damn it! Megumin, you set me up!

He began to rapidly spin his brain, trying to find a way to break the deadlock. Otherwise, if he was sentenced, his reputation would be ruined on the spot, and he would most likely be branded as a "pervert."

He, who liked mature older women, had no interest in lolis!

...Wait, lolis?

I've got it! I've found a way out of this!

Suddenly, he revealed a confident smile. His calm and composed appearance had no trace of panic, a complete contrast to his flustered, cold-sweat-covered state from just now.

The guards were very puzzled.

"Kobayashi, is there anything else you want to argue?"

"No, not at all."

He shrugged and even clasped his hands together with a pious expression. "I love flat chests!"

"What?!" x2

The two guards hadn't expected him to dare to say such a thing in front of them. This was too rampant! He wasn't taking them seriously at all!

How could they tolerate this?

They threw a confession form and a pen at him. "Since you've admitted it, then..."

"Wait." He held up a hand, interrupting them.

"Now what?"

"I like flat chests. Please tell me, what's wrong with that?"

"...Huh?"

His sudden question left them stunned.

However, he spoke again. "Let me make one thing clear. I said, 'I like flat boards.' I did not say, 'I like lolis.' The two are not the same. I'll have to ask you not to confuse them."

That's right, that was the loophole he had found!

"Er..."

The guards looked at each other and began to carefully recall if he had ever said the words "like lolis."

But he could guarantee that he had absolutely not. After all, his personal principle was to never cross that line!

While the two guards were at a loss, he pressed his advantage, slammed the table, and stood up. "I like flat chests! What's wrong with that! As long as you're not committing a crime, a person's XP is free! Or... are you saying that small-chested women cannot be called women?"

This was a punch he had learned from Megumin.

That loli, besides Explosion magic, was also very skilled with her fists. This one-two punch instantly stunned the guards.

They quickly denied it. "No, no, that's not what we meant."

"No, that's exactly what you meant!"

He continued his barrage, pressing them. "Apologize! Apologize to all the small-chested women in the world! Hurry up and apologize!"

"S-sorry!" x2

The two guards subconsciously apologized in low voices.

I've won!

A triumphant smile curled up on his lips. This little trick of reversing the roles of guest and host... he was actually pretty good at it.

Then, he put on the same goddess-like smile as Aqua, his body exuding a divine radiance, as if he were a god absolving them of their sins. "It's alright. I've already forgiven you. As long as you sincerely repent, all the small-chested women in the world will forgive you."

"Yes, we sincerely repent!" x2

"May all the small-chested women in the world bless you. A...men... AQUA!"

"Th-thank you..." x2

The guards shed tears of gratitude.

Actually, he had played this a little too far. After the fact, when the two of them calmed down, they would realize something was off. Therefore, he quickly changed the subject to keep them from thinking about it.

He reached into his pocket and produced two free succubus shop passes.

"Here."

He gently pushed them over, a broad smile on his face that made it impossible to refuse.

In fact, they didn't refuse.

"No! We can't accept this!"

"This is a bribe! We can't accept it!"

That's what they said, but their hands instantly snatched the passes and held them tightly, as if afraid he would take them back.

You duplicitous bastards.

Of course, he didn't believe that any man could refuse a free pass to the succubus shop. Their acceptance was within his expectations. He just had to think of a suitable reason to let them accept it with a clear conscience.

After thinking for a moment, he said, "No, no, no. I'm just asking you two to return these passes to the succubus waitresses at the shop. So, if they do anything for you to express their gratitude later, it will have nothing to do with me."

Hearing his words, the two guards immediately understood, their faces showing dawning realization.

"Oh, so that's how it is."

"We understand. We'll be sure to hand them over!"

The three of them smiled, a tacit understanding between them.

He had a good relationship with the guards. Otherwise, back when he was dragging a slime-covered Giant Toad back, they wouldn't have shown concern and told him to find a suitable party. It was just that, given their sensitive identities and his own poverty at the time, they hadn't had any real friendship.

These passes were just a small token of gratitude for their continued care and concern.

With his flowery words, the misunderstanding was smoothly resolved.

Before leaving, he specifically asked the other guards if he could take Kazuma out with him.

The answer he got was—

—No.

Because the noble who had been stolen from was currently in a fit of rage and was determined to catch the culprit who had stolen his super-expensive sparkling liquor. He had even drawn a picture of the bottle and put out a wanted poster. Therefore, no suspects could be allowed to leave.

There was no helping it. He had to leave first.

Holding a wanted poster with a picture of the sparkling liquor on it, he returned to the mansion.

As soon as he entered, he saw a panicked Megumin and Darkness.

"Oh... n-n-n... no! Kobayashi was taken away by the guards because of me! What do we do, Darkness? You have to think of something!" Megumin said, anxiously grabbing her arm, looking very worried.

And she was also surprised. "Not just Kazuma, but even Kobayashi was taken away? ...To be able to enjoy the cruel punishments of the jail... I'm so jealous of them!"

Hearing her, he couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Can you please not be jealous of that kind of thing?"

"Kobayashi?!" x2

Seeing him appear before them, safe and sound, Megumin let out a sigh of relief.

"Yo, I'm back."

He greeted them, then pinched the loli's cheek. "If you were so worried about me, then don't say such easily misunderstood things in the first place!"

"I-I'm sorry... I was wrong!"

She apologized readily.

In reality, the fault wasn't entirely on her. If he hadn't shown such open disgust for flat boards, he probably wouldn't have been arrested on the spot.

After a small punishment, he let her go.

Seeing him return, they smiled happily, but then immediately became flustered again.

Megumin said nervously, "Th-this is bad, Kobayashi! Kazuma... he was also arrested! And I heard the guards rushed into the mansion and forcibly took him away! Don't tell me he was doing something strange!"

"I wanted to stop them, but they wouldn't listen," Darkness added.

"Don't be nervous, don't be nervous. He's fine for now."

Seeing the two of them worried, he told them how Kazuma had been implicated by an unknown criminal.

"...I can't believe it's like that."

They lamented his bad luck. He was always so proud of his super-high luck. Why would something like this happen to him?

At this moment, Aqua returned.

She saw everyone gathered in the living room and curiously came over. "What, what? What happened?"

"Ah, actually..."

He was just about to explain when he saw that she was holding a bottle of sparkling liquor in her arms. The pattern on the bottle was identical to the one on the wanted poster!

Even Darkness and Megumin had noticed.

"A-A-A... Aqua?! Where did you get that sparkling liquor?!"

"So the culprit was you?!"

Suddenly, they all understood why Kazuma, with his super-high luck, had been thrown in jail.

And far away in his cell, the hopeful Kazuma's nose itched, and he couldn't help but let out a loud sneeze.

He felt that someone was persecuting him.

(End of Chapter)