Maybe a Fake Gintama

"We believe in you!" The little monkey shouted to Kawaki as they ran, "With your hard work, you'll become the number one factory manager in Japan!"

"You can do it! Kawaki!" Tsukuyo clenched her fist and shouted to Kawaki with excitement.

"Is his name Kawaki?!" a child quipped.

"Ahhhh!!!" At this moment, the little monkey and Tsukuyo screamed and fell to the ground simultaneously.

"Hey! What's going on with this production process?!"

Just as a child finished complaining, the conveyor belt stopped, carrying Kawaki to a somewhat peculiar scene. It was a slightly shabby room filled with rolls of paper, and in the room, a man (Hasegawa) was sitting on the ground with his back to them, busy with something.

"It's turned into another weird scene again!"

"You said you wanted to become the factory manager?" Hasegawa, wearing old clothes, a shabby hat, and a beard on his face, said without turning his head, then turned around with a severe expression and shouted, "You should inherit my legacy and become a toilet paper expert! It was decided when you were born in this family!"

"Who's that?!"

"He went to work at a tissue factory in Edo," Hasegawa said as he stood up, holding several rolls of paper, then repeatedly slammed one roll after another onto Kawaki's head, "Do you think I'm a fool?! Are you also going to mock toilet paper as only being good for wiping butts?!"

"Why is the factory manager's dad in this place?" a child asked in confusion, looking through the window.

"It's probably a scene recall or something," Daigorou replied casually, "It's probably connected to being kicked out of the house earlier."

Just as Daigorou finished speaking, inside the window, Kondo, who was COSing as a housewife, suddenly grabbed Hasegawa's hand, crying as she tried to stop him, "Honey! Stop it! This child has his way of doing things, just like you. He just wants to make tissue paper!"

"So now mom is here too?!"

"Let go of me, Kikuko!" Hasegawa said thoughtfully, "This is something between us men!"

But just as he finished speaking, the conveyor belt, which had been stopped for a while, suddenly started moving again, carrying Kawaki forward.

"Ah! Kawaki!" Hasegawa quickly shouted, raising his hand to ask, "Where are you going? I haven't finished talking yet. Wait, Kawaki!"

"What are these people doing?!"

At this moment, Kawaki was transported into a machine labeled "Roof." A second later, Kawaki, still wearing work clothes but with no change in posture, was sent out by the conveyor belt.

"Ah! The clothes changed back!"

"Ah, factory manager, thank you for your hard work." On another conveyor belt beside Kawaki, the figure of fourteen appeared. He lay on the conveyor belt holding two cans of coffee. After saying this, he placed one can of coffee beside Kawaki, who was still unresponsive.

"Why are there fellow travelers here now?!"

"What's wrong? Feeling down here?" Jyuro turned his face to Kawaki and asked softly.

"He's not feeling down at all, and he's just been lying on the conveyor belt, slacking off!" a child retorted.

As if remembering something, Jyuro chuckled softly, turned his head back to look at the ceiling, closed his eyes, and sighed softly, "Are you thinking about your old man again? He's a great dad, born into a family that's been toilet paper experts for generations, never using tissue paper. Not just for wiping butts, even when wiping noses, writing, even the tires of cars are made of toilet paper."

"Was the last one essential?!"

The children continued to run along outside the window alongside the conveyor belt.

"Because you didn't like the path your old man laid out for you, you left home and became the manager of a tissue paper factory," Fourteen continued, lightly chuckling, "Are you still sulking and refusing to use toilet paper? Hmph, the whole family is so stubborn. But, factory manager, seeing how outstanding you've become now, I'm sure your old man would use tissue paper, too."

Just as Jyuro finished speaking, the conveyor belt carrying Jyuro went in another direction, and Kawaki once again stopped in front of the peculiar scene.

But this time, in this scene, the father, who had been holding rolls of paper and continuously scolding Kawaki, was no longer there. All that remained was his mother, kneeling on the ground, wiping her tears and looking in a specific direction...

"In the end, nothing has changed about that person." Kondo looked at the memorial in front of him, gently rubbing a box of tissue paper in his hand, and sighed softly, "Haha, because he's so stubborn, whether it's wiping butts or blowing noses, he always uses toilet paper. Even after your tissue paper went on sale, he still uses toilet paper when wiping tears."

Speaking, Kondo's shoulders began to tremble lightly, and his voice became smaller and smaller, "Saying this alone is not enough..."

At this moment, the conveyor belt started moving again, and Kawaki passed through a white curtain. A gentle BGM accompanied various fierce-looking figures on the white curtain, and voices kept coming from behind the curtain.

Jyuro: "Factory manager! What are you thinking? Do you think this kind of product can sell?"

The little monkey: "I can't watch this anymore!"

Tsukuyo: "Hey, did you hear? It seems like the factory manager has inexplicably created a new product~."

Kanesada: "It's useless, useless. We're about to go bankrupt; we can't sell anything at all; at this rate, we can only close down, and there will only be a few of us left in the factory. Ah..."

"Could it be..." Daigorou, looking at the scene outside the window, muttered.

Kondo: "I'm about to be fired, aren't I? Even so, you still refuse to listen..."

"Could it be..." Daigorou's eyes widened, his pupils trembling slightly, looking at Kawaki still on the conveyor belt, unbelievably guessing the following plot.

Hasegawa: "Hey, hey, what's that thing anyway?"

"Could it be..." Daigorou kept repeating these words, obviously guessing the following plot.

Kawaki's voice came from the machine he was sent into just then.

"Toilet and tissue paper go hand in hand, wiping away tears. It's the best sanitary paper." Saying this, Kawaki broke through the machine holding a tissue paper box.

[That's... the Patriot!!] All the children thought at the same time.

"Next, the final step," Kawaki looked up, showing a serious face, "Assemble the Patriot!"

"Look!" a child suddenly noticed something and pointed to the front of Kawaki, "In front of the conveyor belt!"

Wearing paper shorts, with angel wings made of paper behind him, and a halo on his head, and still with a beard on his chin, Hasegawa, suspended in mid-air, held a roll of toilet paper in each hand.

"Come on! Factory Manager Patriot!" Hasegawa shouted.

"Ahhhhh!!!" Kawaki, holding a box of tissue paper in each hand, shouted and rushed towards Hasegawa against the direction of the conveyor belt.

However... due to moving against the direction, several seconds passed, and the distance between the two people did not decrease.

"Even so, do you still think the Patriot is rubbish?" Shinpachi stood behind a group of children, softly asking.

"Even so, do you still think this kind of work is rubbish?" Kagura asked as she looked at the children staring blankly at the scene inside the window.

"Work is neither noble nor lowly. Laboring without fear for the sake of someone is what's called work. Regardless of the type of work, that sincerity is precious. That's why everyone can gather together to help each other and support this world together," Shinpachi continued, looking at the little monkey cheering for Kawaki beside the conveyor belt.

Upon hearing this, the children all bowed their heads in contemplation.

"Do you want to come and work too?" Shinpachi opened the door to the factory area.

"Go help the factory manager!" Shinpachi and Kagura said with a hint of relief.

The children rushed into the factory area one after another and headed straight towards Kawaki.

Seeing this scene, Kawaki's face showed a sense of relief and touched, "You... you guys..."

But before he could finish being moved, all the children stood up and kicked Kawaki with their feet, knocking him off the conveyor belt.

"You could've just gotten off the conveyor belt?!" all the children cursed simultaneously.

Then, ignoring Kawaki lying on the ground, the children turned and left without hesitation.

"You've done a good deed."

"Yeah, got rid of a big piece of trash."

"And they made us join in this boring farce, damn it!"

Listening to the children's disdainful remarks, Shinpachi and the others stood expressionless in front of the unconscious Kawaki.

"It taught us quite a lot..." Shinpachi murmured.

"Yeah..." Kagura nodded, agreeing, but then she noticed something, "By the way... where's Uncle?"

...

"Hey, did you guys know?" Kanesada stood at the entrance of the factory area, arms crossed, blocking the entrance, and smiled very kindly at the children who had just changed their shoes, "There's only one outcome for humans who know how to make the Patriot, you... should be prepared for it, right? Hehe..."

Seeing Kanesada, who smiled extremely bloody, all the children huddled together, trembling.

Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang bang!!

"Ahhhhhh!!!" With the children's screams, seven gunshots rang out...

...

Watching the children who had been scared unconscious by the members of the Yorozuya being carried away one by one, Shinpachi quietly complained, "Kanesada-san... no matter what, scaring children like this is wrong, isn't it?"

"No, wasn't it the factory manager's order?" Kanesada waved his hand indifferently, then chuckled, "Well, whatever. This result isn't bad either, and... children need at least a hundred years to understand adults' work!"

"Um... Uncle," Kagura suddenly pulled Kanesada's sleeve and whispered, reminding him softly, "You're the only one here who's not working you lazy bum."

"Who's the lazy bum? You little brat!" Kanesada retorted, veins popping on his forehead.

"I misspoke, Kagura-chan." Shinpachi hurriedly intervened to smooth things over.

"Yeah, yeah, learn some manners from Shinpachi," Kanesada nodded in approval.

"It should be a lazy bum who's not ashamed to be supported by women'," Shinpachi continued, holding up a finger.

"Do you want to die?!" Veins popped out on Kanesada's face instantly.

"Hey, let's go, lazy bum," Tsukuyo turned around first and left, casually reminding him.

"Goodbye, lazy bum," the little monkey waved.

"Farewell, lazy bum supported by women," Kondo waved and sighed.

"I envy you, and I want to do that kind of work, too. Goodbye, lazy bum," Hasegawa waved and sighed before turning away.

"You... go to hell, all of you!!"