Maybe a Fake Gintama

Chin Pirako had forgotten how many times she had charged at Kawaki and how many times she had been kicked away, but now, it seemed all she wanted was to kill the man in front of her and that vixen.

The heavy rain continued to fall, splashing on Chin Pirako's face, who seemed to have just passed out. Struggling to open her eyes, Chin Pirako tried hard to see Jirochou lying beside her, a naive smile on his face as he held a broken smoking pipe, but no breath left his body.

"It wasn't supposed to be like this..." Large tears mixed with the rain rolled down Chin Pirako's face. "The outcome I envisioned wasn't supposed to be like this. I wanted Jirochou to take over this town, so why? Why did it turn out like this... why..."

"Ah, lying on the ground in this rain can easily lead to a cold, you know~" Kawaki's voice suddenly came from above Chin Pirako. "After all, you're kind of our benefactor, and it would really be troubling for us if you got sick like this~."

Chin Pirako tried hard to open her eyes wide, staring venomously at Kawaki.

"Kid, you don't really think that everyone will be played around by you, did you?" Kawaki, holding an umbrella, squinted and showed a sinister smile that looked very ominous to Chin Pirako. "You... are still too green. Do you think the thing binding these two guys to this town is the same? All for a promise with some dead man? Who said? Why would you think that? That silver-haired perm may be, but maybe your Dad isn't~ In fact, such a promise might not even exist~."

"No... it can't be!" Chin Pirako gritted her teeth like a cornered dog. "Jirochou... Jirochou..."

"So, how was that person killed?" Kawaki smiled and asked back. "If that were really the case, you wouldn't think this old dog could actually bring himself to kill that person, would you? Don't you ever wonder? If there really was such a promise, how could he possibly kill that person?"

"Jirochou... must have had his reasons!"

"If that's what you think, then I won't say anymore," Kawaki shrugged, then his tone became ice cold, "Next, it's time to send you on your way. I had thought about chatting more since the villains in TV shows do that. But since you're not interested, there's no need..."

"I... must kill you and that stinking fox!" Chin Pirako gritted her teeth and spat out hatefully. "Even if I become a vengeful spirit, I'll come back!"

"Indeed, it seems you have nowhere else to go but to become a lonely ghost," Kawaki spread his hands and smirked deliberately, "After all, even if you went to hell, those there would devour you completely since you're the ones to blame for their plight."

"You bastard—!!" Chin Pirako lost her reason once again, but this time, she didn't even have the strength to stand up.

"Oh, one more thing I forgot to tell you," Kawaki said as if suddenly remembering, "Didn't you say you wanted to help your Dad conquer the world? Don't worry; that message was properly delivered to Edo Castle. The bakufu took great interest in your family after that. Not just here, but that flower field thing, too; they're paying close attention. By now... the bakufu's troops might have already reached the flower field. Perhaps it has truly become a proper flower field now..."

"You bastard!!"

"Ah? Why curse me? Isn't this what you wanted? Helping Jirochou conquer the world and all." Kawaki feigned confusion, "I did send the challenge to the bakufu. They were quite thrilled to learn of Jirochou's rebellion. But... just at that moment, they suddenly learned that Jirochou's daughter jumped out and righteously killed her rebellious father and all of Jirochou's underlings. They were just about to reward you~ It's really a rare reward one could get in a lifetime~ Don't worry, the reward money and the banners, I'll hang them at your grave. But it's a bit regrettable that your father, Doromizu Jirochou, will be branded as traitor. Quite contrary to the sort of heroism you wanted~ But thanks to your help, both officially and privately, we can now officially take over this town. Officially, the bakufu now considers us heroes for quelling a rebellion and will let us manage this town, and privately, Kabukicho now has only our power remaining. Really, thanks to you~ little girl."

Listening to Kawaki's words, Chin Pirako's eyes lost all their light, and her desires for revenge and survival vanished.

"Just hearing this has killed your will to live?" Kawaki complained. "I actually thought you were quite interesting, and I was willing to spare your life, considering you have no home to return to, whether alive or dead. I was curious to see what unexpected things you might do."

Chin Pirako didn't speak. She just blankly stared at Kawaki's umbrella.

"So, if that's the case, how about I tell you what these so-called truths are? I'm curious to see how you'll react," Kawaki said casually, glancing at Jirochou beside him. "That story you made up to deceive that natural perm is true. Your dad indeed killed that granny's husband out of resentment..."

"Impossible!" Chin Pirako argued, still clinging to a sliver of sanity. "That granny's husband died in the war, shielding my dad from a bullet!"

"Who told you that? Did you see it with your own eyes?" Kawaki asked with a smirk, his interest piqued. "You... must have too high expectations of this man. A hero? No, there never was such a thing. He has always been a despicable and shameless guy. Those acts of chivalry were all just a front. His hatred for that man was extreme! So, during the war, he delivered the final blow to his apparently wounded but not fatally injured 'brother,' ending him for good! Change? No, this old dog has never changed; he has always been this way! There was never any real hero; it was all an act!"

"No, no, no, no! It wasn't like this; it wasn't like this... My mom told me what kind of person my dad was. My mom wouldn't lie to me; she wouldn't lie to me..."

"Because this man deceived everyone..." Kawaki continued as Chin Pirako on the ground nearly lost her sanity again. "Do you want to hear the rest of the story? This man returned to this town after the war, ignoring his own woman, and immediately started chasing that granny... no, the widow, to be precise. But granny, seeing through your dad's true nature, didn't completely give up on him and wanted your dad to reform. So... taking advantage of your dad's feelings, granny succeeded..."

"Afterwards, for some reason, granny and Jirochou broke up, perhaps because a woman once obtained no longer held any attraction, and your dad also stopped loving her anymore. But what your dad didn't know was that granny was already pregnant with his child and secretly gave birth. Feeling guilty towards the woman you dad discarded after the war, guess... where did that granny send that child? Where is that child now? Did the child grow up well? Did the child turn into a sweet girl who likes flowers?"

Chin Pirako's eyes widened further...

"That stab you gave granny... I think, even if she's gone to hell, granny would feel it very, very painfully~ After all, the girl who gave her that stab was...!"

Chin Pirako made no sound, then gritted her teeth and used all her strength to get up from the ground, emotionlessly knelt towards the town hall, and bowed deeply.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." Chin Pirako just mechanically repeated the bowing motion, murmuring apologies over and over.

"And... one last thing before I send you to your dad," Kawaki stood up, holding his umbrella, and smiled slyly, "Actually... everything I just said was a lie."

"Eh?" Chin Pirako suddenly paused, lifting her blood-streaked forehead.

"Revenge prank a huge success!!" Shinpachi and Kagura came out holding a banner that read, 'An eye for an eye, the prank on Chin Pirako was a great success!'

"That, was it all recorded? Tama?" Kawaki asked towards the door.

"Yes, it's all recorded, Kawaki-sama," Tama switched off the camera mode.

"Really, this girl is incredible, believing such a flawed story," Kawaki turned away, chuckling, "What an idiot."

At this moment, Chin Pirako still hadn't come to terms with it.

"Cough!" Jirochou spat out a black pill from his mouth and then stood up. "So she's still just a kid, huh? Adults only need to say a few words to make them believe anything, this naive kid. Looks like I need to educate her properly. But speaking of which, lying in the rain with injuries for half a day, this old man really can't handle it anymore."

"Where did you get these black death-faking pills?" Gintoki got up, puzzled, and looked at the black pill in his hand.

"Got it from Zura," Kawaki shrugged and replied.

"Dad..." Pirako murmured.