Love Me More

Chapter 24

If nothing else, Si-yul was certain about this. Such an unbelievable lie… While male omegas might not make up half the world’s population, their proportion was high. How could an alpha who claimed everyone clings to him during rut refuse that? Si-yul squinted his eyes.

“It’s true. I don’t do guys with balls. Even if they’re omegas, I’m not interested.”

“Then why did you ask me to sleep with you?”

Woo Hyun-se didn’t answer immediately. He just gazed steadily at Si-yul. It felt like he was looking him up and down. His eyes moved over Si-yul’s forehead, eyebrows, nose bridge and tip, cheeks and lips, then eyelashes and eyes. It wasn’t like he was looking at a person, but as if he was meticulously examining something hidden in a painting, his gaze was deep.

Si-yul tried to match his stare, not wanting to back down, but ended up lowering his eyes. His palms were slightly damp. He clenched his tingling fingers for no apparent reason. It stung as if sparks from a flint had touched his cheeks.

“Good question.”

“…”

“I’m curious about that too.”

His throat felt unbearably dry. Si-yul pulled the drink sitting between him and Woo Hyun-se towards himself, opened the cap, and poured it into his parched mouth. The carbonation scratched his throat as it went down. Frowning, he put the bottle back on the table. Woo Hyun-se naturally took it and put his lips to the bottle’s mouth. He just wetted his lips and then made a face of disgust, just as he had done before.

“You always taste it even though you say it’s too sweet.”

Si-yul changed the subject, partly to shift the mood. Woo Hyun-se went along with Si-yul’s obvious ploy.

“It’s oddly tempting.”

“I fell in love with it as soon as I first tasted it. It was a whole new world.”

“Isn’t there a similar drink? Mil… something?”

“Milky Way? No, it’s different. Very different. You’ll see. Soon you’ll be craving only this. I guarantee it.”

Kwon Yuwon had been the same. At first, he had scolded Si-yul for always choosing such strange drinks, but later he started putting them in the basket himself. Sometimes he would buy them saying they were for Si-yul, but end up drinking them all himself.

Si-yul was confident. Woo Hyun-se would soon be addicted to this new world.

Despite Si-yul’s bold claim, Woo Hyun-se looked doubtful. He tasted the drink once more, then shook his head, insisting it wasn’t for him.

“But really, why did you come here? Did you really come because you wanted to see me?”

Honestly, Si-yul couldn’t believe that Woo Hyun-se had come all this way just to see him. Wasn’t it for some other business? On the other hand, wondering if this might be a chance to hear those words “I wanted to see you” once more, Si-yul unconsciously swallowed quietly and watched Woo Hyun-se’s lips.

“You should know by now. Why I came all the way here.”

Or maybe he just came to get the answer he wanted. Si-yul’s ears perked up. Though his eyes were on the dirty table, all his attention was focused on Woo Hyun-se. Not to miss even his breathing.

“I came to take Kwon Si-yul home.”

The words Si-yul wanted to hear didn’t come out. Deflated, Si-yul looked at Woo Hyun-se with slumped shoulders. Woo Hyun-se was grinning. With his chin resting on his hand, he smiled mischievously, not hiding his intention of knowing what Si-yul wanted but refusing to say it. It was a smile that would make even a nine-tailed fox back down.

Si-yul let out a “Huh…” and then laughed like an old man, “Heh heh.” Woo Hyun-se was hard to figure out. Would there ever come a day when Si-yul understood what was going on inside him? Though annoying, he wasn’t someone Si-yul could completely dislike, so he chose to just laugh it off. It felt like he had been bewitched by invisible, lush tails.

* * *

Si-yul couldn’t fathom what kind of scheme was coiled up in Woo Hyun-se’s mind. He had asked Si-yul to sleep with him, said he would wait, said he would give him a few days, but after that, he didn’t rush him. Even when they called or texted, he didn’t cross any inappropriate lines. Basic check-in messages like “Have you eaten?” or “Did you sleep well?” were the norm.

This made it even scarier. In horror movies, isn’t it more terrifying when a ghost appears suddenly without warning, rather than building up the atmosphere? It felt like Woo Hyun-se might suddenly show up and peck at him, asking if he was mentally prepared now. Si-yul wondered if taking the initiative before that happened might be the way to sleep with both feet stretched out comfortably.

Si-yul cracked open the door and peeked outside. Only after Kwon Yuwon’s presence had completely disappeared down the alley did he close the door. He took a deep breath and, with a determined resolve, picked up his phone. Just in case, he also pulled the blanket over himself.

He planned to study today how exactly men have relationships with each other. It wasn’t particularly because he was accepting Woo Hyun-se’s proposal. An unexpected thirst for knowledge had ignited within him. He wanted to explore this new territory.

Asking someone he knew would be the quickest way, but he had already tried asking Kwon Yuwon before and it hadn’t gone well. If he asked again, knowing Yuwon’s personality, he might grab Si-yul by the collar and torture him by not letting him sleep until he spilled everything. Rather than that, it was better to trust the power of the internet.

There was also the option of asking the bartender. If he used the excuse of asking for a friend, the bartender would comfortably and thoroughly explain. Si-yul vaguely remembered hearing the bartender say he didn’t discriminate between men and women when dating, during a drinking session with everyone.

However, if he went that far, it might become obvious that it wasn’t about a friend but about himself. It was better to reduce the risk. Having made his decision, Si-yul turned his attention to his phone.

Even when Si-yul occasionally watched adult videos, he had only seen ones with women and men, never accidentally seeing videos with two men. But this time, he was ready to challenge himself. With a solemn mind set on studying, he wiped the sweat from his palms on the blanket and clicked on a new video. It was a video featuring a slender man and a muscular man, both naked.

“…Ugh.”

Though he had clicked bravely, the content was too intense from the start. Si-yul quickly turned off the screen and swallowed the rising nausea.

Did he really need to go this far? He was curious, but did he really need to find out this way? He desperately wanted to give up, but at times like these, a strange stubbornness always rose up and provoked him.

It felt like someone was snickering behind him – the voice sounding exactly like Woo Hyun-se’s – mocking him. Asking if he was ready to give up at just this level. Saying, “That’s so like you.”

Si-yul took a deep breath, calmed himself, and searched for another video. This time, it was a tamer video compared to before. Two men, still fully clothed, were shyly kissing. He could handle watching this much. Fortunately, the nausea he had felt from the previous video didn’t surge up.

It was suffocating and stuffy watching under the blanket. Si-yul poked his head out from under the covers. His face was red from the heat, and a few strands of hair were stuck to his forehead. He brushed his forehead and hair with his palm and sat up, leaning against the wall.

He watched the video as if watching a movie. After the two men undressed, the atmosphere heated up considerably. He wanted to turn it off, but feeling like he would lose if he did, he kept his eyes wide open, determined not to miss a single scene. His expression while watching the video was no less intense than that of a student burning with final passion right before the college entrance exam.

“…”

The study session that had started in broad daylight ended as the evening glow faded and dusk crept in. Si-yul collapsed. His hair was a mess and his eyes were bloodshot, like a shut-in. His complexion was haggard, as if he had been through a rough ordeal.

Though he hadn’t climbed a steep mountain, there was no strength left in his body. The consecutive videos he had watched had churned his mind into a muddy mess. Even after turning off the videos, those flesh tones still flickered before his eyes. Rather than being arousing, it had been a series of shocks. To think such a world existed. It might have been better for his mental health not to know.

His phone, which had heated up from playing videos continuously, was now connected to the charger. Si-yul lay face down on the blanket, ruminating on the shock.

The second video he watched had a deceptive start. Their act, which looked like it might break the bed, had Si-yul clinging to the wall and trembling like someone who had seen a ghost in broad daylight. The shock was so severe that he didn’t dare to turn off the video.

However, thanks to that strong “preventive shot,” he was able to watch the next videos more easily. After watching a few, he began to see the patterns, and later even ate snacks while watching.

‘Wow, that’s actually possible,’ he would occasionally exclaim. The intricate positions they took seemed like mere acrobatics, and the naked bodies became as familiar as those seen in a public bath. The panting moans, which were unpleasant at first, later became as familiar as the sounds heard from someone exercising next to you at the gym.

While he was at it, he also looked up videos of omegas and alphas. From educational videos to real-life experiences. When reading about knotting, he became scared as if returning to his initial state. He could understand why Kwon Yuwon had desperately told him to avoid alphas. If such a phenomenon occurred inside one’s body, anyone would naturally want to avoid alphas.

On the other hand, there was also talk of “knotting addiction.” At first, Si-yul wondered what kind of crazy person would get addicted to something that seemed straight out of a gore movie, but he learned that although it’s excruciatingly painful at first, if you endure a little, the pleasure can become greater than drugs, leading to addiction.