NOVEL NEXT Chapter 038: An Interesting First Class With The Trunch
Today is the day when it happens and all my preparation comes to fruition; one may question whether I am talking about finally entering Love Heart Online or teaching a class on medical research.
The answer is quite simple.
Both.
Both are happening on the same day.
Therefore it was obvious that today would be quite a long day however the meaning of that was more true than I probably would have liked. See, I don’t understand the details but according to Big B, the different worlds within Love Heart online all have different timescales that somehow slow down when you are outside the game. It was hard to explain and harder to understand (at least for a feeble human) so to simplify… I could easily spend several days in the game with no issues.
This changes per world with me not being sure on the exact time scale of the different planets; especially the case when there were later more options added. Due to the sheer amount I only bothered remembering the important bits of information as well as general details that would be useful no matter which I travelled to in the future… Or past at that point.
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<< If Taken As A Part Of {user}.[Armor-Cordis Mantis] Story Then Future Would Be More Accurate Due To Time Being Relative To The Perceiver >>
<< In Other Words The Nature Of Time Is Different For {user}.[Armor-Cordis Mantis] Than A Layman>>
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Huh… That is quite the interesting point however I’ve admittedly done little research on the wider conceptual theories or thought experiments around space-time. Certainly something that could potentially be useful yet I believe it would be too dumb to focus on concepts I have no actual use for yet.
Well, time-space is very useful, it’s more because the cost is too expressive and ironically time consuming.
Either way I sadly lacked a lot of information despite having gathered every bit of data that I could fit in my pretty little skull. A disappointing result brought about by still being a (not quite as) squishy human thus lacking much of my current mental capacity. There was truly no comparing my current self to the weakling that I was back then.
Something I would make great use of later.
For now I was walking through the corridors of Frux towards a classroom that should be filled with “my genius students” by now - as well as someone far more terrifying than any rich or poor kid.
Soon reaching a door to the room I was assigned by the hag. Doing the obvious that promptly led me to walking in on a group of only six people, of which, I surprisingly recognised three of them. The obvious one was that psycho sub-teacher who simply tilted her head with a bright smile that made me shiver.
Meanwhile the other two were far less expected; one of them being the boy who was previously following the pseudo-nun around. What was more interesting about them was that they very much appeared to be the siblings of my future wife (she just does not know it yet) so there is a lot to be considered. Since he evidently isn’t Miss Jesse Harper - to be Porshi - I did forget to get his name so he may not be a sibling.
Still he very much looked like Jesse if they were a male instead, even down to the beguiling blue eyes and glorious golden hair, so they had to have some relation. I could hardly be wrong when recognising the features of the crush I’ve had for both of my lives at this point. Plus there was the strong potential that Jesse just hid her family away from the public eye. If my last life’s “HERO” guild were willing to kidnap her there was no chance they wouldn’t stoop so low as to kidnap her markedly weaker family.
Then there were also plenty of other guilds who did not even attempt to remain positive in the public eye that could do even worse things than HERO without care.
The dark guilds especially.
Despite that, there was nothing to give me pause, the last person I saw nevertheless made me pause as I was halfway to the professor podium of the small sized auditorium.
Hardly surprising as just their appearance alone gave me a very interesting question to ponder…
HOW THE FUCK DID THAT FAT ASS PIECE OF SHIT WORM HIS WAY INTO MY CLASS.
“Seems like you recognize the tubby one sen~sei~.” Someone - in spite of my hard earned talent to have a radiant smile emerge on my face instead of a death glare - my assistant teacher noticed my gaze. That behemoth of a woman leaning over to whisper in my ear from behind. Me not even realising she moved there until she spoke up!
It was hard to refute her either as what I was looking at was… I can’t remember his name but it’s the Umpa Lumpa that became an elf in the previous timeline - looking exactly like the version of him that I managed to extract some light petty revenge on. Only real difference being that he was less elf-like however he was never that much like the media's commonly imagined elf; he certainly was never lithe nor in tune with nature.
Currently he was sitting on a desk with his hands in front of him, wrapped around an energy drink can, with sparkling eyes as he tried to not look like a pig. A difficult act with how his gaze was ‘subtly’ tracing across my curvaceous body.
“We have met several times over the years however the same could be said for many people in the academy and I’m afraid I simply can’t remember all of them.” Developing a “sombre” smile at the pretend realisation that I am way more important than these peasants. As com-
“Compared to you even the wealthiest family is a group of peons so it only makes sense; you really are too nice to even feel sorry~”
…
That nun just gave an understanding smile as a few snickers appeared from four of my students - there was one person who did not find my assistant very funny. If he was annoyed by me not remembering his name in the first place… He was now visibly livid. Sadly he was smart enough not to pick any fights which actually makes me g-
“Must make you greatly sad for me not to deal with that problem child~.” Said words whispered in my ear.
… How does she keep doing that?
Ignoring a possible existential crisis; I made it to the podium where I gifted the poor mortals with a bright smile while pulling out my holopad & waiting for it to sync up. Moments later a display containing the usual introduction crap was present. Of course I wouldn’t get into the interesting stuff at first and I also had no interest in making this course seem interesting to those who weren’t fully dedicated.
If they wanted that they could find some subpar teacher - I was going to at least to my best to raise these idiots up (not him) into something of actual worth for the days that were to come.
It would increase my own worth in the future.
To do that I needed to break them down so that I could build them into something that was actually worth a little something as currently they were worth less than the dirt I walked on. As such I decided to start by boring them by going through all the standard practices as well as some of my own common sense ones.
Since my common sense was clearly superior to any humans.
Either way there was nothing quite as boring as going over rules which lead to most the class glazing over with boredom. In fact it seemed like Jesse’s likely sibling & surprisingly the nun were the only ones who were paying any attention to the slides. A fact that would not annoy me if the fat ass reprobate didn’t continuously take loud sips from his canned drink.
“So you should always put scalpels back in the place you found them so that you know which size is where as the slightest difference in blade thickness cou-”
*SIIIIIP*
The sound of snickering followed as I was finally interrupted by those loudest one yet - a fact that was making me consider if I should throw away pretences and shoot the fuggly bastard in the head. Still I did not consider such violent recourse for long. Simply because I was made aware that there was no need.
I had an assistant.
*BANG*
I was the only one who seemingly got to witness the magnificent scene of the six foot six point six (a detail learned from the recent report) practically flying across the room. Diving across the front desk to grab the hair of the Umpa Lumpa before doing a backflip. Using the momentum of gravity to slam his puggy face so hard that his desk deformed… The same desk that is made from a steel alloy. “Shut the fuck up or get the fuck out you pig-kin lookin’ bastard~!”
That thread coming from a voice laced with laughter that only made the nun seem more psychotic; especially as she lifted him up by his hair again to reveal his bloody and deformed face to the class. His nose was practically indented at this point with my higher knowledge allowing me to recognise that his facial muscles had essentially been shredded by his own fracturing skull.
Everyone else in the room obviously was taken back, especially those who laughed, leading to an aura of silent fear that was only enhanced by the sputtering attempts of the young lord who attempted to speak.
Unfortunately for him… This led to some of his blood ending up on the nuns face
“You want to actually talk to your instructors like that then spit on me for educating you~?” Tilting her head with a wolf-like smile that could cause a drake to quake where they stood. Not even getting the poor bastard, even I’m starting to pity him at this point, no chance to gather his senses to respond.
Using the one hand grabbing his hair to “lightly” chuck him into the air (an amazing feat considering the 20ish year old man is hardly short nor slim). Only for her two hands to come around to grab the back of his head to drag the poor fucker back towards herself. Slamming her own forehead forward to deliver another blow that was thankfully far less monstrous than previous displays.
I wouldn’t care if he died however it would likely result in more paperwork so it’s preferable if it could happen outside my purview.
Fortunately my friendly understudy was done with her own form of education - unceremoniously dropping him to the floor. “See, isn’t that better, you are creating a far better environment for learning all about the study of medicine without all that noise.” It was slightly problematic that he was seemingly undergoing a shock induced seizure yet if I ended class fast enough I wouldn’t need to deal with it.
Seeing my chance I pointed towards the only person unaffected (the male Jesse). “Well on that note would you go with Miss Trunchbul take the gentlemen to the infirm- no best take him to the emergency care so that they can take care of him.” By taking care of him I of course meant to let him die in their hands instead of mine so I wouldn’t need to deal with any of that.
“Class will end early since none of you seem receptive to learning.” With that I began heading out before anyone could stop me; at first I was afraid of having Trunchbull be my assistant teacher, however I think we will get along splendidly!
If any of the students still come I’ll actually bother learning their names and do an introduction!