Legally Brunette (Ace Attorney style GameLit)

"Lights…camera…action, baby!" Director Artie Decor exclaimed through his megaphone. "Take one!"

"Mina could hardly wait for the first take on her story of law, love and smelly escargot. As the unpaid audience for the fake trial pretended to talk among themselves, often using the word rutabaga, Raven dressed as Mina burst through the door. All eyes were on him as he strutted perfectly like a runway model in her heels. Only a male Freddie Fahrenheit fan could truly pull off such a stunt. He was careful not to tear the mini skirt dress either with his athletically built legs. But when Raven got to the end of the courtroom, and stood in front of the fake Justice Divine Justice, the heinous artistic license took over.

"Pinkle Ponkle!" Raven exclaimed, thrusting her finger at the judge and talking like a slightly lispy teenage girl.

"Pinkle Ponkle?!" Mina muttered, wrinkling her button nose. What kind of daft catchphrase is that?!"

Blind chuckled. "This coming from Miss Wowie Zowie and Oh Lawd?!"

Mina shook her head. "Hey, they could catch on if I repeat it enough times! I even got patent pending on those words!"

Now it was Ashley's turn to sneer. "That's probably why the director had to give the movie Mina a new catchphrase. He didn't want to be sued by the original Mina."

"Doh," said Mina as she slapped her hand in her face so hard it could leave a mark. Copyright was supposed to be her friend, not her foe. Why had it betrayed her?

But the dialogue got even worse as Raven giggled like a schoolgirl. "Is that a gavel, judge? Or are you just happy to see me?"

The fake Justice swung her head back and forth. "Sit down, child before I whoop your booty with this here gavel and send it to the fifth dimension."

You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

Blind winced from the portrayal of his grandmother. "Ugh, she's not *that* sassy!"

Mina signed too. "Typical Gollywood archetype!"

Raven continued to strut in his heels over to the defense bench where Trudy sat nervously. The sweat on her brow and the grimace suggested she had stage fright, but Mina definitely thought it added to the visage of someone accused of beheading a head chef.

"Umm, hi Mina," Trudy said, her eyes darting back and forth as she mumbled in her deep voice. "Thank Dog, you're here! I mean thank GOD! You're gonna shave me…er…save me!"

Mina was surprised Artie didn't yell cut for Trudy flubbing her lines, but the naturally timid Trudy probably would flub her lines IRL.

"Don't worry, Trudes! I stand for truth, justice and mini malls," Raven said, before his eyes bugged over the prosecutor's stand. "Hubba hubba, who is that?!"

Mina was ready to slap her face in her hand again. The actor playing Legal Suit Larry was impossible handsome and swaggered over to Raven and Trudy. Both who pretended to bite their fingernails off in a flustered manner.

"Salutations ladies!" The fake Legal Suit Larry said with a salute. He flexed his abdominal muscles, making them ripple like a velvet ocean of sexiness.

"Hubba hubba!" Raven exclaimed again. "Are you legally allowed to be that hot?!"

Mina balled up a fist. She was ready to strangle the director. "I'm supposed to fall head over heels over Blind Justice. Not Legal Suit Larry. What kind of lousy fanfiction of my story is this?"

Ashley and Blind both seized their furious girlfriend to prevent her from going on a rampage. "Relax, love," Blind said, turning Mina around by her arm. "This is artistic license, remember?"

Ashley smirked as flashed her emerald green eyes at Mina. "Regardless of what goes on the big screen, undergrad. We know your true story. That's what matters."

Mina took another glance at her beautiful girlfriend and handsome boyfriend and she felt an overcoming sense of mellowness. They were right. This hack director couldn't rewrite what truly happened because as cheesy as it was, the stories would remain in their heart.

Blind Justice took Mina by the arm. Ashley did too. "Now," Blind said. "Let's just laugh at the butchering of our tale. What do you say, Mi-Mi?"

Mina flashed two thumbs up at her two partners. "I say, pinkle-ponkle!"