Isekai Dungeon Architect

-Shrrrrrrrrrr…

When I woke up, or whatever the hell counts as 'waking up' after being eaten by a vacuum cleaner of doom, I was no longer in the middle of the road.

'I'm not sure if I should count myself as alive anymore either.'

A strangely intense heat slammed into me first, along with what seemed like sand.

The atmosphere around me was dry, and the suffocating heat crawled into my lungs like smoke.

The air around me was shimmering, rippling as if the world itself was melting.

The ground beneath me was so hot I instinctively moved and found a shade that, though not anything better, provided an endurable hotness.

My feet were crunched on a blackened soil that crackled like burnt paper.

'Welcome to Hell, Aria. Population: you.'

My mind was playing games with me right now. Everything I had on me was gone. The clothes I was wearing were melting because of the heat.

But hey, at least there's no lusty demon here to defile my hot, toned body.

"Cool," I croaked, looking around at the blood-red horizon stretching like an endless wound. "This is either an isekai or the world's worst spa day."

Above me, the sky wasn't even a sky… it was a boiling canvas of fire, ash, and something that looked suspiciously like screaming faces drifting through clouds of smoke.

And then the smell my senses had ignored for so long hit me: burnt metal mixed with… sulphur? Rotten eggs and death. My perfume was officially canceled.

'What the fuck happened to me…?'

I ran a mental check: there's no laptop, no phone, and there won't be any clothes in a few minutes either.

'Dignity? That was already left somewhere back at the office. It was probably getting stepped on by now.'

Any clues what the hell is going on, Aria? Negative.

I hugged my knees for three seconds because that seemed like the human thing to do, but then stood up, not falling to the damnation of this hell.

"Okay, so… a new world. Standard isekai starter pack, right? Some god, some magic, a slime maybe—."

I was thinking of all kinds of odd things I've seen in novels and games, but then, everything around me stopped again.

It wasn't just the sensation of the burning heat on my skin, not just the suffocating air— it was everything.

The floating faces in the clouds, the rivers of fire that carried them, everything turned into a motionless painting. Even the ash falling from the sky stopped miraculously.

'The world has hit pause again.'

I thought another gate would appear and take me back, but that did not happen.

Instead of the white door, the endless red world was painted in a new white.

This wasn't the 'oops, I overexposed the camera' kind of white. This wasn't the moonlight white like the door, or the fluffy white of the clouds.

This wasn't even the holy white of the heavenly harps.

'Oh, just kill me at this point…'

A surgical, sterile, blinding white, the kind that burned your retinas until you weren't sure if you had eyes anymore, covered the world that I was in.

And when things became normal this time, when I 'regained' my consciousness this time around, the hell before me had vanished.

Now, there was a desk before me.

Yes… a fucking Desk.

'Did someone spike my water this morning? Am I just high or something?'

I tried my hardest to wake myself up from whatever nightmare I was having, but turns out I'm already wide awake.

'It's just that fate has chosen me as its next sacrificial lamb.'

A mahogany monstrosity so massive it could crush entire cities if it fell over. A structure so massive that one could only compare it to the mythical descriptions of the divine.

What I was seeing did not make sense to my eyes or my brain, so there was no need to complicate things here.

There was a big, massive desk before me, and behind it sat— no, loomed would be a better wording— an entity so big the comprehension capacity of my brain refused to process anything related to it.

There were three faces before me, and six arms moving in perfect, terrifying harmony as they shuffled papers the size of continents.

One of the faces smiled warmly, the second glared like it wanted to set me on fire… and the third one looked utterly bored.

I don't know if what I'm seeing right now is a god or whether this place is heaven or hell, but there was one thing that crossed my mind as I looked at this being.

"Oh, lol." I muttered under my breath." Corporate bureaucracy exists in hell, too?"

Logically, they should not have heard what an ant like me might have muttered under my breath. But the way their eyes moved told otherwise.

"Aria Cartethyia Solona."

The voice wasn't a sound… It was a vibration that shook my bones and rearranged my molecules.

I had not experienced anything like this in my entire life. In simpler words, just hearing that voice made me feel like I was dismantled, and then was recreated at the very same moment.

It did not hurt physically, but my head was most certainly not doing well.

"Um… hi? You, um, have my name. Cool. Saves me the intro." I swallowed hard.

What was happening right now, I had no idea. What would happen to me now, I did not know.

But since I'm still alive right now, it doesn't seem like this entity that brought me here from that hell has certain intentions to 'obliterate' me.

Perhaps the angry face wants that, but the sad face and the happy face don't seem all that hostile. Which should be a good sign, right?

-Zaaaaaaaaaaaa…

The smiling face leaned down, or what I think was 'down', because perspective was meaningless right now.

"We are the Administrator." The thundering voice announced. "You are not from here."

"No kidding." I tried to smile bitterly, but the too quick response made it awkward.

While somewhat monotonous, they sounded almost the same as what I had always imagined the god would sound.

There was a certain energy in their voice, a somewhat caring energy since the one speaking was the smiling face.

The previous response had made the angry-looking face even angrier, so I pushed myself to calm my raging heart and tried to explain the situation.

"One minute I'm rage-quitting my job, and the next thing I know I'm in a barbecue simulator. And now I'm in… IKEA's afterlife showroom, I guess?"

I fucked up.

I know I shouldn't have said that, but sarcasm seemed like the only option when I'm this nervous!

Fuck my life!

Wait, no! I want to live, ugh! I'm still in my twenties!

"Umm…"

I wanted to try to explain myself, but they did not seem as offended as I thought they would be.

The bored face simply sighed, like it had been dealing with idiots for millennia. "How did you enter this plane?"

It seemed like they did not want to spend too much time on an idiot. Well, good for me!

"I… was sucked in by a white door? Well, it has these intricate murals and strange runes on it. It was also glowing with serene white moonlight."

Those were the best words that had come out of my damned mouth ever since I came— appeared in this whiteness.

However, my simplest answer earned me the wildest reactions from all three of the hovering faces.

The glaring face froze mid-snarl as if it had just missed its chance to have a meal, the smiling face blinked, as if they had just heard something absurd, and even the bored face looked slightly less dead inside after hearing my simple answer.

"…A white gate?" Murmured the Administrator. "Impossible."

It seemed like they could not believe my words.

Even though I could tell they were an entity far beyond mortal comprehension, they could not judge my provided information as valid or true right now.

"Hey, look. I'm telling the truth whether you believe me or not." I presented my case as best as I could. "Can you just explain what the hell is going on first? Or… do I need to sign up for some kind of loyalty program?"

I wasn't even being sarcastic anymore. I just want to know what is happening here right now!

-Zaaaaaaaaaaaa…!

The three faces ignored me and whispered among themselves in a language that sounded like thunder chewing on glass.

Then, after a brief moment of observation and flipping through some giant pages, they returned their attention to me.

"Your presence here is an anomaly," the smiling face informed. "However… all anomalies must be processed."

Their intentions seemed pure.

"Yei. I love being processed." But it seems like my intelligence was cut in half in their presence.

"You will receive a Skill and a Job Class of your choosing, as per world integration protocol."

My brain took a few minutes to process that.

'Skill. Job class. Integration.'

Oh no…

'Oh hell yes!'

This really was the same as those classic isekai!

"Ok, wait, wait, wait. Are you saying… skills like video game skills? Jobs, as in MMORPG jobs? Like magic and stuff?"

"Yes."

I don't really know if they understand everything I say, but they don't seem to be bothered enough to understand everything either.

Which is a good thing, isn't it? My dumb sarcasm can go on without being punished!

"Huuuu, yei! Hell yeah! Fuck! Ahem, apologies."

I nearly cried at that moment.

All those years grinding Jira tickets and designing multi-cloud infrastructures, and now… now I'm finally the protagonist!

"Okay. I know what I want. My job will be…" I took a deep breath. "Cloud Architect."

I felt emotional for a moment.

This is actually happening!!

"Architect… understood." The Administrator(s) blinked.

It seemed like they had understood exactly what I wanted to say this time.

"Assigning Job: Dungeon Architect."

-Thump!

They stamped on some giant paper as a light glowed around me.

"…wait, what?"

"Assigning the most optimal skill according to Causality: Assistance system."

-Thump!

Again, a new light glowed around me, but I couldn't focus on any of that.

Hearing what they had just announced, I stared at them blankly. And the three faces stared back with the pure cosmic HR energy.

Still, the words managed to escape my mouth, "Dungeon Architect? No, no, no, that's not what I said. I said Cloud Architect. You know, the servers? Networks? Kubernetes clusters?"

They're like gods. They should be omniscient, right? They gave off the 'all-knowing' feeling at the very least!

"We do not know what a 'cloud' is." The bored face tilted slightly while the other two did not have any words to share here.

The verdict was decided as well, so I don't think I have a say in the matter anymore.

"Oh my god…" I dragged my hand down my face. "Fine. Dungeon Architect. Sure. Whatever. At least I got a cool skill, right? Assistance system, was it? Does it help me level up infinitely?"

The Administrator(s) did not say much about it. "It will… assist."

Those were their final words to me before the same whiteness that brought me here appeared all around me once again.

"Now, Aria," the smiling face leaned closer until it filled the horizon. "Survive."

-Ooooooooooooooooong!

The white world shattered like glass.

-Swiiiiiiiiiiiiiiish…

And this time, I found myself falling from a bright, blue sky.