Into The Thrill

“Why are you silent? Keep talking.”

Despite knowing it was wrong and hating it, Haewon, exhausted, gave in and leaned into him. As his body, which had been stiff with tension, relaxed and leaned on him, Hyun Woojin began to kiss Haewon’s cheeks and neck as if proceeding with what comes after a kiss.
Dodging his breath and lips that touched sensitive spots, Haewon turned his head, and something warm and moist touched the other side, sucking on Haewon’s skin and inhaling his deepened body odor.
“Don’t do it.”

“I will.”
“I told you no…, I told you before.”
With the last of his strength, Haewon pushed against Hyun Woojin’s shoulders. The man who had been clinging to Haewon’s neck raised his face.

“Did we ever do this before?”
“I clearly said no.”
“What do you dislike so much? Someone watching your performance? Or being kissed breathlessly?”

Haewon shook his head. He did not dodge as Hyun Woojin’s lips, seeming amused, approached Haewon’s lips. Hyun Woojin’s wet lips touched Haewon’s.
“Stealing a friend’s boyfriend.”
Hyun Woojin’s chest swelled as he inhaled Haewon’s breath. As he exhaled, the chest that had touched him receded. Haewon was staring at him blankly. Hyun Woojin, too, quenched the heat without saying a word.

Hyun Woojin was wasting energy on meaningless actions. When Haewon pushed him on the shoulder to back off, his arms tightly enclosed Haewon’s waist, narrowing the gap that was about to widen.
“He’s dead.”
There was no emotion in his voice. The term death was bland. Those words could not be comforting. They weren’t rationalized, and they held no justification.

“There are plenty of men in the world. I’m not desperate for men.”
Haewon muttered as if dismissing his words.
“See. You like spreading your legs for men, don’t you? Why pretend otherwise? Why act ignorant?”

“It’s not like I spread them for just anyone.”
“Am I just anyone?”
“You’re the most anyone.”
“Yeah, keep nagging.”

“……”
“That’s right.”
As Haewon’s wrists, which had slid down his shoulders, were each grasped in one of his hands, he slowly pulled them up and pushed Haewon against the wall. It was a pose that incapacitated people. He came close as if he could bite off Haewon’s lips any moment. As he was about to say something, his soft lips touched Haewon’s.

“I could really do something to you.”
“……”
It was a chilling statement. While Haewon was silently gasping, the vibration of a phone came from the inside pocket of Hyun Woojin’s jacket.

“There’s a call.”
“I know.”
“Answer it. And let go of my hands. They’re more expensive than your ten years’ salary, so be careful. There are plenty of things here that can pierce.”

“I’m really looking forward to seeing what those expensive hands can do besides play.”
Even as they exchanged ridiculous words, the call did not stop. He sighed lowly and stepped back. He took a step back, pulled out his phone from his jacket, and immediately answered.
“Yes.”

His voice changed instantly. It was no longer the voice of someone who had been nibbling on Haewon’s lips but that of a person diligently and passionately working.
Haewon massaged his wrists, which had been bruised even before being grabbed by him, as if it was because of Hyun Woojin.
As Haewon tried to escape his reach, Hyun Woojin, still on the phone, moved to block his path. When Haewon tried to escape the other way, he swiftly blocked that side too. The step he had taken back closed in again, pressing Haewon.

Haewon leaned against the wall. Hyun Woojin’s voice poured out from a face that was close. Not giving an inch, Haewon was trapped between the wall and Hyun Woojin’s chest. Hyun Woojin, blocking one side with his arm to prevent Haewon from escaping, continued the call.
“Go ahead with the arrest warrant. He’s denying the crime, and there’s a risk of evidence tampering, so the likelihood of the warrant being issued is higher. Otherwise, we'll handle it with a post-arrest warrant.”
“……”

“No. I’ll be heading in soon. Yes.”
He ended the call. The black phone disappeared back into his jacket. The intense heat that seemed to make his head explode had disappeared from his eyes as if it were a lie.
Haewon looked away to avoid those staring eyes. As the heat dissipated, a chilly silence enveloped them. His hand suddenly cupped Haewon’s cheek, forcing him to look at him. It was a voice pretending to be affectionate, but the strength in his grip felt forceful.

“Look at this. Do you know how hard it was to make time for this?”
“Use the hard-earned time where it’s needed. Don’t waste your strength on something frivolous.”
“I deserve at least this much from Mr. Mun Haewon. I hate empty talk, but I think I have the right to that much. Especially since today is Christmas. The whole world should be overflowing with love.”

“He gave me a watch more expensive than his salary as a Christmas gift, and I still turned him down.”
“You should have at least pretended to spread your legs. Getting ignored while courting with a watch that cost him his entire fortune is why that happens.”
“That’s why you go blind.”

“That guy’s eyes are fine.”
“We’ll see about that.”
“I have to go. Stop nagging.”

As if reluctant to part like a lover, he tried to overlap his lips again but Haewon dodged it. His lips touched Haewon’s cheek and temple. The sound of a stifled sigh echoed loudly in his ear.
“Try it again. I’ll bite your tongue off.”
Forgetting that he had just been sucking on his tongue like a madman, Haewon warned him. As if tasting Haewon’s lips again, Hyun Woojin closed his mouth and savored something. He spoke to Haewon, who was just looking for a chance to escape from a place with no escape.

“Mr. Mun Haewon and I met after Mr. Taeshin died. It’s not like stealing a friend’s lover, nor am I two-timing. Don’t be mistaken.”
“Who asked you?”
“What are you so sorry about that you hesitate? If you felt that sorry, you should have answered his call. Would Taeshin come back to life if you push me away because you feel sorry for him? Is that what you want?”

“……”
It was as if Hyun Woojin had read all the thoughts in his head. It was the wrong thought. It was an incorrect inference.
As he tilted his face up close, Haewon, unable to argue back, stared blankly at his whispering lips.

“Why are you so serious alone? I’m not that serious about you.”
Not wanting the slight trembling somewhere in his body to be noticed, as if it might transmit to Hyun Woojin, Haewon stared sharply at him. Then, he lightly touched Haewon’s cheek.
“It means there’s no need to be so serious.”

“Don’t. I’ll bite.”
His lips approached closer. It was no joke. Haewon warned him again. His lips ignored the warning and traced a smooth arc.
“Uh…!”

The lips of a carnivorous being pounced on Haewon.
∞ ∞ ∞
The professor had returned from the seminar abroad, and Haewon visited the school after a long time. He finished the piece he hadn’t completed last time with a lesson and left the practice room.

Despite being the winter break, the music academy’s practice rooms were as bustling with students as during the semester. The sound of the piano, which lacked any sensibility, grew quieter as he walked. Though lacking in skill, perhaps because of their youth, there was still a clumsy audacity and a transparent sparkle in the students' performances. Coming to school always refreshed Haewon’s mood.
The campus was leisurely. Haewon walked along streets still patchily covered with snow when his phone rang. The number displayed on the phone screen was Senior Choi.
“Yes.”

―Is it a good time to talk?
“It’s fine.”
―That job we talked about last time came in again. Are you going to take it?

Despite his vow never to rely on his father's help again, Haewon had recently accepted a credit card from him. Teaching was exhausting and there weren’t many gigs available. He needed to maintain his violin and renew its insurance; expenses were not few. With just his earnings from part-time jobs, he couldn’t cover everything. He quickly gave up and called his father. Now, he had two credit cards with no text alerts for transactions, so he didn't need to take on additional work. Recently harassed by various matters, he lost his daily rhythm and planned to focus on recovering his condition and practicing for a while.
“No. I can’t do it.”
―You said you needed money?

“My father agreed to continue supporting me.”
―Well then.
“Thanks for your concern, anyway.”

Senior Choi sighed at Haewon’s response.
―Remember Kim Jeong-geun we met last time?
“Yes.”

He was the de facto head of HanKyung Group, a name he had heard from newspapers and news, and a classical music aficionado. Although it was a brief meeting, Kim’s profound appreciation for music and his kind, humble demeanor as a conglomerate head had made an impression.
―It seems he specifically asked for it. He wants to hear your solo.
“My solo?”

―He really liked your performance last time. I promised HanKyung Group that you’d do it, thinking you needed money. What should I do now?
As he continued his call while slowly walking across the campus, Haewon stopped in his tracks.
“You should have asked me first.”

―Sorry. I thought you’d definitely accept.
“Just decline, please.”
―It’s hard for me to refuse his request. His wife is on our foundation's board, and it was Kim Jeong-geun who changed the conductor last time because the program was always the same. It seemed insincere. How can I refuse such a person’s proposal?

Although he was financially comfortable thanks to his father, Haewon had recently asked Senior Choi for potentially lucrative work. It was morally right to accept since Senior Choi had deliberately looked out for him. However, he didn’t want to. It was a personal request, and he disliked the idea of a recital in front of just a few family members and friends of President Kim Jeong-geun.
Moreover, President Kim had connections with Hyun Woojin. Haewon hadn’t seen Hyun Woojin, who had left bleeding from the lips, since then and did not expect or wish to see him again.
“I’m sorry. I don’t want to do it.”

―Mun Haewon, Haewon.
His voice calling Haewon's name felt pitiful. Being a HanKyung Symphony employee and head of a family, it must have been a tough situation for him. From his perspective, he must have wanted to secure ties with HanKyung Group. There was no other way but to pester the party involved. However, there was no reason for Haewon to comply just because Senior Choi felt sorry, and Haewon felt uncomfortable with his pleading attitude.
Senior Choi assumed Haewon would comply if he persisted. Before making such promises, one should ask the concerned party. Accepting this time would make it harder to refuse next time. One favor leads to two, two lead to ten. It was cruel, but that was Senior Choi’s nature, which is why Haewon had also declined his offer to provide a private practice room.

“I don’t want to do a solo recital. It's kind of embarrassing to perform in such a personal setting.”
―What’s the big deal? Just think of it as practice and that no one is there. You did well last time, why not?
“I know you're trying to help me, Senior. But I really don’t feel like doing it. Please decline. If it’s difficult to refuse, just say I had a traffic accident.

―Haewon, I'm asking you this favor. He’s offering ten million won per song.
“What?”
―Ten million per song.

It ultimately came down to money.
A person of his stature, fit to be a concertmaster of the Top Symphony, was running errands for tycoons, introducing performers to suit their tastes and pocketing money like a broker. That’s what he was doing to Haewon now.
“Whether it’s ten million or twenty million, I’m not doing it.”

―Come on, listen to me.
“I’ve already told you I don’t need the money.”
―One point five million then? How about that?

“What are you doing?”
―Haewon, this is an opportunity for you. That president is well-versed in music. If things go well, you could get a sponsorship. You wouldn’t need to rely on your father anymore, and you could focus on studying abroad.
Haewon had never specifically discussed his father’s wealth with anyone. He had been momentarily short on cash, but he could study abroad anytime he wanted, as his father was willing to support him.

“If it’s ◆ Nоvеlіgһt ◆ (Only on Nоvеlіgһt) one point five million per song, how about if I play about ten songs that day. Would that be fifteen million? No, what if I play about twenty songs? How much is that? Three hundred million?”
―One point five million per hour isn’t a small amount.
“Who said it's a small amount? I'm not putting up my pride here. I just don’t want to do it. I’m hanging up.”

―Haewon! Just a minute, don’t hang up!
His pitiful call of Haewon's name was followed by a regretful sigh as he seemed to move to a quieter place.
―President Kim Jeong-geun personally requested you. He really wants to hear your four songs. Just help me out this once.

“……”
―I’ll say your condition is bad. Just play one, just one song. Please.
“What’s the fee for bringing me there?”

―Haewon.
“How much did you get?”
After a long silence, he muttered resignedly.

―Five hundred.
“I’ll give you that five hundred.”
It seemed Senior Choi had agreed to receive two thousand as a condition for Haewon’s participation. Each member of a quartet was to receive four hundred. Two thousand per song was not a small amount.

When President Kim selected him like choosing a woman in a lounge, Senior Choi negotiated his price with them on his own. He likely asked for more. Out of which, he intended to keep one thousand for himself, and after Haewon refused, raised it to one point five thousand. The issue wasn’t the amount; it was the indignity of being negotiated and sold without his consent.
―Haewon, come on. Huh? When have I ever asked you for something like this?
“Then listen to my request.”

―What is it?
His face probably brightened up, his voice tone lightened momentarily.
“Confess to Juhui that you’re gay.”

―What?
“It’s not like I’m asking you to break up or divorce right away. Just tell the truth.”
―How can you say that? I’m not...

“I suddenly want to see you looking pathetic.”
―Mun Haewon!
“Juhui, she’s the mother of your children. She deserves to know what kind of person you are. Talk to her and then call me. Then we’ll see.”

Haewon hung up the phone. Senior Choi wasn’t foolish enough to do such a thing.
He didn’t expect to hear from him again, but a few days later, Senior Choi called. Haewon answered, wondering.
“Did you confess?”

―No.
“Then don’t call me.”
―I told them I couldn’t get you, and... they said to leave the orchestra.

“……”
―Is this really what you want, confessing my sexual identity to Juhui? It’s nothing to you. For me, it’s a matter of livelihood...!
Haewon gripped his throbbing forehead, listening in silence. The despair in the crushed voice scraped at his nerves.

“Where are you? Tell me the time and place.”
―Haewon. Thank you. I really appreciate it.
“I’ll accept your request, so listen to mine.”

―......
“Never contact me again. If not, I’ll call Juhui myself.”