Into The Thrill

Hyeon Woojin was a friend of a friend. He was the man Taeshin had been in love with.

If it weren’t for him, if Taeshin hadn’t committed suicide…
Haewon couldn't bring himself to get into the car due to the tight, breathless tremor in his body from not wanting to let go of the fabric he was clutching. When Hyeon Woojin became exasperated and ultimately angry, Haewon pretended not to notice. On Christmas Day, the day when even the most indifferent people show mercy, Haewon ignored him despite owing him a debt of gratitude.
He closed his eyes. The heavy fatigue pressing down on his body forced him to try and sleep.

When he woke up, it was past 2 AM. Thanks to the soundproofing installed on the walls, the external noise was inaudible, and internal sounds didn’t carry outside. It was quiet, probably because it was so late at night.
The stillness of the night was a familiar sensation. It felt like he had finally returned to his normal life. Haewon tried to wake up at the same time every day, but when that didn’t work, he got up when he wanted and slept when he felt like it. If he woke up in the middle of the night, he didn’t force himself to sleep again. He would listen to music, study sheet music, or, like tonight, have a simple meal when hunger struck.
He quickly filled his stomach with instant food and pulled out his violin. He hadn’t practiced in days. He grabbed whatever sheet music came to hand from the shelf and pulled out the first one he found. It turned out to be Ravel’s Tzigane.

He generously applied rosin to the bow and tightened the screw. Of the four bows he owned, he preferred the one designed for solo performances. He adjusted the violin, draping it over his shoulder, and carefully tuned it by turning the pegs.
The officetel was a place where Haewon could practice whenever he wanted. He had never been grateful for it or thought much about it, but now, it felt precious. He realized how much he cherished his identity as a violinist, especially after his usual routine had been suddenly stripped away.
Haewon opened the music stand and began playing.

Tzigane starts with a long cadenza for the violin.
It was said that Ravel took two years to write this piece, inspired by the Hungarian violinist Jelly d’Arányi. After seeing her play, Ravel composed this piece, meant to showcase the full extent of d’Arányi’s virtuosity, and dedicated it to her. This piece was Tzigane.
As Haewon played Tzigane, he could almost feel how obsessed Ravel was with her, how much passion he poured into the piece.

The dance of the gypsies, with no roots, wandering aimlessly. It was spontaneous and fairy-tale-like. Lively and playful, yet filled with sorrow because of the gypsy melody. The breathless trills led into pizzicatos as if fairies hidden in the bushes leapt out to join the dance with the gypsies.
Until the very end, there was a rapid, dazzling change in tone, like a waltz, a complex and intricate sound that took Haewon’s breath away. The variation section required the player’s skill. Twirling long skirts and stretching two hands toward the sky signaled the end of the dance. The fairies disappeared, leaving only the solitary gypsy.
Like a midsummer night’s dream.

From beginning to end, Haewon drew the bow across the strings, before finally lifting it away from the violin.
“Hah…”
Sweat had already started to bead on his skin. He wiped his chin with the back of his hand, letting out a deep sigh. As he turned to get more music, he was startled by a sudden presence behind him.

It was Hyeon Woojin. He was standing with his arms crossed, leaning against the wall, his posture slanted.
“What’s going on? How did you get in here? No, when...!”
Haewon hadn’t even heard anyone enter. He had just unlocked the door and, when he glanced back, Hyeon Woojin hadn’t been looking at his hand. It was a mystery how and when he had gotten in, and to top it off, it was well past midnight.
“…”

A strange look swept over his face as Hyeon Woojin continued to observe Haewon, leaning against the doorframe without changing his posture. He didn’t explain or offer any excuses for his unauthorized entry.
“Do you know what time it is? This isn’t the kind of thing a prosecutor should be doing—breaking into someone’s house like this. It’s trespassing.”
“…”

“Do you sleep with your eyes open?”
Haewon scolded him, but Hyeon Woojin remained silent, still staring at him. Then he spoke.
“You’re completely different when you’re playing music.”

“Who’s asking for your evaluation of me right now?”
“I thought you were someone else.”
“Leave.”

Haewon glared at him, telling him to leave, but Hyeon Woojin didn’t budge. Instead of leaving, he uncrossed his arms and stood up straight against the wall. He took off his shoes and stepped into the living room.
“You said you’d buy me dinner when you weren’t busy.”
“…”

“I’m not busy right now.”
“Leave.”
Hyeon Woojin didn’t move. His expression remained neutral, but there was something repressed in his demeanor. He wasn’t holding back his anger; he was holding something else in, though Haewon couldn’t tell what.

Haewon looked up at him, who had come closer.
“Didn’t you hear me say leave?”
“If a violinist gets angry just from someone watching their performance, what should they do?”

“People? What do you mean by ‘people’?”

Hyeon Woojin raised an eyebrow, intrigued by the vague plural.
“Who are these ‘people’ you’re talking about, that you won’t perform in front of them?”

“Leave.”
“Who got excited just from watching Mun Haewon perform?”
“…”

“You know, your expression, your mood... I feel like I’ve seen this before. I guess I’ve met a lot of people like you?”
Haewon couldn’t help but raise his voice.
“Didn’t you hear me say leave?”

“I’m six years older than you. You didn’t know that, did you?”
“Why should I care about some old man like you? Leave!”
Haewon turned away, ignoring him, hurriedly putting the violin and bow back into the case. Hyeon Woojin stood by, silently watching Haewon in his flustered state.

“Before you report me for trespassing, just leave.”
Haewon glared at him with threatening eyes. He knew both of them understood that no matter where he called, he wouldn’t be able to drive Hyeon Woojin out at that moment.
“How’s the professional opinion? Is it normal to get excited watching someone play the violin?”

“It’s abnormal.”
“I couldn’t hear it with my ears. It’s resonating somewhere else. Maybe it’s because I’m not knowledgeable about music.”
“When a pig looks at a pig, that’s all it sees. That’s how it appears to people with those kinds of thoughts. Normal people don’t see things that way.”

“You’ve probably met a lot of abnormal people. How many have you met to make a violinist act like this just from someone watching them perform?”
“Well, in the end, people only see what’s in front of them.”
“Let’s assume that’s true.”

“…”
“Why does it feel so suffocating when I listen to Mun Haewon play?”
He tugged at the knot of his tie, as if he were trying to release the pressure on his neck.

“I don’t understand what you’re saying, so leave!”
“I’ll stop if it becomes sexual harassment.”
He had already crossed the line, and his presence loomed threateningly. He casually walked around the officetel, flipping through Haewon’s sheet music. Then he approached the living room window, staring down at the city through the tall building’s window.

Haewon packed away his violin and sheet music. He slipped on a thick hoodie over his pajamas. As he gathered his violin, coat, wallet, and phone, he glanced over at Hyeon Woojin, who was staring out the window. Just as he had left to avoid Kim Jaemin, Haewon found [N O V E L I G H T] himself avoiding Hyeon Woojin once again. It was his home, and there was no reason for him to leave.
“How did you get in?”
“I just pressed the password.”

He answered with a nonchalant tone, but his eyes were fixed on the direction of Haewon’s workplace. Even though he couldn’t possibly see it from here, he stared at it for a long time, as if he could. Haewon noticed his gaze and shot him an angry look.
“When did you start playing the violin?”
“What’s it to you?”

He was casually asking questions while trespassing and peering out the window, but Haewon ignored his subtle tone and responded coldly.
“I don’t know much about music, but if someone tried to break my fingers like that, I would’ve stabbed them.”
The laughter that came as he listened to my statement about stabbing the man in the eye to prevent him from breaking my fingers came to mind. It was only now that he seemed to believe what Haewon was saying. Before, he hadn't believed it, preferring to trust Lee Jin-young's statement that Haewon was trying to steal goods and escape with the watch. He also didn't understand why Haewon wanted to leave the house because he couldn't practice there. Watching him prattle on about the violin and other things, it seemed he now felt slightly sorry for not believing Haewon before.

"I called, but Mr. Mun Haewon didn't answer."
"If someone doesn’t answer their phone, you just enter their house?"
"I thought he was sleeping, so I was going to just leave, but then I heard some noises inside. I thought someone like Lee Jin-young was harassing Mr. Mun again, so I entered unintentionally to help."

There was only the violin playing. The room was soundproofed, so there couldn’t have been any suspicious noises leaking outside. Arguing with him over his spurious reasoning was pointless.
"Alright, let's leave it at that for now."
The unexpected arrival of the man had initially shocked Haewon, but he had since calmed down. The man finally looked away after observing the street for a while, his eyes burning with a persistent, unquenchable heat.

Haewon didn't want to provoke him. Touching something felt like it could cause an explosion. With this tense feeling, Haewon stared at the man.
"Do you dislike me?"

"……"

"Do you dislike me because I'm me, or because I was liked by a friend who is now dead?"
It was a sharp question.
It was unclear whether Haewon disliked Hyun Woo-jin because he was Hyun Woo-jin, because he was the man Taeshin, who had died, had unrequited love for, or simply because he was a character who deserved dislike. It was Haewon's feelings and his heart, yet he couldn’t tell which it was.

"I dislike how you act."
While Haewon spoke, Hyun Woo-jin just stared at him intently, as if thinking about something else. Suddenly, he moved. He approached Haewon without hesitation. Haewon flinched. There was neither the time nor the space to escape.
Hyun Woo-jin's hand, which Haewon had thought was warm, now fiercely grasped Haewon's nape and pulled. Haewon was dragged forward.

It was Taeshin's man. The man Taeshin had loved.
Hyun Woo-jin swiftly turned his head to dodge as he grasped Haewon's jaw tightly and pushed him against the wall. Haewon's back hit the wall. There wasn’t even time to feel the shock as hot lips covered his own. The force was strong. Hyun Woo-jin’s tongue pushed inside. The breathing became ragged. Haewon pushed against Hyun Woo-jin's shoulders. They felt as solid as bricks. The man who was twisting Haewon’s wrists pressed them against the wall.
“Huh…!”

The lips were burning as if they had swallowed fire. The wet tongue aggressively twirled inside, unchecked. Haewon struggled and flailed. He hit out, trying to push him away, but couldn’t shake him off. Hyun Woo-jin momentarily lifted his lips, and a rush of hot breath washed over Haewon's face. He swiftly moved in again.
“Ung… Huh!”
A sound of dislike licked his ears. Hyun Woo-jin sharply tilted his head. He thrust from below, making it impossible to escape and escalated the situation.

With one free hand, Haewon pushed against his shoulders. The damp tongue cut through the flesh and sucked deeply. Finally, he released Haewon's wrists. Perhaps he had realized these were the untouched hands of a musician, hands that could mistakenly stab someone’s eyes.
Released, Haewon joined both hands in a futile attempt to push Hyun Woo-jin away, hitting him, but it was useless. Lips and tongue sucking and simultaneously resisting was impossible.
Breathing became impossible. Haewon's mind fogged up as his hitting weakened. Although the frequency and force lessened, he continued to push him away.

“Uh, ung…”
It sounded almost like he was choking him. He had never made such a sound before, but it spurred Hyun Woo-jin’s breath to flare up. The moist lips that pressed and sucked were suddenly Haewon's no longer; they were Hyun Woo-jin's.
Hyun Woo-jin devoured all the flickering flames as if burning everything down. The tongue that lapped stickily around the mucous membrane was sucked in together. The pooling saliva was swallowed. The breath was suffocating, the chest felt like it would burst. He pushed him. Even as he pushed, the man's lips quickly snapped back, intent on making him pass out by suffocation.

“Ugh…!”
This time it was a deeper, sharper interlock. The kiss was so intense that it seemed impossible to be kissed this way. No longer able to hold his breath, his consciousness began to dim. The movements of the flesh that swallowed breath and the base of the tongue became rougher and more desperate. Blood rushed to his face, heating it up.
The hand that had been gripping his cheek moved, caressing like pressing a cervical spine, and swept down Haewon's back. Haewon's body trembled faintly.

As the man's hand moved, a shudder ran down his spine. His other hand followed the first down his back, clutching Haewon's hip with a sudden, overtly inappropriate touch. A dirty man’s hand that felt burdened by innocence.
While shoving his tongue inside and violating rudely, even pulling saliva to swallow, his adam's apple vibrated violently. He killed the speed, languidly sucking Haewon's lower lip. Haewon, with his eyes closed, bit back against his lips. The wet flesh that had been rubbing ceaselessly pulled away.
“Haah.”

As the lips parted, his breath sounded loud. It seemed to be over, but without allowing even a moment's respite, it overlapped again.
“Ung… uh…”
The grip on his hip was so tight it seemed to crush the flesh, then released. A moan of pain came out when he relaxed his grip, and a painful breath burst forth when he tightened it fully. He wanted to beg his tongue to stop. It was so hot his brain seemed to melt.

Having kissed many men and experienced numerous kisses, this kiss evaporated all of Haewon’s memories at once. The thick flesh moved, sticky, as two tongues intertwined. Sensitive tentacles rubbed and licked.
A friend of a friend shouldn’t be this intimate through a kiss. Haewon knew very limited things about Hyun Woo-jin, among which the most certain was that he was the man Taeshin had loved.
Taeshin didn’t die because of this man. He chose to stop living for other reasons. It had nothing to do with Hyun Woo-jin. Haewon wanted to believe that, but the filthy guilt dragged his consciousness deep down, and he couldn’t completely surrender to his tongue. The moist lips that had overlapped separated after a long time.

“Haah, haah, haah…”
Their chests heaved rapidly, sucking in air, shuddering as they collided and rubbed against each other. His hands, which had been holding Hyun Woo-jin's shoulders, trembled. Barely holding his breath, tears welled up in Haewon's eyes.
Haewon barely managed to look up. As if he had been waiting, his eyes met Hyun Woo-jin's. His sharp, piercing gaze had deepened even more. The boundaries between rationality and instinct were blurred, indistinct between day and night.

Hyun Woo-jin licked Haewon’s wet lips with his hot tongue. The sensitized skin trembled absurdly at even the slightest contact.
“Haah, what to do. I need to leave, but I can’t.”
“……Let go.”

“I shouldn’t be doing this to a friend of a friend.”
He muttered this low, almost to himself.
Too weak to push him away, Haewon instead tried to pull him in. It was so obviously futile. He had gripped Haewon’s hip tightly with his entire hand.

His arm encircled Haewon’s waist and pulled him up tight. The throbbing was palpable. It was horrifying and painful. Grimacing, Haewon tried to dodge as Hyun Woo-jin persistently followed, keeping their eyes locked.
“I shouldn’t want to do this to the point of losing my mind, right?”
“……Let go, let me go.”

“That’s not supposed to happen.”
It wasn’t supposed to happen, so why did he do that?
That’s what he was asking. He was reproaching Haewon for what he himself had committed. As if all this was because of him. Without letting go of Haewon’s waist, Hyun Woo-jin continued to ask.

The lips he had harshly sucked on throbbed. Watching Haew
on’s lips, he seemed to want to suck more, to crush them inside his mouth, as his tongue moistened his own lips and brushed against his sharp canines.