Inescapable Escapism

Awkwardness churned within me as I turned towards the others, unsure what to stay, but Katie pulled me into a hug without hesitation.

“We’ll see you again soon,” she promised before letting go of me so Abbie could hug me too.

“Really soon,” Abbie added as she squeezed me and stepped back.

Seth paused for a second before wrapping his arms around me. He held me for slightly longer than the others, I couldn’t help but notice. I didn’t want him to let go. The hug was soothing and reassuring to me, even if it made everything feel too permanent. Part of me wanted to be able to just turn and walk away without really saying anything. Then, it would feel temporary. Like I would see them again in just a few days, but I knew that wasn’t likely.

“Bye,” Scott muttered as he hugged me stiffly once Seth had let go of me.

Scott stepped back quickly, his eyes darting towards Katie, who was still looking at me sadly.

“It won’t be too long, hopefully,” I told them, glancing at Rodgers.

The others did the same, carefully watching his expression for any hint or clue about when they’d pass the induction too. Rodgers didn’t give anything away, though. He simply snorted and shook his head, clearly knowing what we were looking for.

A wave of disappointment washed over me, and I tried to push it aside. Rodgers probably wasn’t allowed to give us any clues, but I still hoped that he would. I just wanted to know that my friends were going to pass.

“Okay, shall we?” he said, looking up at me.

Fear sparked within me again, and I swallowed nervously before nodding.

“Here,” Seth said, pushing the suitcase I’d forgotten he was wheeling towards me.

“Oh, yeah. Thanks,” I said, reaching out to grab it.

“Great,” Rodgers said cheerfully. “Let’s go. Night, you lot!”

“Night,” they chorused back much less happily as we turned away from them and started walking down the corridor.

My heart pounded, and anxiety tore through me, making it harder to breathe. We were about to do it. To leave the induction wing. I wasn’t ready, but I was doing it anyway, and it was too late to stop it from happening. I sucked in a deep breath, trying to hide how much I was panicking from Rodgers. The movement caused the strap of the duffle bag to slip from my shoulder, and I fumbled to pull it back up whilst also wheeling the two suitcases.

“Here, let me take one,” Rodgers offered, holding his hand out for one of my bags.

I hesitated, guilt building in my stomach. It felt wrong to let him take the bag. He was injured, and walking was already difficult for him. It would be even harder for him to do it whilst dragging a suitcase.

“It’s okay,” I said as we approached a corner. “I can manage both.”

Rodgers raised an eyebrow at me.

“Hand it over,” he said firmly.

“Okay,” I muttered.

Still, I paused before passing the bag to him. He took it immediately, his expression determined as he continued to walk without breaking stride.

“See,” he said with a grin. “I can handle it.”

I returned the smile, trying to ignore the guilt in my stomach as Rodgers turned the corner. I hesitated, glancing back to see if the others were still there. They were. They stood outside Rodgers’ classroom, watching me leave. The urge to run back towards the built within me, but I forced myself not to move. Instead, I lifted a hand, waving to them. Seth returned the wave, a sad smile appearing on his face, and I had to look away.

Hurrying to catch up with Rodgers, I felt his eyes on me. He didn’t say anything, though, and I was glad. I didn’t want to speak. I didn’t want him to ask me if I was okay. I just wanted to stay silent for a little while. Luckily, he seemed to understand that. We walked through the induction wing in silence, the quiet brush of the suitcase wheels and our footsteps on the floor the only sounds.

After a couple of minutes, we stopped outside a door, and I eyed it. It looked like the one we’d gone through on the way to my meeting with Ms Brice and Rodgers, but I wasn’t sure. I hadn’t really been paying attention on the way, and every corridor looked the same in the induction wing, so it was hard to tell. A creeping sensation slipped down my spine, and I looked around again.

It did all look the same, and that reminded me of somewhere. Somewhere I’d been before in another world. The hospital or lab or whatever it was. Every hallway there looked identical, and there were hardly any markers on the doors, just like in the induction wing. Everything was just blank. Intentionally forgettable so that if I ever got out, I’d be lost and unable to find my way.

I shuddered and pushed that thought from my mind. The Academy was different from the hospital I’d been in. It was a different world, but I was locked into the induction wing too. I wasn’t an experiment, though. And I was locked in for a different reason. I knew that. It wasn’t permanent. I was almost sure of that.

The door before us clicked loudly, and Rodgers pulled it open, nodding for me to go through before him. Reluctance thumped in my heart, and I hesitated for just a moment before stepping forward. I waited before walking any further, half expecting Rodgers to slam the door behind me and lock me in alone, but he didn’t.

“Sorry for the lack of ceremony,” he said, spotting me staring at him. “Normally, I’d take you through a different way so you can see the Academy from the outside for the first time, but there’s no point in doing it now.”

“Oh?” I said, trying not to show how nervous I was.

“It’s dark out,” he said with a shrug as we continued down the corridor. “You won’t get the full effect. It makes more sense to just go through this way. Safer, too.”

Curiosity mingled with my anxiety, and I fought to think of something to say. I wanted to ask what he meant, but I wasn’t sure that I wanted to know.

“That makes sense,” I said.

“Yeah,” Rodgers agreed as he pulled another door open for me. “I’ll give you the tour in the morning instead, if you don’t mind?”

“Um… yeah, that’s fine,” I said nervously, fighting the urge to insist on having a tour immediately.

“Great,” Rodgers said, continuing down the corridor at a leisurely pace. “For now, I’ll just show you to your room and then swing by the canteen.”

I nodded without adding anything. I didn’t know what to say. My new room scared me, which felt stupid. It was the anticipation; that’s what was worrying me. I didn't know what to expect. Shifting the duffle bag on my shoulder again, I forced myself to look around, recognising the corridor.

I was right before. It was the way we’d come for my meeting with Ms Brice and Rodgers, I realised. Her office was right ahead of us. The door was shut, but even so, I felt myself slowing slightly as we passed it. I was pretty sure she wasn’t in there; Rodgers had muttered something about her not being at the school, but I still kind of hoped she was. I wanted to see her, even if she intimidated me. Her presence was reassuring, and part of me wanted her to see that I’d passed the induction. I wanted to show her how hard I was working, even though I knew she was probably aware that I’d passed.

“She’s away at the moment,” Rodgers said, noticing I’d fallen behind a little.

My cheeks started to flush, and I hurried to catch up with him.

“Oh yeah, you said something about that before,” I mumbled.

“Yeah. She’s been whisked off to some distant corner of the country to deal with some stupid emergency,” Rodgers said, rolling his eyes at me.

His tone made it sound like it wasn’t a big deal, but I was still concerned. An emergency seemed bad, even if he said it was stupid.

“Oh, really?” I asked, trying not to sound too curious.

“Oh yeah. Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it. Every few weeks, something happens, and she has to fly off to deal with it,” he told me as we went through another set of doors. “Every time, without fail, she’s told it’s an emergency, and every single time, it isn’t. Or, at least, not a proper one. It’s never a major threat, just a minor one. But she’s the only one who can deal with it, apparently.”

Rodgers sighed dramatically, and I smiled.

“That sounds… tiring,” I said, unable to think of a better word.

“I bet it is,” Rodgers agreed. “I’ve gone to a handful of those conferences or talks, and I don’t know how she does it. I almost punched the Deputy Prime Minister of Italy the last time I went to one.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah,” Rodgers said darkly. “I’m not a big fan of violence, but that man deserves a punch.”

His tone made it clear he regretted not being able to hit him, and I wasn’t sure what to say to him. Part of me wanted to ask what had happened, but I felt like I shouldn’t. It was probably a secret, something he wasn’t allowed to talk about, but that didn’t help my curiosity.

We turned a corner, and I paused, my steps faltering. We were in the Academy. The main part of the school. It happened so quickly. One moment, we were walking along a normal corridor, and the next, we were there. There was an ever so slight shift that I couldn’t quite put my finger on, but it made me certain that we were there.

It looked like a school, in a way, but it was nicer than any I’d ever set foot in. The corridor was wide, the ceilings tall, and the wooden floor was perfectly shined. Every door we passed was open, and I couldn’t stop myself from peering into them, my eyes wide as I tried to soak everything in.

They looked like normal classrooms, with rows of desks facing the front of the room where I assumed the teacher’s desk was. There weren’t that many desks in each one, though. The classes must have been small, I realised, as I stared into another room, spotting a skeleton in the back corner. There was something strange about it. I could see words written on each of the bones.

Would I be expected to know the name of every bone in the human body, I worried as we passed the room. Maybe that was something we’d learn in class, but I wasn’t sure. Perhaps other people already knew them. I should start to memorise them, just in case. I could do that in my other world, in reality. The bones were probably called the same thing; everything else seemed the same from what I’d seen up until then.

My worries were cut short as we emerged into a large room. I felt my mouth drop open as I looked around at the huge space. It was the entrance hall of the school. An impressive-looking staircase curled around the far wall, stretching up several floors, but apart from that, the space was mostly empty. It made sense, really. It was a school. Kids probably went through it every day. If there were anything in there, it would probably get knocked about as people rushed to get to class.

I looked around again, my eyes falling on the tall wooden doors. Fear prickled within me again as I eyed the heavy-duty locking system on the back of them. Thick metal bars lined the dark oak and seemed to plunge down into the ground. There was no keyhole or number pad anywhere. It looked impossible to open them.

A laugh came from beside me, and my head whipped around to stare at Rodgers.

“I know,” he said, holding one hand up reassuringly. “They look scary, but you don’t need to worry about them. They’re not to keep you or the other students in. It’s to keep everyone else out.”

He was clearly trying to make me feel better, but it didn’t work. The thought of a school, regardless of who went there, needing such intense security measures made me uncomfortable.

Rodgers cocked his head at me, gesturing for me to move away from the doors. Glancing at them again, I started to follow him across the foyer, scanning the room closely. Only one wall, the one above the elevator doors we were moving towards, had any kind of decoration. Four portraits, each one equally imposing, hung on the stone wall. Two men and two women stared down at us, but I recognised one of the people. The almost challenging smirk matched the one on the badge pinned to my chest.

“That’s her, isn’t it?” I asked, staring up at her. “Khan?”

“Yes,” Rodgers confirmed. “I assume Hannah’s already told you her story.”

I nodded, remembering it well from the day we were sorted into Khan’s house.

“Yeah.”

My heart still ached with sadness from what happened to her. She didn’t deserve to be executed. She’d done so much; she deserved to live. I tore my gaze away from Khan’s face, looking at the other woman as Rodgers pushed the elevator button. She didn’t radiate the same confidence as Khan. Khan stared straight ahead, an eyebrow cocked and a barely concealed laugh on her lips, but the other woman didn’t. She wasn’t even looking forward; she stared off to one side slightly, and there was no smile on her lips.

A gentle ding came from the lift, and I jumped, staring at it as the doors opened.

“I hope you don’t mind us using the lift?” Rodgers asked as I walked into it. “Stairs are still difficult for me.”

“It’s fine,” I told him, hesitating before asking, “Do you have to wear the knee brace much longer?”

Rodgers grimaced and looked down at it, causing guilt to flare within me. It felt like a rude question to ask. I hadn’t meant it to be rude; I was just hoping he wouldn’t have to. He seemed so annoyed by it. The sooner he could remove it, the better.

“That depends,” he said with a sigh. “I’ve got another surgery coming up, and then we’ll see how the physio goes. Shouldn’t be more than another six months or so.”

There was a determination in his voice that made it clear the brace would be coming off in six months, even if he had to rip it off with his bare hands. I smiled, watching as he hit the button for the third floor, and the doors started to shut. The lift began to move immediately, and I stared at the buttons, concern growing in my stomach. There were three below the ground floor, and that made me anxious for some reason. I wasn’t sure why, but it did.

I opened my mouth, wanting to ask what they were for before fear stopped me from speaking. It felt too dangerous, like if I asked what was below the Academy, I’d get dragged down there immediately. Anything could have been down there.

“What’s underground?” I forced myself to ask, knowing I would just spend the entire time panicking until I found out.

Rodgers glanced at me, seemingly intrigued by my question.

“Classrooms, mostly,” he said. “It’s a clever loophole that the Academy found. The government bought the building a long time ago, and they wanted us to keep the facade fairly normal so no one suspects anything. Luckily, no one said anything about the subterranean levels.”

Rodgers grinned at me, and I returned the expression nervously. If there were classrooms down there, I’d probably have to go there at some point, and I didn’t want to. The idea of it scared me, and I wasn’t sure why. Maybe I was just being paranoid, I told myself. That was probably what it was. I had no reason to be feeling so anxious.

Dizziness started to pull at me as the lift chimed softly again, but I pushed it away. I wanted to see more of the Academy, not spend my time walking through it in a daze, barely aware of my surroundings. But the vertigo became stronger. I felt irritation burning within me as I pulled out of the world, returning to reality for just long enough to check what was happening there.

I was pulling a door open for my mom, and my lips were moving. I wasn’t sure what I was saying, but I didn’t feel too worried. That was fine. I didn’t need to be there, I told myself as I reached out for the dizziness again. Blinking to clear my vision, I glanced around at the corridor we were walking along. We hadn’t gone far, luckily. Just a few metres.

Muffled conversations came from behind the doors around us as we journeyed further into the school, sometimes accompanied by playful shrieks and laughter. Interest started to build within me. I wanted to know what was happening in the rooms. They seemed to be dorm rooms, judging by the names on the doors. Some of the rooms had three names, but others had only one.

Curiosity burned within me, and I glanced at Rodgers, hesitating before speaking.

“These are the dorm rooms, right?” I asked.

“They are.”

“Why do some people have their own rooms?”

“Because they prefer to,” he said with a smile. “We have a few different options here. Everyone gets assigned a room at first, based on what we think they’ll prefer, but if we’re wrong, you can be moved.”

“Really?” I asked, unable to stop the word from slipping out.

I didn’t expect to have a choice, and immediately, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do. Sharing a room with Katie and Abbie had been nice, but I liked being alone sometimes too. Being around people all the time was tiring, but then being by myself wasn’t always good either. It was too easy to start thinking too much and spiral. That happened less when there were other people around.

“Yeah,” Rodgers told me. “If at any point you decide you don’t want to be in the room you’ve been assigned, you can just speak to your head of house, and she’ll get you moved.”

“What kind of room have I been given?” I asked. “Am I in a dorm or by myself?”

“You’ve been placed in a shared room,” he told me. “But, obviously, you’re the first of your cohort to pass the induction, so you’ll be by yourself for now.”

Hope fluttered in my chest.

“Do you know who else I’ll be sharing with?”

Rodgers glanced at me, pausing before speaking again.

“I can’t say just yet, but you should find out in a week or two.”

“I will?” I asked. “Why can’t you say?”

The question sounded rude. I realised that as soon as it left my lips, but I’d already said it. I opened my mouth to apologise, but Rodgers let out a chuckle.

“Academy policy,” he told me. “I’m not allowed to tell you in case something goes wrong and things get changed.”

“Oh,” I said, disappointment flooding me again.

“But it shouldn’t be long,” he said as he came to a stop. “Alright, this is you.”

“Great,” I said, eyeing the door nervously and making no move to open it.

My name was on the door, but there were blank nameplates underneath. Two of them. Did that mean I would be living with Katie and Abbie again? Hope started to grow within me again. It had to, right? They wouldn’t put me with two random people that I didn’t know, I didn’t think.

“I’ll leave you to unpack and get settled in. You should have everything you need in there. There are some snacks in case you’re hungry, you can drink the tap water, and… I think those are all the usual questions. Anything else you want to know?” he asked.

“I don’t think so,” I replied, staring at the door again.

I knew it was most likely just a room, but the idea of opening the door scared me. I didn’t know what to expect, and that worried me.

“Great!” Rodgers said before hesitating. “This might sound strange, and I know you’ll probably want to ignore me, but can you just stay in your room tonight?”

The hair on the back of my neck started to stand on end as worry coursed through me.

“Okay…” I said slowly.

“Thanks,” he replied, looking relieved. “Normally, I wouldn’t ask it of someone, but you’ve not had the tour yet, and it can be kind of dangerous around here if you don’t know what to watch out for.”

“Oh,” I said. “That makes sense.”

It did, kind of. It was a spy school. There were probably weapons and traps around. They probably wouldn’t just be left out, though. That didn’t sound safe.

“Yeah. Sorry. But I’ll come and get you first thing in the morning for the tour,” he said. “I’ll knock at eight. You should have an alarm clock in there. Make sure you set it so you’re up in time.”

“Great,” I said. “I can’t wait to see everything.”

I really couldn’t.

Rodger’s grin grew.

“You have no idea. This place is incredible,” he told me. “But, for now, go check out your room and get an early night.”

I nodded, taking a deep breath and reaching towards the handle as dizziness pulled at me once more.