In This Life, The Greatest Star In The Universe

Chapter 43

Cancer?

Everyone was in a state of temporary panic at the news that came out of the blue.

Ri-hyuk, who had been persistently questioning, had a blank expression.

His face, which was already pale, looked like a sheet of paper.

Ji-ho was coughing incessantly, as if he had heard something.

Jung-hyun smiled awkwardly and said.

“I told you. It’s better not to know.”

“Do they have surgery if you have cancer?”

“They did a while ago. But the situation is a bit vague now.”

“…What do you mean vague?”

Jung-hyun scratched his head at Ri-hyuk’s question.

“I’ll stop here. It’s better to talk to Kim Bi-ju for the details. It’s a difficult issue for me to talk about…”

Jung-hyun put his bulky old smartphone on the table.

He pressed the shortcut number 7 and Bi-ju’s number appeared.

We all swallowed our saliva.

A gentle voice rang from the speakerphone.

-Hey, what’s up? Couldn’t find the drink?

“No, it’s just… you know.”

-You didn’t accidentally break something on your way, did you?

“Do I always break things?”

-Thank goodness. I thought I had to pay for it again like last time.

A clear laughter was heard.

Jung-hyun looked at his smartphone as if it were a time bomb.

“Hey, I have something to tell you.”

-What is it?

“I ran into Woojoo hyung, Ri-hyuk, and Ji-ho at the cafe.”

-Huh? Why are they all at the hospital? Did Ji-ho get hurt? Or Ri-hyuk? It can’t be Woojoo hyung.

What does it mean that it can’t be me?

“Ji-ho twisted his ankle a little.”

-What?!

His voice rose for the first time.

Soon, a noisy sound was heard from the other side of the phone.

Jung-hyun quickly fixed it.

“You don’t have to worry. He said he’ll be fine if he rests for a day or two.”

-Still. Is he okay?

“Well, he looks okay. But… they asked why we were at the hospital. They said they saw us earlier. So I wondered if I could tell them…”

There was a long silence from the other side.

Jung-hyun’s Adam’s apple went up and down repeatedly.

-Jung-hyun.

“Yeah?”

-You told them.

“Yeah? No.”

-…

I could only hear his voice, but I felt like I could see Bi-ju’s ghost in front of me. 

He looked at Jung-hyun with a look that said to answer him straight, with his arms crossed.

His Adam’s apple went up and down a few times.

Jung-hyun parted his lips.

“I’m sorry.”

-I knew it. You sounded weird from the start. So you’re talking about this on speakerphone?

“Yeah.”

-…

I intervened.

“Bi-ju, hi.”

-Yes, hellooo…

He said with a sigh that sounded like a long breath.

-Jung-hyun, can you turn off the speakerphone for a moment?

“Why?”

-I have something I want to talk to you privately. Turn off the speakerphone and switch to normal call.

“Hey, I…”

-Right now.

Jung-hyun turned off the speakerphone as if he were pressing a switch to hell. He brought the phone to his ear. The volume was low, so I couldn’t hear well, but a whispering voice continued without a break.

It didn’t seem like a good thing.

He wasn’t even exercising, but sweat was forming on Jung-hyun’s wrists.

“Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. No, what I was trying to say… Yeah, right. Yeah… That’s, yeah.”

It's like the husband was nagged by his wife for a long time before Jung-hyun finally ended the call.

“Phew, I survived.”

Jung-hyun wiped his face.

“What did he say?”

“He said he’ll let it go this time, since the situation is what it is. He said he’ll talk to you and the kids separately, and asked me to pick him up.”

“Pick him up?”

“He said he got lost.”

At that, the three of us opened our mouths in unison.

“Again?”

***

It took us 30 minutes to find Bi-ju.

He was far away from the hospital. We wondered how she got here.

As soon as we joined the younger ones in the lounge, Bi-ju ran to Ji-ho.

“Ji-ho, you said you hurt your foot. Are you okay?”

“Huh? Oh… yeah, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.”

Normally, the youngest would have whined, but he waved his hand. He couldn’t even look at Bi-ju.

He was limping.

I suddenly remembered the funeral of my mom and dad when I was seven. 

The kindergarten friends who came to the hall were just like that. 

They didn’t know what to say, and they suddenly burst into tears.

But he wouldn’t cry.

“Didn’t you say Ji-ho hurt his leg?”

Jung-hyun whispered in my ear.

Ji-ho’s walk was normal. Not hobbling like before.

“He’s too shocked. He doesn’t even know he’s walking.”

Jung-hyun walked briskly and supported Ji-ho.

I heard him say thank you, hyung.

Ri-hyuk was supposed to help him, but what was he doing?

I looked around and found another person who was walking with his eyes on the ground.

He was the exact opposite of Ji-ho.

It was strange to see him like that.

Bi-ju looked at the younger ones and whispered.

“That’s why I didn’t want to tell you. I thought it would be a burden.”

“Why would it be a burden?”

“You’re all busy with practice. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. I don’t like it when you look at me like that.”

“Well, they always look at you like that.”

Bi-ju’s eyes turned to me. 

I nodded.

“Just like now.”

A small laugh escaped from his lips.

It was a joke to lighten the mood, and it worked.

Bi-ju said with a relieved expression.

“Thank you for treating me the same. If you were like that too, I would have suffocated.”

“I went through something similar. If I hadn’t, I would have been no different from them.”

“Something similar?”

“Did I tell you? When I was in elementary school, my grandmother had cancer surgery.”

“Oh.”

I didn’t say anything like I know how you feel. 

I knew what kind of reaction to show as an experienced person.

Just treat them the same.

Don’t cringe, don’t pity them, don’t give them useless comfort.

“Is she okay now?”

“Of course. It’s been over 10 years. Cancer is terrible, but it usually doesn’t last that long.”

Bi-ju laughed again.

“Why?”

“No, it’s just that I used to think the same way. That cancer couldn’t last that long.”

A bitter smile crossed his face.

“But it wasn’t true.”

***

Before we entered the room, Bi-ju gathered us and explained the situation.

His brother’s name was Kim Minjun.

He was 10 years old, almost the same age as our youngest.

He was diagnosed with the disease when he was younger, five years old.

I didn’t know the exact name of the disease.

He tried to explain it, but I couldn’t understand it.

All I knew was that he suffered a lot after the surgery.

For the next five years, I couldn’t go to kindergarten or school because I had to undergo constant treatment. 

Sometimes I even had to be hospitalized.

“He was admitted a few days ago because he suddenly had a fever. Jung-hyun knew about my situation, so he came with me. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier. I didn’t want to worry you.”

“No, it’s understandable.”

Ri-hyuk said, swallowing his saliva, and Ji-ho nodded his head repeatedly.

Bi-ju smiled and grabbed the door handle.

“Don’t just pat his head. He hates that.”

The door opened with a click.

The humid smell of the humidifier and the view of the hospital room came into sight. A middle-aged couple sitting on chairs and a kid reading a book on the bed.

“Mom, I’m here.”

I exchanged awkward greetings with the middle-aged couple who got up from their seats.

Bi-ju explained that we were here to visit the patient.

“Oh, you’re here. It’s the first time you’ve met our friends, right?”

His father had a calm impression.

He spoke softly, like a professor, and he actually used to be a college professor. The father and son looked so much alike that if you put glasses on Bi-ju and aged him for 30 years, he would look exactly like him.

“Do you like fruits? I sliced some apples.”

His mother, on the contrary, was lively in her speech.

You know those people who make you smile just by looking at them. They have a charming personality.

Bi-ju’s mother was like that.

When I politely took a piece of apple, she called out to the kid who was staring at the book on the bed.

“Minjun, your brothers are here.”

“I’ll just finish reading this page.”

A cute voice came out.

He looked like a smart student, not a patient, if he wasn’t wearing a hospital gown.

Minjun, who was speed-reading a science book, closed it.

“Jung-hyun hyung. Did you bring ice cream?”

“Of course.”

Jung-hyun smiled and took out the contents from the bag. 

The kid’s face brightened up the room.

Then he looked at us and exclaimed.

“You’re the ones I saw on TV. Right?”

“Yeah.”

Bi-ju smiled proudly and tapped his cheek. Minjun, holding an ice cream in his hand, bowed his head.

“Hello.”

Bi-ju introduced him to us.

“This is Woojoo hyung. He’s the one who made our song.”

“Nice name. I love space.”

“Me too.”

He smiled and reached out his hand. I wondered what he wanted, but it seemed like he wanted to shake hands.

He was so cute that I shook his hand.

“This is Ri-hyuk hyung. He’s the best singer in our group.”

“Hello.”

Ri-hyuk smiled awkwardly and accepted his hand.

“This is Ji-ho hyung.”

“Ji-ho?”

“Yeah, Ji-ho hyung.”

“Oh.”

He withdrew his hand.

He rubbed his palm on his belly as if he was wiping off sweat. But that was it.

We burst out laughing, and only Ji-ho looked bewildered at Bi-ju.

“What did you say about me, Bi-ju hyung?”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“…”

“A little bit?”

Bi-ju said cautiously and then laughed as if he found it funny.

Then he spoke to his brother.

“Minjun, you should shake hands with Ji-ho hyung too.”

“Okay.”

Minjun reached out his hand and said.

“Stop being picky about food and be nice to our hyung.”

While Ji-ho blinked his eyes like a dumbfounded fish, everyone in the room laughed.

***

“How can he have such long eyelashes and such a pretty face? Come on, eat.”

“Thank you.”

I took the fork that Bi-ju’s mother handed me. I ate six pieces of apple, smiling and responding.

“Our Bi-yeon came back from the end-of-year evaluation and praised you so much. He said his new friend is amazing, even though he’s younger. I and Lee were also amazed when we saw the video you filmed.”

“Thank you.”

“Bi-ju always praises you when he comes home or calls. He says today Woojoo did this, and thanks to Lee everything is going well…”

“Mom. Ah, please. Ah.”

Bi-ju cut her off and fed her an apple.

“What did you say when you first appeared on the show?”

“Mom, have another one here.”

“He’s just like Bi-yeon, always interrupting me.”

“Mom, please…”

A smile lingered on my lips.

It was fun to see Bi-ju, who always acted like a mother to us, act like this.

“Anyway.”

Bi-ju’s mother took my hand and said.

“Please take good care of our child. I trust you, Woojoo.”

“Yes, I’ll do my best.”

“He looks so kind, but he’s very stubborn. He’s just like his father…”

“Honey, have an apple.”

This time, his father fed her an apple.

The mother, who chattered like a girl, was cute, and the father and son who desperately tried to stop her were cute too.

They were different from the patient’s family I had imagined.

But that didn’t mean Minjun looked healthy. His face was bright, but his complexion was not.

Should I say he was pale?

I think I now know what <Shower> meant by ‘purple lips’.

The mother told me.

“His fever has gone down a lot now. Yesterday, his fever was boiling and we had to call the doctor at dawn. He was crying and the doctor didn’t want to come…”

“That’s how the university hospital is.”

I chatted with the mother while looking after Minjun.

We were playing a board game on the bed.

A ten-year-old and three older brothers.

It was something like Blue Marble, but I didn’t know what it was. We were all losing.

It seemed like we were letting him win, but Ri-hyuk was the only one who looked annoyed.

He didn’t care about the others, but he seemed to be doing his best. 

I could tell by the way he looked at the dice with displeasure.

Ji-ho was much more relaxed than before.

He even laughed sometimes.

And Jung-hyun kept smiling at Minjun. He sometimes patted him, and it was the first time I saw him with such a gentle expression.

“Jung-hyun and Minjun are very close.”

Bi-ju father answered my remark.

“Jung-hyun always followed him whenever Bi-ju came. He also stayed up with us when we were having a hard time. He’s like family.”

His father looked at Jung-hyun with the same expression as Jung-hyun looked at Minjun.

Of course, Minjun was the same.

The little boy with the buzz cut laughed happily whenever Jung-hyun made a booger joke or played a prank that elementary school kids would like.

He looked at his brother with sparkling eyes.

“That’s also what Jung-hyun bought.”

“What? Oh.”

Bi-ju pointed to the stand by the bed. 

There was a Lego model. 

It looked like a scene from a hero movie.

That was what Jung-hyun had carefully taken out in the morning.

I felt like the mystery was solved.

But there was still something that bothered me.

Minjun’s fight against cancer had started five years ago.

Then why did Bi-ju suddenly act weird lately?

“Bi-ju.”

I was about to talk to him.

There was a cheer from where the board game was spread.

Minjun had won the game.

He lifted the miniature trophy that looked like a symbol of victory and smiled brightly.

“Minjun seems to be in a good mood today.”

I looked at the ten-year-old child following Bi-ju’s gaze.

He had been fighting cancer since he was five.

He was smaller and bald than his peers because of the anti-cancer treatment that suppressed his cells. He couldn’t even go to kindergarten, let alone school. He looked like he was enjoying a rare pleasure.

“Brother, what did you want to ask?”

“Nothing.”

I shook my head, thinking I shouldn’t ruin the mood for now.

The mother called her youngest son with a flushed face.

“Minjun, are you happy that your brothers are here?”

“Yes!”

The boy smiled brightly.

“I wish today wouldn’t end.”