I Wanted A Typical Fantasy Isekai, Not This!

"How!?"

This was the third time James had screamed in anger. At first, cleaning the room seemed simple enough, but every time he moved something, another pile of dust exploded everywhere.

'Enough of this shit!'

James stomped over to the balcony and slammed the doors open, letting cool wind pass into the room, disrupting the piles of crap he'd already swept up. He breathed in the fresh air deeply and spun back to face the decrepit room.

He then stomped over to the door that led into the hall and propped it open. From top to bottom is how he started this time. Using his shirt wrapped on the end of the broom, he beat the dust and cobwebs out of corners and swiped at the small chandelier in the middle of the room.

One of the chairs in the living room had been so dilapidated that James drug it out the balcony and cast [Firebolt] on it, burning it to ash.

After two hours of this cleaning frenzy, James had swept most of the dust into the hallway.

His entire body was soaked in sweat and dust clung to him in thick, black grimey swaths.

The shirt he had used as his duster was completely ruined and his bare chest had been sacrificed as the place he wiped his hands.

'Aiden will be lucky if I don't magic missile his ass into dust…'

James stood and inspected the somewhat clean room and groaned for the millionth time that day.

He had only cleaned the kitchen and living room, the bathroom and bedroom had been completely untouched and their doors were still shut tightly.

When he walked into the bedroom, James didn't hesitate and burnt everything to a crisp with rapid shots of [Firebolt]. The window in the room was able to be opened and he swept all the remaining dust into a pile and dumped it outside onto a bed of flowers.

Before heading to the bathroom, James stalked out into the hallway. Moving to the middle of it, near the stairs, he picked a room at random and barged in.

A nice, clean room greeted him and he scowled.

'Sorry to whoever chooses this room…'

James wasn't exactly sure what the limitations to his inventory were and sucked in a breath as he held his hand up. Placing it on the bed, he sighed in relief as it disappeared. He then snatched up everything in the room into his inventory and fled the scene of his crime with a wild grin.

'Bastard! I can't wait till Aiden gets blamed… hehehe…'

He was just about to place his newly acquired furniture down, when Aiden called from the other side of his door.

"James, I've prepared lunch. If you are hungry, I suggest hurrying down before the food goes cold."

James shot out of his bedroom and shut the door behind him just in case the old man walked in and saw the empty room.

"All right! I'll be down there in a minute!"

He looked down at his hands and sighed for the millionth time that day.

Intending on washing his foul grime off, James gingerly opened the door to the bathroom. He slammed it closed after a putrid smell assaulted his nostrils.

Gagging, he stumbled into the small kitchen area and smacked the enchantment runes to activate the faucet in the sink. Clean water rushed out and James grabbed what he thought was a bar of soap. As it too crumbled into dust, a large vein throbbed furiously in his forehead.

Just as he was about to snap, he stopped for a moment and closed his eyes.

After counting to ten and wishing harm on Aiden once again, he accessed his inventory.

James had collected a wide variety of items recently and had all the essentials to live like a normal human even if he was away from civilization. Scrolling through the list of random stuff, he saw what he desired and brought out the bar of soap.

Cleaning his arms up to his elbow, James shook them dry and began heading down stairs. He was lost in thought and cursing Aiden when he stumbled, forgetting the large pile of dust outside his room.

An explosion of concentrated nasty shit plumed into the air around him as he hacked and coughed. His once clean hands were now covered in dirt again and James almost screamed.

Slowly, very slowly, he picked himself up off the ground and turned back into his room. Another vein had pushed into a thick outline on his forehead as he washed his hands again.

His face remained in a remarkable display of controlled anger as he made his way down the hallway and stairs.

James let his nose guide him to a section of the dorms ground floor he hadn't been to yet. His anger dissipated a little as his mouth watered and stomach rumbled.

'No! I will not let him defeat me so easily! I will not be swayed by these glorious smells!'

He tried to harden his will and promised himself he would 'prank' Aiden back, but the smells overpowered him as he entered into a rather large room.

Rows of tables and benches lined this room and James saw a little half wall that looked to serve as a food line. It was like a small cafeteria almost, but more tavern like.

He saw Aiden behind the half wall with an apron on and a shit eating grin.

"Oh! How good it is you decided to come down, I was worried that you were to engaged in a little cleaning."

James's anger came back instantly and he glared at the old man.

"A 'little' cleaning? I expected a 'little' cleaning. Not what ever the hell that damn horror show is up there, you asshole!"

He saw a look of shock cross over the old man's features as he put a hand up to his mouth.

"Young man, please watch your language."

James saw that Aiden hid a small smile in his admonishment and brought both of his own hands up.

In a gesture people on this world didn't understand, he aimed two middle fingers at the the old man.

Aiden raised an eyebrow at this.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

James grinned back at him dangerously.

"It means, fuck you."

A genuine gasp of horror escaped the old man's lips.

"James! That is not proper behavior for a young man!"

James ignored him while walking closer.

"Just give me the food you old douchebag."

Aiden shook his head.

"We're really going to have to work on your manners, you'll scare the other boys half to death at this rate."

With a sigh, Aiden produced a hearty bowl of stew and a roll of freshly baked bread. James felt his stomach rumbling as he took the offered meal.

He hurriedly sat down and dug in, slurping and eating loudly like a man who has been starved.

"Holy shit! This is good Aiden!"

The old man sat opposite of him with his own bowl and let out a wry smile.

"While I don't approve of the exclamation you used, I do concede that I know my way around a kitchen. In fact, I'd say most men like me do, it's one of the few ways to pass the time when you're cooped up inside all day. Usually Brandon and a few others prepare the meals, but they're off until tomorrow so my meager skills will have to suffice for now."

He felt as if the old man was fishing for another compliment and scowled at him.

Aiden chuckled at James's expression and started eating with a smile.

As James finished up, Aiden stood as well.

"I think it's almost time for your servants to get here, the tour should be almost done."

At this remark, James almost cried tears of relief, he'd have his companions to help him battle that foul bathroom with him.

"Nice! I'll go outside and wait for them!"

"Wait, James—"

He ignored the old man and sprinted outside, ready to greet his dependable servants.

What he saw instead was a giant mass of bodies moving his way. The group paused outside the fence and he saw Nadia gesticulating wildly as she pointed at the male dorms and crossed her arms in a big X.

There was some sort of sound barrier enchantment interwoven with the ward the headmistress had warned him about, so he couldn't hear the details of her impassioned speech.

He walked close to the fence line and scoured the faces in the crowd. He saw Emily and Veronica at the back with other older ascendant women and waived at them.

His movements caught the eye of the crowd of girls and slowly, everyone turned to him.

James was now acutely aware of his disheveled appearance and felt a little embarrassed.

He gave the crowd a small wave and a smile.

'Maybe I should've stayed inside…'

As one, the girls went wild and bounced up and down excitedly. They waved back with increasing fervor and one brave girl stepped forward. Seeing that nothing happened to her, she kept moving forward until suddenly, a small crackle of energy pulsed out and flung the girl backwards over the crowd.

This didn't seem to stop a few other girls and James watched as multiple girls became human torpedoes, flying backwards over their group.

James shivered a little as he watched the impassioned girls sacrifice themselves to get just a little closer to him.

'Good god… they're like fucking zombies…'

Another shiver racked his body as he watched the impromptu flying competition.