I Only Want to Lie Flat But Am Forced to Cultivate Immortality

If only the Funeral Master had kept his mouth shut and not mentioned the business about setting up a storefront in the county, he wouldn't have attracted Lai Yong's attention. Sadly, he spent his whole life handling cliff burials, but in the end, couldn't even afford his own funeral, forced to wander at home, begging guests from afar to resolve his concerns about his affairs after death.

Xu Qing seldom encountered such a dedicated colleague. After performing the rites for the corpse, the ghostly shadows roaming the hall before also vanished.

By now, the two bowls of tea brought by the main household had already turned cold. Looking around the funeral hall, only Xu Qing and Xuan Yu, two outsiders, remained. There weren't any other traces of the Funeral Master?

"Mr. Xu, here is one tael of silver, it's not much, but please, you must accept it."

Xu Qing looked at the worried faces of the family before him and understood the significance of this one tael of silver to them.

The family's sole breadwinner had 'fallen to his death,' and all of the family's savings disappeared with him. In such times, gathering one tael of silver was far more burdensome than usual.

Xu Qing wanted to promote his deferred burial services, but the people wouldn't buy it!

"I've heard of deferred grains and rent, but never deferred burials. My family may not be affluent, but we won't take advantage of gentlemen in this matter. It's against the rules."

"If you don't take this money, my son would rather remain unburied!"

"..."

This surely is filial piety! Fortunately, Xu Qing performed the rites early; if Mr. Lu in the coffin heard this, he would surely be crying and fussing!

He had buried people his whole life, and the only desire after death was to experience the cliff burial once himself. But his father, at the wrong time, insisted on being obstinate!

Xu Qing eventually accepted the silver.

The old man found a cow-drawn cart, and the family, young and old, donned mourning clothes, accompanying the coffin on the journey to the northern cliff.

The northern cliff was the highest one around ten miles of local villages, and locals believed 'the higher the hanging coffin, the better the symbolism, promising prosperity to descendants.'

The old man seemed heavily invested in these beliefs, and Xu Qing found out upon inquiry that the old man was a 'spider man' in his youth, and when his father died, he was buried at the second-highest spot on the northern cliff.

If compared to earthen burials, it would be akin to auspicious dragon and tiger positions.

But burying this high didn't seem to assure prosperity for descendants.

The cow cart proceeded slowly, Xuan Yu clad in black atop ahead of the coffin, and Xu Qing, like the Lu family, scattered paper money along the way, taking on strenuous tasks.

Only Xu Qing dared to press the coffin with a black cat; if it were anyone else, the corpse inside might not resist popping out for some fun!

"Old Lu, where are you heading?"

The group reached the village, yet to exit, they encountered someone stopping the cow cart.

Old Lu recognized the man as Lai Yong, who had prior business dealings with his family.

"To send my son Chunsheng for his final journey." The old Lu couldn't conceal grief in his words.

"Hold on a moment!" Lai Yong raised his brows, stopping the cart and speaking firmly in front of the villagers, "Chunsheng owed me ten taels of silver earlier. While Chunsheng may not be around, that debt still needs settling!"

"Who isn't living? Don't be upset, old man. If I don't raise this issue today, it might be tough to collect after Chunsheng's matters are settled."

At the front of the cow cart, Xu Qing's gaze spotted Lai Yong, who had a large mole near his eye. Covered in acne, short arms, and a stocky frame, whenever he spoke, the eye with the mole blinked incessantly, like one with epilepsy.

This face surely signals trouble, yet how did Lu Chunsheng dare venture to the cliff's edge with him?

Old Lu was shocked, uncertain aloud, "My son was never fond of borrowing from others, let alone ten taels of silver. Could you be mistaken?"

"Are you suggesting I would cheat a dead man's money? Unlucky as it may be, I find it distasteful!"

Nearby villagers, disliking Lai Yong's antics, chimed in, "Old man, don't believe his nonsense. This Lai frequently loiters in gambling dens, heading to the county with money, hiding back in the village when penniless, surely pulling a trick to con some gambling money."

"What utter bullshit! It's commonly said that debts must be repaid, rightfully. His family owes me money, what does my gambling have to do with it?"

"If you keep spouting nonsense, I'll come to your home and make you repay those ten taels!"

Lai Yong cursed angrily, and seeing Old Lu trying to urge the cart to move away, he stepped quickly to block the road, adamant in not letting the funeral procession pass.

Xu Qing squinted slightly, just as Old Lu intended to intervene, he reached out, stopping the old man, saying, "Some demons are bound to be encountered during funerals, no need for you to worry about these matters. Let me deal with him."

"Are you Lai Yong?"

"Who are you?" Eyeing Xu Qing's professional funeral attire, Lai Yong realized, "You must be the Funeral Master invited by the Lu family."

"Old Lu, you've money to invite someone for a funeral, yet no money to clear a debt? I'm putting it straight today—if you don't repay the silver, this funeral just won't proceed!"

Regardless of when or where, there are always those relentless people. Xu Qing ignored his stubbornness and quietly took a tael of silver from his sleeve, saying:

"Here I have one tael of silver for my funeral services. Aren't you a gambler? Then why don't we wager? If you win, the tael of silver is yours, and I still perform the funeral services."