I Only Want to Lie Flat But Am Forced to Cultivate Immortality

In Ning County, Xu Qing and Xuan Yu traveled intermittently, occasionally inquiring about families with funerals, hoping to conduct a ritual, learn about the advanced funeral practices from other regions, and concurrently gather information about the County Magistrate, achieving two goals with one move.

Qianzhou encompasses three prefectures and seventeen counties. Although these counties and prefectures are under the same jurisdiction, the customs and cultures differ considerably.

In the northern part of Qianzhou, people prefer burials, similar to the Jin Sect.

However, in other areas of Qianzhou, most locals prefer 'cliff burials.'

Xu Qing had long heard of this funeral method but unfortunately never had the chance to visit Qianzhou and witness it firsthand.

Now he was finally fortunate to see it with his own eyes.

After visiting many households, Xu Qing finally found a family conducting a funeral in a remote village at the boundary of Ning County.

The local people were simple and honest. Upon learning that Xu Qing was an outsider and seeing him dressed in the attire of a mage, they immediately held him in high regard.

During these times, three professions were most respected: government officials, doctors, and funeral masters.

Xu Qing assisted with a ritual in the mourning hall. The family wasn't well off, having barely anything valuable except the coffin, which was perhaps the priciest possession.

"Elder, the mountain paths are treacherous, be cautious during the burial procession."

"Young sir, don't worry. Although I may not be of much help, I can certainly guide the way."

The household comprised four people: a woman in her thirties, her parents-in-law, and an eleven or twelve-year-old boy.

The deceased was the man of the house.

Xu Qing conversed with the elder outside before returning to the mourning hall and looking at the middle-aged man standing by the offering table.

This man was the local Funeral Master of Ning County. Xu Qing didn't understand the cliff burial process, so this professional had to preside over the proceedings.

"How long should the coffin remain for a cliff burial?"

"Not briefly; at least twelve days. Some remain for two months. Now that the weather is cooler, the family isn't in a rush. It generally takes over half a month. This coffin has been here for over half a month."

Intrigued, Xu Qing asked, "I've noticed most of the rituals are complete, so why remain here for so long?"

"You're from out of town, unaware of Qianzhou's climate. There's lots of rain, and venomous wildlife abound. With all the recent rain, the cliffs are slick and unscalable. Naturally, we wait. Today, the ground is dry, and people can stand on the cliff walls, so it's time to proceed with the burial."

The middle-aged man laughed, "People call us cliff burial masters 'spider-men.' See how spiders won't weave webs in the rain? They wait for the storm to pass. So do we."

What is a spider-man? Cliff burials take place in natural rock formations or steep cliff faces, where pallbearers carry the deceased and the coffin separately onto the cliff.

The cliffs are steep and treacherous. Pallbearers require climbing skills. Over time, they're called 'spider-men.'

Xu Qing humbly learned. The lean and muscular Funeral Master was friendly, answering most funeral-related inquiries with patience.

"Qianzhou's cliff burials are diverse. Let me elaborate for you..."

Xu Qing sat on a wooden stool by the mourning hall. The elder eventually brought two bowls of tea over.

The middle-aged man enthusiastically expounded while Xu Qing occasionally nodded in agreement.

About half an hour later, Xu Qing had a brand-new understanding of cliff burials.

Cliff burials involve natural cave burials, artificial cave burials, or wooden post-supported burials. Compared to the prevalent ground burials, cliff burials place the deceased's coffin on cliff edges. Yet, even this method has three categories.

The first is Hanging Coffin Burials, where coffins are placed in cliff posts or natural crevices.

The second is Cliff Cave Burials, some natural or man-made caves for storing coffins, often used for family burials.

The third is Cliff Ledge Burials, placing the coffin on a protruding mountain ledge or an artificially cut groove, supported by horizontal beams on rock layers.

With plentiful rain in Qianzhou and animals more numerous than people, to ensure remains aren't disturbed by wildlife or erosion, wealthier families often choose cliff burials.

Now, Xu Qing's host family was preparing for a 'Hanging Coffin Burial.'

"It's past noon; time to proceed with the burial."

The tall, lean Funeral Master was named Lu. Hearing his prompt, Xu Qing smiled, "If Master Lu lacks the strength, let me know. I'm young and fit enough to carry the deceased to the cliff site for you."

"How can that be!" the middle-aged man repeatedly shook his head.

Xu Qing chuckled, "Truth be told, I've longed to experience the cliff burial process. Should my own business fail one day, perhaps I'll rely on this craft to make a living in Qianzhou."

"They say colleagues are rivals, but apparently that's not entirely true." The middle-aged man sighed and thanked him, "It would be a great help, brother."

Getting his consent, Xu Qing opened the coffin to dress and recite sutras for the departed.

The deceased was also named Lu, a cliff burial master, or a so-called spider-man.

Master Lu carried the deceased for countless funeral processions, traversing cliff paths more than bridges.

Cliff burials demand physical endurance. Passing forty, Master Lu felt his stamina waning. His current age left him breathless after a few steps, making climbing unsuitable.

His wife suggested changing professions, saving the accumulated wealth to buy property in the county. Even a small business in a less desirable location would sustain them.

Heeding his wife's advice, Master Lu packed up early, intending to buy a space in the county to sell incense candles and paper money.

Coincidentally, on his way out, he met an old acquaintance from the village, Lai Yong.

Upon learning this, Lai Yong asked, "Why not inform me beforehand, Brother Lu?"

Master Lu felt puzzled, "Why, Brother Lai? What's wrong with changing jobs?"

"Ah, you don't know," Lai Yong exclaimed, "When my father passed two years ago, you personally carried him to North Cliff. But last week, during a visit, I found the cliff coffin slipping from its niche, with a broken wooden post."

"I was looking for you to handle this, but now you're changing crafts, leaving my father in unresolved grounds?"

Hearing this, Master Lu abandoned plans to go to the county. Meticulous about his own cliff burial skills, any defect before retirement would stain his reputation like an ink blot on white paper.

"That post is elm, rarely breaking. Likely the rains loosened the mud around it. It can be fixed by driving it in again with tools from home."

"Hold on! Retrieving tools is troublesome. I've got hammers and chisels at my place. Let's resolve it today without delaying your county visit."

"This..."

"The dead take precedence, didn't you always say?"

Pushed and pulled along, they ascended North Cliff.

But upon reaching the niche, Master Lu found the coffin unmoved, secure, and intact.

"Brother Lai, this coffin..."

Master Lu sensed something amiss. Before he could turn, an immense force shoved him.

Simultaneously, his bag was snatched away!

Reacting swiftly, he grabbed his bag's edge, realizing Lai Yong had taken it and pushed him!

"Let go!"

Lai Yong shouted, kicking Master Lu hard.

As fabric tore, Master Lu fell from the cliff.

Xu Qing stopped turning the pages of the Sutra of Salvation and looked at the reward.

A Dharma Artifact: Cloud Pattern Coffin.