I Only Want to Lie Flat But Am Forced to Cultivate Immortality

When people encounter joyous events, their spirits are lifted. Just yesterday, Ho Xiaosheng sold fish twice and happily earned over ten taels of silver, which made him extremely delighted.

The only slight disappointment was that he had promised Boss Yan to release the fish back into the wild, but he didn't manage to accomplish it.

However, he couldn't be blamed for that. A distinguished guest from the Capital City wanted to eat fish, how could he refuse? Even if this got out, no one would say he didn't handle things with finesse.

But Ho Xiaosheng really didn't want to give the charity silver meant for the fish release!

What kind of person is Ho Xiaosheng? He's the kind of person who puts dumplings in a teapot, someone who only ever brings in without putting anything out.

If he heard there were fish in a ditch or a pond, he'd fish them until none were left, not even sparing the small fry!

With someone like him, did you expect him to willingly return the silver meant for releasing the fish?

After all, it's two taels of silver; if he were to return the money exactly as it was, it would feel more upsetting than a fish he had caught slipping off the hook and escaping!

But if he didn't return the silver, in the future, neighbors would point fingers and say he's not decent, not classy, shameless!

So how could he keep his face and still make the silver.....

Ho Xiaosheng pondered back and forth based on his fishing experience and actually came up with a perfect solution!

That day, at Tongyue Tavern, Ho Xiaosheng tucked the silver in his bosom and walked like a nouveau riche. When he arrived at the tavern, he demanded the best food and wine.

But there was a condition: it had to be exactly two taels of silver's worth of food and wine, not a wen more. If it was a wen less, he demanded a handful of peanuts to make up for it.

The waiter didn't think much of it; at worst, he'd throw in an extra dish, thinking it could definitely cover the two taels of silver.

Ho Xiaosheng dined and drank in a private room on the second floor, unseen by others.

Outside, it was pouring rain, while inside the room, Ho Xiaosheng drank hot wine and ate an assortment of eight meats and eight vegetables, feeling as comfortable as an Immortal!

He had earned a big sum today, feeling joyous; after downing two pots of wine, by the time to settle the bill, his head was heavy, legs soft, walking unsteadily as if a leaf blown by the wind or a boat rocked by waves, floating as if already ascended.

"Sir, that'll be two taels of silver, that fish soup, consider it on the house."

"What's the rush? I just need to speak with your shopkeeper. Let me get downstairs, and I'll give the silver to him."

"The stairs are narrow, be careful not to fall!"

"Don't worry about me, I'm happy today!"

Ho Xiaosheng brushed off the waiter trying to assist him, with a flushed face, he staggered downstairs to the main hall.

At that moment, there were quite a few people taking shelter from the rain in the hall. Ho Xiaosheng glanced around and pointed randomly.

"Boss Qin, Officer Wang, Physician Zhang, and this one... don't recognize."

Seeing Ho Xiaosheng in such a state, the crowd in the hall didn't pay much attention, as there was no shortage of drunkards in the tavern, which wasn't surprising.

Ho Xiaosheng approached the counter and chatted idly with Boss Yan for a bit.

Boss Yan asked if he had released the fish, to which Ho Xiaosheng replied, "Released, released, all released."

"But I heard you sold the fish to someone else?"

Ho Xiaosheng flatly denied it: "Nonsense! Absolutely not! I sincerely released the fish; even the shopkeeper from Deshun Building offered money, and I didn't sell!"

"Really? Then where did you release them?"

"Fish were obviously released into the water, I couldn't have possibly put them on land..."

Oil, salt, boiling water, it's still water, right?

Shopkeeper Yan was half skeptical. He pondered, "Whether you're lying doesn't matter, but I must say this: these golden carps are auspicious creatures, promised to Lady Baosheng for release. Golden carps bring sons, and Lady Baosheng oversees the matters of adding children and blessings."

"If you cut off the whole school of fish, not only would you harm your own karma, it would also implicate my family..."

"That's not something humans should do!"

Ho Xiaosheng's face turned red, uncertain if it was the alcohol or the shame from these words.

He huffed and puffed for a while, then slammed the two taels of silver onto the counter, saying, "Stop with these pointless words, see for yourself, it's exactly two taels, not a wen more, not a wen less, all here!"

Boss Yan was about to speak when Ho Xiaosheng quickly left the counter. As he was leaving, he called out loudly once again.

"Two taels! Not a wen more, not a wen less, Yan, check it clearly, the gentlemen are off now!"

The waiter heard this and thought it was about the payment for the drinks, put his mind at ease, and went back to attending the guests.

Other customers, who knew of the events during the day, assumed Eagle's Beak was there to return the fish money to Boss Yan!

Meanwhile, the rain outside seemed to be slowing but still trickled lightly.

Ho Xiaosheng, dragging his ever-present fishing rod, wobbled home on cotton-soft legs.

Frequent drinkers know a truth well—alcohol is a living thing!

If you stay in the Master's Chair motionless, the alcohol works like medicine being slowly absorbed into your head. But if you get up and walk a few steps, the alcohol feels like carps somersaulting in the river, rushing through your veins straight to the temple of your organs!

While at the tavern, Ho Xiaosheng was already a bit more than lightly drunk; now as he moved outside, his drunkenness soared beyond full!

At night, the street was deserted, with only the moon reflecting in the puddles, flickering like fish scales.

Ho Xiaosheng swayed and wobbled, shaking his head homeward. The moon should have cleared the rain, but puzzlingly, shortly after stepping out, the light drizzle unexpectedly intensified.

Completely unaware in his drunken stupor, it wasn't until reaching the Vegetable Market when he heard the sound of wheels splashing through puddles behind him, approaching from afar.