I Only Want to Lie Flat But Am Forced to Cultivate Immortality

Zombies rest during the day and venture out at night. Even those who've gained strength and no longer fear sunlight still unconsciously retain this habit.

Xu Qing, this particular zombie, is also a night owl. This trait is quite similar to Xuan Yu. As they say, birds of a feather flock together.

Yet, this same zombie has recently been extremely busy, working day and night. No matter if it's day or night, Xu Qing barely has time to rest. Among the zombies, Xu Qing is definitely a disruptive force to their natural order!

When Xu Qing, the leader, is busy, everyone under the Cat Immortal Hall must hustle along.

Other immortals or Galloping Immortal Disciples, seeing the Sect Leader so busy, just assume it's Xu Qing's nature. No wonder Xu Qing could become the Sect Leader.

But is that really the case?

Xu Qing, with the little Snake Demon in tow, rode on horseback, jostling along the way, almost shaking the little white snake's bones to mush.

This horse hadn't been let loose for a long time, darting madly along the road, and yet, even after a whole day of searching, Xu Qing still couldn't find a suitable temple priest candidate.

These midwives either didn't know how to assist in childbirth, or their morals were questionable. Xu Qing interviewed one after another, none truly to his liking.

The little white snake said it wasn't in a hurry. The matter of the Galloping Immortal Disciples could be delayed for months. After all, these demon creatures have long lifespans; a month is like a day to them, three to five months are just three to five days, no big deal.

But Xu Qing disagreed; three to five months of inactivity - how could that be? What if by then, Xuan Yu just needed those three to five months' worth of incense offerings?

Indeed, Xu Qing was so busy, multitasking day in and day out, all for the sake of the family cat.

When Xuan Yu and Xu Qing first met, Xuan Yu had already practiced for four hundred years. Now, after a year or two of cultivation, coupled with an excess of nutrition from gobbling down cat food daily, Xu Qing realized that Xuan Yu's five hundred year calamity wasn't far off.

At that time, the cat had heard it was about to cross a calamity, and it ran day and night for Xu Qing, clearing rat infestations for people to earn a little incense offering, and stored it up for Xu Qing's use.

Now, seeing that Xuan Yu is about to face the calamity, Xu Qing naturally had to make arrangements for it to avoid this dumb cat getting struck by lightning.

Besides planning for Xuan Yu's future, Xu Qing always worried about Xuan Yu's past.

Unfortunately, the cat never wanted to detail the specifics of when it lost a life. Xu Qing had bluntly told the cat that he's not one to hold grudges - it's just a cat's life. No way would he seek revenge!

However, that cat merely told him, "The head on my corpse was stitched the wrong way."

At the time, Xu Qing, who was arranging a condemned prisoner's burial, couldn't help but laugh.

"Here I am talking sincerely, and you tell me the head wasn't properly stitched?"

In the end, Xuan Yu never revealed the truth.

Everyone has secrets; Xu Qing harbors many too. Since Xuan Yu doesn't want to speak, he'll wait until it wants to talk.

After all, working with corpses, Xu Qing never minds being late.

In his view, even the toughest enemy will face old age someday, unable to catch a breath.

When that day comes, Xu Qing, this zombie, can make a surprise appearance, and who knows who'll win or lose.

The little white snake abandoned by midwife Liu is carefree and can't possibly understand Xu Qing's mindset.

"Little Immortal, three to five months mean nothing to you, but for me, it's a race against time..."

The little white snake listened thoughtfully.

"You're right. To humans with their short lifespans, three to five months must seem really long."

Xu Qing chuckled softly, offering no explanation.

This little white snake's understanding of him was still quite shallow. Perhaps when this Little Immortal turned into an old immortal unable to walk, it might grasp a few things.

When Xu Qing brought the arm-thick 'little white snake' back to the Funeral Shop, Xuan Yu hesitated several times to speak.

It wondered curiously, why does the Xu Immortal family always bring back something peculiar each time they go out?

Previously bringing back tigers, mice, and bugs was one thing, but yesterday Xu Qing brought back a big oaf, and today he's brought back a white snake that flickers its tongue. Xuan Yu thought if Xu Qing brought a monkey or a circus next time, it wouldn't be surprised.

To persuade the experienced midwife little white snake to stay, Xu Qing prepared a temple card in advance, though incense offerings couldn't be advanced as they were needed for other important tasks.

As for various pills, Xu Qing wasn't stingy in the least. In this regard, everyone was treated equally. After all, even the horse pulling the hearse got its share of 'sugar beans' each month.

Xu Qing's only regret was not finding a suitable midwife.

Whether in the Cat Immortal Hall or the Birth Temple, or even at his funeral shop, Xu Qing looked only for trustworthy, morally upright candidates. Without these traits, he'd rather put in extra effort and handle tasks himself.

But he really didn't want to handle childbirth.

He is a big man. If women approach the temple for assistance, it wouldn't do for him to conduct the childbirth openly. In these times, that's no joke. Even being accused of being a pervert would be a minor issue.

A woman's chastity is more precious than life itself; otherwise, the Palace's Imperial Physicians wouldn't have passed down the skill of diagnosing through silk thread.

What to do then? Except for cross-dressing, what else? He can't just stand by and do nothing.

Xu Qing contemplated that a midwife had to be found. If that didn't work, he would find a morally upright one and personally train them for the job.

...

At the end of July, the season when locusts have little jumping left in them.

Xu Qing reclined in the Master's Chair, squinting and gazing out at the street.

Indeed, sitting in the County Magistrate's chair feels different.