I Fell In Love With A Girl Who Died Before I Was Even Born

I felt my eyes growing wide.

I couldn't believe it. Shion, the actual, real Shion was here, dancing with me.

"So, you came here earlier?" I asked, trying to clarify. "You entered the Nightlands with those… potheads."

She shrugged.

"Yeah, I was with them, helping pay off some of the debt for your brace, until I realized you were here too."

She glanced once at my ankle, and then she leaned into the dance, letting herself flow with the music.

"Mhmm, you're getting better," she said.

I grinned, just enjoying Shion's company.

"How'd you do it?" I asked. "How'd you get into the Nightlands and find me?"

She grinned mischievously.

"Oh, the four of us entered about an hour ago. I, um, might've asked Nightmage to see what you were into, and he said he was surprised that you were here too. At least, you're here in dream form."

She bit her lip.

"But not me..." she teased. "I'm Shion in the flesh."

And she playfully pressed herself against me.

"And you disguised yourself?"

She gestured to a jewel around her neck.

"Just a simple perception filter. Lets me get around places I don't belong. You know. Like here."

I noticed that she hadn't pulled herself away. The lights and music swirled together around the two of us as we danced. I held Shion against me, letting myself feel our bodies moving as one.

"How long were you pretending to be Inego?" I asked. "Because you sure told me an awful lot about magic before pulling me out here to dance."

Then the lights flickered around us, and the music skipped like it was playing on a scratched CD.

I turned and saw Lana watching the two of us at the edge of the dance floor. She was pointing at Shion.

"Andy, what in the living hell is she doing here?" Lana asked. "She shouldn't be here."

Shion stepped back, her waterless eyes growing wide.

"Oh shit!" she said. "An actual kitsune!"

Lana smirked.

"Blondie, she's like a literal god here!"

Lana's arms crossed.

"Your god, Kurozawa-san," Lana spoke slowly.

She took a single step forward.

"You think you can just come here, wearing my skin, walk around this world, and you think I won't notice?"

Shion reached out to grab my hand.

Lana made a sweeping gesture with her hand. I saw Shion's mouth drop open and she turned to me, only to be brushed away as though she were made of nothing more than sleep crust stuck in the corner of my eye.

"Ryu—" was all she got out.

"No!" I screamed.

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Lana simply stood there as rage radiated off my body like waves.

"What'd you do to her?" I demanded.

Lana's shoulders dropped.

"She didn't belong here," she said. "I don't even know how she got here, stubborn bitch."

No.

I stopped my foot down.

"What'd you do?" I bellowed.

Lana crossed her arms.

Everything was quiet, like my dream was holding its breath.

"Don't test me, Ryu," Lana said, flatly. "She was somewhere she shouldn't have been. It's like when one of the kids sees Mommy and Daddy having an argument. We don't need them to see that, do we?"

I could feel my face burning.

Then I felt Yuki by my side.

Dream Yuki, but still by my side.

"Is Shion okay?" I asked Lana.

Lana pinched the bridge of her nose, annoyed.

"You'll see her soon enough. She's fine. You should be worried about what's going to happen when you wake up at the damn Asuka Clan's place."

It was my turn to cross my arms.

"Well, you're a powerful kitsune, right? Aren't you the god of this place, or do you call yourself 'kami' here?"

She narrowed her eyes at me.

"I am," she said. "I'm teaching you how magic works so you can—"

"So I can what? Erase you from existence?"

The walls of Dick's trembled around me.

"You're pushing your luck, Andy."

Our gaze locked.

Her fiery eyes stared hotly into my hollow black ones.

"Aren't I dead anyway?" I asked after a moment.

She shook her head.

"I've told you a thousand times, dumbass. You're not dead."

Then, she smiled grimly.

"Oh, I've got an idea. It's a doozy. You want to see what happened after that car hit you back in Clarksburg, West Virginia? Huh?"

I raised an eyebrow.

"You heavily implied that I died."

She just waved her hand dismissively.

"Oh, never mind that. You and your annoying vampire bitch are nothing but troublemakers. And you think you're so damn clever. Well, how about it, Andy? Let's see how clever you really are."

Somehow, I watched her face darken.

"Since you're so curious, I'll show you what happened after your car accident, and I'll let you decide for yourself whether it's true or not. Maybe if you're clever enough, you'll even figure out how to get back to Shin'yume. You in?"

I turned to Yuki, but she was dissolving.

All of Dick's was melting into a gross swirl of colors until everything was gone except for the smell of burnt grease from the kitchen and the smell of Question Mark Cola all around me.

"Andy?" I head Lana say.

I blinked and saw a half-finished meal sitting on a cafeteria tray in front of me.

"Andy, you need to finish your meal so we can begin our psychiatric appointment."

She had the same face. Same hair even.

But every last ounce of kitsune playfulness was gone. She sounded coldly clinical. Lana wasn't even Japanese anymore.

Her nametag read "Dr. Pierce".

Like none of it had ever happened.

The tray in front of me looked disgusting.

Grey-green peas. Pale, crusty mashed potatoes. A slice of something they were calling "meatloaf," but it looked like it had been chewed already. And sitting next to it all, with absolutely no shame, was a half-empty can of Coke. The red one.

What the hell?

Never in my life did I imagine I'd miss Question Mark Cola, but at least it never lied about buying the world a soda.

I looked up. The cafeteria was sterile. Bland. No banners, no signs, not even a vending machine in sight. The ceiling lights buzzed like they were angry about being awake. The floor was the color of crushed pills.

And I was alone.

Well, almost.

Across from me sat Lana.

Only she wasn't Lana. Not anymore.

Her hair was the same style, just duller without her streaks of fire. Her face? Same shape, same eyes, except her eyes didn't dance anymore. They just stared, flat and impatient.

Her name tag read "Dr. Pierce." The font was offensively Times New Roman. The little badge on her lanyard had a barcode on it like I was supposed to be inventory.

"Andy?" she asked.

I blinked, suddenly aware that she'd asked me something a moment ago, but I couldn't remember what it was.

"You were spacing out again," she said, completely deadpan.

No smirk. No wink. No teasing bite.

Just sterile, efficient syllables, the kind used by someone who files paperwork about people instead of talking to them.

"Please finish your meal," she added, rising to her feet. "You don't want to be late for our session."

My mouth felt dry.

I looked down at my food again, like maybe it had changed into something else.

Nope. Still gunk. Still trauma-colored.

It made me miss warm miso soup, fish, and rice.

Dr. Pierce had already walked away. Clipboard in one hand. Her shoes didn't even squeak—they just whispered across the floor.

"I'll see you in a few minutes, Andy," she said.

Andy.

And it stung.

Right. That's me now, huh?

I didn't respond. I just sat there, watching her disappear through a pair of double doors like she'd been swallowed whole by the institution.

Somewhere far away, I thought I heard music. Just the faintest throb of bass. Like a discotheque calling to me from behind the walls.

But here, in this cafeteria?

There was no rhythm.

There was no night.

And this was no dream.

Just this grey, awful place and a tray of food I'd never ordered in a life I never agreed to.

And I was starting to wonder if maybe I'd been crazy all along.

Sitting in the cafeteria, the familiar aches in my knees and back as I'd returned to my forty-four year old body.

Maybe I really had made it all up.

After all, who wouldn't if they were in my shoes?

Or maybe… just maybe… Lana wanted me to believe that.