I Fell In Love With A Girl Who Died Before I Was Even Born

The walk back to Crescent Moon Academy was long enough for the evening fog to start drifting through the dead mist and the embarrassment from my earlier antics with the tanuki to really start sinking in.

Azuki offered to walk with Yuki and I after the meeting.

"I've never seen Kinpachi-san so… amazed before," she said. "Truly, your story of hubris is a lesson for everyone."

Yuki laughed.

"I don't know if it's as profound as the Buddha holding a flower, but I'm glad that the tanuki enjoyed it. Clearly, Ryu, you've got an interesting cousin."

Azuki paced just ahead of me, her arms swinging like a cartoon soldier, humming some off-key version of a commercial jingle for Question Mark soda.

Yuki floated silently beside me, watching Azuki with a mix of curiosity and bemusement.

By the time the gates came into view, tall, rusted, and fashioned like twisted wisteria, I was tired again. Not in the bone-deep, soul-flattening way I'd grown used to, just the normal kind of tired, the quiet fatigue of surviving a day you hadn't rehearsed for.

Azuki spun suddenly on one foot, her skirt billowing dramatically like she was hoping for an anime-style transformation sequence.

"I can't wait for the dance tomorrow Ryu-sama," she said, grinning with her entire body. Her eyes glittered mischievously behind those enormous round glasses. "You're still taking me, right?"

I opened my mouth to answer, but before I could speak, a shadow slid over us.

It wasn't clouds.

It wasn't a bird, a plane, or even a grown man wearing his underwear over his pants.

I didn't have to see her. I felt her.

Deep in my stomach.

Sharp between my ribs. Soft and aching behind my eyes.

Murasaki. The purple princess succubus.

She was close.

Not angry. Not bitter. Not seductive or cruel. Just... present.

Somewhere too close and yet impossibly far away at the same time. Watching, maybe. Waiting.

And I knew she missed me.

God help me, there was a part of me—a dark, stubborn sliver curled up like a lazy animal in the deepest corner of my chest—that missed her too.

I didn't know what that meant.

I didn't know if it was okay. I didn't know if it should be okay.

I turned from the gate, deliberately shifting my focus to Yuki instead.

"Hey," I said softly, "do you want to hang out with Azuki again and, like, watch some more movies with her?"

Azuki perked up.

"Yes! Say no more. I'm in! Let's rent Face/Off from TapeWorm! In Shin'yume!"

Yuki brightened instantly, as if I'd offered her a cherished gift. "Yes! Totally," she said, grinning. "She's fun. Weird, sure. Kind of smells like autumn leaves and mischief. But definitely fun."

I smiled. "Yeah. She's got all that going on."

"But," Yuki added, drifting closer and raising a translucent finger like she was grading my soul, "Don't think for a second that I've forgotten what happened to you last night when I left you alone on the forest trail."

She looked at me. Her ice blue eyes burned with concern.

"That's where that… succubus attacked you, Ryu!"

I nodded, but inwardly, I was cursing.

Of course she'd remember.

"Then…" I took a breath. "Why don't you walk with me?"

Did I honestly want that? To be alone with Yuki right now? Or Murasaki?

The succubus.

Yuki, without a doubt.

She grinned at me.

"Oh, Ryu! I'd love that!"

If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

We said goodbye to Azuki and watched her bounce back towards her dorm.

The two of us began walking down the forest path towards Shin'yume-sou, and away from the lumbering gothic giant that was the grey stone of Crescent Moon Academy.

I could still feel Murasaki in the back of my mind, so I knew she was close, but I couldn't see her. I couldn't feel her vibrations through the ground either, so she must have been circling me.

But, as Yuki and I walked a little further, and I felt the evening cooling around us, I realized that there was something about this kind of quiet and peacefulness that my soul longed for more than anything else.

Then I saw the crossroads ahead.

"Fox's crossing," and I remembered Lana, her laugher, and I silently prayed that everything I was doing right then and there was real.

"Cat got your tongue, Ryu?" Yuki teased.

I tried my best to give a nonchalant shrug.

"I've got something I'd like to talk about," she said. "Well, two things actually."

Of course she did.

"Okay," I said cautiously. "Hit me."

"One," she said, tilting her head, "Skuzz and these night classes. Are you actually serious about that?"

I nodded.

"Actually, yeah. Surprisingly serious. Like, really thinking about taking him up on the public library thing. Evening classes at the Shin'yume Public Library sound like a good place to start, don't you think? When he talked about it... it honestly didn't sound terrible."

Yuki considered this, floating in a slow half-circle around me.

"It doesn't sound terrible at all. It actually sounds like a decent idea."

She shuddered.

"Even if it did come from a disgusting dirtbag like Skuzz."

She suddenly stopped, and I did too.

"Ryu, I appreciate you trying to find something for me to do."

I saw her blush a little, and she looked away.

Then, she lowered her head, letting her silvery white hair fall across her face. It was something I'd seen Shion do before, but never Yuki.

I wondered why she'd hide her face from me.

"You're not trying to get rid of me, are you?" she asked.

Without even thinking, I stepped forward and tried to put my arms around her.

Of course, Yuki was a ghost, so I failed, but she gasped when I tried, and that was the important thing.

"There's no way I'd ever try to get rid of you, Yuki," I said.

And she giggled. It was a light, merry sound, like bells ringing on a snowy night, and hearing it made me feel better even though I was already smiling.

"That's good, because I'm haunting you, Ryu," she practically sang as she floated around me. "And you know what that means, right? You're never going to get rid of me! So get used sudden snow showers. Boo!"

Then the both of us laughed, and she floated close enough to make my skin goosebump.

"Careful," I teased. "I'm being trained by an expert exorcist."

She bit her lower lip as though she was thinking.

"If you're going to help start a night school for the undead, that might come in handy. But maybe... talk to Hina Suiren again first, okay? Before you jump headfirst into the necromantic deep end."

I glanced over towards her, and she seemed to be smiling a little in the dying light.

"Yeah," I admitted. "I figured you'd say something sensible like that."

She raised another ghostly finger.

"Oh, I'm not quite finished yet. Second—this whole thing about getting me a body from the Nightlands. Do you actually have a plan, or was that just the kind of brave talk people make in front of hot vampires and their ghost roommates?"

I chuckled a little.

"Shion knows how to get there. I'm going to go with her eventually, and if I can bring you too, I will. But honestly, on my own? I have no clue. I don't even know what door to look for, or if it even is a door. They called it an Achillies Gate, but no one knows what one actually looks like. It could be a staircase hidden behind the refrigerator in the cafeteria for all I know."

Yuki nodded slowly, contemplatively.

"Still, it's something. Something's always better than nothing."

Up ahead we saw the glowing lights from the konbini, and beyond them the neon-soaked nearly-forgotten beachside city of Shin'yume.

"I'll send Azuki a text and let her know you'll be coming soon," I said to Yuki.

I took out my cell phone, and Lah Lah immediately objected.

You want me to text that static nightmare of a tanuki?

I rolled my eyes.

"I'll never understand your obsession with that plastic box. It reminds me of a Barbie accessory, but you treat it like it's precious gold," Yuki said, gesturing to my cell.

Finally, Lah Lah sent the text.

Then I got a reply.

"H3y Yuk1! 1 can't w4it t0 w47ch m0v1es with U! 4nd Ryu 7o0, 0bv1ou5ly, 1f h3 w4n75 t0 c0me3. H3's w3lc0m3."

I stared at Azuki's text and felt myself growing angry.

Do you need me to translate for you? I'll do my best to interpret this "l33t speek" garbage text from the raccoon.

I told Lah Lah no. Then I asked Azuki if she could try to send a normal text.

"LOL! Shion was right! You are a nerd, Ryu-sama. <3 :-* JK!"

I laughed. Then she send another.

"But you REALLY are invited. And I promise, I can turn into a really comfy pillow! I'll prove it if you doesn't believe me!"

I blinked, feeling the warmth rising in my cheeks as I shared the text with Yuki.

"…Was she flirting with me?"

Yuki smirked, clearly amused.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure she was."

Then Yuki's expression quietly softened.

"Azuki can touch me, you know."

I heard the sound of a dove from somewhere deep in the forest.

"I know," I said carefully, suddenly feeling a nervous flutter in my chest.

Yuki floated in front of me.

"No, I mean she can actually touch me." Yuki leaned closer, her eyes bright and earnest. "Think about that for a minute."

I did. I tried not to. I failed miserably.

"She's a shape-shifter, Ryu," Yuki whispered, a hopeful note creeping into her voice.

My brain finally caught up. "…Wait, you mean—"

Yuki nodded earnestly.

"What if she took on my shape? And then I could, maybe, inhabit her body? Just for a little while?"

I took a sharp breath, the reality of that circling my brain and making me feel dizzy with possibilities.

"Ryu… She brought it up, and I can't stop thinking about it! We wouldn't have to wait for you to go to the Nightlands!"

I stared at her, mouth slightly open, processing.

"You mean, tomorrow, you could actually dance with me?"

Yuki's smile split into pure radiant joy, lighting her face brighter than the morning sun.

"Would you like that?"

"Yes!" I practically shouted, my heart leaping in my chest. "I'd love to dance with you."

She twirled around in a buoyant circle, throwing her arms skyward, silver hair spinning wildly.

"YEEEEEEE!!!!"

Tiny snowflakes blossomed from the air around us, drifting gently onto my shoulders, my nose, the grass beneath our feet.

And I laughed—really laughed.

For a second, everything felt perfect.

But then I felt her again.

Murasaki.

Close. Watching. Like the gentle, dark curve of a shadow sliding silently across your name.

And this time… I felt the pull towards her from deep within my chest even as I felt Yuki's gentle winter cold.