I Became the Mother of His Child

Chapter 182: Don't Want Chapter Title 2



"Jingjing, Si Ya!" Xu Xiuxiu's breathing immediately became much heavier when she saw this, "You have to listen to your Big Sister, you can't marry him, do you understand? You will ruin yourself. That man is just rotten to the core, his roots, his soul, are filthy. There's no need to gamble with your own life. Just because a dog bites you, do you have to marry a dog? Listen to me, get an abortion. It's not worth sacrificing your entire life for something as uncertain as a sprout, otherwise, you might not be the only one to suffer later on. Even if he were to be born, he may not be happy. Can you really face a child all the time who is the source of your life's suffering? You can't! Maybe at first, you think you can, you think maternal love can encompass everything, but believe me, you are wrong. All feelings are gradually worn down by time, except for hatred. Hatred only grows with time. It's like a tumor. If you don't eradicate it from the start, it will only become more painful later on."

Xu Xiuxiu, somewhat emotional, looked anxiously at Xu Jingjing, fearing she wouldn't take her advice to heart. She was all too aware that once that girl married, once she compromised because of the child, that could mark the beginning of her suffering. Judging by that man's audacity to defile her, he was the epitome of trash, and you can't expect trash to one day stop being trash; that'd be foolish.

"As someone who has been through it all, I can honestly tell you that if a marriage is a tragedy from the start, then you can't hold onto any expectations. Do as I say, okay? Let's go get an abortion. After the abortion, you can start over; you won't have to marry that scum. After the New Year, I'll take you to Z City. You can leave this place and never come back. There's still so much ahead of you. Please don't do something as foolish as feeling your way through the river by groping for stones. As for that man... I won't let him off easily. He will pay a price." Xu Xiuxiu clenched her teeth thinking about that man, feeling an urge to shoot him down on the spot.

"Sister, but I... I can't bear to let him go." Xu Jingjing, clutching her stomach, seemed disoriented, tears pooling in her eyes but not falling. She couldn't bear to part with the child! It was a life; how could she be so cruel, how?

"What can't you bear? Are you stupid? His existence will only make you more miserable." Xu Xiuxiu glared at Xu Jingjing in annoyance, her demands somewhat overbearing and coercive, and even viciously raised her hand to strike her shoulders several times. These blows were genuinely forceful.

It's infuriating how she can't see the situation for what it is, and it's tragic how unfortunate she is! How can she be so foolish, still reluctant to let go of the child? Hasn't she considered that the child, once born, is the real source of suffering? What's there to miss about a life born of violent assault!

"Sister... I want to have the baby." Xu Jingjing looked down and wept, in that moment resembling a wounded little animal, hesitating, struggling, in pain. Alas!

"Xu Jingjing, let me tell you, you better squash that idea right now. I'm not discussing this with you, I'm informing you, you must get an abortion, do you understand?" Xu Xiuxiu gasped for air, looking at Xu Jingjing's demeanor, her nerves suddenly twinging in pain, then she braced for Xu Jingjing to spew out some harsh retort.

She really couldn't watch Xu Jingjing walk into an abyss of no return. She wanted to save her, but she seemed to teeter between rescuing and being the one in need of rescue.

"Sister, don't force me." Xu Jingjing protested, shaking her head with a pleading tone. She was asked to kill the life in her womb; how could she possibly bear it, she just couldn't do it.

"Xu Jingjing, I have no choice but to press you to make a decision." Though Xu Xiuxiu knew she was being presumptuous, perhaps she should be gentler like Xu Jingjing towards the future, towards the little life inside. After all, having just had a child herself, to be truthful, her heart was extremely tender.

But clearly she couldn't be tender-hearted, because being tender-hearted would be cruel to Xu Jingjing. She couldn't be soft-handed, because being soft might push Xu Jingjing into the abyss. She couldn't and wouldn't stand for this girl to continue acting foolishly. She wanted to protect her, although her way might not gain her approval.

"Listen to me, Jingjing, would you consider having an abortion?" Xu Xiuxiu, seeing Xu Jingjing's state, tried to suppress her temper and speak to her gently.

"... " Xu Jingjing was in tears and did not agree.

"Xu Jingjing." Xu Xiuxiu called her, as a reminder.

"Let me think about it," Xu Jingjing choked up, her eyes swollen from crying, she spoke faintly.

Xu Xiuxiu looked at her for a long while and finally pressed down the urgency in her heart, "Alright!" Xu Xiuxiu compromised. She knew that Xu Jingjing had probably been hesitating and in pain for a long time, and pressuring her now might be completely useless; she could only wait for her to come around.

"Sister, let me see the Little Baby! Second sister said you had boy and girl twins, right? I've never seen boy and girl twins before! Let me hold them and marvel at them!" Xu Jingjing, wiping the tears from her face, then gazed longingly and with a forced smile at the two children in the wooden bed.

Xu Xiuxiu looked at Xu Jingjing, then turned and gently lifted the quietly sleeping Little Moon into Xu Jingjing's arms, "This is the brother, Little Moon. Hold him and see, he's very well-behaved. Support his head and bottom with your hands." Xu Xiuxiu instructed, correcting Xu Jingjing's position.

"Okay!" Xu Jingjing's hands trembled as she held the child, looking at the little one in his swaddle, watching his eyes closed, his little mouth occasionally moving, and then she burst out laughing through her tears—all the pain dissipated with the child's presence: "Sister, is Little Moon a nickname? Oh my! How can Little Moon be so ugly!" Xu Jingjing said the exact opposite of what she meant, sparkling-eyed, as it was a local custom to speak ironically when praising a newborn—you couldn't directly compliment their appearance. After teasing Little Moon, she watched the little guy sleep innocently, and Xu Jingjing's restless heart involuntarily softened. She gently touched the baby's cheek with her hand and couldn't help lifting the corners of her mouth into a smile.

If she had a child, would her child be this small, this cute?

"Mmm! He has grown quite a bit these past few days, and since he took more nutrients from his sister in the womb, Little Moon is doing much better than his sister," Xu Xiuxiu nodded, looking at the Little Moon in Xu Jingjing's arms. The little one's face was no longer the birth-red of newborns, and having shed his monkey-like newborn appearance, he indeed appeared to have grown quite a bit.

"Our little niece isn't too bad either! She's even uglier than her brother Little Moon!" Xu Jingjing looked up at Xu Xiuxiu's baby girl in her arms with a soft smile on her lips.

Pfft! Although Xu Xiuxiu knew that it was the local custom to say the opposite when praising children, she really wasn't used to it. Seeing Xu Jingjing do it so smoothly, she couldn't help but burst into laughter.


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