I Became Artemis’ Boyfriend

Recently, amidst the tumultuous days at the Temple of Artemis, an unusual peace had finally descended.

It was undoubtedly the brief but sweet serenity I had earned by completing my first of the Twelve Labors.

Having finished my treatment, I am now strolling around the temple grounds.

The female priestesses, their faces beaming with smiles, have laid out a picnic at the rear of the temple and are enjoying it after a long time.

Butterflies quietly dance among the flower gardens that they have tenderly nurtured.

Birds gather on the clotheslines, chirping to each other as they touch beaks.

It’s been so long since animals last visited the Temple of Artemis just to play.

And how about the priestesses’ laughter?

“Peace indeed. Yet this peace won’t last long, I imagine.”

“Ark! Where are you? Ark! Come out quickly!! ……YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK!!!!!!!!!!!!”

The fiery-tempered goddess, unable to contain her frustration, quickly lost her temper and shouted.

Startled by the noise, the birds flapped their wings and flew high into the sky, while the priestesses and butterflies disappeared like moles, hiding somewhere out of sight.

“Huh… my mouth got me in trouble.”

As I walked towards the main gate along the wall, Artemis was looking around furiously as if she were playing hide and seek, searching for me with a burning gaze.

Approaching her would surely lead to more trouble.

What can I do, though? The longer I delay, the more she’ll nag me.

Better to get this over with.

“Hey~ Artemis.”

“Hey! Where were you, …wha, what? Hey? HEY? And Artemis? Where’s the honorific? Do you want to die?”

She stomped towards me, pulling her right leg back.

And here we go: her trademark shin-kicking stance, present without fail every day.

But alas, it no longer hurts.

“Yeah, labor reward.”

“Ugh!”

The motion of her foot stopped suddenly mid-air, lost its target, and withdrew back to its original position.

Although the goddess may assign the Twelve Labors, technically I’m fulfilling Zeus’s tasks.

Harming the challenger of the Labors might invite some unknown calamity.

Disrespecting a goddess is my hard-earned right.

Which means Artemis can only clench and tremble her fists in anger and frustration.

“Grr… do you really expect to survive while treating me with such contempt?”

Seeing the hotheaded, violent goddess being unable to retaliate stirred my sadistic urge, leading to an uncontrollable impulse to tease her further.

This is strangely fun.

Shall I test her patience a bit more?

“Artemis is too long to say. Let’s abbreviate it.”

“Who gave you permission?”

“Artemis, shortened to Arte… how about Ath?”

“Don’t rush the story!”

“Ah, but doesn’t ‘Ath’ sound like ‘trash mouth’?”

“Ah, ah, trash mouth?”

Artemis gaped at me, shocked beyond belief.

After all, who in their right mind would dare to speak so irreverently in front of a goddess?

Conversely, it means she has no tolerance for this kind of provocation, making her completely vulnerable to such attacks.

With every emotional expression fully displayed on her face,

I find myself getting dangerously addicted to teasing her, quite separate from any affection I might have for her.

“Hooh, hooh!”

Trash mouth.

As improvised as the nickname may be, it strangely fits her.

“Ugh…”

Artemis finally lowered her head, tears welling up, seemingly unable to bear my mockery any longer.

I can’t back down now.

To deliver the final blow, I moved closer to her and crouched down.

Then, smiling slyly, I lifted my gaze to meet her hidden face.

“Huh? Are you crying? You’re really crying, kid! Hahaha!”

I pointed at her tear-streaked face and mocked her.

“Hey, everyone! Look at Artemis! She pretends to be tough but turns out to be the biggest… crybaby, huh?”

“Grrrrr…”

Suddenly, the ground began to quake and the surrounding area started to tremble.

The shaking grew stronger, causing the world to sway up and down.

A few shallow-rooted trees tumbled down, and a calm river surged, flooding its banks.

Boom! Boom! Boom!

The surrounding city sounded emergency bells all at once.

But this was no earthquake.

It was merely the tremor transferred from Artemis’s body, shaking violently in fury, acting as a lightning rod for her wrath.

In this situation, any decent man would probably say,

“Artemis madam, please calm down. Wouldn’t it be better to resolve this through dialogue?”

And surely, Zeus or the other gods would have indulged and coddled this stubborn side of Artemis.

But I am no ordinary man.

Seeing this as good fortune, I immediately lay flat on my back.

“Ah~ Ah~ How refreshing. Shaking ground, this is literally a massage chair, isn’t it?!”

“…!”

Despite experiencing the wrath of the gods before his eyes, Ark didn’t flinch even once.

Instead, he used the fury as a therapeutic tool and enjoyed it, which caused Artemis’s bloodshot eyes to redden further.

Grrrrrr…

The ground shook even more violently.

A magnitude strong enough to make the temple, which never wavered, sway.

“Ah, it’s refreshing. Do it a little harder. The tense muscle knots aren’t loosening yet.”

Pfft!

With my final insult, her patience snapped.

“Die!!!!!!!”

Showing her sharp fangs, Artemis pounced on me.

“I, stop this!”

I flailed my hands and feet, trying to block her approach but to no avail.

She is the goddess of Olympus after all.

Even my feeble resistance as a human meant nothing before her godly might.

She gripped both of my wrists with one hand and held my face tightly with the other, twisting my cheeks like a squeezed tomato.

Her eyes, clouded by extreme anger and humiliation, had lost all focus.

She then began to laugh maniacally, revealing her teeth.

“Uh, uhuh, hahaha!”

“Na, na… I’m a challenger of the Labors.”

In the presence of her Zeus-like, oppressive, and terrifying aura, I involuntarily addressed her respectfully.

“Like I care!”

“I… I will get cursed if you harm me!”

“Heh, curses? …Punishment. Right, this is punishment. Punishing an impudent priest who disrespected a goddess.”

Artemis muttering to herself as if to justify my punishment seemed more like her rationalizing it to herself for her own benefit.

Smiling eerily, she showed fangs that only savage beasts should possess.

“Get a hold of yourself, will you!”

“Yup, punishment. Punishment. Punishmentpunishmentpunishment. So… die!!!”

“That’s not punishment, that’s execution!”

Climbing onto my chest, she bent forward.

Her lips aimed for my head.

Her menacing fangs finally bit into it.

“Urgh! Are you some kind of zombie or what?!”

“Ugh… this is pun…ishment…”

Treating my head like a hard fruit, she continued to gnaw on it, turning it this way and that.

What the heck is she doing?

If she’s going to bite, wouldn’t it normally be at the nape of the neck?

Even then, it might have felt kind of sweet despite the pain!

You certainly can’t call this adorable.

“Ah, I get it. Let’s negotiate then!”

“Negotiation?!”

Artemis, excited at finding a way out, lifted her face from my head.

Her immediate regaining of sanity after realizing it could go in her favor was cunning to say the least.

“Hm~ Although I didn’t punish you specifically for negotiation purposes, since you’re asking so earnestly, Ark, I’ll agree to negotiate.”

Now that you’ve shown me all your ugly sides, how does maintaining your dignity even enter into things?

At the very least, removing the pieces of my hair stuck to your lips would have been better.

Ugh… damn it. If this leaves a bump on my head, just wait and see.

I smoothed out my disheveled hair and stood up.

“Huff~”

In fact, there was a reason I had been aggressively teasing her.

I wanted to extract a promise from Artemis, specifically about the meticulous strategy she showcased during my first Labor.

Everyone remembers it.

Right at the start of the Labor, she dumped a mountain of paperwork and bow maintenance tasks on me, making me lose a lot of time.

Though I did my best to act tough, it was a fatally effective strategy that hit my weak spots.

What if she loads up a year’s worth of work on me during the second Labor?

Not fulfilling assigned tasks or being inactive is a surefire way to get dismissed as a priest, and therefore out of the question.

That would mean failing before even trying, running out of time.

“So, what do you want to negotiate about?”

Artemis, standing at an angle with her arms crossed, surveyed me.

“As soon as the Labor starts, prohibit assigning me any priestly duties.”

“Huh? Why should I? Wait till you see what I’ll pile on you for the second Labor – ten years’ worth of work!”

She was certainly preparing an effective retaliation, just as I had feared.

But my forthcoming offer would be quite tempting.

“If you accept my suggestion, I’ll minimize my disrespectful speech towards you.”

“Really?”

“Of course, casually between us. And as always, with proper formality in official settings.”

“Hmph… tsk, snort~”

Artemis made a face, like a poker player dealt the desired card and trying hard not to laugh.

Three days have passed since completing the first Labor.

During that time, I’ve consistently spoken to her without using honorifics, wherever and whenever possible.

She ignored it when we were alone, but if there were other believers or citizens around, she wouldn’t tolerate it.

With her sense of self-respect, she detested being disrespected by her priest in front of her followers.

Unable to explain the nature of the Labors to them, it must have been utterly mortifying for her.

Eventually, it felt like she was even actively avoiding me.

That shouldn’t happen.

The reason I use improper speech to get closer is because seeing less of her would defeat the purpose.

“Ugh, fine. It’s a loss for me, but I’ll kindly show special favor to my subordinate priest. There’s no one like me, right?”

Artemis beat her chest proudly, inflating her ego.

Seeing her quickly switch from a tearful crybaby to a self-congratulatory mood, I had mixed feelings.

I was both amused and annoyed.

“Priestly duties during the Labor should be dealt with before or after, and we should clearly distinguish between public and private matters. Agree?”

“Yeah.”

Without hesitation, we clasped hands.

Shaking them up and down firmly, we made a small private agreement just between us.

“But, you haven’t told me why you called me earlier.”

“Oh, that’s right, almost forgot!”

Clapping her hands together, Artemis suddenly remembered.

Then, for some reason, her mood soured, and she kicked me in the shin.

“Yikes! Why’d you kick me!”

“There are kids around. Respect!”

She nodded towards the working priestesses behind us.

“Tch, I hate this pretense. Let’s cancel the negotiation… uh!”

Whack! Whack!

She rapidly delivered two consecutive shin kicks.

“Alright, alright! Mistress Artemis.”

“Hmph!”

“Ho, ho, ho.”

Why does the sight of her pouting, turning her head away, look so endearing?

It’s a shame about the informal talk, but time is on my side. We can work on it bit by bit.

Just the fact that we’ve grown closer in some small way brings me great joy and satisfaction.

I must really have fallen for her hard.

“So? What business did you have?”

I finally asked again why she was looking for me.

She too seemed to have forgotten, as she clapped her hands and handed me a letter.

“Ark, you’ve received a letter.”

“What kind of letter?”

“Conscription notice.”

…Eh?

A conscription notice… g, going into the military?!?!

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