NOVEL NEXT Side Story 3
Side Story 3
Side Story. One Miracle and Two Funerals (3)
“…Let’s go back now. If we stay like this, we’ll cause trouble.”
Jaesung, who had been anxiously searching for the time bomb-like guy who had disappeared, found Jae-young at the place he had come up to just in case, and helped him up.
Good looks, wealth, and a solid future. He had everything, so ordinary omegas would probably line up for him, but why did he have to like such a person? Jaesung wondered if he had no intention of taking the easy path.
“You wouldn’t want to cause a commotion at that person’s final journey, would you?”
“…Right. I guess not.”
Still, that feeling was keeping him from the worst-case scenario, so for now, they had to use even that. Jaesung tried to persuade Jae-young, saying it was for Seung-hyun’s sake.
“I know it’s hard, but don’t do this here. Even the chief mourner is holding it together, so you shouldn’t…”
“Then where can I cry?”
Rationally, he knew he shouldn’t cry here, but he kept feeling self-loathing, wondering where he could cry.
But he knew that no matter how long he pondered, he would end up in the same place. Jae-young stopped talking and returned home. For a few days, even his family didn’t bother him.
‘They say late-blooming love is intense, and since this was his first real relationship, the shock must be great.’
It seemed ridiculous to question why he did it over a dead person, and thinking he needed time to process his grief, they left him alone. But they couldn’t leave him like that forever.
“How long are you going to stay like this?”
It would be better if he cried or got angry. Seeing him just sitting in his room as if something had drained out of him, Mrs. Ju barged into her son’s room. Seeing his haggard face after two weeks of being out of it, she almost felt her heart soften, but only for a moment.
“Would you be like this if I died? It feels poignant and significant because it ended like this, but it’s just one of the passing relationships in life.”
“……”
“I’m tired of hearing your father whine about what to do with you. Why are all the men in this house so frustrating?”
“Honey, when did I…”
“You, get out. You’re not helping.”
Mrs. Ju shooed her husband away and made her son stand up. She couldn’t understand why he was acting like this over one romance, as if it had been such a great love.
It’s just because it seemed difficult to achieve, because it ended like this, that it feels more poignant and upsetting. In a few years, no, in a few months, wouldn’t these feelings return to normal?
“Would you be this devastated if your family died? You’ve done enough now. The living must live. Get up and get some sunlight. You liked staying at our summer house in America, didn’t you? It might be good for you to go there. No, you will go. I’ll make the reservations.”
Staying cooped up in his room was making it worse. Mrs. Ju picked up her phone and searched for flight tickets. She was determined to book it right away. As she was looking for the earliest flight, Jae-young spoke quietly.
“…You know, I’ve always thought I was a very lucky person. I was lucky enough to be born into a wealthy family, and we have good family relationships, don’t we?”
“You know that and you’re still acting like this?”
Mrs. Ju responded grumpily to the sudden remark. If he knew that, he should be taking care of his family right now. Why was he making them worry like this?
“…Honestly, there are many wealthy families with terrible relationships, aren’t there? Compared to them, or even without comparison, I’m lucky. Even now, my brothers, my sister, and even you parents are all fretting just because I’ve locked myself in my room.”
Jae-young said with a slight smile. Indeed, he was a lucky person. It’s hard enough to be born into a wealthy family, but he grew up as the youngest son with good family relationships, receiving only love from his family without any obligations.
He had always thought that way, but seeing Seung-hyun’s family made him think it even more. Seung-hyun was born into a good house but didn’t have a good family.
“So I had this… imagination of wanting to be a good family for him.”
Even if it wasn’t a very specific thought, he wanted to be by his side. Seung-hyun probably didn’t have much attachment to his current family, but that didn’t mean he disliked family love.
Since family doesn’t have to be tied by blood, and since he felt he could spend a lifetime with Seung-hyun, he had imagined such things.
“…As you said, Mother, it might feel more poignant because it’s a relationship that didn’t end properly.”
“……”
“If I hadn’t heard that story, would it have been a little better? No, it probably wouldn’t have made much difference… but I can’t help imagining more.”
If he hadn’t known about the child, he wouldn’t have had any reason to imagine what that child might have looked like. Even knowing that the chances of an alpha giving birth are extremely low, he wouldn’t have had any reason to imagine Seung-hyun smiling while holding the hand of a child that looked half like him and half like Seung-hyun.
During the time he was locked in his room, the imagination of becoming a family gradually became more concrete. The imagination became so detailed that he almost wanted to be trapped in that dream, making it difficult for him to go outside.
“…Han Seung-hyun was pregnant.”
“!!!”
Mrs. Ju was so shocked that she dropped the phone she was holding. It’s certainly shocking news. But it had been a long time since he had seen his mother’s face so surprised. Jae-young smiled slightly and continued his story.
“He didn’t know. That’s a relief, I guess. His heart was already heavy enough, at least that… it’s fortunate that he never knew until the end. Really.”
Jae-young knew he couldn’t stay like this forever, even though he didn’t want to return to reality. But he didn’t have the confidence to do it on his own.
“I know it’s stupid. I know it’s all pointless now. But… I can’t help not being okay.”
The tears he had been holding back finally rolled down his cheeks. Was this how Seung-hyun felt? Knowing that nothing could be changed, but repeatedly imagining a future that could have been his, and getting hurt by those very imaginings.
“Everyone says I should just forget, but… what should I do if I don’t want to forget? He probably wouldn’t want me to be like this either, but… I’m not okay.”
“……”
“Would it have been better if I had let it all out there? Because I’m not his family, because I’m the only one who knows, I couldn’t do anything.”
Mrs. Ju, watching Jae-young drop tears, sighed deeply. It was a problem from the start that he fell for Seung-hyun out of all the people in the world, but there were even bigger problems tangled between them.
“…How many people know about the child?”
“There’s no chance it will get out, so don’t worry.”
Of course, that’s the first thing she asks about. Was it really a child that no one would have welcomed? Jae-young smiled bitterly. He picked up the fallen phone, handed it to his mother, and said quietly.
“I’ll go to America, or wherever. I can’t stay here any longer either. I don’t want to be in Korea for a while.”
He didn’t care if it seemed like he was being pushed out. Right now, being anywhere only reminded him of Seung-hyun and made him miserable. He wanted to go somewhere without memories of him.
It wouldn’t make him forget, but he wanted to make some kind of change. Hoping that the saying “time heals all wounds” wasn’t wrong, Jae-young saw his mother out.
She would surely make it possible for Jae-young to leave Korea within a few days. He started organizing things he needed to take, so he could leave as soon as his luggage was packed.
Everything else was at the summer house, and he could buy things there, so just the essentials. First, he found his passport and opened it. There weren’t many pages left, but it didn’t matter since he probably wouldn’t travel much more while staying at the summer house.
‘I’ve traveled a lot.’
As he flipped through the pages one by one, he realized how much he had traveled. Especially until a few years ago, he had traveled frequently, almost taking a plane whenever he got bored.
Recalling pleasant memories of what happened on each trip as he looked at each page, he felt his mood lifting a little. However, as he got to the later pages, even that became impossible.
The trip he took with Seung-hyun a few months ago. Jae-young remained stuck on the page with that record for a long time, lost in thought.
It was a trip full of only joyful memories, but looking back now, it hurt as much as it had been happy.
What did Seung-hyun think when he heard about going to the American summer house together when summer came? Jae-young couldn’t find an answer and closed the passport, putting it in his bag. He wanted to leave this place as soon as possible.