I Became a Malicious Streamer

Life before and after becoming I Ji-eun. If I had to choose between the two lives, I’d choose the latter without hesitation.

There are various reasons such as youth, appearance, and economic conditions, but the biggest reason is the environment surrounding me, filled with people, leaving no room for loneliness.

In my previous life, I didn’t feel lonely, even though I had few friends and kept a distance from others. Looking back now, it feels more like I became numb as time passed rather than not feeling lonely.

An emotionless, robotic life where nothing excites me anymore.

Now that I meet people, experience many things, and my reactions are richer, I can’t go back to that time even if I wanted to.

I don’t know who turned me into I Ji-eun, but I can confidently say that I’m very satisfied now.

I’d rate it 4.9 out of 5 stars. That’s a pretty high score.

The 0.1 points deducted come from a slight disappointment I’ve felt since getting this body.

It’s not because of the huge breasts that always weigh on my shoulders or because of the monthly visit from Aunt Flo.

Breasts are part of appearance, and I believe I’ve benefited greatly from my looks. I won’t deny that.

Similarly, becoming a woman means dealing with periods, something unavoidable. I don’t have such a immature mindset to whine about natural bodily responses. I have to acknowledge what I must.

So, what is it? What small regret do I have in this seemingly perfect life?

Is it the burdensome attention that always follows? Or the occasional bothersome negative comments? Nope!

The thing I feel regret about is the absence of a boyfriend.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m not talking about a boyfriend in the way you think. I’m still grappling with my new body’s identity, so I haven’t thought about dating anyone yet.

By now, you’ve probably picked up on it. That’s right. I’m talking about a male friend.

In other words, a guy friend. Shortened to 남사친 (namsachin).

Does it really have to be a guy? Can’t you just hang out with your new female friends like Ryuah or Si-young? – I have considered that.*

However, since they are ‘real’ women, there’s a slight discomfort in interacting with them. I might adapt to life as a woman over time, but for now, they’re not as easygoing as my friends from my days as a man.

There are plenty of guys around, but that doesn’t mean I can befriend just any guy.

Being excessively beautiful, I can earn goodwill from anyone, but that comes with its own set of side effects.

Getting talked behind my back by jealous women… or guys who have no interest in me suddenly seeing me as a potential girlfriend…

For the former, I can just ignore it, and the latter isn’t something I can’t understand. After all, haven’t I had similar experiences? I used to secretly crush on the pretty girl in class, even if we didn’t know each other or talked much.

I kept nurturing my feelings for her on my own, only for it to fade naturally when grades changed and we were in different classes.

Why did I have a crush on that girl back then, and why do guys see me as a dating target now? We didn’t even have that close of a relationship.

The reason is simple. It’s because I’m pretty. There’s no way there wouldn’t be wars over pretty girls. Looks are a major factor that influences people.

Yes, I know. There’s nothing I can do about it. It’s perfectly normal for a guy to like I Ji-eun (24) based on her looks and let hormones kick in.

So, did that make me give up? No. I haven’t given up. I’m still looking. I want someone who understands my uncle-like emotions, can chat with me about silly topics for 1-2 hours, and hang out at PC bangs, bowling alleys, and pool halls without having romantic feelings.

I thought of the guys around me and narrowed down the candidates.

1. Bang Hyeongjae and Kang Seonghun, who do league commentary together.

We share a common interest in the EOW League, and our personalities don’t seem to clash much, but both have girlfriends and can’t spend time with me. They both set clear boundaries, not wanting to be misunderstood by their girlfriends. I don’t want to be grabbed by some random girl either.

Reject.

2. Tex.

Due to the EOW streamer competition, we’ve become acquainted and have met several times, getting close enough to joke around with each other. He was a strong candidate until recently when he got a girlfriend named Papi Joah. I have no intention of stepping into a couple’s quarrels, especially not wanting to see my cooking teacher Papi Joah glaring at me.

Rejected for the same reason as number one.

3. Cheolwoo.

Like Tex, we have teamed up for games and have gotten to know each other through several meetings. He has no girlfriend or wife, so there are no restrictions with him. However, it’s not going to be a playful back-and-forth. I want a relationship where we can joke around freely, but I can’t picture that with Cheolwoo. Even if we hang out, the vibe is likely to be, “Look, the young guy is playing with an old man.”

Rejected for that reason.

4. Director Jacky.

Getting married soon.

Rejected.

5. O Daesik.

He has a decent sense of humor and shares a sense of kinship as a streamer. He’s my second disciple, as he once received a crash course from me. He seemed to be upfront about being burdened by me at first, but we’ve developed enough contact that he can talk back to me now.

Still, it’s not quite a playful back-and-forth; it’s more of a one-sided punching bag situation for now.

Well… maybe it could be solved if Daesik treated me a little more comfortably? What if I tell him he’s free to curse at me? It’s still a bit awkward to call each other friends, but there’s potential. It’s worth investing some time.

He might develop feelings for me, but if I draw a line right from the start, it should be alright. I can just say, “I don’t intend to date you.” It sounds a bit absurd, but it would be the safest route.

If Daesik crosses that line and confesses later… then I’ll just find another friend, right? What can I do?

After pondering over various elements again and again, the conclusion was…

O Daesik barely made the cut.

“Is it just Daesik?”

I felt a twinge of disappointment at having only one option, yet I was also grateful to have found at least one friend.

Now that I’ve decided to be friends with O Daesik, what do I do next?

I might make him feel pressured if I suddenly set up an appointment. Should I suggest doing a collaboration stream?

While I was briefly mulling it over…

– O Daesik: SOS.

Speak of the devil! A message popped up on Discord.

The content was about whether I could help him climb the EOW rank. He’d been in a slump and his tier had dropped significantly.

“What perfect timing.”

There was no reason to refuse.

*

O Daesik found Mollru to be a completely new type of person.

Starting from her bizarre looks and her beautiful voice, all the way to her impressive gaming skills that are almost too good for someone with such an odd personality; she was beyond comprehension.

The conclusion Daesik had drawn, that he couldn’t understand her, was unfolding in real-time.

“You really showed up?”

“Yeah, why would I show up fake?”

She answered nonchalantly, but that wasn’t the question Daesik was asking.

He wanted to know if she had really just come over without enough planning and if her schedule was alright. Was it okay to just jump into this without setting any plans beforehand?

But those worries faded away with Mollru’s next statement.

“I’ve hosted your stream, Daesik. Everyone will flock there.”

“Huh?”

Mollru said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Daesik began to think deeply.

‘Is this the big corporation style of directing traffic to their users?’

Mollru, who maintains the number one position in Korean viewership on Switch, seemed to be planning to direct all her viewers to Daesik’s stream today, for reasons unknown. He contemplated whether that was her usual collaboration style but didn’t think much more of it.

Regardless, it was good news for Daesik.

As Daesik began to change his perspective of Mollru to ‘strange but good person’, she casually dropped another bombshell.

“Seems like you found some time for me. What were you up to?”

“Um, is it okay to say?”

“Was that too rude a question? If it’s something you prefer to skip, we can drop it.”

“No, it’s nothing weird… I was just thinking of you, Daesik.”

She threw a bomb into the conversation.

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