I Am Overpowered And A Comedian In Another World

Jack gave me some pointers about life. About how to live it.

The problem? He was already dead.

A man who lost his life was giving me pointers on it.

It was as if a fifty year old fat male teacher was teaching students about reproduction while having an erection which he got from the diagram in the book.

Jack told me there was only one rule in life and that was to keep levelling up.

I would have agreed to him since I have a system now but this bastard said that under the context of horniness. By levelling up he meant to pound on your girlfriend's mother if the girlfriend refuses!

Moreover, he said all that with full conviction as if he preached about why we should save trees and lesbians.

I wanted to scold him, shout at him but the situation wasn't making me do that.

Right now, more than fifty guards on fire were roaming around like zombies and call girls around a luxury car and I had to pass through them without touching them in this narrow corridor.

But I had to carry Jack's dead body along with me and because of that, I wasn't able to see my surroundings all that well. So for that, I asked Jack to be my eyes and instead of giving me directions, this bastard was giving me ideas for trespassing others' homes and some other fuckeries.

"Jack, please. Be serious. Joke all you want after we leave this corridor. Just for now, be my pathfinder."

I summoned all the beggar vibes I could manage and also garnished it with a few sparks of brotherly plea.

I really wanted to leave this hell hole and Jack should become my eyes for an efficient and safe way to escape.

After my request, Jack went silent and I couldn't see what kind of face he made but the manner of speech gave his expressions away.

"You don't have to beg that hard, pal. You are not in the streets anymore. You are safe. You are with me now."

"I was never in the streets! And being with you isn't safe at all. You are in jail for sexual assault. If anything, you are the most dangerous one out here!"

"Just because you got to see me naked doesn't mean I am characterless, pal."

"I got to see you naked? You stripped yourself, bastard! What is wrong with you?"

"Let's not go into details like an annoying kid refusing to come into my home, pal. We have wasted enough time already."

"Dude, please stop mentioning kids. Especially you. You have the face of a human trafficker. Police will catch you even if you went out to buy bread."

"You are the last person to comment about faces, pal. You look like you pose as a laundry man to steal panties."

"Da fuck? How dare you say that? I never posed as a laundry man in my life."

[ … Why are you only denying the laundry man part? ]

"Well… I was a lonely you—"

[ Alright. Don't answer that. ]

"Pal," Jack said, his voice carrying the same seriousness as before. "You may not like to admit it, but you and I are the same. We both are too gone to be healed."

"Like hell! You are way lower than me. I haven't stooped as low as you."

"So you are saying you are degenerate but not as much as me."

"Yes."

"I see. Then I have to work hard."

"Work hard? For what? To come to my level of degeneracy?"

"No. To make you come to mine."

Motherfuc—

Wait..

"Shit. Focus, Jack. Johnson might be returning with water any moment now. Start telling me the way. We can argue all we want later!"

"Damn. I forgot about it. Alright, first tell me this, from which you want to be safe? Fire or Johnson?"

"Both!" I yelled.

"But," I added. "Johnson is the priority. I am willing to burn but not get in the hands of that guy. He would do things to me that I never experienced and I am afraid I would end up liking them. I am afraid he would make me un-straight!"

"I see. Noted. You want to be safe from fire and I will make sure that happens. But if Johnson arrived before that, I will send you straight to his arms myself. Is that right?"

"Yes. Wait—What? No! Why the hell will you send me to his arms?"

"Because I like the cuckold genre."

This bish.

"I am not helping you see a custom porn video, you sick fuck. If Johnson arrives, I will leave your body and hug a burning guard myself. And besides, the fire on your body is already increasing. Keep wasting time and you can see your body turning to ashes."

I say that but there was no sign of his dead body rotting or turning into ash. It was just burning. And the fire on it was spreading as slowly as a guy losing internet mid-porn and trying to spiritually finish from his memory.

However, Jack doesn't need to know that and my empty threat like silicon breasts worked.

"Don't do it, pal. I'll help you. Just keep my body safe until we find a source of water. If we don't find it then you can urinate on it. Actually, yes, urinate on it. Water will be hard to find and if you shower on it then one thing from my bucket list would be crossed too."

His voice was finally filled with worry. But…

"Da hell? What kind of bucket list is that? That's just straight out an underrated genre of hentai!"

"Don't sweat over it, pal. Jus— Wait. Sweat is good too. Anghh. I always get confused between choices. What should I do?"

"Just tell me the way, dammit! I will do whatever you say only if you do your work. I will make sure your body loses its fire!"

"Yes. Yes. Get ready. Hold my body tight, don't get shy. You can dry hump it if you want. Just take the first step. Take five steps forward. There is nothing to worry about for now."

You are the reason for worrying from the start.

He finally shared some directions and I did my best to not pay any mind to his humping fetish and holding his dead body tighter, I took five steps forward.

It took me a considerable amount of time to move like that but I managed to do it anyway.

"My speed is slow because of the weight of your body. So keep that in mind too." I relayed this to Jack too.

Jack must have nodded.

"I understand. Now listen carefully," He paused for a second. "There is a guard just in front of me, he is flaying his hands wildly like an upside down cockroach or like a granny who suddenly got a nine inch inside her. He is close enough to me as his hands are passing through me."

I gulped. "What now? Where should I move then? And please refrain from giving comparisons."

"I'll try. Anyway, go to your left. Stick to the wall like my sperm whenever I go to the bathroom."

"What did I just tell you? Stop with that shit. That detail wasn't even necessary."

I shook my head and sidestepped until I reached the wall on my left.

I stuck on it and a scowl made its way on my face because of Jack's earlier comparison.

Nevertheless, it was better than being burned alive.

My left side of the body now rested on the wall like an exhausted spiderman on the sets of its 74th sequel as I waited for Jack's next command.

"Alright, pal. Now move forward. Keep moving forward until I tell you to stop. And you should be glad that these soldiers are busy saving themselves otherwise they could have attacked you hearing my directions."

"Dude, they are burning right now. The pain of fire is too much. Of course no one is paying attention to me. And if they weren't burning, they wouldn't have needed to hear your directions in the first place because they could fucking see me themselves!"

"Right. My bad. Anyway, are you moving forward or not?"

"I am. Are you not seeing it?"

"Nope."

"Wha—Why? You told me to keep moving until you tell me to stop! If you are not seeing me then how will you tell me to stop?"

"Damn. I forgot. Thanks for making me remember, pal. You are a lifesaver."

"The hell are you talking about? Don't just forget something like that. I will die! You are supposed to be a lifesaver right now."

"Come on, pal. It's just fire."

"Just fire?"

"Yeah. I mean, if you look into it, fire is just a scam created by firefighter companies to sell more fighters."

"... Just do your job, Jack. I give up."

"Never give up, pal. Never. Always give in, especially if a molester is standing behind you in a train."

"Stop talking and tell me the way, motherfucker!"

"Alright. Geez. Yes. Yes."

Jack raised his hands in surrender.

I took a deep breath and focused again.

"Now keep moving forward and I am watching you. Stop when I tell you to. Now, move!"

I began the walk and I let myself be completely controlled by Jack. I'll stop when he says and I hope he does that.

I took small steps, not covering that much ground with each step but I was making progress.

No matter how slow I was moving forward. It's just like instagram models—no matter how late they would debut on Onlyfans.

My hands were losing their sense as they were turning numb by the constant carrying of the dead body and as time went on, a familiar fear crept in my heart—Did the ghost again get lost in the guard's asses again and forget watching me?

But after taking at least seventy small steps, I was just about to yell…

"Stop!" Someone else yelled before me and I finally stopped moving.

I heaved a sigh of relief as my fear didn't come true. Jack did had eyes on me only as he shouted stop just like he said he would.

And I also caught a glimpse of the wall in front of me and that's when I felt more grateful to Jack.

If I had walked a few more steps ahead, I would have turned to toast. The wall ahead was burning. If I had stayed stuck to it, I would be dead.

"Thanks, jack." I said, relief seeping through my voice like sauce seeping from a fat's woman's mouth while sleeping.

"Oh. Yeah. Sure, pal. For what though?" Jack asked.

I frowned. "For stopping me of course."

"Huh? Oh. Right. Right. So you stopped instead. Good enough anyway."

"Instead? Who else were you stopping? Wait… you were stopping me, right?"

"Well, that was the plan, yeah. But then I saw a guard with a big bulge and as he stumbled onto a burning guard, I yelled Stop as it would be a great loss to lose him however it was too late. But hey, at least you were saved from the fire. So it's a win. Yeah!"

"..."