I Am A Table [LitRPG Isekai Progression Fantasy]

"I knew it was a good idea to teach Kurix martial arts," Griesa said as she tapped her little rat on the head, as she put the other rat into a glass jar labelled 'Jar of Non-Mechanical Properties.'

That just means a jar containing normal things…

Griesa stretched and yawned so wide her monocle almost fell off her face. "Finally, all's done! The only thing left is to upgrade this mediocre table."

You could've upgraded me without humiliating me, you know. I feel like humiliation is so unnecessary. People could be nice to each other, nothing of value would be lost, and everyone would be in a much better headspace.

[QUEST AVAILABLE: Emotional Damage (1)]

Objective: Withstand 3 humiliation attempts without feeling offended.

Reward: + 7 HP, + 3 END, + 200 EXP

Prerequisite: Have been humiliated within the last minute (You can accept this quest)

Failure: You get a 'Weak-Willed Donkey' Irremovable Status Effect.

You know, I actually appreciate the honesty. Who needs sugarcoating when you're striving for greatness? Sometimes a little direct feedback is exactly what you need to light a fire under you. It's just a bit of healthy motivation, really.

"Hmm, let's see," Griesa mused, her monocle now firmly back in place. She began running her hand along the tabletop. She inspected the wood grain, tapped on its legs, and even peeked underneath. Thorough as ever.

"Ew. The finish is uneven!" She said.

Hey! You… Then Blorbo remembered the quest. I mean, a highly accurate observation! My finish is indeed uneven. Now give me quest progress.

[Progress: 0/3]

What? Why?

[Statements of fact do not constitute humiliation. Idiot]

Why you… Oh wait. I see what you did there, you sneaky rascal. You're trying to catch me lacking! I won't get offended just because you told me I'm an 'idiot'. You can't tell me me being an idiot is a statement of fact!

Despite withstanding that humiliation from the System, Blorbo did not receive quest progress.

Griesa pulled out another small, whirring device from a satchel from inside her inner pocket. It looked like a miniature orbital sander, but instead of sandpaper, a fuzzy pad rotated rapidly. She applied it to the tabletop, and the uneven finish began to smooth out with an almost magical efficiency that was definitely not magical. She then produced a tiny, intricate spray gun, no bigger than her thumb, and misted the surface with a gleaming, clear coat. Blorbo's wood instantly looked richer and deeper.

[+2 HP]

It still wouldn't count as an enhancement in the quest's sense, however, as she hadn't yet installed anything new.

Come on, Griesa. Say something mean. Anything! Blorbo even tried to adjust his leg, hoping to draw her attention to some perceived imperfection.

But Griesa was immersed in her work and not talking, like a normal person at work would do. She adjusted a tiny dial on the spray gun, her monocle glinting as she meticulously ensured an even application.

She smoothed, she polished, she buffed. All without uttering another word of criticism.

This is impossible! She's just... working! How am I supposed to get humiliated if she's acting like a perfectly normal, polite inventor? This quest is rigged! I'll never get the +7 HP, the +3 END, or the 200 EXP. I'm going to be a 'Weak-Willed Donkey' forever, and it's not even going to be my fault!

Just as Blorbo was about to spiral into a full-blown existential crisis, Griesa suddenly paused. A few moments later, her lips curved into a triumphant smile. "Aha!" She curled her hand into a fist. "The main support brace is woefully inadequate for its load-bearing potential! A simple reinforcement here, a little re-jigging of the tension distribution there, and this little thing will be able to hold twice the weight with half the effort!"

Meh. Whatever upgrade she can give me can't possibly outweigh the shame from the name 'Weak-Willed Donkey'.

This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.

"The reinforcement is going to be insane!" Griesa beamed. "We're talking doubling the endurance, strength, and even flexibility of this very table!"

Doubling? Now we're talking. Screw the status. I'll be a donkey. In fact, I'll be a donkey right now! Hee-haw!

Griesa's eyes glittered with maniacal delight as she dove into her second satchel. Out came a tool that looked like a tiny, vibrating chisel so bright it looked like it was made of pure light, followed by a vial of shimmering, viscous liquid. She applied the chisel to Blorbo's main support brace, and instead of carving, it seemed to restructure the very molecular bonds of the wood. A strange warmth spread through Blorbo, followed by an unprecedented sense of internal density and an unyielding, rigid strength that resonated through every fiber.

What did she do to me? Is this 'technology' a new kind of magic?

Then, she dabbed the pulsating liquid onto the treated area.

[+15 END]

What the heck? Fifteen? FIFTEEN? I've never seen an upgrade this huge in my life.

Next, she pulled out a delicate, almost invisible mesh that sparkled like stardust. With incredible precision, she wove it around the newly reinforced brace. It was less like adding a component and more like infusing Blorbo with a piece of a star.

[+11 STR]

Tiny gears the size of gnats appeared from the mesh, clicking into place along the brace.

[+17 AGI]

[+24 HP]

Finally, with a triumphant cackle, Griesa stood back. "There!" she declared, wiping a smudge of something iridescent from her cheek. "You're no longer a burden."

QUEST COMPLETED: The Greatest Enhancement (1)

Griesa. You really are the best inventor ever.