I Am A Table [LitRPG Isekai Progression Fantasy]

"Tomorrow?" Lena raised a brow. "Do you even know where they are, Dad?"

"No," Anders replied. "But it won't be difficult to track these amateurs down in under a day. Also, there's a building with a bird-shaped mask crest at the end of the street."

Surely an enigmatic magical organization can't be that obvious…

Griesa didn't seem quite happy, judging from the way she never looked happy when doing anything besides ogling at inventions and ogling at men. And also from how she placed both hands on her hip. "You know I can't make you custom gears in one day, right? You can't rush innovation."

"You have to think for the rest of us too. Not all of us are geniuses like you," Lena huffed as she crossed her arms.

Can we move forward now? I'm already sick of this family drama.

"You know what, gramps?" Griesa walked forward, and the rat in her hat squeaked. "What is your alignment? Give me your class and all relevant details."

"I am a Mage, do try to keep up. Some implement to heighten my power would be the least you could provide."

[Perception Check—Passing Grade: 3/5]

Reward: 2 random Stats points

Starting in: 5 seconds

Wait. What's this?

"Okay… So, what's your alignment?"

Blorbo still had no idea what Perception Check meant, but the system gave him no time.

[Perception Check—Starts Now]

Anders replied with a dignified sniff, then straightened his lapels despite not wearing a jacket. "Alignments are for clerics and the tragically unimaginative. I'm well-versed in wind magic, naturally. Fire, too, though I find it rather gaudy these days. Bloodbinding—I used to teach that back before the Accords spoiled everyone's sense of adventure. Temporal displacement, spatial inversion, astral harmonics are a few more. My thesis on the latter still confuses half the Council, not that they'd admit it." He took a breath, but not for long. "I've brokered peace between screaming seahorses, convinced a banshee to lend me her wail—for purely academic reasons, of course—and once spent an entire year inside a bottle of sentient ink just to better understand semiotic sorcery." He gave a final, modest shrug. "But yes. Wind magic. Let's start there."

"Okay. You get nothing," Griesa said, before turning to Lena. "Now let's start with your Bubble Buckler!"

[Perception Quiz—Question 1]

Who are alignments for? Answer in 3 seconds:

A. Clerics

B. Anders

Wait, what is this? A pop quiz? I know the answer to this one. He just said Clerics!

[No answer given—0/1. Next question]

What? But I got it right!

Oh, yeah. He forgot to click A.

"Nothing? My magic is the most powerful," Anders sneered, indignant now. "Obviously it's the most detectable. Which means, by any sane calculation, I need the gear the most!"

"Then be nice about it," Griesa said. The rat popped out and nodded, then popped back in.

Anders sniffed. "I was being nice."

[Perception Quiz—Question 2]

What kind of magic is 'Bloodbinding'? Answer in 3 seconds:

A. A form of magic that creates a powerful, often unbreakable, magical bond between two or more individuals, typically through a ritual involving their blood

B. A spell that allows you to control the flow of blood in an opponent's body

What?! He never even explained it during his dialogue. I can't even read this many words in three seconds!

He clicked A based on random guesswork.

[Correct—1/2. Next question]

"Mmhmm." From inside her overcoat, Griesa took out a toolbox, opened it, and muttered as she rifled through it. "Fine. You'll get the Arcane Dissonance Brooch."

"The what?" Lena asked.

"It's a glamour node disguised as costume jewelry. It will make sure it emits a faint magical signature that makes you seem magically incompetent. This device should clog up detection wards, scramble class identifiers, and fake your aura so thoroughly people will think you're a washed-up hedge conjurer who peaked during a birthday party spell."

"Should?" Anders raised his brow.

"Yes. Should. I've never tried to make it."

[Perception Quiz—Question 3]

Which type of magic does Anders find 'gaudy'? Answer in 3 seconds:

A. Fire

The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

B. Wind

This one is too easy.

He clicked A.

[Correct—2/3. Next question]

"Well, not so genius now, are you?" Anders folded his arms.

[Perception Quiz—Question 4]

What color is Ducaz's pinky toe? Answer in 3 seconds:

A. Rosy Flush

B. Pale Coral

What?! How am I supposed to know this? He didn't even ever take off his shoes.

[Wrong—ONE of his slippers slipped out when he was riding the horse that time you went out of town]

OK, sure, but do you really expect me to—

[No answer given—2/4. Next question]

Great. I'm about to fail this stupid quiz. I need to get the next question right.

"I've never thought about being a criminal and infiltrating a mage order!" Griesa waved her hand. "Now that's all settled, please excuse me when I'm—"

"You forgot Blorbo," Lena said. "And Tabby too!"

"Who?" Ducaz asked even before Griesa.

"Who?" Then Griesa asked.

"Who?" Finally, Anders asked.

[Perception Quiz—Question 5]

Which of these two did Anders make a thesis on? Answer in 3 seconds:

A. Temporal displacement

B. Astral harmonics

I don't remember this one! All the right answers have been A so far. So A must be… a trick!

He clicked B. His metaphorical shoulders shook in anticipation.

[Correct—3/5. You have passed the test]

Ha! Despite your feeble attempt to obviously rig the test against me, I still passed the test! Now give me those 2 random stats. I need more of those STR and END so I can withstand future Table Duels! Or AGI! AGI works too. I used to be fast. Now I'm like, not fast.

[Congratulations—You have gained 2 random PER]

NO! Anything but PER. I've already gotten SO MUCH PER! It's like the easiest stat to gain!

Lena replied, "Tabby is my cat—"

"I am NOT doing ANYTHING for a cat!" Griesa dismissed dismissively.

"... Okay. Blorbo is the table."

Wait. I forgot I was supposed to accept an Enhancement mission.

Suddenly, a question mark popped up atop Griesa's head. Blorbo examined it and it was the same quest as before.

[QUEST: The Greatest Enhancement (1)]

Objective: Have one part be upgraded by the great inventor.

Reward: Vary, based on the upgrade.

Prerequisite: Having finished Have some fun (1) (You can accept this quest)

Failure: None

Accept: YES/NO

Blorbo accepted.

Thanks, Lena! Saved me there.

Geez, with all these random quests AND stupid pop quizzes showing up now, I really need to pay more attention to the surroundings.

"Why did you name a table?" Ducaz asked.

Griesa's eyes, on the other hand, twinkled. "That's such a cute name! Let it meet my fellas! I can't wait to show Blorbo to my pet tables, Sin, Cos and Tan! Tan's even won a local table duel tournament!"

Okay… There's officially someone who's outweirded Lena now.