Harry Potter: S*x Oriented Hogwarts

Warning - Lucifer, the Devil is Billions of years old. 

Hermione with multiple personalities, her character's real age during sexual intercourse is 18+

(Hermione - Blessed by Amenadiel, time works differently for her, she has already surpassed age of 18+)

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"There's - got - to - be - a - short - cut!" Ron said, panting horribly as they climbed their seventh long staircase and emerged on an unfamiliar landing.

Lucifer actually knew the way, having caught a glimpse of Hogwarts layout, plus two secret passages, and knew what way to go, but every time he tried to speak, someone else interrupted him.

"There actually-"

"I think it's this way," Hermione said, pointing down an empty corridor.

"I know-

"Can't be," Ron said, still panting, "That's south... look... you can see the lake... out of the window.

"The way to-"

"Aha!" Someone yelled.

Lucifer looked over at the man who spoke, and he was inside a portrait, "What villains are these that trespass upon my private lands? Come to scorn my fall, perchance? Draw, you knaves, you dogs!"

“That one there is Ronald Weasley. Better keep an eye on him...” Lucifer said as the knight brandished his own private sword at the red head, and began brandishing it violently.

Hopping up and down in his rage.

But the sword ended up being just too long for the Knight; a particularly violent swing made him overbalance, and he landed face down in the grass.

"Are you alright?" Harry asked, moving closer to the picture.

"Get back, you scurvy braggart! Back, you rogue!" The Knight yelled at him.

He seized his sword again and used it to push himself back up, but the blade sank deeply into the grass and, though he pulled with seemingly all his might, he couldn't get it out again.

Finally he had to flop back down onto the grass and push up his visor to mop off his sweating face.

"Listen," Harry said quickly, taking advantage of the Knight's exhaustion, "We're looking for the North Tower, you don't know the way, do you?"

The Knight, looking excited, jumped up to his feet and shouted, "A Quest! Come follow me, dear friends, and we shall find our goal, or else shall perish bravely in the charge!"

He gave his sword another tug, but just tired himself out a bit and then tried and failed to mount his fat pony that Lucifer just now noticed.

He looked back at them and cried out, "On foot then, good sirs and gentle lady! On! On!"

And so he ran, clanking loudly, into the left-hand side of the frame and out of sight.

The four hurried along after him down the corridor, following the sound of his armor.

Every now and then they spotted him running through a picture ahead.

Lucifer was frustrated; he already knew the way, but here they were, being exhausted by a short and stout knight.

Hermione found to move her legs in sync a much difficult task, and for obvious reasons.

xxxxxx

Hermione was now laughing and giggling as she bounced up and down on Lucifer's back as he jumped up and down the stairs, ran around the corners.

Until at last they heard the murmur of voices above them, and knew they had reached the classroom.

"Farewell!" The Knight yelled, popping his head into a painting of some sinister-looking monks. "Farewell, my comrades-in-arms! If ever you have need of noble heart and steely sinew, call upon Sir Cadogan!"

"Yeah, we'll call you," Ron muttered as Cadogan disappeared, "if we ever need someone mental."

"For the love of..." Lucifer said, frustrated, while his curls were being played by the girl on his back.

"I knew the way, but every time I tried to bring it up, I kept getting cut off..." he climbed the last few steps ahead of the other two and emerged onto a tiny landing, where most of the class was already assembled, which comprised of Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs.

Lucifer now put Hermione down steady on her footsteps, her face looked like she didn't really want to.

“You didn't hav-” said, after kissing his cheek.

“Bloody hell Lucifer,” Ron said as he reached the top of the stairs, after making a snarky comment to the Cadogan, “How did you move that quick and still carry Hermione?”

“Magic,” Lucifer replied simply.

"Sybil Trelawney, Divination Teacher," Harry muttered in a small voice.

He looked over and saw the same thing he did, "How're we supposed to get up there?"

As though in answer to his question, the trap door above suddenly opened, and a silvery ladder descended right at Harry's feet.

Everyone went quiet, "After you," Ron said, grinning, so Harry climbed first.

When it was just Lucifer and Hermione left, he motioned, "Ladies first," he smiled at her.

"How generous of you," Hermione said with a sneer, moving to the ladder and climbing ahead of him.

Lucifer had now emerged into one of the strangest looking classroom he had ever seen.

In fact, it didn't look like a classroom at all; more like a cross between someone's attic and an old-fashioned tea shop.

At least twenty small, circular tables were crammed inside the small room that could easily have been expanded with some magic to make room for it all comfortably.

The tables were surrounded by chintz armchairs and fat little pouffes.

Everything was lit with a dim, crimson light; the curtains at the windows were all closed, and the many lamps were draped with dark red scarves.

It was stiflingly warm, and the fire, which was burning under the crowded mantelpiece, was giving off a heavy, sickly sort of perfume as it heated a large copper kettle.

The shelves running around the circular walls were crammed with dusty looking feathers, stubs of candles, many packs of tattered playing cards, countless silver crystal balls, and a huge array of teacups.

Lucifer felt like he walked into the Twilight Zone.

“Where is she?" He heard Ron ask.

They suddenly heard a soft, misty sort of voice, coming out of the shadows, "Welcome. How nice to see you in the physical world at last."

Lucifer wasn't quite sure what to expect with Professor Trelawney, but when she moved into the firelight, he saw that she was very thin; her large glasses magnified her eyes to several times their natural size, and she was draped in a gauzy spangled shawl.

Innumerable chains and beads hung around her spindly neck, and her arms and hands were encrusted with bangles and rings.

"Sit, my children, sit," she said, and they all climbed awkwardly into armchairs or sank onto pouffes.

Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Lucifer sat themselves around the same round table.

"Welcome to Divination," Professor Trelawney said, sitting herself down in a winged armchair in front of the fire.

"My name is Professor Trelawney. You may not have seen me before. I find that descending too often into the hustle and bustle of the main school clouds my Inner Eye."

Nobody said anything in answer to this extraordinary pronouncement.

Professor Trelawney delicately rearranged her shawl and continued speaking, "So you have chosen to study Divination, the most difficult of all magical arts."

'I thought Transfiguration was?' Lucifer thought to himself.

"I must warn you at the outset that if you do not have the Sight, there is very little I will be able to teach you. Books can take you only so far in this field..." she said, glancing at them all.

Lucifer  looked at Hermione and saw a distraught look on her face. 

'I mean... isn't that true for everything? Without Practical Application, a Book can only teach you so much, right?' he asked himself again.

xxxxxx

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