Formicea

 

While Kyska makes the last touches at whatever they do to nurse me, Suki brings some food.
It is the same as always, yet this isn't a problem.
It still tastes well and they are rather urging me that I shall eat and drink.
At least it helps to calm down to nibble at those mushrooms.

 

<Princess, it seems like your "clothes" are no longer able to fulfill their purpose and have to be disposed.> (K)

 

This makes me distressed again.
They are all I have to cover my body.
Yet at the moment they just ineptly cover the most important places.
And this doesn't even count wings and this "thing".
And these definitely feel like something that should be covered.

 

<Fortunately, I managed to retrieve some of this material. And it should be possible to adjust it into a fitting shape.> (K)

<Really? You could find some? How? I thought you don't know fabric?> (E)

<From the incident when we acquired you. We were able to claim a number of corpses. From these, we could gather just what you wished for before they were further processed.> (K)

 

Now I feel dread.
Not only clothes from dead men, but also what they do to them.

 

<Pro-processed?> (E)

<Yes, as food for the hunters and fertilizer in the mycelium. Everything else would have been a waste.> (K)

 

Alright, calm down.
It's not like they are cruel on purpose.
They haven't planned this.
It just came so that they had some corpses to use.

 

<Skreek!/Are you fine, princess? You emit stress pheromones.> (S)

<I... I don't like what happens to the dead ones. I understand it, but mutilating the corpses is disrespecting the dead. They were cruel, but this... this is so harsh.> (E)

<Wouldn't letting them rot without usage be disrespectful too?> (K)

<Maybe... But feeding these hunters? What are they even for? They felt to me like they are just there to kill, especially those who try to escape.> (E)

<They are patrolling the network. Those creatures have high sensory abilities and are fast. In the depth, the swarm might be superior, yet other creatures dwell here and at times act against our system. However, their cognitive abilities are limited.> (K)

 

Well, on the surface monsters exist too, why should it be different below?

 

<You don't seem to react this time to the new energy this much princess. Maybe your metamorphosis is now finished. Then we can maybe act a little freer.> (K)

 

Free?
I doubted they would even know this word.

 

<What are you referring to?> (E)

<I thought you would like to visit the hive. You were the whole time holed up in here. Maybe you want to take a stroll?> (K)

 

It sounds a bit frightening when I remember how I initially was brought here.
Nonetheless, I should get accustomed if I want to live here.

Because to say it frankly: I grew wings and a stinger.

To live ever again normal in a human town seems a little farfetched.
And apparently, I'm not even able to maintain my own body, which is rather dejecting.
And asking mum would be a little weird in the long run.
However, having two insects with specialized bodies do it, isn't much better.
So I should go out.
Yet, there is one problem.

 

<Ehk, scrik!/Ehm, I have no clothes to go out.> (E)

<While I don't see the necessity, for this reason, I would like to know the specifics you want for the material we acquired. So we can prepare it in accordance. And you don't need to worry. It will be cleaned so that no residues will remain.> (K)

<Uhh, yes. It should foremost cover me.> (E)

<What exactly? It might be difficult regarding your wings.> (K)

 

That was asked too much, huh?

 

<The most important is my chest... here. And also the parts of my lower torso. And in addition, I would like to maybe have a big sheet or coat to completely wrap myself in.> (E)

<This should be possible. I will directly go and pursue it.> (K)

 

So she leaves me with the other nurse and I don't really know how to behave in front of her.
I always have this worrying feeling that they all see me justified as a failure of a princess and like this might be hostile to such a being.
Especially as I simply don't want any of this.

 

<Can I be of assistance, my princess? You are staring at me.> (S)

 

What is refreshing, is that they don't lie.
At least not as far I know.
You can ask a question and stay sure to get an answer.

 

<You know, I am a little anxious how everything out there will react to me if they see me. I'm not fitted for this role and they all will know. So I'm scared of what will happen to me then.> (E)

<What are you saying, my princess? You are a princess and like this cannot be not fitting.> (S)

<This sounds nice, but I simply don't have the right mentality.> (E)

<What has mentality to do with this?> (S)

<You know, what I said before with the decisions. If you don't be fully committed to your task it won't be as nice as it is for you.> (E)

<Then why don't you just commit yourself to it?> (S)

<Because I can't! I mean laying eggs? Humans don't do this! I don't do this! That sounds like horror! How shall I perform this?> (E)

<My princess, I think I need to intervene here.> (S)

 

Suki who seemed very cheerful to me, as strange as this perception is, becomes unusually serious.

 

<W-what are you saying?> (E)

<You see, I need to inform you about this, and that better now before you will learn it another way.> (S)

<What is it?> (E)

<I need to tell you... You don't have a choice.> (S)

<What?> (E)

<You cannot decide if you want to fulfill your role. You will.> (S)

<What do you mean? Are you forcing me?> (E)

<You don't seem to understand. Your role is to lay the eggs to spawn brood. And this will happen. You won't be forced, you simply will do it. It will happen on its own.> (S)

 

I panic and my thoughts become disordered.

 

<I-I thought I would have to sting something, at will!> (E)

<Cuuh, criek, skriek, skrahk! / No, it is enough to bring the egg to an environment where it can obtain enough nourishment. As if the queen would walk to such places and wander around. You will press out the eggs and they will be taken to an incubator, where they hatch and the larvae will be attended to. All you can decide are the adjustments it shall have. Otherwise, it will be a normal worker, yet the basics are important, so no failure by concentrating on them.> (S)

<Y-y-you are meaning this, right?> (E)

<What else should I mean? How are your reproductive organs in that regard? They should be located in your lower torso. Did you feel anything at those places in your last activity intervals?> (S)

 

These intervals seem to refer to the times when I was awake and what I felt then.

 

<There was just this pain. My stomach feels still troubled, but it stopped hurting.> (E)

 

I rub at my abdomen, trying to assure myself that I am fine there.

 

<I am sorry to inform you, but that might never change. You should learn to ignore this, my princess.> (S)

<Why do you say this? Maybe I'm just not used to the food.> (E)

<No, my princess. The stirring means your body adjusted there. Your ovipositor already built out. Yet why shouldn't the rest develop too? Your insides changed. Build out the necessary reproductives. You have already eaten. So the only purpose this energy has now is to make eggs. It happens right now. They form and grow while we are talking.> (S)

<What are you talking here about? They will come from alone? I don't have a choice? Why? What will happen?> (E)

<Crk? Isn't this clear? You will lay eggs! Continuously! One, two, three, four, and so on. Yet in intervals. You produce new ones during that time. And then you lay more. Forever. That won't change.> (S)

<For-forever?> (E)

<You see my princess. Your kind gets old. I don't know if your origin will change that, yet I doubt this after all I witnessed with you. Our queen is around eight-thousand cycles old. Oh, you might not know yet, a cycle is the timeframe in which the creatures change their rate of activity due to a general change in temperature, some sleep for a long time and then go back to normal. You might have witnessed this before, as the effect is stronger the closer one comes to the surface.> (S)

 

She must mean hibernation!
That means winter!
She means years!
Eight-thousand years!

 

<I-I'm just an egg-laying machine? H-how many?> (E)

<Cuuk? Criek!/ That depends. You are young and not used to it, so probably the amount will be less, to decrease the strain on you.> (S)

 

Oh, good. At least not this many.
I mean I already said I would comply.

 

<The queen has a hundred-thousand in one cycle. So you... probably a bit less than sixteen-thousand, at most twenty-thousand. So no need to worry.> (S)

 

I just stare.
The number won't go away, no matter what.
Twenty-thousand!
Twenty-thousand eggs!

What would that mean per day?
Sixty?
Maybe a bit less.
Still, she can't be serious.
Yet, she is an insect.
Why lie to me?

I start to tremble, tears are gathering in my eyes and I only don't scream to not make these terrible screeching sounds.

 

<I cannot do this! This is too many! This can't be me!> (E)

<You can be assured, your body is adjusted. You will barely feel the eggs leaving as soon you're used to it. So you can do this.> (S)

 

Used to it?
Laying eggs?
This is crazy!
Just madness!
What do I do?!

I won't have a choice as she said.
It will simply happen.
This is more than I can endure.

 

"Princess, what is wrong? Your stress pheromones! Every entity in the vicinity is agitated." (K)

 

She immediately realizes that Suki is calm and like this knows more than her.

 

<Suki, what is wrong?> (K)

<The princess was worried about her role. So I told her what will happen and that she doesn't need to fear making mistakes because of this.> (S)

 

Kyska seems severely displeased.

 

<After all you've seen of her, you decided to tell her this like that? Without any preparation? How could you be this careless?> (K)

<She might emit stress, yet she seems fine.> (S)

<Only because she is in shock! We need to ease her, without pushing too strong.> (K)

 

Like I already said, you aren't very good at comforting others.

 

<Princess it is fine. You will still have more than enough time to spend as you want. There is no reason to despair over this.> (K)

<Twenty-thousand.> (E)

<Ehhk?/Princess?> (K)

<Twenty-thousand eggs! How shall this be possible? How much time would I spend like that? How would I even go on the toilet like this?> (E)

 

Would I be forced to sully myself?

 

<Toilet?> (S)

<You don't know what that is?! A unit to sit and get your food out. Waste disposal. Excretion! How shall this still be possible with how I am now?> (E)

<Wait, does the princess not know?> (S)

<She doesn't need to.> (K)

<Wait! What do I not know? Tell me!> (E)

<If you order so, princess. The disposal of your waste is part of our duties. We are attending when you relieve yourself. In general, you do it in your alcove. You are... relaxing during that time. It filters any waste out. We then take care of it and let it bring to the mycelium as fertilizer and clean you. So you don't need to concern yourself with such trivial matters.> (K)

 

They... They even do that?
In fact, they do everything.
Cleaning, feeding, even this.
There is nothing I do on my own.

 

<What is then left? You two are doing everything!> (E)

<What a question. You are laying eggs! As this is your role! And we make sure nothing is hindering you from doing it! Any inconvenience can decrease your production!> (S)

 

I guessed so.
The truth is, I'm as specialized as they are.
I only have that one function.
I hug my knees and slowly tears fall out of my layered closed eyes.
Not obstructed, as the slit is vertically in the middle.

 

"Sob!" (E)

 

I whine quietly, yet the tears are coming steadily.

 

<Screo!/Princess...> (K)

 

Suddenly I feel some pressure around me.
Kyska is hugging me!

 

<I don't want this! I don't want just to lay eggs for eternity!> (E)

 

She is carefully stroking my hair.

 

<Please don't be sad. Maybe Suki has overstated your occupation. See, it will at first be only around fifty in one activity interval. And the process itself shouldn't be uncomfortable. It shouldn't take this long to fulfill. Just a short frame of time. Then you are done and have time until the next interval. It might even happen when you sleep, reducing the amount even more. You will have much time to spend as you wish.> (K)

 

This sounds strangely assuring.
Not just this proclaimed hell, where I could have been bound to a spot, forced to press them out one after the other.

 

I am not really over it, but I ease up a little.