Formicea

 

My rest felt wild.
Disturbed.

As if my very being was thrown around in every direction.
Like this, I am somewhat glad to wake up again.
That's what I thought.

At some point, my pain completely vanished.
Not just an unfinished feel that it got better.
More like directly watching how a wound closes and then you know this won't hurt anymore.
This is how I feel now.

And so I step out of my tub.
To my surprise, I see something I didn't expect.

 

<Two Kyskas?> (E)

 

Truly, in front of me stand two similar insects.
Same stature, height, color.
I think I see double but for some reason, I am sure that the right one is Kyska.

 

<My princess, this here is Suki. I relayed your bodily condition and it was decided that two nurses shall attend you.> (K)

 

I am confused. Kyska didn't seem like she couldn't cope with me, yet now there is a new one.
This is not really distressing, however, I get excited in a way.

 

"Scrrrrrrrrrrrrrr"

<What?> (E)

 

There started a strange sound and I follow it to the source only to find...

 

<Oh my! Our princess grew wings! What a wonderful occasion!> (Suki)

 

This new one seems to be happy, while I panic internally.
Kyska shows some compassion if there is any way to note such a thing on her stiff insect face.
She already knows how I react if things like this happen.

And she is completely right!

 

<No, no, no, no, no! W-wings? How can this be? I... I mean... Why?> (E)

"Three different sets! Each concentrated on another allocated space. Beautiful! They will give such a stabilized flight. Yet, they are so complicated. Even for a princess, this is uncommon. She must have good predispositions. The maintenance will be a piece of work, but don't worry we will keep them clean and able." (S)

 

I note that these things apparently ripped through my shirt, which now is just kept in place by a few joints.
They are huge, yet slender.
Emerging from close down my neck to close over my hip, they are folded behind my back.
Those are only the places where they are coming out from.
They extend so far that they reach down close to my knees.

They feel strange.
I know they are there.
I could feel the breeze on them when they moved seconds ago.

And now this insect is fondling them!!!

She is very careful with the touch, yet takes each of the six pieces and moves them separately.

 

<Screooh!/Aahhh, ehh. N-no. This feels weird. Please.> (E)

 

This sensation is crazy.
I can feel them as a part of me, but they are so foreign.
And they feel delicate.
Extremely sensitive.
Each touch is as if I get touched where I shouldn't.

They aren't "such" places, right?

 

<Suki! It seems our princess is not fully consenting to your examination.> (K)

<Oh, forgive me. I just tried to find the patterns they developed, to know how they move and have to be maintained.> (S)

 

Maintained?
I have to keep them?
I know with this feeling that they might not be easy to remove.
Furthermore, they are extending from my spine.
This is no place you should casually rip things away from.

But keeping giant insect wings?
They are translucent and don't look bulky.
A little bit accommodating to my shape.
Yet, at the same time, this is sheer madness.
I've grown wings!

And they are going to maintain them?
What does that even mean?
I need to grant Suki they really do look complicated.
In terms of cleaning, I wouldn't even know how to reach them properly.
I have to be cleaned by them, right?
This, this is disturbing.

To have to rely on the help of others, just to maintain my body.
How shall I sleep?
On my stomach, it seems.
My back is obviously no option like this.

This is again too much and I fall down on my knees.

However, I need to take a bowed posture, because otherwise, those things are scraping the ground.

 

<Oh princess! Please be careful! They might be able to grow back, but it takes very long and you should be careful not to damage them.> (K)

 

Growing back!?
Well, they did grow from nothing in the first place, so what do I know?
Yet like this, now I surely won't be able to get rid of them.

 

<Criekie, scruh!/Wings; haha! What a joke!> (E)

<What is with the princess?> (S)

<You should know that our princess is not originally from the swarm. Each change seems to weigh hard on her. She has problems adjusting from her very different former circumstances. So it is on us to help to ease her. And we should refrain from confronting her with too much at once.> (K)

 

I really need to say you are doing a terrible job at this.
But I don't, as they might kill themselves for failure, as committed they are to their "roles".
Have I mentioned how weird it is to get your insect wings fondled by an insect?

 

<Princess! You should eat. Those changes are draining and it is important to replenish.> (K)

 

Suki helps me carefully back up.
She is now a bit calmer, probably to not startle me any further.
Yet suddenly...

Did this thing just touch my butt!!?

 

<What are you doing?! My... Why touch there?> (E)

<Screee! Scriak, Criu!/ I'm sorry! Forgive me, princess! I just was so fascinated by... You know it is just to worship. The origin of us all!> (S)

 

What?!
What has my butt to do with this?
Is she insane?
She looks like she has fallen out of a mesmerized daze.

I look agitated at her.
And I've decided they are female.
Don't know how that applies, but they look slender and call themselves nurses.
Kyska decided also to take a look at what Suki could possibly mean.
Then she suddenly freezes in her tracks.

 

<What... What is it?> (E)

<It has formed.> (K)

<Formed?> (E)

<It is now fully developed. Just a question of time until it might start.> (K)

<Start?! What will start? What are you talking about?> (E)

<Your ovipositor, my princess! It has fully developed. For now, it is in an inactive state. Yet if you will it, it should extend!> (S)

 

Kyska throws Suki a troubled gaze for saying things that will make me panic.
And I do!

Wings aren't enough, but now this ominous egg stinger comes in addition?
What I've done to the world?

I touch at the place I've avoided for exactly the reason that I didn't want to think about it.
Definitely, the bulge from before expanded.
Vast.

Hidden under those wings lies a structure.
There is something corrugated protruding out of my lower back.
There where the spine ends and my butt begins.
When I touch, this thing begins to twitch but settles down again.

I follow it in the direction it extends.
After maybe a half hand's length it ends.
However, there is no tip.
Right where it should end there is an opening.
I manage to get a glimpse and it is of the same dark-bronze color those insect's carapace features.
How might I look under my skin?

Curious as I am I touch the inside.
Weird is an understatement.
I feel the touch and it is slick.
It seems to be sensitive.
With this thing and the wings, I can forget chairs.

Those jokes shall ease my mind, yet I think I'm sweating buckets right now and tremble.
I really don't want this to happen to me and cannot think about anything else.
I just want this thing to disappear, fall off, move away.

Suddenly it twitches.
This sensation brings me out of it and I panic.
My breath gets rigid and I hold my head.

And then it happens.
This protruding thing twitches, shifts, and feels just wrong.
And it rushes out.
Like a spear, it pierces out and my waist feels the tension leave.

Then I see it.

It is similar to this thing I initially was stung with, only smaller.
The compressed segments did all extend and at its end, the opening closed into a sharp thorn.
Now a very long thing is hovering there.

This is too much!
It might be even longer than me.

What do I do?
This thing moves as if it has a will of its own.
While it feels as if I can move it, it flails around and stings in different directions.

I have no control!

The two insects moved away from me in my panic.

 

<Princess you need to calm down! The stinger is a deadly weapon. If you hit a target it will become paralyzed and an egg might be deposited until it breaks out, killing the host.> (K)

 

This isn't real!
This isn't real!
Ignore it and it will end on its own!

 

<Princess, please. There is nothing to fear. Nothing bad will happen.> (S)

 

How should this become worse?
I'm turning into an insect!
What do I say?
I am an insect!
With a stinger!
And I will lay eggs!
This is all too much!
Why me?!

 

I've lost my balance and fell down again.
Now I just fold myself into a ball and try to ignore how much these wings hurt in this position, all the while this stinger wreaks havoc around me, yet somehow prevents itself from piercing my body.
I close my eyes, but feel those new eyelids beneath my normal ones, again reminding me that everything is wrong.

I stay moveless and eventually the stinger stops and retracts back to its former form, where it opens the thorn.
Soon after this, I feel some touch on me but refrain from opening my eyes.
The two wings, I clamped in this position under me, get carefully freed and the pain caused by this subsides.
Then I get lifted upright into a sitting position.

 

<Princess please care more for yourself. We were worried what might happen.> (K)

 

I feel how my sweat-coated body gets wiped.
That happened before, still, it is startling.
This causes me to open carefully my eyes, yet only the first layer.
Those new lids stay but are translucent.
The view is like this a bit dulled, but I can see fine.

Both of these insects are right now busy doing some kind of cleaning.
I feel them wiping my body.
Last time I didn't want to know, yet now I realize that at their rarely used middle segment of arms some kind of sponge is growing out of their claws.
They really are made to do these tasks and only that.
This is again so foreign, being cleaned in this strangely biological specified way.

Kyska takes also her time to comb my disheveled greasy hair while proceeding with the cleaning using her other arms.
Suki meanwhile fiddles with my wings.
Maybe something happened to them or so.
But then she starts to massage them in a way.

 

"Krrrrrrrrrr!" (E)

 

What was that?
That wasn't one of these communication creaks.
This came different.
More like... a cat's purring!
Do I purr?

 

<Oh princess, how endearing.> (S)

 

It's not my fault!
I simply didn't know my body would react like this!

 

<Princess, you really should try to accommodate more. Your body is exactly like it should be. There is no reason to react like this to such a wonderful development.> (K)

<It... It feels just wrong to me. My mind is still human. I think it is. And so... this is all too much. I feel dread simply thinking about... laying eggs. This is nothing humans would do. They can't. And so I shouldn't either. I-I'm scared! This is just unnatural!> (E)

<Princess, you soon will begin to fulfill your role. And feel the joy to do so.> (S)

<This is just the problem! Humans don't have "roles". I am not adjusted. Not made to have one function performed. To me, this feels wrong. What about individualism?> (E)

<Cri-ku!/Indi-vidu-alism?> (S)

 

Am I now really discussing with hive creatures how to live freely?

 

<This is... when you do what you want to do and not just that what others think you should. Not just doing what you are assigned for, but what you decide you have to do.> (E)

 

These two are tilting their heads at me as if I am crazy.

 

<I mean don't you think sometimes it is narrowing that you only can be nurses? Never had the chance to decide what you think you are fitting for?> (E)

<No, I don't! A nurse is a nurse and like this fitting to do this.> (S)

<It is fulfilling to perform a role and like this to contribute to the whole. If we wouldn't be assigned to you we would tend to the guardians who are unable to take care of themselves as they are. Yet because we do this they can protect us all. By doing what we do, we are helping every single member of the swarm and can keep it alive. All are of equal importance to proceed. Because we are made like we are, this is what we do. We know our purpose and don't need to fear any doubt. This is wonderful don't you think so?> (K)

 

Hard to beat that logic.
For those who love what they do, doing it must be nice.
And they are made to love it.
And like this, their society knows no inequality or mistreatment.
This is better than most humans.

However, my mind is apparently still human.
And I am glad about that.
I don't want to lose myself.

 

<And because we are nurses we can now attend a princess! There is no greater honor!> (S)

 

There seems to be a difference concerning the higher-ups.
But she seems to be happy.