Falling For The Idol

Being hit with a sudden realization that you aren't suppose to be in a place that you thought you were meant to be in is... Weird?

I am suppose to be happy, attending my first ever concert and here I am being concern about the fact that I am turning 30 really soon.

I had the sudden urge to runaway and leave the concert, going back to my home and hiding away into the covers of my blanket and fall fast asleep.

My hands gripped the railings, and I bit my bottom lip. Trying to repress the tears that wanted to fall.

Suddenly the lights dimmed low, and then a very familiar tune began to play. The stadium began to buzz with anticipation.

"They are here," Rachael said with excitement, an excitement that I could no longer match due to my sudden bout of sadness.

I could only look on at the stage, as the big screen showed a short video, showcasing each and every single member.

With each member being shown a loud screamed could be heard from the crowd, with Rachael also partaking in the screams as well. She was probably screaming the loudest.

Then everywhere became dark, and then coming from above the stage were seven silhouettes, and then a loud, "MAKE SOME NOISE!!" Was all that was and the entire stadium vibrated.

Then that feeling that I had earlier died down, I started waving my light stick, Rachael noticed and began waving hers as well.

Forget about those shallow thoughts Anna, you here to have fun and just overall enjoy yourself. So do have fun and enjoy yourself as well.

****

This entire concert had me hyped, at one moment I cried, the next moment I laughed at the antics of each member and their silly behavior.

Then came in the closing credits, with them singing a very touching song, one of the most beautiful songs that I have heard since I started stanning them this week.

I saw myself holding Rachael hands, as we waved our light stick, in solidarity.

Some words of affirmation were said, them saying that they would always be seven and nothing would ever separate them. Saying that this won't ever be there last time here.

And with that the concert had come to an end. I felt light, I felt happy, I felt like a huge burden was lifted off my shoulders. A burden that I have carried around me since I was a child.

I inhaled and exhaled, Rachael was besides me crying, I wrapped an arm around her shoulder and brought her in for a hug. She smelt how she looks like, like strawberries and everything nice.

She then removed herself from the hug, using the back of her hands to clean out her eyes, sniffling.

"I don't think people would ever understand what Starry Night means to me. If I tell them they would think that I have gone mad." She let out a bitter laugh. "I have faced a lot of prejudice, just cause I choose to Stan them. But that wouldn't ever stop me from stanning them. It may sounds childish to most people, but it is not for me."

I cracked a smile, looking back at the stage where they were once on. At some point in the concert, I saw Tae-Won looked up towards my direction. I wondered if he was checking to see if I was there.

"Rachael, sorry but I just remembered that I need to be somewhere." As I was about to run, I felt her grabbed my arm, I turn to her wondering what she wanted from me.

"Sorry," she removed her hand from my arm. "I just wanted to know if I could get your phone number, just want us to be buddies."

Suddenly I felt this flutter in my chest, she looked so cute as she asked for my number. Her cheeks were tinged with pink, as she looked at me shyly.

I stretched out my hand, she placed her phone on it, I punched in my digit and then handed the phone back to her.

"Thank you, I would call you ok." I nodded my head, "I would be expecting your call."

With that I left walked down the staircase, then turn a corner that probably led to the backstage, I saw security guiding the door.

As I approached him with caution, and he raised his hand, I reached for my purse and pull out the backstage pass.

He observed it, twisting and turning it, trying to see if it was fake or real. Then he let me in, I walked inside.

The mood was completely different here, staffs were walking around, giving instructions to people on what and what not too do.

As I took a step forward, I was stopped by a man who looked to be in his late 30s, with a shaved head and an equally smooth face.

"Who are you? You aren't allowed to be here." He said with such a voice that commanded respect, for a person his height you would be quite surprised.

"Oh, um I am here to see Tae-Won."

"What business do you have with him?" He asked his arms folded.

My mind went blank not knowing what else to say. I open my mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

Suddenly as if like an angel descending down from above the clouds, Tae-Won came. "Mr. Lee, how are you doing?" His eyes looked gave me quick glance.

"Anna, I'm glad you were able to make it. Mr. Lee I know who this woman don't worry." He said coming up to me and draping an arm around my shoulders.

Mr. Lee eyed the both of us wearily then stalled off. As soon as he was gone, Tae-Won turn to me. His still dressed in what he performed with, he looked absolutely breathtaking. I shook my head, in shouldn't be thinking about a man younger than me.

"So how was the performance?" He asked.

I told him that it was perfect and that I cried a little, but it was worth.

We talked a bit, and then he asked for my phone number as well, which I gave to him and then waved each other goodbye.

Me with the intention of never seeing him again, he was just a fever dream that won't ever come back to me again.

****

As soon as I got home, I removed my shoes at the door step, Amarie was no where in sight, probably asleep. I felt exhausted, I was went to my room and removed the make up from my face, wore my hair up into a bun and wore comfy clothing.

I sat on the couch, as I watched TV, then suddenly I heard a knock on my door.

Wondering who it was, cause I was for sure not expecting anybody by this time. I tiptoed towards the door. My hand reaching for the baseball bat that lay behind the door, just in case it was an unexpected visitor.

I opened the door, and lo behold the least person I was expecting to visit my house was standing at my doorstep. Dressed in casual clothing, his hair damped and his face bare of any form of makeup.

"Tae-Won?"