Esa Promesa

Asyan, who usually despised the temple folks as nothing more than con artists, now knew about the High Priest’s movements and even brought it up. The reason was glaringly obvious. My stomach churned.

It was because of me. Unable to save me himself, Asyan must have clung to the hope that a priest wielding divine power could.

I felt a pang of guilt and gratitude at the thought that Asyan, whom I considered a friend, cherished me just as much. But as I replayed his words in my mind, I couldn’t help but flinch.

“The High Priest of Ramanov is coming to the capital?”

“Yes. That’s why the atmosphere in the capital is livelier than usual.”

I knew the High Priest of Ramanov, who served the God of Life, had come to this country for diplomatic purposes. But I hadn’t heard that he was visiting the capital.

Diver disliked religion. Any religion. Even the patron deity of this nation. He despised them all.

There were political reasons for this stronger religious influence weakened royal authority but Diver claimed his disdain stemmed from the gods’ tendency to take offerings from humans without ever giving anything back.

Knowing this, I had always avoided anything related to the temple to keep from irritating him. Even when I learned that five High Priests of Ramanov were coming to Emar for diplomatic relations, I advised him only to observe basic courtesy and otherwise ignored the matter entirely.

Still, Diver would have known all about the High Priest’s schedule and movements, no matter how much he hated it. Yet he hadn’t said a word to me.

“You didn’t know.”

“No… I didn’t. Thank you for telling me.”

I understood Diver didn’t need to inform me about everything. But if he cared even a little about the well-being and safety of the palace staff, he should have at least given me a heads-up.

Already, I could imagine the twisted expression Diver would wear tomorrow, the tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. The thought alone gave me a headache.

“Well, if not another day, I’ll have to try to improve His Majesty’s mood tomorrow.”

After all, an innocent person could end up dead as the target of Diver’s wrath. I’d have to be extra cautious.

As I resolved myself, Asyan suddenly clasped my hand firmly.

“Sir Teian, how about stepping out of the palace tomorrow, even just for a moment, to meet the High Priest?”

“I’ll be fine.”

I cut him off firmly, feeling sorry for Asyan but determined not to let the conversation continue.

If I were to step out of the palace, Diver would undoubtedly follow me immediately. And if he discovered that the person I was meeting was a priest, it would be the end of me.

Even the brief moments of freedom I now managed to steal under Diver’s watchful eye might vanish altogether. The mere thought of such a future made me shudder.

“I wish you could live a long life, Sir Teian.”

“Just hearing you say that makes me happy.”

It wasn’t just a hollow response, it was the truth. I was grateful to Asyan for caring so deeply about me.

When I smiled, Asyan’s face crumpled, looking as though he was about to burst into tears.

How could I not know? He was trying to act normal around me, to not let my looming death overwhelm our interactions. Every word, every action was deliberate, aimed at keeping me from breaking under the weight of my fate.

Asyan lowered his head, and I gently let go of his hand. Instead, I wrapped an arm around his shoulder. Just like I had comforted the young Diver all those years ago, I patted my friend’s back to console him.

It felt a bit awkward since, except for that one time when we stumbled home drunk and leaning on each other for support, such moments were rare. Still, Asyan didn’t push me away; instead, he leaned into my shoulder.

“Thank you, Asyan. Truly.” 

When I first met him, I never imagined we’d grow this close.

His blunt expression and the straightforward way he spoke something he might have picked up from Diver or vice versa made him seem my complete opposite. Yet, beneath that exterior, he was such a kind soul.

“Even just once.” 

Though he wasn’t crying, the suppressed emotion in his tone tugged at my heart.

“Let the High Priest examine you, heal you. Sir Teian, I don’t want to lose you like this.”

The desperation in his voice made my chest ache. I felt endlessly sorry, sorry that he cared so much for me, sorry that I couldn’t ease his pain.

Even if the High Priest could perceive the curse upon me, it wouldn’t matter. And meeting with him only to be discovered by Diver would certainly diminish my chances of escaping the palace.

But seeing Asyan endure unnecessary anguish and sorrow because of me, I couldn’t bring myself to refuse him outright any longer.

“Alright.” 

“Really?”

It seemed this life was particularly full of impulsive decisions. As I thought this, I lowered my voice.

“But I’ll need you to get me something first.”

I was already devising my next move.

Looking at Asyan’s curious expression, I gave him a sly smile and requested the one thing most essential for my peace.

“Bring me some powdered Amalania seeds.”

Amalenia seed powder was a medically used sedative. Coincidentally, it was the only substance Diver lacked resistance to, despite his immunity to most toxins and drugs.

*

The royal infirmary housed a plethora of medicinal ingredients, so, naturally, it included Amalenia seed powder.

Asyan, though clearly skeptical of my intentions, handed it over without questioning me too much, perhaps due to my agreement to meet the High Priest. He must have suspected my motives but seemed reluctant to ask, likely fearing I’d backtrack on my earlier promise.

And so, this morning, I found myself stealing glances at Diver, who was bathed in the light of the late morning sun as he buried himself in paperwork.

It wasn’t even working hours but a break period. Yet, it seemed Diver had preemptively immersed himself in documents to avoid my prying questions about Sol Avla. That or he had been pretending to be engrossed in work since I stepped in—or perhaps even earlier.

Typically, he would spend this short break enjoying himself at the training grounds or leisurely reading in the library. It was clear that his sudden dedication to work was a tactic to avoid me.

Knowing Diver wouldn’t let himself be disturbed during work, I had no choice but to settle down and open my own stack of documents, blending into his fabricated diligence.

When I glanced at the clock, it was nearing the end of the morning. Time was still on my side, but I felt a growing sense of unease. My mouth was parched at the thought of Diver possibly lifting his head from his work at any moment.

Out of habit, I nearly reached into my pocket to feel for the sedative but stopped myself. Diver’s suspicious nature would surely pick up on any strange movements. Instead, I gripped my pen tightly, whispering to myself for reassurance.

He’ll need a break soon. He’ll ask me to make tea like always. He has to.

He had to. That would be my only chance.

Diver had a strange habit of ordering me, specifically, to brew his tea, even with servants on standby. It was his way of annoying me, no doubt. But this time, I intended to take full advantage of his idiosyncrasy.

Once he made his usual demand, I’d lace his tea with an ample amount of the sedative. Once Diver was out cold, I’d make my escape from the palace to attend to my personal matters.

Of course, meeting the High Priest wasn’t my primary objective. If the opportunity presented itself, I might feign seeking treatment just to appease Asyan. But I wasn’t naïve enough to expect miracles.

Things weren’t always like this.

As I thought back to the past, a bitter taste filled my mouth, and I washed it down with the tea I had prepared for myself.

After my first death, the sensation of my body deteriorating filled me with an almost unbearable dread. The fear was still present, but back then, the weight of it was suffocating, it had been my first experience, after all.

When I was resurrected in the form of a child, I clung to hope, desperately praying to gods I didn’t even believe in.

Whether by sheer luck or misfortune, I managed to meet a High Priest revered as the embodiment of a god. I revealed my condition to him, only to be met with a sorrowful expression and unforgettable words:

‘You are not cursed.’

It was then I learned the painful truth: priests couldn’t recognize the curse.

The only one who had ever seen through my curse was Raspeim.

Ironically, even Raspeim couldn’t break the curse. He could only offer a cryptic hint:

‘Your ‘curse’ can only be undone by its caster.’

In other words, only the witch who cursed me could lift it.

By my fifth life, I had abandoned any hope of breaking the curse. The revelation no longer stung.

So I harbored no foolish expectations for the High Priest I might meet today.

“Teian.”

Diver’s sudden call startled me so much that I nearly jerked my head up. But any unnatural movement would undoubtedly draw his ever-suspicious eye, so I forced myself to respond as calmly as possible.