Chapter 4: A Secret Revealed
I sat down at the kitchen table across from my dad. The oak wood tabletop between us seemed like an expanse of more than wood and years. It almost seemed like the man I knew as my father had disappeared and there sat someone else. I could see the difference in the way he sat, in the ridged lines of his posture, but most especially in the look in his eyes. A stranger stared back out at me from his dark brown eyes.
I couldn't help the shiver that came over me. It caused me to sit up straighter, and something told me I needed to pay close attention to what came next. This was important, and I couldn't afford to miss a moment of it.
"Michael, we don't have much time and there's so much to tell you. Both your mother and I had hoped it would never come to this, but it has, so we must deal with it the best way we can. So, I'm going to tell you everything as straight as I can, and I would appreciate it if you kept questions you have until I'm done with what I need to say. Alright?" He stopped to make sure I understood.
I gave him a nod that I did.
"Now, I know you have drawn some of your own conclusions about all of this stuff going on." He waved a hand toward the living room, and the broadcast still going on in there. "Did you see the ship that they pulled out of the lake?" Dad gave me a questioning look.
I nodded again and swallowed a large lump that had gotten stuck in my throat.
Dad nodded his head as if in agreement, but what agreement I did not know. "Well, that was our ship. Yours, mine, and your mother's. We came here twenty years ago. We hadn't planned to come here. It just worked out that way. Our ship had suffered major damage, and we were lucky this planet was within range so we could land.
"It didn't take long for me to realize the ship was too damaged to make it back off this planet, especially with there being no replacement parts available. We had a bit of luck that this planet's dominating species looked so much like us." Dad ran a hand through his hair as he looked off, as if reliving a memory. "Though I suppose it wasn't a huge surprise. Before Ethia had shut its borders a few millennia ago, it is said that we had populated much of the greater universe."
Dad waved another hand as if to erase everything he had just said. "But none of that matters. There are far more important things to discuss, like why we left Ethia. I told you about your brother. They were a big part of it. That's for sure. But there were other reasons." He stopped for a moment as if loath to continue.
I, for my part, was glad for the break. I needed a moment to catch up. I felt dizzy and sick to my stomach, a part of me thinking this wasn't real at all and I had somehow stepped into a bizarre nightmare of some kind. But I was saved from pondering too much on that as my dad took a deep breath and continued his story.
"There was a lot of political unrest under the current rulers of the Empire. It was a difficult time. Your brothers' attack against you just made things worse. What's more is your mother was concerned that your brothers would try again. Your biological father claimed that wouldn't happen and that you would be safe, but she didn't believe him, nor did I for that matter. He had lost control of his sons, at least when it concerned you. So, your mother and I made a choice that your safety and wellbeing were more important than anything else, and with help, we devised a plan to get you out of Ethia.
"We were supposed to go to another planet outside the Ethian galaxy. That was the plan. They used to be allies of the Empire. We figured we'd be safe there and far out of the reach of your father. We didn't think anyone would dare cross the borders of the Empire into the greater universe. Though Earth wasn't our destination, once we were here, we decided to make this work. And it did for twenty years."
Dad stopped his commentary to stare out the dining-room window for a long moment. Again, it gave me time to catch up, to process the information. Even so, I was having a hard time with it, and there were so many questions running through my mind. I finally could settle on one to ask.
"So no one knew who we were when we got here?"
Dad looked back at me. "Eric's dad knew. He's the one who helped us get settled here. When we first landed, we kept a low profile as best we could, but it was difficult. We didn't know the language of this planet, nor did we know the customs. I'm afraid we stuck out badly, but we were fortunate that Jim Layton ran across us early on.
"He helped us cover our tracks and set up a life here. Jim even gave us his last name and pretended we were distant cousins. He was a great guy. Honestly, I'm not even sure why he was so eager to help us. He did so much for us. In the end, though, I think it was because of you.
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"You were still pretty messed up from what your brothers had done to you. Your physical injuries had healed, but it was the psychological that had not. You were so scared of everything, and jumped at any sudden noises, and wouldn't talk to anyone, not even me or your mother. Well, you talked to his son, Eric. You two seemed to hit it off from the start. He was only a few years older than you, so I think that's why you were more comfortable with him. I think, too, that he might also have reminded you of a close friend you had to leave behind in Ethia.
"It was a tragedy that damn drunk driver ran into Jim not even a year after he had gotten us settled into this new world. So, of course, after he passed, we took Eric in as our own since Jim didn't have any relatives that could." Again, Dad trailed off as he relived old memories.
"How old was I when we came here?"
"Five, almost six."
I shook my head in disbelief. Still not really accepting what I was being told, because if I bought into all of this, then I would not only have to come to terms with the fact that I wasn't born to this planet like I had always believed, but that my parents had willfully kept that from me. I could feel my entire foundation starting to crumble, and it was leaving me with an unsettled feeling. Oddly enough, there was no panic, no hysteria, just a twisting in my stomach like I'd eaten something bad and a growing feeling of anger toward my parents, to our unexpected visitors, and toward this whole day in general.
"How come I remember nothing? You would think I'd remember something, anything." But as I told Dad before, my first memory was of Eric and I playing in the lake in upstate New York. I felt a little betrayed by that, now knowing there should have been so much there. Memories of a whole other life, culture, and world, but there was nothing but my memories of being here on Earth.
"I am afraid that is of my doing. You see, many people in Ethia have these enhanced talents called Dome-ni. Some are passive, and almost not even worth noting. Some are not so passive. Mine would fall into the latter category. I'm what they call a Mind Bender. I can manipulate and block memories, among other things."
I blinked at my dad as my mind slowly comprehended what he said, feeling a growing sense of horror at his words. It seemed impossible to me he would do such a thing, but I couldn't deny the look in his eyes, which confirmed he'd done exactly that. The corners of my eyes burned with unfilled tears as I shook my head in utter disbelief.
"Why? Why would you do such a thing?"
There were tears streaming down my dad's face now. The shame, the guilt there plain to see. "I am so sorry, son. Your mother and I tried everything we could think of before we resorted to blocking your memories. You have to believe that. But the trauma you suffered at the hands of your brothers was severe and impeded your ability to function."
"But those were my memories," I finally said, my voice barely above a whisper. "You had no right to take them from me." My voice cracked on the last word. I could taste salt as my tears spilled over onto my cheeks.
Dad flinched as if I had struck him. "You're right. We didn't. But Michael, you weren't sleeping. You weren't eating. You wouldn't speak to anyone but Eric. And the nightmares…" Dad's voice trailed off, his eyes haunted. "The screaming would go on for hours. Nothing we tried helped. Your mother and I were desperate."
I wiped at my face with the back of my hand, but the tears kept coming. The betrayal cut deeper than I'd expected, leaving a raw ache in my chest. I could hear the sincerity in Dad's voice, could see the pain etched in every line of his face, but the idea that he'd taken away a major piece of myself burned inside.
"Were you ever going to tell me? If this ship hadn't appeared today, would you and Mom eventually have told me the truth?" My voice full of accusation, because I was pretty sure I already knew the answer.
Dad looked down at his hands, no doubt to avoid looking me in the eye. "Michael, it's not so simple––"
"Yes. It. Is." I said as I wiped the rest of the tears away and my anger solidified and grew.
"No," his father finally said. "We weren't going to tell you."
I pushed back from the table, the chair legs scraping harshly against the floor. The kitchen suddenly felt too small, too confining. The walls seemed to close in as my breathing quickened. All those years—my entire life—built on lies.
"Michael, please," his father said, reaching across the table. "You have to understand—"
I jerked away. "Understand what? That you stole my identity. That you never even gave me a choice about that. And now you admit you were never going to tell me about any of it at all."
The man across from me sat back in his seat with a defeated look on his face. "There's a lot you don't understand about where we came from and the situation you were in. Your mother and I both thought it would be better for you not to know. You were happy here, Michael. We didn't want to upset that. There was no reason to upset that."
"I still had a right to know," I said, rocketing into a standing position, unable to sit at the same table with the other man. "Even if I were happy, they were still my memories."
The silence stretched between us as I stood there glaring down at him. The bitter quiet punctuated only by the distant sound of the television in the living room, still broadcasting news about the alien vessel. I could hear the newscaster's voice droning on about government responses and emergency protocols, but the words felt meaningless now. Everything felt meaningless.
My dad—or at least the man I'd called my dad for years—cleared his throat. "There's more you need to know. More I need to tell you."