NOVEL NEXT Book 1 - Chapter 32 - Corduroy Crusader
Music blasted through Krusher Koven's concrete walls while a line full of intimidating people waited like little lambs to be let in. A crowd with middle finger stamps on the backs of their hands clumped together near the entrance. They were the ones already let in for the night, smoking cheap cigarettes to 'get some fresh air,' shouting bad jokes and exagerrated stories, and sneering their unbrushed teeth at anyone with a greasier leather jacket than them.
The Krushers were easy to spot by their red accents. A red glass eye here, a red nipple clamp there. One lady had lips so red and glowing Alex was sure it was some kind of lip based Skill.
God, don't these people know deodorant exists?
Alex and Mary approached, and he did his best to look like someone not smuggling a weaponized water bottle in his pants. A giant, bald bouncer scanned the crowd. He looked like he'd never lost a fight, and his veins had veins. He looked like a meat sculpture made for fisticuffs. Mary swayed confidently through the crowd and ignored the cat calls and leering jaundice eyes. Two guys with matching face tattoos passed a bag of white powder and dared each other to shovel more in their noses. An octopus Familiar puckered smooches against its owner's neck. To Alex, it felt like the sticky, unwashed armpit of the the System.
"Why does everyone look like they hate us for using soap?" Alex asked in Mary's ear as Zippy scanned everyone from her shoulder.
"Just look confident," Mary responded through a perfect smile. "We're skipping this bitch." She led them and strode with swaying hips up to the bouncer.
The bouncer's all pupil eyes, which Alex found particularly unsettling, dropped from the crowd onto Mary. She tilted her head and posed her body, and Alex tried not to let his eyes wander. The bouncer analyzed her like an actuarial scientist that was given the Captain America treatment. Then the world's smallest corner of his lip twitched and he stepped aside. He slapped a stamp on Mary's hand, and she rushed forward. Alex followed her firm grip, and immediately got stiff armed in the gut by an arm apparently made of steel.
"She's good," the bouncer said like a lumpy potato. "You? Twenty Credits."
"Twenty!? But I'm with her!" Alex wheezed. The bouncer just stood there and Alex could feel the man's veins. Yuck. He sighed and flicked the Credits over. Even with the System, club entrance rules remained the same.
[Credits: 283 -> 263]
The bouncer pulled his gargantuan arm and let Alex through after stamping his hand with a middle finger. "Nice pants, kid. Nice pants. Dig the corduroy."
"Oh…thank you!" Alex skipped at the compliment and hurried to catch up to Mary. She was already halfway inside the loudest, sweatiest chaos pit he'd ever seen. It was like a fist of humidity. Why was there a club for a couple hundred people and only one rusty ceiling fan?
It was all strobing lights, music that could concuss a mule, and a crowd of popper sniffing partiers dry humping each other to rave-tech and Skill activations. Some people had party Skills, and their eyes lit up with lazers, or they shot sparklers out of their mouth while they thumped to the too loud beat. Dancers writhed on floating platforms and the concrete floor was sticky. People openly did drugs off of each other's smelly fingers, and it all gave Alex the ick.
I can't believe I used to come here.
"Activate night mode, Zippy," Mary shouted over the noise. The drone took off from her shoulder so that Mary could 'see'. Meanwhile, Alex scanned the crowd…and there she was.
He knew Britanii would be here. It was her home turf and why he picked it for the cursed bracelet plant location. Half Krusher hang location, half Clan Hall, half club. He'd been there multiple times, back when she used to drag him along. She'd leave him at the bar to pick at his sleeves while she flirted with Krushers and tried to get in with them. He'd spend his meager Credits on under poured and watered down rail booze. Alex was definitely bitter about the whole situation, but when she'd kept pushing after their breakup, it was going to be sweet justice.
Right on cue, Alex spotted her in her favorite spot, but now sporting a red tank top to showed off her membership of the Krushers. She was behind the DJ booth with perfect red hair and dancing barefoot while she sloshed prosecco that she definitely didn't pay for. The heavy-browed goons around her cheered as she twirled. Of course she looked good, she always did.
Stolen story; please report.
Phase 3 of Alex's master plan: get your friend to start a fight.
"Right there, behind the DJ booth. You ready?" Alex shouted into Mary's ear. Zippy scanned and locked in on Britanii, and Mary turned to face him. She tilted her neck to crack it and rolled her shoulders.
"I got this," Mary said coolly. "Just going to go fight a bitch. Get a real good one in. Start a little chaos. No one fucks with my delicious lizard situationship or my friend. That's MY situationship to fuck up! I don't need any KRUSHERS HURTING MY BOYTOY." Before Alex could stop her, she was pushing through the crowd. Zippy flew ahead of her like a war drone made of repurposed screws. Alex took a breath and headed straight for the bar.
She's actually going to fight her, huh?
Phase 4 of Alex's master plan: snatch a beer bottle and pee.
—
BEEPY'S POV.
Beepy crouched low as he could at the edge of the alley and tried to avoid the stray loogies. Twice already he'd had to duck into the garbage pile when stumbling goons wandered into the alley for a piss. He swore the giant bald bouncer had locked eyes with him at one point. Those peepers saw too much. The cursed bracelet beat in his chest cavity like creepy crawlies. He didn't know how curses worked, but it felt like it was ready to pop inside of him.
OH NOOOOO, he thought in full caps robot voice. But he stayed still. He had a job to do for his mom, his brother, and his friend.
—
BACK IN THE CLUB
Alex flinched at the pinch on the back of his arm. The woman…no, the crone grinned up at him through layers of facial piercings, frown lines, and Relic makeup that tried to hide it all. Her leathery cleavage sparkled with swirling red tattoos and milky looking sweat. Probably some Krusher's mom or something. She winked at him, and Alex smiled as sweet as possible and shook his head, pushing deeper into the club. Someone shouted 'DROP IT!" and a cheer went up as a man wearing chainmail did two backflips by using some mobility Skill. The air stank of grime, chemicals, and moldy pits.
He scanned the bar and spotted what he needed. A drunk Krusher slammed his empty beer bottle without breaking it before stumbling off. The bar itself was painted black to hide its filth. A somehow sticky though wet counter was worked by three furious bartenders. An entire shelf of Dungeon Relic liquor way up top and probably out of the price range for most partiers. Alex rushed in like a raccoon and snatched the bottle. He streaked off towards the bathroom while dodging a man licking a chair and a woman bartering a whistling earring. No one noticed him, not the bartenders, or the Krushers. No one except that old lady, who licked her lips at watched him go.
"Nice ass," she said before turning to find some other youngin' to pinch.
Alex scampered towards the bathrooms and dodged a group of girls wearing caution tape and wrestling masks. They had pigtails, and one of them barked at him, which he definitely didn't flinch at. He shoved into the men's bathroom and the flapping door shut behind him.
Club bathrooms are always terrible, and this one was all green laminate, soggy wood, cheap cologne, amonia, and weirdly enough, there was the scent of burnt onions. Two dudes wearing assless chaps snorted some yellow powder off the stainless steel metal sink that never turned off. It was clogged with tissues and just looking at it was enough to make Alex gag. One of the dudes smiled and nodded at Alex in acknowledgment. It was a downward nod, the sign of 'I don't know you, but hello,' not the upward nod that people in Toronto gave when they knew someone.
He pushed into a stall, avoided looking at the toilet, and set the beer bottle on the empty thin paper dispenser. Steadying his breath, he pulled out the Stink Scrub that had been laying in wait tucked in his pants. The bottle sloshed in Alex's hand, the Stink Scrub yellow and thick like some fermented stew. He winced as a glob slapped the inside of the glass.
Just as he gripped the cap to untwist it, ready to pour some out into the beer bottle, he heard it…
"NO. FUCCCCCK YOU, YOU SKINNY BITCH!" Mary's voice pierced through the heavy rave tech music. The roar of the crowd was all he needed to hear that she had officially started her phase of the plan.
"Now there's my cue." Alex grinned like a man about to commit a heinous crime. With a twist, the bottle was unscrewed. A wave of horrific scent filled the wet stall. It was sour milk, goblin, acid, and sugar mingled together. He gagged and kept his bile down.
Then the bathroom door slammed open. "YO!" some guy shouted. "Two girls and a robot Familiar are fighting. Come on!" then he stopped mid yell. "EW! What the fuck is that smell!?"
He poured the vile liquid into the empty beer bottle as he heard the club chanting "Fight! Fight! Fight!". He knew Britanii and Mary would likely just yank on each other's hair and she'd be fine. Mary was tough as nails and a couple nasty tricks up her dress. He just hoped that Zippy was on his way, and Beepy was ready to go when all hell broke loose.
Phase 5 of Alex's master plan: Make two stink bombs and hope the boys are OK.
"EW!" One of the snorter's yelled and threw up into the sink. The others quickly followed suit.
Yeup, this is going to work, Alex thought as the liquid sloshed into the beer bottle.