Dungeons & Deliveries - A Post Apocalypse Comedy Adventure [Book 1 Complete]

Mary held up the colorful knit sweater and rubbed her face into it. "This is quality. Do you have any idea how rare enchanted wool is? This was knit by a master! The hands must have been all liver spots. It helps with the magic, you know? Must have been one cool grandma," She sniffed it deeply. "Smells like candy and tea. I want it. Can I have it?"

Though Mary couldn't see even with her Skill linked camera bot that hovered in the corner of her room and acted as her makeshift eyes, he was smiling at her and didn't want to argue or tease her. "You can have the vest. Consider it my tip and repayment for the GoCoin and for loot sorting duty." He slouched into Emilio who didn't seem to mind playing pillow for him. The giant gray cat groomed himself and even kept the crumpled paper party hat on his head. Mary and Emilio had been waiting to celebrate Alex's 'first big boy job day," when he got home.

Beepy, Mary's little lego handed bot, let out a toot from its one working speaker as Mary slipped off her ratty shirt and threw on the frankly ugly vest. Alex tried his best not to admire her out of politeness, as she couldn't see him looking. Beepy fell over what Alex thought was a bag of Golden Monster teeth from the Adventurers and then got tangled in Mary's strewn about cords.

Mary sat cross legged in the middle of the chaos of her room, surrounded by piles of clothes and circuit boards and jittering screwdrivers. Alex wasn't sure where his tip loot ended and her chaos began. Not that he minded. They had been at it for the better part of an hour and the sheer amount was astonishing. It was way more than he could reasonably keep. The Credits had been great, but selling the loot would truly bring in the big bucks.

Alex's eyes unfocused as he stared into the pile of nonsense he'd accumulated. So far, they'd uncovered a pocket watch that whispered unsettling compliments, a friendship bracelet looking thing that was made of bone and Emilio hissed at, and what was apparently a potion that completely cleaned all your organs out. Mary suggested he save that in the 'keep pile," to strengthen his Core when he had a day off. Most of it was probably useless except for its value, but they hadn't even gotten to what Alex hoped was the good stuff. He had a good feeling about Snu's velvet bag and the opal from the Garden Gnomes.

Do I text her?...

His stomach rumbled. Alex reached for the still-warm tupperware container nestled in Emilio's fur. Steam still drifted off the chicken parmesan that Nina had sent him home with. Oh the glory of magical food. Sweet tomato and basil, just a smidge of garlic, and goldeny cheese. He stabbed a plastic fork into the tender cutlet, bit into it, and then ascended to another plane of existence. Crunchy broad coating split to reveal juicy, perfectly seasoned chicken. The sauce had just enough tang to make his mouth water around the bite. He swallowed, and even though there wasn't a buff of notification, it was the best damn chicken parm he had ever eaten.

Guh.

Mary interrupted his reverie. "You're chewing loud enough to wake the dead." Alex couldn't speak. He was busy chewing . That was until something soft hit him in the face. It was a velvet pouch that smelled like actually nice perfume. It set his hair to standing up.

Mistress Snu's…

Mary had already snatched the bag back up and out of his reach. "This one's from her right? Your hot goth girlfriend? Smells good. REAL GOOD. Wonder what's inside…" She shook the pouch and it didn't jangle.

"She's not my girlfriend."

"You've got an in with a Succubus. I'd already be calling her my girlfriend if I got that opportunity. You should text her, like right now!"

"JUST OPEN THE DAMN BAG!"

Mary loosened the drawstrings and tiled the contents into her palm. Two objects fluttered out and into her lap. A single oversized lollipop…and a very, very frilly pair of black lace panties. Alex went red from the neck up. Emilio let out a growling purr and smacked his tail into Alex's side. Mary held them up and even though she was blind, she clearly knew what they were.

"Ohhohoho. You're so in, Alex. So in," she held them up for Emilio and the bots to see. "That isn't joke lingerie. Girls got taste. Not in guys of course, but in lingerie."

"Please stop touching those," Alex said as he sunk into Emilio's fur.

"[Investigate] them! INVESTIGATE THEM,"

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Well, he was curious. He threw an [Investigate] onto the panties.

[Mistress's Momento - Bronze Garment]

[If carried on your person, grants Charisma against all Lust-based Monsters and all Dungeon Bosses. May distract the holder.]

[Smells really nice. You should try it.]

[Yes this is an invite to text me.]

Alex's face got even redder. Mary cackled like a gremlin. "I love her. You have to text her. She's putting in work Alex. It's hard out there for a Dungeon Boss Girl, you know that."

After throwing an [Investigate] onto the lollipop, it was revealed to be just that. A slightly used lollipop. Mary took a fake dramatic sniff of the air and waved the panties around like a victory flag. "Look," she jammed a thumb to a dancing Beepy. "Beepy agrees. You have to text her. Show a little thigh, maybe. Those are at least tan. Tanned? Tan."

"I'll text her tomorrow," He stuffed another bite of chicken parm in his mouth stubbornly. "Going to play it cool, you know?"

"Yeah, nothing says cool like broke 20 year old guy being flustered over a girl's advances." Alex just sighed and rested his head on Emilio again. He was nervous to text Snu. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe. When he figured out where one actually took a Dungeon Boss out on a date. Could she even leave her Dungeon? He supposed so. Best be strategic about these things.

Mary made a noise of surprise. "Oooh? And this? What's this?" She pulled a dusty motor off a glimmer of blue light peeking through. "What the hell is this?" Mary pulled out the Opal and held it aloft.

Before he could even reach for it, Emilio moved. The giant gray cat turned into a blur of fur and strength as Mary yelped from Emilio climbing into her lap with twitching whiskers sniffing at the glowing gemstone. Alex threw an [Investigate] onto the Opal but it didn't reveal anything noteworthy.

[GnOpal]

"Emilio, no biting!" Alex warned his giant cat.

Emilio ignored him and chomped it out of Mary's fingers like a treat. It crunched and all the lights in the room flickered. A spark ran through Emilio's fur then jumped out and smacked Beepy in the head. The robot went tumbling with a 'Whee,". Emilio just stood stock still as he ingested what might have been a priceless Relic. Emilio didn't move for a long second. Then the cat let out a satisfied burp and followed it up with a crackle and pop from his back end. Sparks shot out across the floor and Zippy, the camera bot, buzzed and squeezed itself further into the corner.

"Hrmph," Emilio added. He then locked eyes with Alex. Really locked eyes. Not the normal 'feed me," stare, or the 'I'm going to knock this over," one. It was a knowing green eyed look.

"Emilio? You OK, buddy?" Alex leaned away. Emilio held the gaze a beat longer and then went back to sitting behind Alex as if nothing had happened at all. "Guess we'll keep an eye on him?" Alex asked Mary.

"Not funny, Alex," Mary responded as she dug through the pile. "Seriously not funny." She waved him off, still rummaging. For once in her life Mary looked up at him almost sheepishly. "Hey, uhh…do you like…need help selling all this stuff? I mean–we sorted through the stuff you're going to use, like that potion to clean out your Core, and that friendship bracelet when you really need to piss off someone, but most of this would just be better sold," she was beginning to rant and Alex smiled at her. He'd already been meaning to ask her for some help in that department.

"I could help you set up a MagiStore. Like a real one! Online, auctions, you know? Maybe for a small fee? It links straight to your Credits account…and maybe mine?" she trailed off while still poking at the tips. "Could run the back end for you? I mean we'd have to set up a Merchant account for you, but we can go tomorrow–and–"

"Mary," Alex interrupted her.

"Yeah?"

"That actually sounds perfect, but…," Alex got up from his Emilio pillow and started walking to the door.

"But…?"

"If I'm going to keep working at Nino's, we're going to need more space. And I mean a lot more space. I'm going to become the best damn delivery boy ever," he stopped at the door as Emilio rolled over onto his back. Looked like the big guy had claimed Mary's room for the night. His blind friend had clenched fists on some of the loot as she stared at him with her grey glass eyes.

She looks eager.

He didn't take any of the loot with him besides Snu's and the Core potion. He'd take it when he had time to clean out his insides. Hopefully the gains from the day would kick in overnight. He needed sleep badly, but first, he had to see if Mary was up for his idea.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" he asked.

"Tomorrow? Nothing, why? What are you thinking?"

" think I'm going to introduce you to an old friend. See if we can't work out a deal with him. Plus, I gotta pay him back for spotting me the StoneSword."

Mary agreed eagerly. Alex left her to catalogue everything as he went to his messy room. He needed to get stronger. Today had gone well. Insanely well. But he had almost died multiple times. He hadn't shared that or how his Core had nearly cracked or anything about Britanii. He'd been running on nervous energy and borrowed ravioli confidence for most of the day. Mary had been too excited about the loot and the party hat she'd found for Emilio. And that was fine. He preferred it that way. But tomorrow? And into the future? He needed to get stronger.

Please for the love of the System can I level up overnight? At least one Skill?