DIE TRYING [A Roguelite Extraction LitRPG]

It was like falling into a cloud of sand. A few thousand feelings of pinpricks came all across him at once, rough wind-blasted sand mixed with actual metal shards blowing right into his eyes, forcing them instantly shut.

Even for the few seconds he'd tried to keep them open, the entire world was rapidly diving into complete darkness.

He couldn't tell if he was sinking or not sinking, his body was being blown in all kinds of directions.

Which led to the second thing he noticed, or rather realized: He couldn't take a breath. If he tried to breath here, he'd get a lungful of mithril and sand particles. That couldn't be healthy. Maybe he'd survive the sand, but mithril was sharp metal shards, given the pinpricks he was feeling all over his exposed skin.

His hips, leg and everything else was already broken or rapidly on the way. Health wise he was a about three fourths, but his ability to jump and throw things was basically done for. Only thing he could make somewhat use of was his dodge.

He could sink through the sea, hit the ground with a dodge and then pray nothing was around to look for a nibble.

But Wade knew when to quit and go home. Even more so because he had a plan cooked up for this: Come back with flotation gear.

The boats here could float on this stuff. There was a way.

He'd be coming back here like a hawaiian tourist, minus the swimfins. But absolutely the arm floaties and goggles. Maybe strap balloons all over himself too.

And climbing gear. In case he still failed, and fell under the sea. But unlike right now, he'd be able to land and still move around, without broken hips and legs to climb the mountain with after.

He had enough coins to buy the dodge roll boon, he'd equip that and survive any fall in case plan A failed for tomorrow. He already had mana potions back home ready to use up and a meeting with Jason at three PM, so he wasn't worried for that part.

Only thing left was finding a way to kill himself in under thirty seconds before he sank fully under the sea. Or possibly ten seconds, time was a little difficult to track when he was blind, mute, deaf and spinning around in the eddies of a half-metal sandstorm.

And he did have a plan for this part too, else he wouldn't have jumped in feet first into hell: It was the Hyper-Weasel who had taught him this lesson. How it had pounced onto the rat, then snapped its neck. Even with a health bar above it while fully infested with the blackrot, that bite had still instantly killed the rat.

Which meant losing his head would kill him, even if he'd been at full health. The System's game-ification of a health bar had a lot of wiggle room. But in this case, he'd make use of it.

Wade fumbled at his belt, fingers blindly finding the familiar hilt of one of Illy's daggers. He gripped the dagger tightly, hands steady despite everything.

And then he got to work. First, he slashed at his other arm, triggering the damage debuff, but held onto the dagger itself. He'd need it for the second part of this.

Maybe he would have hesitated longer if he'd been somewhat sane or had time to think, but pure mania was in charge here. And he couldn't actually see the blade or anything about it, instead he just felt the hilt in his hand.

Just a quick bonk on my head. Real hard and fast.

He tried to forget he had a knife in his hand, and was just punching his head after realizing he could have bought a twelve pack of eggs for cheaper than the six pack he'd just bought. That he couldn't even open his eyes to check what was in his hand also helped out. That and the giant turbulence, adrenaline and fear of the entire situation around him, made it a lot easier to simply act than it really should have been.

There was a half second of sharp pain, too fast for his brain to comprehend before it completely vanished. Really, he could only tell he'd felt something retroactively thinking back.

The damage debuff triggered. His health bar went from three quarters of the way full right down to zero in a heartbeat.

He could also see again. In that odd out-of-body experience manner, hence why he could even retroactively think back on what he'd felt.

Wade watched with detached fascination as his own body crumbled, dissolving into ash that scattered among the mithril particles, while his clothing and gear equally scattered away into the sea, likely dropping down to the mountain under it. Those were a good pair of boots, but the rest he hadn't been carrying on him, Eri had. And he'd landed on the boat, so even if Eri vanished or something, the backpack would remain there on the bridge.

Wait. What if the demons stole his stuff?

The System message appeared first, in bold red letters right in front of everything.

YOU DIED.

The score screen came up next.

He got extra coins at the end of the round! Four possible, and he'd secured three! All right, not too bad. Looks like the game decided the majority of his time was spent in a lethal zone and compensated him to boot.

The system had clearly penalized him for having only four kills this time, but those kills were all high above his skill level. Although he only remembered three kills… but there had been a point in the fight with Lapushka where he lost track of what Eri was up to. Given that walking battle maniac was having the time of his life, or rather unlife, Wade wasn't surprised to imagine he had managed to rip something else up when he wasn't being watched.

Storefront coins: 8

Good amount. Possibly buy himself some of the store upgrades now. He'd try again tomorrow, with more gear, skills, spells. And have a better idea on where to put those extra skill points.

Just anything to stop thinking about how it felt to stab himself in the head.

Traveling to storefront…

Play's Storefront - Divine Realm
Sanctuary Zone

Planet earth below him was the first thing he saw. Massive, peaceful, sea and green land covered in white clouds above. Floating in the void of space. The sun was far off, lighting up the world below. Gravestones littering around him like stars, each holding onto a small memory that was important to Play in some way.

And far in the distance, was the soft light of Play's gremlin basement, same as it had been before. The moment he walked into that space, the world would materialize around him. Life would resume, in whatever strange way it worked today.

But right now? He could take a breather.

Maybe he should. Some part of him wanted to get off the hamster wheel, let it stop spinning for a moment.

There wasn't air here, and his spectral body - or whatever he was currently floating as - needed no air. But he still somehow let go of a deep sigh, then slowly sat down on the invisible ground. Feeling nothing at all.

His hip no longer hurt, nor did anything else about him. When he lifted his hands up, he realized he had none. Just some kind of glowing blob of human-shaped energy instead. He'd never noticed it last time.

It was just quiet and calm up here. Above the world.

…

He sat, and looked down on the world under him, slowly spinning as life continued down there.

"You're okay buddy." He whispered to himself, survival mode peeling off his shoulders one layer at a time. "You're going to wake up in a bit, and get that healing ring working some more. Get Jason and Ann back on their feet. You got a way out finally. Just focus on that."

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He felt something unknot just a little bit more deep within his soul.

"And then… you can make some serious cash. Setup Wade's Azdrial Smuggling Services." He stopped, imagining Illy's disapproving glare. "I mean Azdrial Transport Emporium, LLC."

The imaginary Illy next to him gave him a big thumbs up. A.T.E. did have a better ring to it than the former.

"And your first customers will be all the others stuck in that death city, they're gonna want climbing gear. Which you'll have on hand to loan out for reasonable prices. And the best part of this is that it'll all be tax free. Because the IRS has no jurisdiction on alternate worlds."

That part filled him with happiness.

He wasn't correct of course, American citizens always owed taxes regardless of where in the world they made it, but Wade was blissfully unaware of that point.

He nodded to himself, standing back up, pumping himself up at the thought, before turning to look over where Play was waiting.

The demon butler was crushing up empty energy drink cans before carefully placing them into a blue recycle bin he'd dragged into the sanctum here.

Play just threw them behind her, where they bounced off a wall he couldn't see, before landing behind the couch.

The rest of the mess were empty snack wrappers and half-eaten chips. A variety pack, several opened up for sampling, and then left opened. It looked like Zin had left her alone and unsupervised for under an hour and he'd returned to the expected warzone.

Wade started walking down the familiar path. Floating maybe. Getting closer for certain. Until he could hear them bicker.

"I leave for two seconds and when I come back, you somehow trashed even the ceiling. Is that gum? How did you get gum up there? Should I schedule the dumpster for its usual Tuesday appointment, or are we going for a Thursday speedrun this week?"

"Zinny, let's be honest here. This isn't anywhere near the worst it's been." Play said, flicking through different soap operas on her TV screen before settling on one show.

"Darling. Divine nightmare of my life. Don't take this the wrong way, but convenience store having a mid-life crisis isn't a decor choice. Unless you actually want to live in… all this?" He stopped, hand uselessly smoothing his hair back. "Rhetorical question. You're practically the patron deity of filth." Then his eyes turned to some of the anime figures all neatly presented in their display cases. "And degeneracy."

"Zinny, quit being dramatic. Pestilence has filth covered, but you'll have to ask him if degeneracy is part of his domain or not. A whittle innocent tiny goddess like me doesn't get to talk to a big boy god like him anytime soon."

"Right. As if you can't crush anyone you want now." Zin rolled his eyes, then tossed the last of the soda cans into the recycling bin, and looked around for a broom.

Wade passed the graveyard that surrounded Play's cosmic sphere. A moment later he stepped through and the walls all appeared around him just as they had last time.

"Well, well, look who decided to come back after stabbing himself in the head." Play's head immediately flopped backwards on the couch, now looking at him upside down from her position. She then turned on herself like a cat, one hand expertly clicking the pause button on her soap opera of the day in the middle of her acrobatics. "Creative exit strategy. I give it a seven out of ten for style, minus one point for desperation. And another for effectively scum-saving. I'm quite upset at you for that one, mortal."

"What?" Wade looked around, and Zin was at his side, putting his broom on the side of the wall, before handing over a folded up pajama set to the tired retail worker. Or soon to be ex-retail worker after he got back home and put in his resignation.

"Don't get her started on this one champ. Trust me." Zin said. "She hasn't shut up about it since you died earlier, and even going out to get her snacks hasn't shut her up."

Wade considered the warning. But curiosity got the better of him. "Why is she mad at me at all?"

"You had the perfect setup Michael! An entire field of untapped XP just waiting to be popped. Just drop through the sea and get to fighting things under it. Duh."

Wade grabbed the spare pajamas from Zin, shoved his legs and hands into it all, then pointed down at his legs. "Foot broken, leg broken, hip broken, even the System was showing me debuff after debuff. That run was scuffed the moment I fell off the cliff. Only reason I wasn't screaming in pain was probably sheer adrenaline shock. Plus I beat up a Nathir security golem. The big one! Plus another three of them overall! I think I did enough for one run, I believe in running with my winnings."

"Pfft, quit being a baby." Play waved dismissively. "Remember, Hell is blackrot central, which, I hear, can basically heal cancer."

"Yeah. By being bigger cancer." Wade said.

"Wake up mortal, we're not here to play games, we're here to play THE GAME." Play seemed dead serious now, as if this was the only thing that truly mattered to her. "It's day two, and we're about to snowball out of everyone's reach. Get to higher levels, pick on higher level enemies, rinse and repeat until nobody on Azdrial could pick a fight with you and win. Next time, lock in."

"Without a mithril collar to keep the blackrot from my brain? And zero plan on what to do next or how to get back up?"

Play rolled her eyes so dramatically her entire head moved with it. "Oh nooo, it's not like you were literally swimming in mithril particles that you could've fashioned into something useful."

"While half-blind, choking, and with multiple compound fractures," Wade folded his arms. "Plus, a bit of sprinkled on mithril sand-dust isn't going to repel jack shit from getting to my brain."

She looked offended. "It doesn't need to long term. Just a few hours until you get killed is all you needed. Rub some mithril all around your neck like sunscreen, you'd be just fine."

Wade flattened his glare. "I'm not a dumbass Play."

"Debatable. Zero intelligence stat, remember?"

"That doesn't measure actual intelligence! It's only how easy I control mana, and you know this you little troglodyte. And once I'm back home, I'm going to invest in that and prove it."

She just grinned at him, now bouncing on the couch. "Oh hoo so someone's been thinking about where to put those three points, eh? But I wouldn't recommend intelligence"

"And why's that?"

"Well, are you planning on casting magic and attacking things with it in your next round?"

He wasn't, all the mana he wanted to save would be for healing Ann and Jason first. Maybe later rounds, once he had access to easy mana, he'd start trying out spellcasting. Sure, dumping his points into intelligence might not be the best short-term plan, but it wouldn't hurt long term either.

Plus, one of his great advantages with the System and being able to come back to life each time, was that he could go all out spellcasting and then just die without issue.

Play had to know that, which is why she wasn't giving him that much shit right now. More just being obnoxious to be obnoxious.

"Eh, I'm certain you'll respec your points later on in the game when you see a really good combo come around~"

"It costs coins Play. Even one coin's a massive expense."

"Not if you snowballed out of control. Which could have happened if you'd just went into Hell and picked a few more fights."

Wade rolled his eyes. "I would have landed, and then gotten eaten within the minute." He turned to Zin, "Back me up here, that place was your old home right? What's your advice as a native?"

"It's pretty terrible down there, not going to lie to ya. I woul-" He stopped, as he realize Play was staring him down, and then coughed in his white gloves. "You're getting your panties in a twist here champ, it's not that bad, nothing you can't take care of."

Play pointed right at the demon, as if her point was now judged objectively correct.

"You weasely little boot-licker." Wade hissed, betrayed. "I thought you had my back."

"Listen sunshine, friendship is a beautiful thing, but it doesn't fill my stomach or fill my contraband collection, if you get my meaning."

"You just want me to bring you magical ketamine back from my trips." Wade snapped back.

"Drugs, mana crystals, divine energy drinks, honestly, kid, I'm an equal opportunity contraband enthusiast. So at least bring something useful back next time. I'd rather just about anything besides what Play feeds me."

"Bathwater too fancy for you?" Wade hissed.

Zin looked like he was about to gag. "Oi. That's a low blow. Very low blow."

Play cackled. "You really think you could get my minion to back you up? The audacity. Do you know who pays his paychecks?"

"Enlighten me on what good you do." Wade said, finishing the last button on his pajamas.

She waved the TV remote around in the air. "Magic healing ring and free clothing," The remote went on to be used as a pointer for Wade's new Pajama set. "All thanks to the grace and mercy of moi. And my adorable faithful butler doesn't get hunted down by half the population and also gets meaningful employment. See?"

"Meaningful employment?" Zin cracked a ragged sort of half-strangled laugh. "Fascinating rebranding strategy."

"Oh shush you, you act like I don't feed you anything at all."

"You feed me the equivalent of fumes and pocket change. Not that I'm asking for more, mind you, strands of hair is not exactly fine dining."

He had told him before gods were made of basically raw power, so even a small strand of hair could keep him going for a while.

"I am such a generous goddess." Play preened, sitting back down on the couch with another quick hop.

Wade pushed down the sleeves of his pajama shirt, so that now it all fit him fine. "Look, I don't care anymore. I'm here to spend coins and get back to Earth. I've got a plan in my head and I need a headstart into it as soon as possible. Actually, how exactly does it work? If I died early on in the round, does that mean I'm waking up earlier in the night?"

Play waggled her hand side to side. "Everyone comes back home at the same time. That's what the rules said, the System can do it."

"How?" Wade asked, "That doesn't make any sense."

Play's grin spread out wide. "How about you buy a storefront upgrade, and I'll tell you after for being a good boy?"

"Fuck you for the good boy comment, but otherwise you have a deal." Wade said, hand outstretched.

Play took it and shook it.

The list of options once more showed up, all waiting for him to pick from.

The dodge boon cost him five coins, which he immediately picked.

He did feel better about that. The lightning dodge had a lot of abuse potential, and it was only held back by the limited stamina issue. If he could solve that in the future, he'd be dangerous.

Boon Roster:

Lightning Dodge (Common)

Skyviper Archer (Uncommon)

Ah. Right. He could only pick one. The lightning dodge was now highlighted as equipped, while the Skyviper Archer was grayed out.

"It's free here in the storefront to change them up, right?"

Play nodded, attention on her TV now. "Moment you step into Earth, it's all locked in. Unless you touch on that fountain of power your Scottish rogue picked up, think that one lets you one more chance to change it up."

Wade reached a hand out to the interface, and tapped the archer boon. It lit up, highlighted again. The lightning dodge went grey in response. He tested he could do this as many times as he wanted. "Right. So now to pick which one to bring with me next."

And this kind of choice really required him to know what he was going to walk into the next round with. That said, he knew he had to choose the lightning dodge for the next round, since he could run the risk of falling through the mithril sea, which meant he needed a way to survive the fall. Technically, he could just gamble and save the coin for something else.

But that would also stop him from having an entire day on Earth to prepare his strategy and practice ways to abuse whatever boon he got.

He opened up the storefront upgrades, and scrolled all the way to the top.

Unlock Early Access Boon - 1 Coin

Wade pressed the buy button, and got an immediate System message:

Common Boon gained: Water Mastery

He read the description. Then re-read it just to be sure he wasn't hallucinating.
Well. Good thing he got this early.
Because he was going to need the whole day on Earth to figure out a plan for this.