DIE TRYING [A Roguelite Extraction LitRPG]

Wade hadn't gone down without a fight. Unfortunately, by the time his true revelation came, he was already being held tight on Leon's shoulders, and the giant had zero pity or mercy when it came to his strangled pleading.

"We'll fecking go back for it after the golems are done looking around here and leave." Illy said, rolling her eyes.

"What if that's the time limit?!" Wade called back, panic in his voice. "What if that's the actual reason it's got a quest attached to it? There's got to be a risk to reward ratio."

"If the System really did give ye a quest for the fecking box, and expected you to duck, dive and sneak it out under the golems, wouldn't it give you something better than just gold?"

Wade didn't understand. "What's better than that much gold?"

"A storefront coin for starters ya turnip! Something actually worth its weight in... nevermind. Disregard that thought."

If it really had been that dangerous, perhaps the System would have offered a coin in exchange. It was doing that for the demonic fishing boat after all. So was the despawn timer at the end of the round then? In that case, coming back after was certainly possible.

"It not give time limit." Leon said, still carrying the struggling Wade over his shoulder. "Probably means lootbox despawn at the end of the round. Otherwise, why not giving time limit to add more pressure?"

"That is a fair point." Wade conceded, mostly because trying to escape Leon right now was clearly impossible, and Wade needed to find hope and delusion in the nearest idea he could. "We'll go back for it after, right?"

"Depends bampot. Whit you plannin' on doing with the chest to get your money out of it?"

"I'll drag it to the nearest pawn shop or gold exchange and sell it there." He stopped, then frowned. "Direct deposit into my bank, I'm not dumb."

"Not dumb he says." Illy gave the world's most exaggerated eye roll and groan. "Leon, you know any way so that the yank don't give us all up on day two? Yer the expert Wade Wrangler."

"Okey." Leon hummed, thinking, options going through his mind on how to best tackle this situation before he settled on the answer. "Wade, my friend. You living in Los Angeles, da?"

"I am." Wade said with clear suspicion on what was coming next.

"What happen if dragging gold chest on sidewalk in middle of LA all the way to pawn shop?"

Wade crunched the numbers and came up with one answer. "Ah fuck."

"And even if making it to pawn shop with chest unrobbed, you know who else find out about using paperwork filed? Who else may come asking for a 'smol' transaction fee..."

Wade outright hissed, folding in on himself. Sales taxes.

Leon nodded, then gave his captive a few pats on the back. "There we go, devushka. American handled."

Certainly an indestructible pure gold treasure chest had other issues attached. In that truly pure 100% gold is basically impossible, and it being indestructible would mean unmeltable. They'd have to deal with more than the IRS real fast. As in the entire scientific community. But Leon knew the right tool for the right job. He was trying to speak to the living embodiment of a cash register, so he'd need to make the matching arguments.

"Yer really too good at that." Illy said, trotting to the side.

Leon just shot her a crooked looking grin.

"So, we'll get the lootbox for the yank after we handle the boat and everything." Illy lied as she breathed. "And if we don't manage to, well, least you know the IRS isn't going to get their cut o' your pie neither. Sound good?"

It did somewhat mollify Wade. If he couldn't win, at least the taxman also didn't.

The walk back to the mountain entrance had felt more like a wind down from all the havoc recently. They had a secure escape route, gotten out of the death city, and now knew to contact each other on Earth, and had planned on even what apps to get for that. Plus Wade had plenty of get-rich-quick schemes he was dying to try out.

The demon boat at the bottom of the mountain remained where it had been. Tied up to the mountainside, bobbing up and down on the clouds. Selena and Eri had kept watch, ready to report if anything off happened down there.

The two gave small greetings as the three humans came back out into the pale light. And didn't ask any questions on why Wade was being carried back like a captive.

They organized one last time, preparing gear and finally it was time to confront his fears.

"You know, if a boat can float on the clouds there, could we swim inside the mithril sea? Hypothetically speaking." Wade asked. "How fast would we actually sink through?"

Selena waggled her ears a few times, looking down at the faraway boat. "I wear armor, the weight will drag me through the sea with hardly any resistance. As for yourself and the others, there is some natural buoyancy. The height and speed at which you impact the sea will be a factor. You will sink through the clouds, not instantly however. I would estimate perhaps half a minute before you cross and fall on the other side."

"So not enough time to even think about swimming."

"I hear sailors use rope tied around their waists, large wings, or equipment."

Wade squinted, and his glasses let him see far enough for some details. They did have rope attached to their waists, like a belt. That settled that.

You want my advice again? ♡(>ᴗ•)

"Play, I swear, if you say something annoying, I will pay to borrow Leon's hammer for some PC redecoration." Wade said, looking over the phone.

That got the eyebrows up from the group around them. "Shite, the yank's serious if he's coughing up actual money."

The phone remained silent. And then finally buzzed.

It's not the fall you need to worry about. It's rolling uncontrollably down the slope. If that happens, dodge roll up the mountain asap. Not into the mountain, up the slope. That'll reset your speed and give you a chance to get your footing again.

Wade stared at the phone, at the actually useful advice there. Wow, I need to threaten to break her PC more often.

If you do fall in the mithril sea, you can't use any magic to escape. It all gets eaten. But your dodge roll isn't magic, it's the System. It'll work anywhere, even in the middle of the sea.

How to train your NEETess 101. The good should be rewarded, and the bad meant immediate exposure to sunlight. Or finding a way to disconnect her room's ethernet wires. That'll probably be just as effective.

Also, don't fall lol

"…I'll allow it, this time." Wade said, putting the phone back into his pocket. Violence can be set aside, as a treat for good behavior.

Okay! We're scaling down now. Wade mimed to the demon pair in the typical game of charades.

SURE. REMEMBER: DON'T FALL BRO

"Sounds like normal Play advice to me." Wade rolled his eyes, then turned to Illy. "You think she'd get along with these guys?"

"Not a chance." Illy immediately said. "Those two are outdoors fishing. They're the type that touch grass, Wade."

Yeah hard pass. Going outdoors is for normies (〃￣ω￣)ゞ

Illy slapped her cheeks a few times to get the blood flowing. "Right you lot, enough chit chat. They're down there waiting for us, so no point in stayin' up here waiting alone. Better we go down as a team where I can watch the lot of you up close and help out."

Wade looked over the edge, but he'd been growing more comfortable with the hill here. It wasn't really that steep. Play's advice was also solid, "I can probably go down, assuming we take it easy and breaks. Still have a limp right now."

Selena waggled her ears. "I will have no issue descending down this. In the worst case, I can glide downwards with some agency, although I would rather that be a last resort. And while I have a mana crystal active within me, it is isolated from the mithril with my body protecting it. The climb after would be more... difficult, however at the very least I would survive the fall itself."

Eri clicked his jaw once. Wherever Wade went, he'd go. Besides, he'd already died once. Every hour he lives is a gift that keeps giving.

The group turned to Leon, who looked extremely uncomfortable.

"Selena, how about you stick here with Leon?" Illy suggested. "I'll climb down with Wade and Eri, we'll barter for a mana crystal that's full, and I scale back up and hand it off to you. After that, you grab Leon and fly him down. I can scale back down easily after."

"Lady Illy, that would require you to be climbing up and down the cliffside multiple times over. I stress that this is a poor idea."

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The Scot waved her away. "I could climb this one in my sleep. I'm trained for this, knife-ears. The others aren't, I'd be more worried for the yank."

They debated a bit more, back and forth, but the order was basically set from there on. They considered getting the skeleton to carry Wade the whole way, with Wade attached to his back like a backpack. Problem was that the skeleton might be the worst of the four at climbing - Eri couldn't feel anything in his hands at all. So if he grabbed the wrong handhold, the weight of Wade, his sword, and the backpack could all cause him to fall if he'd held onto something too loose. Wind was another factor, a strong gust hitting at the wrong time when Eri had a poor grip would spell doom.

Illy didn't think it'd be a high chance, but the chance wasn't zero either. Best they go slow and steady instead and use Eri like a backup climber that might help Wade get balance back if he got stuck or slipped, rather than attempt a more dangerous shortcut.

"Wade, give your backpack to Eri so that you're as light as you can be, try not to die and follow exactly where I go, got that? Eri, you're last since you can just jump if things go tits up and Featherfall yourself down there. Did I miss anything?"

They all shook heads, and Illy strolled over to a further off corner Wade hadn't seen, then started the descent there.

The mountain really wasn't as steep as a cliff. Sure, Wade could take a step forward and fall down, but he'd only fall for a second or two before landing against the slope. The real problem was what Play had warned him of: Uncontrollable rolling.

It'd be like one of those golden eagle videos, where they'd shove off some poor goat off their mountains, rolling down for a good two minutes.

He didn't have phobia levels of fear, but watching a massive unending landscape here would have been much more scenic with a giant wall of glass and paid parking.

Still, he did his best and followed behind Illy, taking small gambles and holding on for dear life each second.

He tried imagining he was back in Hobby Froggy's on a ladder, putting display stock higher up on the shelves. The decorative ones that aren't expected to come down anytime soon. And technically, the cliff here was a lot less steep than a ladder. If only he had safe railings and other gear that would remove the fear aspect of all this, the view here was quite beautiful all in all.

Thinking of that got him on a tangent. A simple loop. Follow Illy behind, grab the rocks she did, take breaks when she called for it, and otherwise daydream about setting up a luxury resort lodge in hell here somehow. Imagine charging one hundred a pop for admittance. View of absolute paradise out there. Maybe not paradise.

'Hell of a view' would be a good slogan.

He should take a job in real estate. Wade was sure he'd get rich.

The vegetation here got him a little freaked out at first. Things that looked like mussels and clams started opening up, unfurling purple leaves and stocks. Basking in the dim light. But anytime he brushed his hand over any of the leaves, the entire thing would get sucked back into the shell, after which it closed up.

Were these even plants? Or animals of some kind? "Is any of this venomous or something?" He called down to Illy.

"Doesn't seem like their defense strategy. Probably more that wildlife here has adapted to the environment."

He felt his phone buzz in his pants but Wade was too focused on keeping his hands firmly held onto the rock faces. Play will just have to wait.

"See, if there's constant waves blowing tons of metal shards all the time, figure that'd be bad for thin and fragile leaves y'ken?" Illy said. "Shells or hiding in cracks would be the best choice."

Well. So long as it didn't attack him, he was fine with it. Plus it made the entire mountain start looking populated. Like a little blooming cliff of plants, life showing up, waving in the air, occasionally getting shy. Looked a little like moving coral, with an imaginary wave passing by. When one plant retreated into their shells, all the others nearby were likely doing the same, making this entire place feel alive in a way only an underwater vision would match.

He could install a few cliffside spa's or something, have a nature documentary crew film something. Pair that up as a massive tourist advertisement in disguise. That'd do great. Have someone like Attenborough narrate it all. Perfect.

An infinity pool and hotel here would also be excellent. Oh yeah, that's where the money is baby. He'd overcharge all the guests on cheap wine, maybe hire a few of the demons down here to act as exotic guides.

A full dock setup down here for a tour system. 'Go fish out in the exotic mithril sea of hell, VIP package to include fishing gear free of charge.'

Another ten minutes later of steady progress and growing daydreamed delusions, Wade was getting more comfortable with it all. Illy was guiding them through some route that was clearly the slow way, but none of the movements she made were difficult or particularly dangerous. They were halfway to the boat now.

She often called for breaks, both to let Wade rest his limp, and allow her to warm her feet up. Breaks tended to be on larger stones, or sections of cliffside that were flattened enough he could sit down without fear. During such breaks he noticed more things about this wet mountain, when he brought a clump of dirt up in his hand to look deeper at it.

Things were wiggling freely inside the mithril sand, flea like crabs shifting through. About the same size as his fingernail, with the general shape matching up too. Six little armored legs on the underside, with four smaller claws at the front methodically scooping up sand, rubbing it all over their face as if cleaning it, before dolly chaining it under their shell with their other legs, spitting it back out in a neat little ball of wet sand.

Like woodlice eating through the new freshly blown terrain. The little crab things didn't want anything to do with Wade, since the moment they sensed something bigger or even a shadow, they'd burrow down into the sand and probably crawl into the dirt and rocks. The pace continued, with Eri forming up the rear rank.

Wade reached for his next handhold, a large rock that looked solid enough. His fingers wrapped around it... and he felt the dirt under tear away.

Belatedly he realized he'd grabbed a mollusk instead of the rock Illy had grabbed herself on the way down. The amount of plant growth here made it hard to see, and the shells felt the same as any other rock.

It had been clearly evolved to hold tight against heavy winds, not the weight of one panicked retail worker.

So it gave way with a wet sucking sound all at once, and Wade fell straight down still holding onto it.

His first thought was to scream. His second thought was the deep physical realization he was falling.

He felt his hip hit something hard, bounce him off. Then his left leg. His world spun.

A new debuff was applied: Broken hip.

A new debuff was applied: Broken leg.

A new debuff was applied: Sprained ankle.

At that point he had the presence of mind to stop screaming and use his boon to dodge roll up the mountain.

It worked exactly as it said on the description. His body went into an animation lock, feet not digging any rut into the ground under him despite his prior speed. It was like his inertia had vanished completely.

One moment he was rolling uncontrollably down, and the next he executed a perfect dodge roll up.

Two hands scrambled for a hold the moment the animation ended, gravity going back for seconds on him. He got lucky here, his right hand grabbing hold of a wet rock hard enough to stabilize him. His healthbar had dipped a good fourth downwards. Although he felt a lot more roughed up.

He belatedly noticed Eri zipping far under him, feather-falling on the side of the mountain. The skeleton had jumped out for him, planned his direction, and Wade's use of a dodge roll ruined that plan.

The skull looked up at Wade, as he looked back down, both of them missing each other by only a few feet. At this rate, Eri would land against another section of the mountain.

And then a wind blew Eri off course, out into the wide air, sailing over the mithril sea.

Eri immidiatly went on the offensive here, unhooking his greatsword in midair, then holding it above him like the world's worst hanglider, angling it physically to catch some of the turbulent wind further off the cliffside.

Wade wasn't sure the plan, until he looked down and realized the demonic boat was far closer than it had been a while back. They'd been making good progress.

Eri caught a tailwind, soaring far out, and even up slightly as the gust passed by, before he angled himself and steered backwards. Until he was somewhat above the boat. It was barely working.

Then the skeleton canceled his spell and went plummeting straight down in a calculated arc.

As fortune would have it, Eri landed hard on the boat deck, just slightly off the starboard side. Wade could see his health bar had dropped from that, but not significantly.

The two demons looked stunned as they watched the skeleton get back on his feet, then crack his neck slightly before rolling a shoulder to test things were still working.

The pair then looked at each other.

Then up at Wade.

"Hells human, that's some serious control you got on your minion!" The goat looking one called out to him. "Dunno how you pulled it off, but that's gonna make a story for the wifes later! You doing okay there scamp?"

"NO!" Wade yelled back in demonic. "I AM NOT OKAY. AT ALL."

Good that Eri managed to float all the way to the boat, the skeleton probably had a great little adventure with that, but on his part, Wade was stuck on a spot just above a very vertical drop. And now he was properly terrified. There wasn't any easy handholds he could see.

"Wade!" Illy called out, now far above him. "How long can you hold on?!"

He had a good hold, but it wasn't a strong one. His fingers were trembling already. Why? He'd been fine just a moment ag- oh. The cost of the dodge roll. Half his stamina. Which would include his finger grip. Even if a dodge roll should have physically only caused his legs to work instead of his fingers, the body-wide debuff/buff issue was a double edged blade and this time the math didn't favor Wade.

He cycled through possible solutions before he fell off the cliff down through the sea.

Maybe those three extra points he was saving for intelligence should be put into strength?

That'd buy him some time. But for what plan? Best they could do is get some kind of rope thrown up at him. Or he'd need to tarzan his way after that thing.

His fingers started burning. The rest of his body was seriously not doing good right now.

"The mithril sea would let me float for a bit right?" He called down to the boat.

The imp looking one gave a warning hand sign. "You don't got wings or anything to swim inside there human, you'll go right through like a sinker. Gotta find a way to climb down."

"Can you get the boat moving nearby here? Maybe I can jump down, land in the sea and grab some rope off the side!"

"Not gonna work, it turns pitch black not even a foot inside the sea. Trust me, unless that rope is tied to you, it'll be like trying to find a sand flea in a storm! You'd be fucked!"

Well, he was already fucked as it was.

"Climb up!" Illy called out, "There's an easier path if you can get your ass up higher! I can get to ye and drag you up myself if you make it there," She pointed at a patch.

He looked up, and realized he'd need to scale a pretty harsh set of vertical rockface. Part of the reason he'd broken so many bones rolling downhill here. There were some heavy drops.

He tried to push himself up anyhow, and found his biceps were struggling.

"Can't!" He called out. Every part of his body had taken that fifty percent stamina hit. Biceps, fingers, legs, all of it.

He could try to jump down, dodge roll back into the cliffside to get a better position. But looking down, he didn't see any other good spot to grab onto. This was far off the route Illy was taking for a reason. His fingers were really starting to fail him, tiring out faster.

Density. Preparation. Climbing gear. Rope. Selena and flight. Eri and freefall. All of it circled Wade as he tried to figure a way out.

Then he had a crazy idea.

Simple really. If he was going to fall into the mithril sea eventually, might as well do it on his own terms. He called out to the others, detailed the plan, and then decided to go through with it anyhow.

Worse that could happen, the plan doesn't work and the next few days are going to be an absolute pain.

First he'd fall through the sea down, and probably hit the ground at lot earlier than predicted, since this is a mountain. He'll then use his dodge boon to avoid dying, and put an end to his momentum.

From there, find a good spot to camp out. Or get infected by blackrot and start the process to climb up the mountainside. Maybe this far up there wasn't any critters with blackrot. So he'd be alone on the mountainside, die off, buy some mountain climbing gear on earth, dump points into strength and then scale his way back up through the mithril sea the day after.

But if his plan worked, he might just make it onto the boat without having to spend all his points into strength.

Just think swimming pool. People do this all the time.

Well no, people didn't do this all the time because that wasn't a swimming pool, that was a completely untested hypoth- "Not what I need to be thinking of brain, turn off please. It's a swimming pool, that's all it is, and I'm going to cannonball into it."

It was a swimming pool, and there were loads of people everywhere here, including old friends shouting at him to not be a little coward and just cannonball in.

Wade took a few more breaths, trying to psych himself up. "All right Wade, any last words?" He muttered to himself, looking down at the mithril sea. Then he closed his eyes, and hissed back at himself. "… Yeah, I really wish I had a better goddamn idea than this."

He pushed off the cliff as hard as he could, directly into a freefall dive, feet first into hell.