Dial H for Heroics

Josie held Lorelei’s hand as they crossed back into the elven kingdom. Bob walked on the other side, glittering in his armor. Two lines of pike men stood on the sides of the road up to the castle.

“This is impressive,” said Josie.

“The Court doesn’t want to lose a princess they just got back, mum,” said Bob.

“That’s good to know,” said Josie.

Lorelei still wore her old man clothes, but she looked like a young girl with pointed ears and long sliver hair. Her eyes had varied streaks of color that changed when she moved her head to look at something.

“I can’t believe you convinced my father to change his mind,” said Lorelei.

“I don’t know if I did,” said Josie. “Forcing Cuttrees to admit he was trying to scam his way to the top was enough to vacate the charges, but you still might not get your titles back, or be back in line of succession. I could only do so much without taking a hammer to your dad’s hard head.”

“At least you didn’t turn his ears into bags for holding marbles,” said Bob.

“Bob helped clear you,” said Josie. “If he hadn’t stalled Cuttrees, things could have gone differently.”

“I always hated him,” said Bob.

“You did well,” said Josie. “Let’s go in and see what the king says. I hope he gives you back your stuff, but if he doesn’t, we have to think about the second best option.”

“The second best would be the titles of the courtiers that were arrested,” said Bob. “That would be several duchies of their own.”

“Cuttrees’s land is the Dire Wood, isn’t it?,” said the princess. “Anything around that would have roving packs of monsters eating anyone who dared to travel by themselves.”

“Let’s get through this meeting,” said Josie. “Maybe some of the other lands are more pleasant.”

They walked through the castle, courtiers and guards everywhere. Most bowed to Lorelei as she passed. One of them, a maid in black and gold, said something that no one heard. The princess nodded at her.

“That was Kalia,” said Lorelei. “The stolen broach belonged to her.”

“She looks down,” said Josie. “I guess it’s not everyday you get used to frame a beloved public figure and told to keep quiet or else.”

“I don’t blame her for what happened,” said Lorelei. “She didn’t instigate the search through the castle. My sister did.”

“I don’t think the king wants you to do anything about that either,” said Josie.

“I know,” said the princess.

The guards pushed open the doors to the throne room without being told this time. Bob nodded at them as he passed. He had glimpsed at what his human companion could do with her artifact. Two guards would not stop her if she wanted to go somewhere.

The King and Queen sat on their thrones. The siblings stood around them. No one else was in the room. Josie and Bob hung back to let the family reunite. They had done what they could, but in the end it was up to the King to make amends for what had been done.

Lorelei knelt before the throne.

“Daughter,” said the king. “I cannot reinvest you with the titles that has been taken from you. I cannot add you back to the line of succession in your former place. I cannot do anything but lift up your exile and allow you to take up your former quarters in the castle.”

“So you aren’t going to pay her back for the disastrous lack of judgement you

displayed?,” asked Josie. “I can’t believe this.”

“There are rules, human,” said the King. “Are you not expected to abide by your Society?”

“I don’t know,” said Josie. “I think they have only one rule and they use extortion to make sure it gets done. Your Highness, I feel that my client is due something out of this miscarriage of justice. The Society only wants her to be reunited with you, and yours. I want her to come out of this better than what she was before she went in. I feel like she should be invested in all the titles of the court people that I beat down. I think that’s fair.”

“She could hold those lands, but she would not be royalty,” said the King.

“She would be a duchess?,” asked Josie.

“I think that, or a baroness,” said the Queen. “She would have to come up with her coat of arms, and secure her new lands.”

“Do you mind if we confer for moment, Your Highnesses?,” said Josie.

“Be our guests,” said the King. He waved his hand for them to go ahead.

“I nailed about five to ten guys,” Josie whispered as she and the two elves huddled. “There’s no way all that land is contiguous. I think they’ll go for it, thinking you can’t run all the lands yourself. Do we back down, or ask for connecting lands?”

“I think if we don’t take what’s offered, we’ll be worse off than we are now,”

said Lorelei.

“So we need a list of these titles and where they are,” said Josie. “I don’t know how long I will be roaming around, but I’ll set up a thing where you can call me if you need help.”

“All right,” said the former princess. “Let’s gird up our loins and do what must be done.”

“Father,” said Lorelei, approaching and kneeling at the thrones. “Your Majesty, king of elves and ruler of all you survey. I will take up the responsibilities that you hand me. I will do my best to bolster the realm.”

“Daughter,” said the King. “Stand. We have acted hastily, and wish you to know we regret the actions performed. These are your new lands. Guard them well.”

Ribbons of light wrapped around the new nobility. She stood taller, her clothes

becoming something that glittered in the light. A ring with an emerald the size of a thumbnail wrapped around her finger. The spell cleared and Josie smiled at the ding her system gave her.

“Makes your eyes teary,” said Bob in a whisper.

Josie smiled at his face.

“You are so softhearted,” said Josie. “Maybe the new duchess could use a new captain of the guard.”

“That would never happen,” said Bob.

“Josie Fox,” said the King. “Approach the throne.”

Josie took a spot next to Lorelei, hand on her watch. She forced her face to be neutral so she didn’t show what she thought.

“You have gone above and beyond your duty to your Society,” said the King. He held up a hand to forestall any protests. “We both know this to be true. You have saved my daughter from exile, my other daughter from a proposed courting, and my kingdom from a rebellion. You are entitled to a reward.”

“Your Highness, Mrs. Your Highness, Highness Kids,” said Josie. “The only thing I need is an archery teacher, and my friend, Bob should be allowed to serve the new duchess until they can’t stand each other any more. I think that he deserves some accolade for saving the day, and Lorelei is going to need a protector now that I have to turn my attention to the rest of what I have to do. If you need me, call on me until I go home again.”

“Your Society will permit this?,” asked the Queen.

“They only seem to care about what they want being done, ma’am,” said Josie. “If I have a chance to help someone above and beyond, they don’t seem to care. I’m sure they will talk to my partner and I about stacking these quests like we have been doing, but that’s a matter for the future.”

“I will see about this request for an archery teacher,” said the King. “Robert, come forward.”

The infantryman came forward and knelt. He braced his polearm against his shoulder so it wouldn’t fall on the sitting couple.

“Would you agree to being knighted and accompanying our daughter to her new duties, Robert?,” asked the King.

“I gave my oath to defend the realm,” said Bob. “I would gladly go with the Duchess in the furtherance of that oath.”

“Rise, Robert, Knight of the Dire Woods,” said the King. Light bound him to his knight for a moment. “You have performed your duty, and this is more duties for you to undertake.”

“Thank you, Your Majesty,” said Sir Robert. “This is more than I would have thought possible.”

“Thank you, Father,” said Lorelei. “Thank you, Mother. I love you both.”

Josie stepped back. The family wasn’t quite whole, but it was almost patched. The siblings would be the ones to watch in the coming years.

And if she hung around long enough, she could show them why she was the elf ear ripper of justice.

She didn’t have a problem with that at all.

She hoped the princess would do well with her new start. And this might have been what the Society wanted when they ordered her and Jack to deal with this. They couldn’t possibly have seen Cuttrees being an improvement over what was on the ground and working.

She never thought of herself as an agent for the greater good before. She wondered why they even thought she would play ball, but knew she was as predictable as a season.

No one could rip the ears off elves as well as she could.

Josie went to stand by the door. She needed to build a messenger for the princess so she could assist Lorelei and Bob if they got into trouble with their new holdings.

The King and Queen hugged their daughter. Diamond tears dripped from their eyes. Bob hung back, holding on to his pike. He didn’t look comfortable in a crowd of emotions.

Josie smiled. She had done what she could. She hoped she had made a better future for them.

“Sir Robert,” said the King. “I charge you with the protection of my daughter. Do not disappoint me.”

“Sir, I will do everything in my power to keep her safe,” said Bob. “If I can’t, it will be because I am already dead.”

“You had better be,” said the King.

“Yes, sir,” said Bob. He saluted.

“I think I have to figure out what my lands need,” said Lorelei. “I will send

you letters to show my progress.”

“We will visit,” said the Queen. “Do as much as you can before we do.”

“Yes, Mother,” said Lorelei. “Come, my knight. We have to visit our domains and see what needs be done.”

Josie opened the doors and stepped outside the throne room. She needed to set up Lorelei with a letter to call her for help. She doubted a takeover of the

rebel lands would be as smooth as everyone thought.

Once she was done with that, she had to check on the ducklings and Jack.