NOVEL NEXT Chapter 391: Fine Stick Of Meat
And just when things already seemed as if they couldn't get any worse, with Julie gripping her sword hilt like she was ready to knock him out, Aisha clutching her wand and glaring at him with that no-nonsense look, and Skadi staring at him as if bracing herself for him to suddenly lunge, the situation turned even stranger.
A slow, amused voice, weathered by age, floated out from the shadows.
"Oh my, oh my…" The voice older than stone and sharper than steel cut through the clearing. It was deep yet steady, weathered by centuries but unshaken. "…I came out here looking for my granddaughter, since she went out a while ago and hasn't come back yet...And what do I see here?"
"Not only do I see my granddaughter perched on a tree half-naked, but also another man, utterly naked, with his manhood swinging in the moonlight."
"And, to top it off, three of the top figures of the Holy Guard, gathered here of all places."
The bushes parted, and an old figure stepped into the open.
...and it was a old granny.
But despite the cane in her hand and the slight hunch in her back, she was no frail elder.
Her frame was steady and strong, her presence commanding. Her skin bore wrinkles, but her eyes...her eyes were sharp, alive, unflinching, the eyes of someone who had already lived a dozen lifetimes and wasn't impressed by anything anymore.
She calmly swept her gaze across the scene, taking in every absurd detail before her eyes landed squarely on Cassius. Specifically...on the throbbing erection he had no way of hiding.
"…That's a fine stick of meat you have there, young man."
She remarked coolly to which Cassius nearly swallowed his own tongue, yelping as he scrambled to cover himself with both hands.
But the old woman only chuckled, tilting her head.
"If I were twenty years younger, I'd have gladly taken that for myself. Such a thick, lively piece of flesh—it would have kept me satisfied for days."
Julie, Aisha, and Skadi also froze like statues, mouths slack, hearing this granny speak such profanity
But before anyone else could react, Nala's eyes lit up as if salvation itself had come.
"Grandma!!"
She cried, sliding down the tree and slithering full speed into her grandmother's arms. She wrapped herself around her tightly in a desperate embrace.
"You're here! You came to save me!"
But instead of comfort, the old cane cracked down sharply on Nala's tail.
Crack!
"Ow, ow, ow!! Grandma, that hurts! What was that for?!"
The old woman gave her a dry look.
"How many times have I told you not to coil around me like that? My bones are brittle now. If you squeeze me like you used to when you were a child, I'll be dead by morning."
Nala winced, rubbing her tail with a pout. "Sorry, sorry! I just...I was so happy to see you…" She leaned in for another hug, softer this time,
Smack!
"Ow! Again?! I didn't even do anything this time!"
Her grandma didn't even flinch. "Exactly. You didn't do anything this time. That's why I smacked you, you fool."
Nala's face scrunched in confusion. "What?! That makes no sense, Grandma!"
Her grandmother sighed and gestured toward Cassius with her cane.
"I don't know exactly what happened here, but I can tell from one look that those three girls over there think this young man did something wrong. But it's obvious to me that he hasn't."
"But instead of speaking up and defending him, you froze there on that tree like a frightened rabbit. You just let them glare at him like that without saying a word."
Nala pouted, her cheeks flushing.
"B-But Grandma! I was too shocked! I didn't know what to say! Who would expect three random people to just pop out of nowhere and see...this?!"
Whack!...went the cane again.
"Be quiet, Nala! That's no excuse! I didn't raise a coward who would let her friend get accused without defending him!"
Nala gasped and sputtered.
"Friend?! How do you even know he's my friend?! He's naked! With his penis out! Doesn't that make him a pervert or something?!"
"HEY!" Cassius protested from behind them. "I'm not a pervert!"
The grandmother simply arched an unimpressed brow at him before turning back to her granddaughter.
"If he were a pervert chasing after you, do you think you'd be standing here talking to me right now?" She asked flatly.
"No. You'd have choked him out and left him twitching on the ground already. I know you, Nala. You wouldn't let something like that slide."
Her words made Nala's mouth snap shut. Slowly, the truth sank in.
And then the old woman's gaze softened, and she smiled ever so slightly at her granddaughter.
"Besides…" She said in a knowing tone. "the way you're looking at him right now, it's obvious you don't hate him at all. Quite the opposite, in fact, I'd say you—"
But before she could finish, Nala's entire face turned red as she lunged forward and clamped her hands over her grandmother's mouth.
"Shut up shut up shut up! Don't say anything else!"
Her tail curled tight around herself in embarrassment as she refused to let go, while the trio stood there frozen, still trying to piece together what exactly was happening.
And Cassius...Cassius just smiled faintly to himself.
'Sharp old lady.' He thought, unable to hide his smirk. 'She saw right through everything with just one glance.'
The old lady's calm gaze swept over all of them, taking in the absurd scene one last time before she gave a soft chuckle.
"Alright, that's enough of this nonsense. It's quite obvious there's a big misunderstanding here." She said matter-of-factly, her tone leaving no room for argument. "If we all sit down and talk this out properly, I'm sure it will all be cleared up."
Her wrinkled face softened slightly, her curiosity shining through.
"Besides..." She added. "I'd very much like to know why three of the top figures of the Holy Guard's are wandering out here in the middle of the night. That alone is enough to make an old lady curious."
Then her eyes twinkled with something a little more mischievous as she turned toward Cassius.
"And most importantly, I'd like to know who this boy is—this boy who's managed to capture my granddaughter's attention so thoroughly."
"Grandma!" Nala shrieked, her tail coiling even tighter around herself as her face turned crimson. "I am not interested in him at all!"
The old lady didn't even glance at her.
"Anyway." She went on briskly. "This is no place to stand around. Come back with me to our village. I own the tavern there, and I'll prepare you all a good meal and some proper drinks. We can talk this over comfortably."
At the mention of food and drink, Skadi's ears perked up like a happy cat, her earlier suspicion melting away into eager anticipation.
"Food?" She repeated, almost bouncing on her toes. "Real food? Not just trail rations?"
"Yes, yes." The old woman said with a small laugh. "Fresh fish, warm bread, and even a few bottles of the village's best brew."
That was all it took for Skadi's tail to start swishing happily behind her. "Okay! I'm in!"
But the old lady wasn't done. "And while we're talking, I'd also like to consult you all about the Leviathan problem."
At that, the three girls froze.
"Leviathan?" Julie said slowly, her expression sharp with sudden concern. "What do you mean Leviathan? Are you saying Leviathan actually appeared here?"
Before the grandmother could answer, Nala spoke up, her tone far too casual for the weight of her words.
"Oh yeah. I totally forgot to mention, I ran into Leviathan tonight."
Aisha's eyes went wide. "What?! You met Leviathan tonight? And you're still alive?! How?!"
At this, Nala turned towards Cassius, which also made the rest of them instinctively turned to him as well, who stood there completely bare but with an unmistakably smug look on his face, chest slightly puffed as if to say, 'You're looking at the reason she's still breathing.'
The old lady's lips curved into a knowing smile.
"All the more reason to talk somewhere safe." She said simply. "Come along, all of you. We can't be shouting about Leviathan out here where anyone might hear. Follow me."
Julie, Aisha, and Skadi exchanged glances, then nodded silently before deciding to follow her lead. "We'll pick up the horses later." Julie murmured, still shooting Cassius the occasional suspicious glance.
Cassius was just about to fall into step behind them when the old woman suddenly turned back, her sharp eyes narrowing at him.
"Oh, and you—" She pointed her cane squarely at his crotch. "...you'd better find some clothes, young man."
Cassius flinched, immediately using both hands to cover himself.
The grandma gave a throaty chuckle. "I was only teasing earlier when I said I'd take a bite out of you myself. But there are plenty of widows back in the village who are far less restrained than I am." She smirked wickedly. "Walk in there naked like that, and they'll have you tied to a bed before you can say a prayer."
Cassius shuddered violently at the mental image, his face paling as if he had just imagined a personal apocalypse. "...Noted." He muttered, already scanning the area desperately for anything to cover himself with.
Julie couldn't help but sigh and pinch the bridge of her nose. "This night just keeps getting weirder." She muttered under her breath as they all started moving toward the village.