Dave vs The Devil (Original) - [Urban Fantasy/Comedy]

"Special needs!" one of the teachers yelled.

We were in a large conference room with a huge oval table that took up almost the entire space of the room. You could barely get in and out of chairs without slamming the chair against the wall.

"God damn special needs. Every kid has them nowadays. They hand them out like candy at the special needs store, I mean, the doctor's office," she said.

Her name was Beverly Hill, which seemed strange at first, until I realized her parents probably did that on purpose to be funny, and now that was just her name.

Miss Hill—she wasn't married or dating anyone, she made sure to tell us, like there was something we could do about it—seemed to have a chip on her shoulder from the beginning of the meeting.

I couldn't necessarily blame her. If every kid had special needs, then that was probably a lot of work to not only attend to them but also just to remember which student had which needs. They probably had individual charts for each student, like at a doctor's office.

I was getting off track. Drew had started the meeting by declaring that we were here today to discuss Eli's special needs, and then Miss Hill interrupted. Drew drew in a quick breath and set his jaw.

"Miss Hill," Drew said, "while I understand your position, I think you'll find that Eli's special needs are a little more special than other children's."

"Like what?" Miss Hill said. She put her hands in the air with two fingers free on each hand, getting ready to do air quotes. "Is he 'Autistic'? Does he have 'ADHD'? Is he 'cognitively impaired'?"

Ok, this was getting out of hand. I had been on her side for a second, but being exasperated about children who were cognitively impaired was five steps too far. What was wrong with this lady? Oh, yeah. She already told us. It was because she was single, and no one wanted to mingle with her.

I stood up from my chair, but it hit the wall before I could fully straighten my legs. So I ended up standing halfway.

"Miss Hill!" I said. "With all due respect, that is going too far! Those are vulnerable people with real struggles you're talking about! Not to diminish what I said, but no, Eli doesn't have those kinds of challenges. He is incredibly bright and learns quicker than a normal human is even capable of. He may be a little naïve about social situations, but that's the extent of his mental issues."

"Then what is his problem?" Miss Hill asked.

I turned to Eli and whispered in his ear.

"Can you take your wings out and hover above the table for me?" I asked.

"Yes, Daddy!" he said.

He pushed his wings through the holes in the jacket, which were specially designed to fit him. He clambered onto the table.

"What is this child doing?" Miss Hill asked. "Get him down this instant!"

Eli stopped for a moment, looking at me. He wasn't sure what to do.

"Let him continue," the Principal said. She steepled her fingers. "I have tried to impress upon you all, especially you Miss Hill, that Drew here is a very important person who carries a lot of authority, but apparently I haven't been plain enough for you to understand."

"Drew is the Assistant Director for the FBI, so whatever this child is doing, must be pretty important. I say that we let him continue, and what I say goes in this room and in this school, if you don't remember."

Several heads popped up, and backs straightened at the mention of Drew's position.

"Yes, Principal Stamperton," Miss Hill said.

"Thank you," Principal Stamperton said. "Now, Drew, before we continue, could you enlighten us on what exactly we are discussing and why this child is climbing on the table?"

Drew straightened his jacket and adjusted his tie.

"I'm not sure what I'm at liberty to say," he said. He gestured to me. "Dave here has a position higher than anyone in this room. That includes me. It should be him who explains the nature of his child's needs."

"Dave?" Principal Stamperton said.

"Ahem," I cleared my throat. "I'm not sure what exactly I can say without upsetting anyone."

"Why don't you start with what Eli needs from us," she said.

"Ok," I said. "He needs your understanding. He is a kind-hearted boy with nothing but love in his heart, but he has certain gifts. I'm worried that he'll be bullied and people will get hurt. And I don't want that blowing back on him."

"He does everything he can to stay in a good mood, or at least not get angry. If he does get angry, people can get hurt, and that's the last thing any of us wants. I know that schools nowadays are weird about violence, but if a child harms him and they get hurt when he defends himself, he shouldn't get in trouble."

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Teachers started raising their voices and getting rowdy. Then they started shouting. It was literally incomprehensible. I couldn't understand a word they were saying. So I grabbed my son and set him on the ground. Then I got on the table myself.

"Dave, don't!" Margaret said.

I looked at her.

"I have to," I said. I took in a deep breath. "Stop!"

Everyone froze, except for Margaret, Eli, and Drew. I lifted my hands and grabbed the invisible threads that tied me to the people I was silencing. I bundled all the threads together in one hand and shook it. The people under my control trembled.

"I tried the easy way," I said. "I'm frankly disappointed how quickly this got out of hand. Now, we will resume soon, but you need to understand something. I can make you do what I want, but I don't want to do that."

"Not only is it my last resort, I've never intentionally mind controlled someone before. I did do it accidentally to a unicorn and literal mountain of a person, but that's not relevant to this discussion. Holding you in place like this, that's not mind control."

"This is just getting your attention. Mind control is making you prioritize my son over all other students. I'm not asking for that. I'm just saying that you prioritize all students equally."

"Making sure Eli doesn't get bullied isn't just prioritizing his safety. It's prioritizing the other students' safety as well. That is all. You now may speak."

I let go of the threads and got down from the table and sat back in my chair, flattening out my shirt and jacket. The room was quiet for a long time. The Principal raised her hand.

"Um, how did you do that?" she asked.

"You really don't want to know," I said. "I pray that you never find out."

"Ok," she said. "Are we supposed to swear fealty to you or something?"

"No, nothing like that," I said. "Just don't shout and scream over each other so I can't understand what anyone is saying. That's all I ask."

Miss Hill raised her hand.

"Yes, Miss Hill," I said. "You don't have to raise your hand. We're not in a classroom."

"Yes," she said. "So, and I'm just inferring this, does your son have powers similar to yours?"

"Yes," I said, "but more focused on destruction and chaos. At least for now. And he can't control them yet. Which is why I just want people not to mess with him. He's not a mean or bad kid. But when people mess with him too much, sometimes, and just sometimes, he gets mad. And when he gets mad, he loses control."

"Understood," Miss Hill said.

The rest of the teachers and the principal all nodded firmly.

"Good," I said. "Well, I think that wraps this up. Now don't go planning anything behind my back. I'm always watching. Like Santa."

"Uh, yes," the principal said. "Understood. We won't."

"Ok, bye now!" I said.

We got up to leave. Eli waved at everyone.

"Bye scary people!" Eli said.

Margaret, Eli, and I walked out of the room first, and then the show crew followed awkwardly through the door while trying to maintain the shot.

[Drew - Interview Segment]

"Well, that didn't go how I expected it to, but it never does with Dave. Or his family. They're just like him! Crazies, the lot of them! Oh, well. It could be worse. I could still be a highway cop."

[Margaret - Interview Segment]

"Mercy me! Is it hot in here? Watching Dave take charge like charge like that was just…amazing! I couldn't have been more proud of him in that moment. Made me remember why I partnered with him in the first place. Is no one else hot? I'm sweating like a stuck pig."

[Eli - Interview Segment]

"My name is Eli!"

"Hey, how'd the kid get in here?" the producer said.

Someone kicked the camera over and it landed on its side.

So today was the day. Human school. We couldn't fly this time. We had to take a car too, which was ridiculous. I could just teleport us around the corner and walk up, but that would seem weird, and I didn't want people to think Eli was a latchkey kid, so he couldn't walk up by himself.

So a car it had to be. I rented a mini-van from a rent-a-car company, not because I couldn't afford to buy a car, but because it was faster than buying a car. And less paperwork. God, I hated paperwork.

[Margaret - Interview Segment]

"I made sure it was a mini-van. I didn't want anyone to think we were about to kidnap their kids. So what if the camera crew was a little cramped. At least it wasn't a sedan. And I made sure the car was red. Red is my style."

[Dave - Interview Segment]

"Margaret insisted the car be red. The woman loves her red. Her relationship with red is like a human woman's relationship with pink. Must be a Hell thing." I shrugged.

Eli and I had another father-son conversation while Margaret sat in the back. I was starting to feel like the show, "Dave, Yay or Nay?" was focusing on me and my relationship with Eli, more than Margaret. That didn't seem fair.

I know my name is in the title, but she's just as much Eli's parent as I was. I'd have to talk to the producer about that after we dropped Eli off. Eli and I had about the same talk about Eli's first day of school as we had when I dropped him off at Demon school.

He was excited and ready to roll. I really hoped it went as easily as he thought it would. I was crossing my fingers. The show crew decided to stay to watch Eli for his first day at human school. Boy, was I glad they did. Otherwise, I might not have gotten the evidence I did to back him up.

I got a call from the school while I was looking over the fallen angel file that there was an incident and it was still happening. Whoever it was said there was a fight in the schoolyard and Eli was in it. I didn't have time to get Margaret. I teleported to the school and ran around the back.

Eli was holding a kid up by the throat from ten feet away and fire and magma were bursting from his eyes. He was in full demon form with red skin, wings, horns, and tail. He was using telekinesis to hold the kid up.

That was something he had displayed early on as a kid. He would make his toys float when he was happy, and he'd throw them through walls when he wasn't.

It hadn't been strong enough to hurt Margaret, and we taught him not to use it unless it was just us, but when he got angry, all bets were off. He didn't normally get angry from being hurt though. He just got sad.

I couldn't figure out what had made him so angry until I saw the girl laying on the ground behind him. Eli appeared to be shielding Maribeth Jr from the other kids, but they had long since abandoned hurting her.

They had their phones out and were filming Eli go ape-shit on this kid who I assumed was the ringleader. I'd like to say I noticed blood or bruises on his knuckles from punching her like a detective, but instead I just had a feeling.

Mind you, I realized all this while I was running as fast as I could at Eli. I picked him up.

"Everything's alright," I said. I stroked the back of his head. "You can put him down now."

I heard the kid's feet hit the ground, but I didn't look.

"Put the phones away!" I said to the kids.

My domination jewel fired up, and they did what I asked, but I had a feeling it was too late. I walked over to the phones on the ground and saw that they weren't recording. They were live streaming. It was futile, but I smashed the phones with my foot.

"They hurt Maribeth!" Eli cried into my shoulder.

"I know. I know. It's going to be alright," I said. "I'm going to drop you off at home and then take Maribeth to the nurse's office, ok? You tell Mom all about it."

I teleported home, placed him on the ground, and teleported back. I picked up the beaten little girl with bruises forming on her face and arms and walked to the nurse's office.