Come Back

“Because that was all I could do.”

“Don’t say that’s all. You’re the only one who treated me like that.”

I was holding him at the same time as I was holding him. When I was like this, I didn’t feel anxious even if I closed my eyes and couldn’t see him. With someone holding me so tightly, I didn’t think I could just disappear. But I couldn’t figure out what was keeping my emotions from shaking.

The memories that I try hard not to recall may actually be the memories that my current self needs to face the most.

Choi Hong-seo continued to adjust the back of his knitwear. As if he was hanging on without hesitation. Then he rubbed his face on his shoulder and the nape of his neck. As if he was being playful, or as if he was trying to leave his scent. These were all actions he had not been able to do in the past.

“I had to laugh like a toy without the slightest sense of pride or emotion, trying to please the VIPs. The old man… said I was a VIP…”

Understanding tightened his arms as if to suffocate her. His breath was rough against her ear and cheek.

“That’s exactly what it is, Hongseo. A very important person. Who else is my VIP besides you? You’re the only important person, and if you work for me in my house, you’re the person I have to pay the most attention to.”

Choi Hong-seo shook his head strongly, burying his forehead on his shoulder. Was it because of the lingering scent of perfume? He could not avoid the attack of memories. The boiling hot emotions were finally released as tears.

“That’s not it. Not now… In the past, when I was Choi Hong-seo…”

Feeling the dampness on the nape of his neck, Hae-seong carefully let go of Choi Hong-seo. As he looked into his face and wiped his cheek, his hands were as delicate as ever, as if he was handling something precious.

“If you have something to say, speak slowly. It’s okay. Okay?”

“At first, I slept in the guest room in Seocho-dong. When I woke up, the old man was not there… But someone said he was in the dressing room on the second floor… There, I heard him talking to Director Kang.”

“……”

“To Director Kang, I am… the VVIP of this house.”

Just as I had sneaked out of the dressing room and laid back down on the bed after hearing those words, hot tears flowed down without a moment to stop them. Lee Hae-seong, who had been listening carefully to each word while covering Choi Hong-seo’s cheeks with his palms, suddenly lifted Choi Hong-seo’s face with a rough movement.

A moment before death.

Even Lee Hae-seong himself didn’t know that Choi Hong-seo was listening.

It was another powerful piece of evidence.

Although he had already completely believed that it was Choi Hong-seo, he was shaken violently by the evidence that confirmed it once again. His large shoulders shook and his breathing, which was panting, touched Choi Hong-seo’s cheek. He touched his face here and there urgently and, as if he could not bear it, he hugged his lover fiercely again.

“Were you listening to that?”

“A real VIP called me a VIP… That alone made the past seem worth it.”

Haa… A deep sigh, as if his chest was collapsing, different from his usual sweet sighs, came out from deep within Hae-seong’s lungs.

Choi Hong-seo quickly blinked his eyes to keep from shedding tears as he once again hugged her broad back, which was curved toward him, with both arms.

“I really wanted to say this. You are… as far as I know, the only person who deserves the title of VIP.”

“……”

“That’s why I respected it, and that’s why I loved it.”

But it was impossible not to cry. Hae-seong, with a bewildered expression like someone who had heard an unbelievable confession, slowly pulled Choi Hong-seo away from my body.

Tears flowed from Choi Hong-seo’s eyelashes and the corners of his eyes, but Lee Hae-seong quickly wiped them away. If Choi Hong-seo’s tears fell to the floor, it was as if everything he had in his hands would break apart. There were tears in Lee Hae-seong’s eyes too, but he never let them fall.

“I loved Hongseo because she loved me so much.”

“……”

Hae-seong tried his best to smile while looking at his lover’s face, who was looking up at him like a child who had just taken a difficult class, saying that he didn’t really understand what he meant. He ran his thumb over her lips, which were shiny and wet from tears, and stroked her cheek with his other finger.

“There’s not much time left until our appointment. You should stop crying now. I’ll wash your face with a wet towel. Come here.”

Lee Hae-seong took Choi Hong-seo by the hand and led him to the bathroom, and Choi Hong-seo held onto Lee Hae-seong’s waist and hung on. This was a very rare occurrence for Choi Hong-seo, who was usually a well-behaved child.

“You don’t want to fall? Then, should I give you some water? Let’s drink some water.”

“Before I left the hotel, the last thing I did in my room was… spray this perfume.”

Lee Hae-seong, who was about to grab a bottle of water from the minibar with Choi Hong-seo hanging from his waist, froze in place.

“I felt okay because I could smell you… I felt like we were together. So… Don’t get sick thinking about how scared I was.”

Choi Hong-seo recalled the ‘feeling of sorrow’ that Lee Hae-seong had mentioned.

Before he committed suicide, Myung Do-hoon, whom I had personally reported, was sentenced and incarcerated. The photos on the camera that Lee Hae-seong had lent me, which I had to delete one by one in tears, were all restored and decorated with the photo exhibition of ‘Rampas’. Lee Seo-kyung, who had forced herself to death, was murdered by ‘someone’ and was no longer of this world.

After waking up as Yoon Hye-an, she moved into a small officetel, and instead of the original poster that Lee Hae-seong had given her as a gift, she had put in a crude imitation in the temple she had set up there. Next to it, instead of the perfume that Lee Hae-seong had given to Choi Hong-seo, there was a bottle filled with a different perfume.

The current me is fake. A counterfeit. That’s what I thought.

But now, I was loved by him again as Choi Hong-seo, and I was living with him in his house. In the study of that house, the original movie posters he had given me as a gift were hanging side by side, and now, instead of a ‘fake’ with the same bottle, I had the exact same perfume I had given to Choi Hong-seo in my hand.

There was no lingering regret.

There was no hope left, but there was a wish.

I wish this person would stop being sick. If only I could be sure that this person would not be sick, I would pay any price for it. Isn’t this the person who washed away all the lingering feelings?

“No, Hongseo. If you keep doing this, you’ll get sick again. Let’s not think about that right now.”

“Sir… I love you. I really do.”

“I really love you too. Why are you talking as if I don’t believe you? Okay?”

Lee Hae-seong, who had been holding Choi Hong-seo’s cheeks in his hands, lowered his head and brought his face right up to his nose.

“Right now, we’re holding each other like this, Hongseo. Stop thinking about the past. Now, look at me. Just think about me. That way, you won’t get hurt.”

I tried to focus on his eyes, still with tears hanging from the corners of my eyes. Without any effort, the world before my eyes was filled with understanding.

“Choi Hongseo, who do you love?”

“…understanding.”

A warm smile and a kiss followed. And a firm hug.

“Yeah, good job. Good job, our Hongseo. You did a great job.”

That’s all you have to think about. From now on, we’re going to think about nothing else. Just us. We’re going to think about only the fact that we love each other and want to be together. We’re going to define those who support that as good, and those who hinder it as evil.

His whispers sounded like an auditory hallucination coming from far away.

■

“To the guest room? Um… You don’t have to do that.”

Lee Hae-seong was lying half-way down on the four-person sofa. Choi Hong-seo, who was lying face down on top of her, was holding tightly to the side of Lee Hae-seong’s knitted garment.

While stroking Choi Hong-seo’s hair and rubbing it between his fingers, Lee Hae-seong was on the phone with his cousin.

“Okay, then. I think I’ll be alone for about 30 minutes anyway.”

I liked the sound of his voice as I listened to his chest. And his strong heartbeat. It felt like it was inside his body.

After ending the call, Hae-seong Lee bowed his head and kissed Hong-seo Choi’s crown.

“Is that cousin coming to say hello?”

“I came here on purpose without saying anything, but I guess he heard me.”

If it was the cousin that Lee Hae-seong was talking about, then it was Jeong Ji-in’s lover. Now Choi Hong-seo also knew after hearing it from Lee Hae-seong.

“Hongseo? Have you calmed down a bit?”

Choi Hong-seo nodded.

“You can reschedule your appointment for another day.”

“Perfume, um, perfume made me suddenly emotional… that’s what happened.”

I felt embarrassed at the moment when I had let out my emotions. I cleared my throat and straightened my body from where I was lying. Lee Hae-seong, who got up after me, pointed to the table and spoke in a serious tone.

“I have to throw away all the perfume. It made our Hongseo cry like this.”

It was a tone that sounded like scolding an innocent stone or the corner of a desk for making a child cry. Even though he knew that she was just saying that and had no real intention of doing so, Choi Hong-seo quietly got up and packed the perfume into the bag he had left on the dining chair.

Lee Hae-seong, who had been secretly laughing with his hand covering his mouth, got up from the sofa to see Choi Hong-seo off. He cleared his throat and tried to hide his laughter.

“You two talk first, then call me. I’ll come down right away.”

“I will do that.”

“You won’t make me worry, right?”

“yes.”

Lee Hae-seong smiled happily as he gently rubbed the face with his thumb once more while nodding and answering politely.

The arrival of Lee Hae-seong’s cousin and Jeong Ji-in’s lover was just as Choi Hong-seo was about to leave the guest room. The three of them exchanged brief greetings inside the hallway. The not-so-small hallway felt crowded with Lee Hae-seong and his cousin alone. Their height, physique, and masculine, handsome faces looked quite similar, even though they were cousins. On the contrary, Lee Seo-kyung had a different vibe from the two. Compared to them, she was thinner, more nervous, and more obsessive…

“Ms. Hyean, do you remember the cousin I mentioned a few times? The team leader at the Knox Hotel… Oh, and when was he promoted to managing director? He keeps making mistakes.”

As soon as he thought of Lee Seo-kyung, Choi Hong-seo felt his stomach turn, but he pulled himself together at the touch of Lee Hae-seong’s hand gently touching his back, and looked at the man in front of him, a man as big as his lover.

“It’s because it doesn’t stick to your mouth, huh? Nice to meet you, I’m Lee Han.”

“Hello. This is Yoon Hye-an.”

The shape and size of the handshake also resembled understanding.

This person is Jiin’s older brother’s lover. And Seo-kyung Lee’s younger brother.

“I heard you and your brother are going to be in a movie together. You’re the actor who starred in , right?”