Bodega Cat (System Apocalypse, Deck Builder, Litrpg)

"What is the thing that you want to do? Say that you're an animal and then ask me to feed you?"

"Also pet me." Ashley nodded. "Mmmm. I wonder if Bagel likes it this much."

"He is naked."

"He is a cat. They are always naked."

"So how many pictures of Zendaya do you have in your phone?"

"The normal amount," Ashley growled.

"What's the normal amount?" Kate said.

"That's what I have."

"It would have been nice if you had a bigger bed but I guess the apartment isn't that big."

"It could have been Tom Holland, you know. But cute boys are like all bones. Girls,"Ashley said squeezing Kate's arms. "Are soft with some squish."

"But why wasn't it Doechi?"

Ashley rolled slightly to kiss her. "That's good. I never thought of it that way. I just don't think of her the same way I think of Zendaya."

Kate smiled, darting in for a peck. She had stayed late enough that both girls were wondering if the subway system was still working.

"Are you going to be sad because I'm a blonde and I'm not a woman with long curly hair?"

"Oh absolutely not." Ashley moved back. Their legs were intertwined and she had accepted her position as little spoon.

"You know what I forgot? I forgot a good. It feels to just be naked with somebody."

A car honked outside. It wasn't even noon yet and Ashley didn't want to wake up or open her eyes. She did want to go take a shower but she definitely didn't want to disentangle herself from Kate.

"Fuck we've got to get up and..."

Kate grabbed her waist. "Bitch. There is an apocalypse outside. The police are handling it. There's little we can do but stop the dungeons from overflowing. So you'll excuse me if I savor this moment."

Ashley backed herself into the larger woman. There was literally nothing between them but Kate had proven to be able to spent her energy in a productive manner.

"But I want to..."

"Girl. For once in your life stop trying to do everything. You can't."

"Kate..."

The passion behind the next kiss was at least as strong as the F train, but as passionate as the crosstown express. It was also as slow as the crosstown bus.

And she liked all of the same things that Ashley liked! Well, most of them.

Kate was, unfortunately lactose intolerant. Cheese platters were out. Charcuterie boards would be all meat. It wasn't a terrible thing but the Amish market charged about thirty dollars for their charcuterie boards. It was an outrage but how many girls are going to be searching for a security board in the middle of the Apocalypse?

Not that many.

Perhaps the situation and her need to invite Kate to come watch Love Actually with her on repeat had been horny and above board. It quickly devolved into exactly the kind of thing that neither one of them was expecting.

"Do you think this is what life is going to be like from now on?" Ashley said.

"God, I hope so."

"What are we doing about this?" Ashley said, suddenly glad that she had a spare set of sheets.

"This? Stop trying to force things."

"But I..."

Kate flipped her over putting the taller woman's breasts into her face. "I'm happy, you're happy."

"Yes, Mommy," Ashley said, mesmerized.

"Great. Now about that charcuterie board."

---

The police officers were there all the time. It was incessant. Bagel hadn't realized how much they just ... Stood around and talked. He didn't have a problem with them doing that where he was but ... They just kept talking.

Thankfully they were mostly outside of the shop. And also they made the shop a little safer. Taxi cabs might honk less because they were there, but it could just as easily have been more.

They made things feel more secure? He wasn't actually sure. The security of the bodega was one thing. He felt safe on Ashleys lap, but who wouldn't?

A Maine Coon showed up. He gave it a small amount of regard. The first tell was it sneaking in on its own.

"Excuse me sir but... Are you awakened?" Raul said.

"It would seem that you are familiar. Is the manager around?" If there was ever a time when it was more appropriate for Bagel to hold it impromptu meeting in his store, he didn't know of it.

Bagel was going to have to get down from the ridiculously tall thing that he'd gotten for cheap from the sales lady. What had she called it?

"I see that you too are a feline of culture? Is that the Princess Tonic cat climber?"

Bagel regarded the Maine Coon who has ascended to the heights of the store next to him. "Is that not what the little sign says?"

"I supposed it could be a knock off. May I?"

"Please do. The hammock is especially soft."

The first level was an involved piece that had a usable hammock slightly too large for him. Bagel had settled on the second and a half level where he could be inside of a tiny little hut shaped portion. He could from there see his entire domain.

He has placed the tower far enough away from the grill to not arouse the suspicion of his customers, behind the countertop where the cigarettes used to be.

The Maine Coon sat there for a while and used the hammock to calm himself. He wasn't breathing heavily but it was clear in his gait that he had not been moving around much.

"This is pretty great."

"I've got someone coming in to install catwalks up here. We had to specify for cats, but they will be by later."

Bagel had still been all over the store, going as far as to find someone to install catwalks. He was excited to get something high up. If he got the chance he would do the whole building exterior as well. It was only going to cost some credits.

"This is quite interesting. So there's some rumblings here about you looking for smart money?"

"If that is what they are calling it," Bagel said, scrunching his nose.

"They are. We think that with a cat like you, positioned the way that you are... You could make a killing in the market."

Bagel considered the source. Maine Coons were known to be truthful, weren't they? Plus, he had solidarity with other cats.

"Bagel... All we need is credits. The transit authority is doing their bond issuance virtually. No one is tracking this. They want the credits but without a substantial backing this is going to go nowhere fast."

"And you can provide that backing?" Things had just turned interesting. Perhaps they could do something about the honking?

The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

"We can even take you up to the Jellyside Layer. That's what we're calling the firm."

"It's a strange name, but I guess cats support other cats."

"Can you be the face?"

Bagel nodded. "I might as well. I should probably get Janet here so she can take notes."

The bubbly sphere flew up to between the two cats. "Hello! Do I need to draw up a contract between Four Five Deli and Jellyside Layer Private Equity?"

"We can start with that," the Maine coon said. "There's been some rumblings among the humans. They're not being as open as we initially expected. We expected to be ar the same table, but instead they're flicking us off like an unattended object."

"Most distressing," Janet said.

"Most distressing indeed. I take it your AI is safe to have a conversation around?"

Bagel purred. "You can trust her."

"What have you been doing with yourself? The family wants to meet you."

"Running dungeons. Preventing overflow."

"Overflow?" The cook stopped moving around the hammock.

"You gotta clear these dungeons. They're... its not great if they stick around for too long."

That's not a thing they wanted to ever have happen. They'd never had it happen; and yet the threat of it loomed large over them. Just one dungeon breaking away from the pack and unloading itself would be enough to cause panic. They didn't need to say it but still.

"If they're not taken care of, they could spill out into the city. That would be..." Bagel flicked his tail. "Horrific."

"Jellyside Layer thanks you for your service to the borough. We certainly couldn't do it without cats like you."

Bagel nodded. Why had the system taught him so many human mannerisms? Everything about working with them felt off. His new friend felt familiar just by virtue of being a cat. That had to be what all of the humans had. There was something about the humans and they're assumption that all humans are in the same group as them that irked him.

Humans had so many assumptions. They all thought that they were all part of the in group.

They all thought they were special.

They were all just dropping to Bagel, save for a few good nuggets.

Cats had no such problems with their place in the world.

Cats didn't take care of human excrement. Cats didn't feed humans unless it was the rare bird that had asked to be caught and presented as such.

But he felt something for the other cat.

He hadn't spent that much time around other cats and he hoped that he could fix that. If he could fix that... Then maybe he would feel more normal and he wouldn't feel so ambivalent about the Maine Coon.

But what was normal anyway?

The more that he thought about it, the less that normal as a concept even sounded right to it. He couldn't point to normal. He could point to period of his life where it began to get more hectic and less hectic.

He could point to boring parts of his life. He didn't necessarily want his life to be boring but boring, felt good and calm. The hectic parts of his life? He could do less with.

This gambit that Jellyside Layer was going to be going through was that going to be hectic or boring? It sounded like it was going to be boring.

Cats investing money into a series of bonds to increase the amount of safe spaces in the city? Why would that not be normal and everyday? It sounded like a good investment.

It couldn't be because cats had never bought loans before or had money. No that was boring and normal. Now it couldn't be because he was there at the start and heading outside influence on the entire process.

"You now have ten thousand credits Boss. Ready to buy the apartment complex?"

For a moment, he stopped to check what the Maine Coon was doing.

"Consider it a gift. Startup capital if you would," he said disengaging from the car hammock. "We don't require a return anytime soon but we wanted to send a message."

The other cat flicked his tail. "We are in this together even if the humans don't see it that way."

Bagel could understand this feeling. For so long they had been irrelevant. Now that they actually had something they wanted to keep it. Not only that while the humans were doing their thing and working around the system, there was no reason that the cats couldn't build their own place. Well not their own place but their own little society.

"Thank you for this. It's a shame that you can only buy adjacent lots and properties. I think that several of us will be coming to find a safe spot to lay our heads for the night."

"I guess that would be okay," Bagel said. "I do need what was the word? Tenants?"

"Tenants? Hmmm. Yes, humans that pay you in credits."

"They do what?"

"The humans pay each other to live in a place. It's utterly barbaric but they expect it of others. There's a reasonable assumption that they'll have to pay something.. like say fifty credits a month to rent an apartment."

Janet did a little loop, blinking twice.

"Interesting. So I could make even more credits this way? Humans, huh?"

"How do you get down from this place?" The Maine Coon looked reluctant to drop. It was completely understandable.

"You don't have a drone that you can summon to fly on top of? Or a human mount?"

He shook his head. "I can't summon anything inside of the shop its... It has to be an effect of your card. I do have a glider... I parked it outside."

"Well that's not a problem. I can have one of my mounts catch you. That is if you're okay with it?"

He was and it took only a second for the humanoid mob to show up for the party. Honestly what cat didn't dream of traveling in style? He had always admired the many ways that humans had been useful. Now, he didn't really need them.

They were a nice to have, not a have to have.

Raul... He had to pay Raul. Every credit that he payed Raul was another credit he couldn't use to make the block safer.

But that wasn't his job.

He could collect rent from tenants and put that into the buying up of land and... And then what? Buy the whole world? How much land was he going to have to buy to keep himself safe?

At the same time if he bought it up then there would be no more spawns and then without spawns humans wouldn't be able to make credits. Bah it was a problem for Jellyside Layer or someone else. His problems ended with the here and now.

No cat was guaranteed a tomorrow. But he could work on today.