Blood Lily

At first, she had no reaction. She just sat there, astonished and seemingly unmoved by the hug. After a moment, though, her arms wrapped around me to reciprocate it. Tightly.

“I… I am not okay, no…” she answered with a sullen voice. I could feel her form a bittersweet smile. “But thank you, your warm heart makes it tolerable.”

I don’t know why, but… I felt guilty. Like, maybe I could do something to help, or maybe there’s something I could say that I’m just not saying. I hugged tighter. “I-Is something wrong? What happened? Is there… anything I could do?”

“Oh, no sweetheart… I’m afraid there isn’t anything anyone can do,” she said, breaking away from the hug and lightly holding me by the arms. “I… lost someone very dear to me, but I’ll be okay. You don’t need to worry.”

I was quick to respond. “But I am worried!” I said, starting to tear up. “You’re sad, and I want to help. I-I’ve never had someone important to lose, so I don’t know what it’s like, but… I don’t know!”

I just tightly hugged her again, hoping that maybe it would be sufficient enough to make her feel better.

“Oh, honey…” she said, squeezing me back. “Some things are unavoidable. No one lives forever. Not me… not you… not anyone. This day was always coming for the person dear to me. The one and the only thing I can do to make it better is to surround myself with others… especially you, my child. Thank you for being here. I couldn’t ask for anything more.”

I continued hugging her, still wishing I could do something.

She lightly giggled. “But I suppose I did get more.”

“Huh?” I said, breaking away from the hug, slightly confused.

“I was planning on putting in the effort to break out of this shell I put up a year ago when things got stressful by having the servants return to their regular shifts… but it seems you’ve already done that for me, what with everyone so active during daylight,” she said, booping my nose. “Thank you.”

“Huwah?!” I blushed. I did do something? “Y-You’re welcome!”

She smiled, much more genuinely this time. “Now, why don’t you take a seat before your food gets cold, hrm?”

I blinked. “Right!”

As I sat down and started eating breakfast, the realization hit me. Oh. Right. Lies. Need to tell her about the lies.

I gulped.

“So, uh…” I started quietly, feeling really guilty about a lot of stuff I’ve kept from her. “This dress is-”

“Oh!” she interrupted, my words clearly too quiet. “Your sunsilk suit is ready, by the way. I would like to properly show you the garden after breakfast.”

Oh. That guilty weight just got several times heavier. “I-Is it? That’s… great! But, um…”

“But?” she said, lifting a brow. I think she might have realized I was still wearing the dress from yesterday. “Ah. If you’d rather not wear a suit, then it wouldn’t be too much trouble to have it adjusted and…”

“T-The dress is made of sunsilk and that’s how I went to the garden! Birch had it made for me! Please don’t be mad at him or me! I’m sorry! I also went to the garden for a second time yesterday when I went to the bathroom! I’m sorry!”

I squeezed my eyes shut in fear once I got it out.

She went quiet for a moment, but only a moment. She suddenly burst into laughter, eventually calming herself down and wiping a tear away. “ Well! That would explain a lot.”

I was extremely confused. “A-Are you… mad at me?”

“Hrm? Mad?” she asked. “Oh, no. Not at all. Well, I’m certainly going to have a word with Birch… and Amber and Millie since they were in on it… but I’m not upset at you or anyone. Why didn’t you tell me earlier, though?”

“W-Well…” I paused, biting my lip. “Cause it was a dress, and… I didn’t even know who gave it to me until yesterday. I didn’t know what to say, or what I should say. At first, I tried to wear it when I was alone, but… then I saw what I

used  to look like and panicked and broke the mirror. I-I mean, Millie fixed it, so it’s ok now! But… that made me want to forget about it. But then I realized it was made of sunsilk and could visit the garden… so I did… and… I really liked wearing it. But then it got complicated when I wanted to- tried to be a girl for a day. It was just… easier to lie and not worry about it. I’m sorry…”

“You don’t have anything to apologize for,” she said with a comforting smile. “But if it makes you feel better, I forgive you for deceiving me.”

I weakly smiled back, still guilty but definitely relieved to hear that. “T-Thanks…”

“Now then, is that why you’re still wearing the dress? Because you like it?” she asked, something clearly on her mind. “Are you more comfortable wearing… these kinds of clothes?”

“Um…” I started, blushing. “Yes.”

She smiled. “Then I suppose I’ll need to have more clothes like that delivered to your room.”

My jaw went partially slack. “R-Really?”

“Really,” she confirmed.

I smiled hard, feeling this really warm burst of butterflies in my belly. I feel so excited! Even more clothes to try on!

“Thank you!!!” I said enthusiastically. Oh. Wow. I don’t think I realized I liked these kinds of clothes that much.

She gently giggled. “Of course. Anything to make you more comfortable. And… since we’re on the topic,” she said, pausing to consider, “I couldn’t help but notice that when I spoke to several servants earlier, they were still referring to you as you requested yesterday. I assume you asked them to?”

I blinked. “O-Oh, right, um… yeah… I-I did,” I nervously answered.

She took another long pause, making sure to choose her words carefully. “Would you like to stay as a girl, then?”

“I…” suddenly found it difficult to speak. It was like my entire future was suddenly shoved under the weight of a single question. “I-I…?”

“Sorry,” she interrupted. “I… shouldn’t have asked so carelessly. I can tell that it is… complicated, for you. I never should have assumed you wanted to go back… or rather, I should have asked how you felt to begin with. If you wish to experiment, then you may do so. If you don’t want to drink the elixir… then you don’t have to. If you decide to drink it, but find you did prefer being a girl, then another can always be made. You can be whoever and whatever you want.”

I stared at her for a moment, soaking in her words. I was… amazed. I felt so understood, so relieved to hear those words. I felt touched, and I could feel warm tears falling down my cheeks. “T-Then… right now… c-could I maybe try… being your daughter?”

Her face softened into a peaceful gaze adorned with a warm smile. “You may, my beautiful daughter.”

I tried my best not to break into joyous sobbing. I only wanted one other thing right now. “C-Can I have a hug?”

She maintained her smile, and within a literal flash she was beside me, embracing me in a motherly hug as I sat in my chair.. “Of course, sweetie. My daughter gets hugs whenever she wants them.”

“T-Thank you!” I said, my voice cracking as I finally broke into crying, overwhelmed with sheer familial love. I held onto her tightly. “Thank you so much… for everything! Thank you… T-Thank you…”

“No, thank you. Having a child, it… it means so much to me. I know we are not a normal family, and I know that, in truth, we barely know each other. I hope that, with time… we can change that. You are a kind, wonderful individual that I am beyond proud to have chosen as my heir. I want to learn more about you as a person, and I want you to learn more about me. About our world of myths. I want to deserve to be your mother.”

I shook my head. “I-I don’t think you understand… I want to deserve being your child. I… I want to prove I’m worth something because I think that maybe you’ve shown me that I am! My only worry used to be whether I could find scraps of food or just anything I could wear! I used to go to sleep hoping I wouldn’t have to wake back up! But now… now I get to worry about stuff like being a girl! I get to eat all kinds of delicious food, take warm baths, wear pretty clothes, talk to people, play games, have friends, have family… everything! And it’s all because of you, so just… thank you!”

“I… see,” she said, taking my words in. “Then… you’re welcome. For everything that I’ve given you, and for everything that I will give you. You deserve it all, for you are my daughter. I love you.”

I wiped my tears away, looking up at her with genuine happiness.

“I love you, too, mommy.”

For a minute, we simply shared a hug between mother and daughter, and… it was pleasant. I could tell that both of us needed this. We needed each other, and that made it all the better.

“Now then,” she started, ending the silence, “you’re already dressed for the garden. Care to visit it with me? You might have visited it already… twice… but there’s still quite a lot you don’t know. A lot I want you to know. I think it will help you in more ways than one.”

“Mmm!” I nodded excitedly. “I’d love to!”

“Then let’s go,” she tenderly smiled, starting to lead me towards the garden.

As we left the dining room, I noticed Amber and Millie had been waiting outside. I waved at them, smiling. They smiled back and allowed mother and I to make our way to the garden. Seems like my friends would just be waiting inside. I’d like to have them with me, but… I get the feeling it might be better if mother and I are alone for this. My suspicions were justified once we stepped outside.

“Leave us, if you all would,” mother kindly asked the servants tending to the garden outside. Moments later, it was just us and the sights of the garden.

I smiled as I took in the area. “It’s so pretty and colorful out here! The sunsilk lets the light warmly tingle on my skin… and the air is so fresh and crisp! It smells wonderful, too! I’d love to just find a nice spot in the grass and lay down!”

Mother lightly giggled. “Yes, yes… it’s quite nice, isn’t it? One could spend hours out here and never grow tired of its beauty. I know I have.”

“I heard it was extra special because the sunlight is, like, extra strong, or something like that. Why is that?” I asked.

“Ah. Good question,” she said, standing by the center fountain as the sound of trickling water made for good ambience. “There are some places in this world that are unnatural. The regular laws of nature do not apply to them, and they can wildly vary in effect. Some places have neverending snow storms, some places have time flow differently, and some have unusually strong sunlight, such as this spot. These are called abnormalities.”

“Oh… wow,” I responded, pretty intrigued.

“If you found it funny that a bloodline of vampires chose a spot with abnormally strong sunlight of all places, I wouldn’t blame you. There’s no real reason behind it, either… it’s just beautiful.”

“I think that’s reason enough,” I smiled.

“Many would disagree, but I’m glad to know we share the sentiment,” she said as she approached some familiar flowers… the same orange flowers Birch was fixated on yesterday. “Father would be thrilled to hear you say that.”

I stepped closer to her, standing near my lily’s original spot. “Who… was he?”

She kneeled down, placing a delicate hand on the soil in front of the wild looking flowers before her. “You see, this garden is special to the O’Sang family for several reasons. In all cases, an O’Sang has chosen to cast aside their old name and choose a new one. In all cases… they choose their name based on a flower found here in the garden. Call it coincidence, or call it destiny, it’s remained true one way or the other.”

“Then…” I realized, putting two and two together. “This flower is…?”

“A tiger lily,” she smiled with great pride and joy. “His name was Tiger O’Sang… and this is where he is buried.”

My eyes widened. “He’s… buried here?”

She stood back up, taking a deep breath. “Yes… he is. The garden is, in a way, where our life as an O’Sang begins… and where it ends.”

I looked around the entirety of the garden upon hearing her words, taking in the view once again, and… seeing it in a very different light. “Then… it’s not just a garden, is it? It’s also…”

She finished for me.

“A graveyard.”