Chapter 148: Greatest In The Heaven Returns
In yet another corner of Chaos Heaven Peak…
The sky trembled. The earth cracked. The disciples ran for cover.
Why?
Because two cultivators were in the middle of a duel and because of their pressure, earth cracked.
On one side stood Senior Brother Bao, bald, pot-bellied, wearing nothing but a robe that was too small for him. He held… a toothbrush the size of a greatsword.
On the other side was Fairy Xiulan, elegant and graceful, her jade hands gripping what appeared to be… a giant feather duster, shimmering with divine light.
The battle began.
With a roar, Senior Brother Bao swung down his toothbrush, bristles glowing Qi.
"Heaven Cleansing Technique — Ultimate Plaque Eradication Slash!"
Fairy Xiulan twirled gracefully, her feather duster sweeping in arcs that scattered rainbow-colored dust across the battlefield. "Supreme Household Art — Dust-Banishment Technique!"
Each clash shook the mountain. Toothpaste foam and glowing sparkles exploded like fireworks.
The crowd of disciples were slack-jawed.
"Isn't that… my senior's Heaven grade feather duster?!"
"Senior Brother Bao actually cultivated the Dao of Teeth???"
"Why is this even working???"
With every swing, Bao's toothbrush released minty-fresh wind that nearly froze weaker disciples.
Meanwhile, Xiulan's feather duster created pockets of vacuum so clean that dirt itself ceased to exist.
At one point, Bao slammed his toothbrush into the ground. A tidal wave of toothpaste surged forth, foaming like an ocean. Disciples screamed as they were swept away by peppermint freshness.
Xiulan retaliated by unleashing her ultimate move:
"Flawless Spring Cleaning — World Without Dust!" The entire battlefield was polished spotless, reflecting like a mirror.
Bao, slipping on the shiny floor, fell backward with a grunt.
Xiulan raised her feather duster to finish it… but then she slipped too, sliding gracefully across the floor until she bumped into Bao.
Both landed in a heap, staring at each other.
The disciples collectively held their breath.
Then Fairy Xiulan sneezed delicately. A bit of dust escaped.
Bao grinned, lifting his toothbrush. "Gotcha. One cavity left."
And thus, the duel ended, not with victory, but with the crowd wondering if the Dao of Cleaning would one day surpass sword Dao itself.
The true victor of this match was, of course, the pot-bellied Bao — not only did he remain undefeated, but he also managed to bump into Fairy Xiulan, an encounter he could brag about to his friends for months.
And just like that, a normal day was passing in the Chaos Heaven Peak.
***
At the main peak of Chaos Heaven Peak, where dangerous auras poured from practically every stone and cloud, an old woman sat peacefully in front of a shabby little hut… peeling potatoes.
At first glance, the potato looked ordinary. In truth, if anyone below the Immortal Realm dared to take a bite, their body would burst apart from the sheer energy packed inside each spud.
She hummed softly as she peeled, tossing the potato skins into the backyard. There, the scraps would ferment into manure potent enough to make rare herbs sprout overnight.
After rinsing a potato in underworld spring water — "for better flavor," as she claimed, it floated above her palm. With a casual flick of her wrist, a flame appeared.
Not just any flame. The Chaos Flame.
So potent that, had she lost control for even a blink, the entire realm would vanish in smoke. Yet here it was, roasting a potato like it was nothing.
When it finished cooking, the old woman popped the whole potato into her mouth in one bite. The mountains went quiet. The wind stilled. All that remained was the sound of her crunching.
Chomp. Chomp. Chomp.
Suddenly, the medallion at her side pulsed with light.
It belonged to her newest disciple — her "little idiot," as she fondly called her.
She raised an eyebrow, curious, and tapped it to view the message. At the same time, with nothing more than a lazy thought, she sent a mental summons to her two youngest disciples.
"Come here. Your junior has a message from her brother."
Within a minute of the summons, two figures appeared.
One was a tiny shorty, delicate like a porcelain doll but with a mischievous gleam in her eyes.
The other was Yu Lingluo, who looked half-asleep, swaying slightly as if she had been dragged out of her dreams by force. Her eyes were half-closed, threatening to shut completely at any moment.
The old woman narrowed her eyes and casually flicked a medallion at Yu Lingluo.
Bonk. It smacked her right on the forehead.
"Master! Why did you, ouch!" Yu Lingluo yelped, clutching her head before catching the medallion.
"You left your medallion behind," the old woman said flatly. "Apparently your brother sent a message saying he's visiting—"
She didn't finish.
"What? He's coming?!" Yu Lingluo's drowsiness evaporated instantly. She almost jumped on the spot, fumbling to activate her medallion. Sure enough, her brother's message was there.
For the next five minutes she fidgeted, bit her lip, erased and rewrote her words, until finally sending the simplest reply:
[Greatest In The Heaven: I miss you so much, Xuan'er. Come quickly.]
Her eyes sparkled, her whole face lit with joy.
The shorty raised a brow. "Why are you so excited? Isn't he just another brother?"
"Shut up, shorty! He isn't just another brother!" Yu Lingluo snapped, glaring.
The shorty smirked, reached out, and smacked the top of Yu Lingluo's head. "Hehe~ when he comes, I'm going to bully him."
That was the spark.
Yu Lingluo lunged, spiritual energy crackling around her. The ground splintered beneath her feet as she threw ferocious blows, but the shorty slipped away with nimble ease and bonked her on the head again.
"Just let me get stronger!" Yu Lingluo growled, cheeks puffed with frustration. "I'll stretch your limbs like dough!"
The shorty's grin faltered for a moment. Her junior sister really was absurdly talented, if she wasn't careful, one day those threats might not be jokes.
She slowed down her pace a little, watching carefully.
Meanwhile, the old woman sat back, arms folded, watching the antics of her two youngest disciples. She sighed inwardly, wondering when will the both grow both mentally and physically?