A Zoologist’s Guide to Surviving Magical Creatures

The trip to Viracocha's office was a far cry from pleasant. Apparently, retrieving Jiuge's precious token was just the first of many hoops we had to jump through.

Upon arrival at the Divine Infrastructure Building, we were handed stacks of paperwork. Yes. Paperwork. Despite the advancement of digital technology in Mythica, Divine Infrastructure still uses paper forms.

"More forms?" I groaned, staring at the endless list of questions. "'Purpose of visit,' 'duration of stay,' 'have you recently handled hazardous magical materials?' Does eating a spicy taco count?"

"Stop whining and fill it out," Jiuge snapped, already scribbling on her own form. "This is standard for Council-level deities."

"I don't see you struggling with this," I muttered.

"That's because I've done this a thousand times before." She glanced at Agnos, who was lounging in the corner. "And don't even bother asking him for help. He always skips the paperwork."

Agnos smirked over his teacup. "VVVVIP perks."

I shot him a glare. "Some of us don't have those perks, Agnos."

"Then earn them." He shrugged nonchalantly, taking another sip.

By the time we finished the forms and handed them to the clerk—a snippy little imp with far too much power—we were ushered to the next checkpoint: the dreaded screening machines.

"Please step through the arcane scanner," a guard intoned, waving me forward.

"What's it scanning for?" I asked, hesitating. "I don't have any dangerous spells on me. Unless you count a mild curse I mumbled when I stubbed my toe this morning."

"It scans for prohibited items, unauthorized magic, and high levels of sarcasm," the guard deadpanned.

"Great, I'm doomed," I muttered, stepping through. The machine whirred ominously, and a series of red runes lit up.

"Sir, your backpack contains restricted items," the guard said, eyeing me sternly. "Magical artifacts, snacks of unknown origin, and… a journal?"

I blinked. "What's wrong with my journal? It's just notes on mythical creatures."

"Handwritten notes can potentially carry dangerous sigils. Standard protocol."

Jiuge rolled her eyes. "For the love of Mythica, just give them the bag."

"Fine," I grumbled, handing it over. "But if anything happens to my granola bar, there will be consequences."

The guard ignored me and waved us through. By the time we reached the lobby, it felt like we'd completed an epic quest. Agnos and Jiuge didn't even break a sweat. The guards barely looked at them, waving them past with a quick nod.

"Must be nice being a god," I muttered as I watched Jiuge casually saunter through the final checkpoint.

"It is," Agnos replied with a smirk, patting my shoulder. "Maybe you'll get there someday, Carl. Maybe."

"I'll remember that the next time you need someone to wrangle a rogue chupacabra," I snapped.

As we stood in the lobby waiting for the final clearance, I couldn't help but vent. "Why didn't we just text Viracocha in the first place? If Jiuge can call him like she's ordering pizza, why the endless bureaucracy?"

Jiuge turned to me, clearly exasperated. "Do you ever stop complaining?"

"Do you ever stop being scary?" I shot back.

Agnos chuckled. "Children, play nice. We're about to meet one of the most powerful beings in Mythica. Maybe save your banter for after the meeting."

Jiuge smirked. "If Carl survives it."

"Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence," I muttered.

As we waited for the elevator to take us to Viracocha's office, I made a mental note: If I ever earned a VVVVIP membership, the first thing I'd do was skip this whole mess.

And maybe, just maybe, I'd use it to prank Jiuge. If she didn't electrocute me first.

The moment we stepped into Viracocha's office, the token in Jiuge's hand glowed brightly, and the massive double doors swung open with an almost theatrical flourish.

If this was a god's office, it certainly lived up to expectations—high ceilings, golden trim, and a massive desk made of some material that shimmered like starlight.

Behind the desk sat Viracocha, absorbed in his phone, smirking as he typed furiously. His tanned skin seemed to radiate a subtle glow, and his black opal eyes practically sparkled. He was, unsurprisingly, distractingly good-looking.

What was it with gods and their absurdly perfect appearances?

The moment we entered, he jumped, fumbled with his phone, and hastily turned to his computer, typing at random as if to appear busy.

The transition from casual texting to "serious deity at work" was so abrupt it was almost comedic. When he noticed Jiuge, his tense demeanor softened, and a wide smile spread across his face.

"Oh, Jiujiu! It's you! Thank the cosmos—I thought it was my assistant pestering me about reports again."

"Jiujiu?" I echoed under my breath, glancing at Agnos. His expression was dark, his golden eyes narrowing slightly. Clearly, he wasn't a fan of this overly familiar nickname.

But Jiuge… Oh, Jiuge.

Gone was the fierce, no-nonsense fox goddess. In her place was someone almost unrecognizable—her entire demeanor had shifted to a shy, giggly teenager.

She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, smiled coyly, and even let out a small, flirtatious laugh. Agnos's frown deepened. I could practically feel the thundercloud forming over his head.

Meanwhile, Viracocha switched off his computer, tidied up his desk with dramatic flair, and sauntered—no, sashayed—toward us.

My jaw almost hit the floor. Was he always this… flamboyant?

I shot a sideways look at Agnos, silently asking, Is this normal? He didn't seem fazed, keeping his sharp gaze locked on the exchange between Viracocha and Jiuge.

"Please, sit," Viracocha said, his voice dripping with charm.

I sank into one of the plush chairs, trying to make sense of the scene in front of me. Jiuge was laughing and playfully swatting Viracocha's arm as he made some cheeky remark. She even let out a small giggle-snort, which made Agnos nearly choke on his tea.

Finally, Agnos cleared his throat. Loudly.

"Jiuge. The purpose we're here?" His golden eyes flicked toward her with a pointed glare.

Jiuge froze mid-laugh, immediately snapping out of her lovestruck daze. "Right, right," she said, clearing her throat and shifting to a more professional tone. "Vira, I need a favor."

Viracocha leaned forward, his expression softening as he gazed at her. "What is it, Jiujiu? You know I'll do anything for you."

Agnos snorted audibly, earning a sharp glare from Jiuge.

"Really?" he muttered under his breath, lazily sipping his tea but never breaking eye contact with Viracocha.

"We need access to the Eternal Prison," Jiuge said bluntly.

The smile on Viracocha's face froze. He blinked a few times, processing her words. "Er, Jiujiu," he started hesitantly, "I'd love to help you, but… Eternal Prison?"

His voice dropped, and his eyes narrowed.

"Are you trying to meet her? You know it's forbidden for Unknown Gods to interact with her. It's a universal decree."

Jiuge opened her mouth, but Agnos beat her to it. "It's not us who wants to meet her," he said lazily, gesturing toward me with a casual wave of his hand. "It's him."

Viracocha's gaze finally turned to me. For a second, his expression was unreadable. Then his eyes widened in shock.

"You," Viracocha said, pointing at me. His expression had gone from amused to something I couldn't place. "Who are you?"

"Me?" I echoed, raising my hands defensively.

"Uh… Carl?" I answered slowly. "Intern. Professional snack hoarder. Mildly traumatized zoologist."

Before I could say another word, Viracocha bolted toward me with startling speed, his opal eyes glowing with intensity.

"Who are you?" he demanded, his voice trembling with something that was both curiosity and fear. "Why do you have his will?"

"What? What will?" I stammered, leaning back in my chair as he loomed over me.

"You reek of his essence," Viracocha continued, ignoring my protests. "This... this can't be a coincidence. Who sent you here?"

Silence.

Jiuge's expression had turned unreadable. Agnos, for once, wasn't smirking. Something about what Viracocha said had put them on edge.

"Okay, timeout!" I yelped, waving my hands frantically. "I have no idea what you're talking about. I just wanted to help with their mission, not... whatever this is!"

Viracocha narrowed his eyes, studying me closely. "You don't know, do you?"

"Know what?" I snapped, thoroughly exasperated.

He straightened, his expression darkening. "This changes everything."

"Great," I muttered under my breath. "Because my life wasn't complicated enough already."