A Zoologist’s Guide to Surviving Magical Creatures

"Are you sure Viracocha would want to meet me?" I asked skeptically, shifting nervously from one foot to the other.

From what Agnos and Jiuge had explained earlier, Viracocha, the Inca creator god, wasn't exactly the type to roll out the welcome mat for a mortal like me.

He was one of the big shots on The Council, responsible for Mythica's urban planning, magical architecture, and the cosmic feng shui that kept everything running smoothly.

Not to mention, he was the mastermind behind the Eternal Prison—a place I sincerely hoped I'd never find myself in.

I didn't know exactly what it looked like, but with a name like Eternal Prison, it had to be the kind of place that gave even gods nightmares.

"Yes," Jiuge replied curtly, not even looking up from the rows of cabinets she was rifling through.

"Must you keep confirming the same information multiple times?" Her tone carried the kind of exasperation usually reserved for someone dealing with a hyperactive child.

"Hey, is it wrong to double-check? What if you missed some crucial tidbit that could save my life?" I shot back, folding my arms defensively.

She turned to me, her eyes narrowing. "Really? Then tell me, Carl, how long ago did we leave Lyngvi and arrive at Viracocha's office?"

"What do you mean? We haven't even left your sanctuary yet," I answered, confused.

"Exactly!"

"Oh…" The pieces finally clicked, and I gave her a sheepish grin. "Sorry. I get chatty when I'm nervous."

"One of these days, I'm going to electrocute you to death," she muttered, her fangs showing in a way that was far from playful.

I instinctively backed away, raising my hands in mock surrender. "Noted. Electrocution bad. Won't happen again."

I quickly slid behind Agnos, using him as my human—or rather, godly—shield. He didn't even flinch, still calmly sipping his tea like he was on a spa retreat.

"What's her deal, anyway?" I whispered, keeping an eye on Jiuge as she continued her intense search through the cabinets. "She's been on edge all morning."

Agnos shrugged, the corners of his lips twitching with the barest hint of a smile. "Must be one of those months," he said, his golden eyes sparkling with mischief.

"Ah," I said, nodding knowingly. "Got it."

The clinking of drawers and cabinets didn't slow, and my curiosity got the better of me. "So… what exactly are you looking for?" I asked.

"A token," she replied shortly. "We need it to request an audience with Viracocha."

"Wait, you need a token? Aren't you, like, one of the Unknown Gods? Shouldn't you have… I don't know… VVVVIP privileges? Maybe just send him a text and let him know you're dropping by?"

Jiuge stopped mid-search and turned to glare at me, her pink lightning crackling ominously. (Note to self: Fox gods do not appreciate logistical suggestions.)

Leaning against a nearby column, I crossed my arms and raised an eyebrow. "So, remind me again why you need this token to meet Viracocha?"

"Protocol, Carl. Even gods follow rules."

"Really? Because Agnos over there doesn't seem to be following much of anything except the bottom of his teacup," I quipped, gesturing to the feline deity lounging on a plush cushion.

Agnos, as serene as ever, sipped his tea with deliberate elegance, golden eyes shimmering with amusement.

The tension in the air felt almost tangible, like the static charge before a lightning strike. Jiuge's sanctuary was a whirlwind of pink lightning and scattered papers as she rifled through every cabinet, drawer, and hidden compartment.

Ancient trinkets, glowing scrolls, and what looked suspiciously like a magical snow globe rolled onto the floor in her wake. Her fox ears twitched in irritation, and her tails lashed like agitated whips.

"It has to be here somewhere!" she muttered, her voice rising with every frantic movement.

I couldn't help but snort. "Looking at all this chaos, maybe just send him a text and let him know you're dropping by? Save us all the drama."

Her lightning surged, the pink hue brightening the entire room. "Keep talking, Carl. See what happens."

I backed up, raising my hands in surrender. "Okay, okay. No need to turn me into a roast chicken. I'm just saying, maybe—just maybe—there's a more efficient way to do this instead of tearing your sanctuary apart."

Jiuge ignored me and continued with her search.

Agnos hummed thoughtfully, tapping a finger against his teacup. "Actually, Jiuge, you can call him. He's very fond of modern conveniences."

The room fell silent. Jiuge slowly turned to face him, her expression a mixture of disbelief and betrayal. "You're joking."

Agnos stretched lazily, clearly unbothered by her wrath. "To be fair, Jiuge, you should keep yourself updated about the current situation."

Her lightning flared again, and this time, I instinctively ducked behind a column. "Agnos," she growled, "if you've been sitting on this information the whole time, I swear I'll—"

He shrugged, a sly smile playing on his lips. "You never asked. You should stop watching your little Mythica short dramas and follow the social news sometimes."

"Is she always like this?" I asked Agnos, lowering my voice.

Jiuge whipped around, her glowing eyes narrowing to dangerous slits. "One more word, Agnos, and I'll make sure your next cup of tea comes with a side of lightning."

Agnos wanted to open his mouth to answer, but the pink glow intensified, and Jiuge shot him a look so deadly that it promised his tea-drinking days would be over if he dared say another word.

He wisely returned to his tea, looking very interested in the steam rising from the cup.

I patted Agnos's shoulder sympathetically. "I get it now. Totally understand why you guys got divorced." I whispered, earning a subtle flick of his tail that might have been a warning—or agreement.

After a few more minutes of tense rummaging, Jiuge finally let out a triumphant cry. "Found it!"

"Oh, thank the god!" I cheered, half-expecting a choir of angels to descend. "Can we leave now?"

But instead of leading us to some grand portal or magical transport, Jiuge pulled out her phone. A phone. I stared, slack-jawed, as she casually dialed a number.

"Hey, Vira. You in the office? Great! I'm coming over," she said, then hung up without waiting for a response.

Turning to us, she flashed a radiant smile. "Okay, let's go."