*000000*

Any plans I might have had shatter the moment I walk through my door and realize that Blake's been down here the entire time I've been away. Right, because she wanted to ask about White Fang things, and I put it off last night.

It's nice to see her, though, and there's something nice about the way she perks up a little and waves when she sees me.

"Hey."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I completely forgot you were here this morning." I scratch a spot on my neck, internally scolding myself a little more for my forgetfulness.

"It's fine, Ruby told me that a lot happened between you." Blake smiles knowingly as she reclines against the couch, her eyes twinkling as she watches me.

"Ah, y-yes, many things happened." I valiantly fail to suppress a blush. Ah, now I'm really wishing Ruby were within arm's reach. Goddess could I use someone to cuddle after all that.

"Heh. Anyway, if you don't mind filling me in on any plans for the White Fang?" Blake straightens up, giving me an expectant look.

"Yeah. I'll tell you whatever I can." I nod and sit down across from her, steepling my hands. "Although, actually, now that you mention it, I don't have anything concrete yet, only ideas. I'm going to need some sort of divination or mass surveillance to find them in the first place, which I don't have yet."

"Fair enough, I guess." Blake shrugs, though she still looks disappointed. "But when you find them, what are you going to do with them?"

"That's a rough question. It'd be nice if I could somehow just make them all disband, or take control, but I have no idea how I'd even go about that. I'll probably end up getting Oz involved and just turning them in to Vale's custody. It's not like I have any other way to deal with that many people personally." I sigh. "The local branch of the White Fang probably can't be salvaged after Adam doing his thing for as long as he has."

"Yeah, probably not." Blake acknowledges, looking downcast for a moment before forcibly changing the subject. "How about you? What've you been doing lately?"

My heart immediately drops down into my stomach. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Oh." Blake grimaces, the skin around her eyes crinkling. "I know that look."

"What?"

"I've seen it before. Whenever someone new came back from an operation that was being led by Adam. I didn't catch on right away, but..." Blake's tone is perfectly neutral as she fills in the dots all on her own. "That's the look of someone who just made their first kill."

I flinch away, sucking in a breath between clenched teeth as I try to bury myself in this chair. "It was self defense. But I don't want to talk about it."

"I..." Blake shakes her head, her eyes downcast. "No, sorry, I won't press you. It's making me anxious, but I can deal with that. Do you want me to leave?"

Normally I'd probably say no, but right now old habits of isolation and hyperfocus are gnawing at me to say yes, and at the end of the day I'm not quite close enough to Blake to be comfortable with the idea of letting her see me like this. "Yeah. I just need some space, is all."

"Alright. I'll see you."

Without any further ceremony, Blake gets up and leaves. Shortly after, I get up and trudge into my bed, ready to take some time for myself.

It takes forcing through some choice paralysis, but eventually I manage to immerse myself in reading, right up until my scroll goes off with a text notification.

Ruby: Hey, we got sort of interrupted this morning, so you want to go on a date?

Sil: Yes! Absolutely!

Sil: Where

Ruby: Well, our monthly equipment stipends just came in, so I was thinking of going shopping

Sil: ...for gun parts?

Ruby: and ammo

Sil: Alright, soon?

Ruby: Yeah! I'll send you the address

I can't contain myself. I squee in excitement, clutching my scroll against my chest while on the verge of happy tears.

I'm going on a date! More than that though, this is the first time anyone has ever invited me somewhere to spend time with them! It's almost as if my presence is welcome somewhere!

-----------​

Ruby's address leads me to what I would normally call a hobbyist shop, but is actually too big for it to really feel like one, and is filled with nothing but guns, ammo, and gun parts. Maybe half a Walmart worth of floor space. I wouldn't expect a place like this to be profitable back on earth (or even legal), but I guess in a world infested with big scary monsters of darkness that want to kill you it makes sense for the populace to be even more gung-ho about firearms than the collective state of Texas.

I'm the one who ends up arriving first (definitely not because I left my house the moment I finished texting Ruby because I couldn't contain myself even though I knew I would end up being unreasonably early), so I end up waiting for a bit, just listening to music with Amber in my lap (she didn't want to leave me be, and I made her promise not to interrupt anything gay before we left). It's always relaxing to put on a Rush album and just take the time to listen to it with my undivided attention.

Amber's stirring in and subsequent jumping out of my lap eventually drags me back to reality, just in time to catch Ruby running up to me and pull out my earbuds.

"Hey!" Ruby smiles widely at me and offers me a hand, pulling me to my feet and proceeding to keep holding onto my hand, making butterflies appear in my stomach. Only for her to get nervous the next moment. "It's not weird for our first date to be here, is it? I mean, you don't even seem to want a gun, and it's just a shopping trip I was going to make anyway at some point..."

"Absolutely not!" I deny, roused to passion over her concerns. "It's true that I don't have much interest in guns, but! I believe that girls are at their most amazing when they're passionate, and I'm absolutely delighted by the prospect of listening to you ramble excitedly, even when most of it goes in one ear and out the other! Also, your voice is pretty and I like listening to it."

A short giggle bursts past Ruby's lips as she immediately perks up a little, her free hand coming up to contemplatively pose at her chin. "Wow, you're right. You are even cuter when you're all passionate."

"...a..." I freeze up, my eyes wide and cheeks hot as I stare intently at the floor. This isn't fair, I don't know how to respond to being complimented, especially by girls, and I'm definitely not used to actually feeling when I think about that sort of thing.

"Oh, that expression's really cute too." Ruby teases, her free hand coming to pat my head. "Come on then, let's go shopping! I'll make sure to explain everything to you so you can listen to my voice."

Yee goddess, how is she so good at this? Being pet is relaxing though, and it's easy to go along, following by her side as she confidently leads us to an entire wall that's covered in display boxes with small parts in them.

"So, first I need to get new screws for my baby. I need to replace them every few months, which is actually less than I would if I primarily used more corrosive elemental dusts but I usually prefer gravity dust ammo for the mobility and armor penetration, although lately I've been trying some stuff out with Weiss and she said I should practice with ice dust more..."

Ruby's rambling is adorable and entertaining, bordering on enrapturing. It's so much fun to just listen to her explaining things and gushing about finding good parts on sale, things she wants to try with Crescent Rose, and all the combat nuances that come with her weapon's design, and she's so cute when she's all excited about things. I barely speak a word, only ooh-ing and ahh-ing over particularly nice pieces of machinery, and it's nice to not feel like I particularly need to say anything.

By the time she's done she's accumulated two large reusable bags' worth of heavy metal bits and bobs, both of which she hefts with ease.

"Let me carry those for you." I offer, quickly touching the bags and inventorying them for her, making Ruby blink.

"Oh yeah, I forgot you could do that. Great!" She chirps, immediately using one of her now free hands to grab one of mine in an iron grip and start leading me in another direction. "Let's get lunch next!"

I follow, happy to let her take the lead, though I'm a bit surprised by the mention. "Lunch? It's only lunchtime?"

"Yep!"

"Huh. It's been... a long day." Mostly because of the time dilated or time stopped hours I spent fighting robots. However it is that the dungeon works. "I think the rest of it is looking like it'll be pretty good, though."

Ruby shoots me a contemplative look and slows down a bit, linking her arm with mine as we walk rather than leading me excitedly by the hand. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Maybe, but not in public." I squeeze her hand appreciatively as her warmth starts to soak into my arm. "It's nice just being with you. On a date." Ah, just saying it out loud makes me feel a little giddy.

"Alright." Ruby stops walking in the middle of the street, looking around contemplatively before turning to me with a serious expression on her face. "I have no idea what to do now."

"Lunch?" I'm very hungry, even if I did occasionally eat in between all that fighting earlier. "I'll cook us something nice."

"Hmm, you always cook whenever you're with someone though." Ruby answers, giving me a contemplative look.

"I like cooking for people. It's nice, like I'm taking care of them a little." I smile gently at Ruby and squeeze her hand, though she doesn't seem quite convinced. My throat suddenly dry, I end up adding a little more. "It makes me feel useful."

"Oh." Ruby closes her eyes and nods solemnly, squeezing my hand back, only to perk up the next instant. "Alright, let's have lunch!"

-----------​

Lunch is quiet. It seems Ruby and I both have a tendency to focus completely on our food when we eat and not really try to have a conversation, which is neat! Being around her is just so comfortable, even when we aren't talking or cuddling.

We end up snuggled together after, letting lunch digest as I cling to her with my head buried in her shoulder as she strokes my hair. It's relaxing, comfortable, safe, and even as I'm relaxing I can feel some of the things I've been desperately holding back bubbling back up and catching in my throat.

It comes out as an erratic, broken up laugh, bubbling like oil as I tremble with the force of it all. It turns into a choked whine as I breathe back in and bury my head further into Ruby in a futile effort to escape my own thoughts.

"I should be dead. Why couldn't I have just stayed dead?"

"What?" Ruby breathes out the word quietly, uncomprehending.

I cackle humorlessly. I have to, because the alternative would be doing something drastic. "I died to get here. Did I mention that? I think I didn't, did I? I died, picked up my powers by chance or whatever, and here I am among the living, despite my best fucking efforts."

"What best efforts?" Ruby asks tensely as she squeezes me tighter into her side, her hand pressed firmly against my back.

"I killed myself. I think so, anyway. I don't remember the act itself, but it's pretty clear based on the last thing I do remember. I absolutely despise the fact that it didn't stick."

"Sil... I... that..." Ruby starts, stumbling tensley over her own words. I feel her take a long, slow breath and a mirroring exhale that seems to help her collect her thoughts. "But you're here now. And things are better than before, right? I'm here, and the others, and you're not alone. That has to be worth something, so please, whatever else it is, just live, okay?"

Some of the tension leaks out of me, the comfort of Ruby's presence taking its place as I close my eyes. "Okay. If you say so."

I can feel Ruby's furrowed brow as she looks down at me. "Just like that?"

"It's easier to do things if someone I like tells me to. I'm just, uh, kinky like that." I'm glad my face is buried in girl, because I'm definitely blushing right now. "And... uh, I'm not as close to the edge as it might have just sounded like I was. Like, I'm maybe a four out of seven in terms of danger to myself, and honestly that's basically been the norm for the majority of my life so I'm relatively stable, just having a bad day and bad thoughts and I've honestly kind of wanted to get this off my chest for a while."

"Okay." Ruby mutters as she gently strokes my back. "You scared me a little, but I think I get what you're saying."

"Okay." I nuzzle into the crook of Ruby's neck, pressing my lips gratefully against soft skin. "I killed a guy today."

"Uh..." Ruby trails off, looking at me uncertainly.

"Oh, sorry, do you want to not talk about that right now? I have kind of unloaded a lot of my emotional baggage on you already, haven't I?"

"No, actually, now that you've said it I think I need to know or it'll bother me."

"Right. So I can do this thing where I travel to another universe slash pocket universe slash I'm not entirely sure and fight things to get stronger quickly. I ended up in a dead world this time. A world that was deliberately wiped clear of all life by one person, who was the only one left alive. I had to kill him to be able to leave." I sigh and stare up at the ceiling, feeling uncomfortably numb. "It's pretty one-sided, and obviously I don't regret it. But... it worries me."

"I'm lazy. Or maybe not lazy, but I take the easiest path a lot, I give up a lot. I don't have a lot of willpower or much of an attention span. It used to be because I was so tired and depressed all the time, but at this point it's basically a habit. I know this about myself. So... when it comes to killing, I ultimately don't really trust myself. I'm afraid that if I get desensitized I'll end up doing whatever's convenient, or making rash decisions, and things like that. Because I hated him so much. And hate is the kind of thing that I'm used to reserving for myself, not others."

"I don't want to feel satisfied about having killed him because I don't want to make a habit of it. But... it was really satisfying. It still is. I'm glad that he's dead." I groan and cling tighter to Ruby's side. "I'm sort of paranoid about it, I guess."

"That's really sensible." Ruby says, comfortingly running her hand up and down my forearm. "It's good to take that sort of thing seriously, even if it sounds like maybe you're a little too worried about it because of, uh, things."

"Yeah. Thanks for listening. It helps to just sort of put it all together and say it." I stare up at Ruby for a moment, just appreciating how close we are before an idea pops into my head. I throw my arm across her, using the momentum to shift until I'm straddling Ruby's lap, my head at about the same height as hers as I look into her eyes. "So, I don't know if the mood might be kind of ruined or something, but you want to-"

Ruby cuts me off by pulling me in and enthusiastically kissing me. She's soft and warm and her scent is so comforting as she pulls me into her, making me melt into her touch and her lips. Our kisses are slow and exploratory as her hand gently rubs my back, both motions sending shivers down my spine.

My eyelids flutter as I pull back, breathing quickly as I stare into Ruby's shining silver eyes. They're so pretty, so deep, I could just... keep... staring...

"Sil?" Ruby asked, waving a hand in front of my face. "Can you hear me?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I was just distracted by how pretty your eyes are." I smile at her, then lean forward and rest my chin on her shoulder, clinging to her tightly as she blushes. She's so comfy.

"Ahhhh..." She squeaks a little, adorably. Then she hums, and her hand comes up to pat my head as she laughs. "Kissing is nice."

"Yep! Especially kissing you, 'cause you're so amazing."

"More?"

"Yes please."

The time before she goes back to Beacon is well spent by doing nothing but kiss and cuddle.

Early in the evening someone knocks at my door. Of course, I'm in the basement when they do, so the only reason I know they're there is the information that's being fed to me by my alarm ward. I put down the latest thing I've been working on and head up, slightly surprised to see Weiss standing on my doorstep, staring into the distance with a slightly blank look.

"Oh, hey Weiss. What's up?" I step back from the threshold, giving her space to come in if she wants.

"You... said that you were available to talk about certain things." She scrunches her face as she dances around the subject, looking anywhere but at me.

"Ah. By all means, come on in." I gesture, and she comes in and makes a beeline for the nearest couch, where she takes a seat, albeit stiffly. "Want some tea? Lemonade? Hot chocolate? Cream soda? Water?"

Weiss sighes, heavily. "Not right now."

I don't really know what to say to that, so I settle down and prepare to wait patiently for Weiss to open up. "Take as much time as you need."

And Weiss does, frowning intensely.

"My father called me today. I didn't answer."

"Ah." I nod. "Cutting off contact is a difficult thing to do. But a wise one."

"Is that so?" Weiss looks at me for the first time since she's arrived, quiet and reserved and uncertain.

"Some people can't be reasoned with. Or at least, aren't worth the time and energy it would take to reason with them." My eyes unfocus as my mind turns to my mother. "Sometimes you just have to cut them off. Because the fact is that they'll never actually respect you for being yourself. Never even so much as acknowledge that you're who you are instead of who they insist you are. No matter how much you wish you could have a family that loves you, and grow up in a place that actually accepted you. Instead she just ignores your demands, and there's no room to let that sort of thing fly, because if you do it'll just end in her making you feel guilty, like she's entitled to you, to the ability to dictate who you are, so you cry, lamenting the childhood you never really had and never will, the love you'll never be able to reach, the peace you'll never have. The longing that will never fade away. The loss of someone who should have cared about you but didn't. And no matter how much you tell yourself you don't care about her and what she says, every shitty things still manages to hurt you when you remember it, every last bit of disrespect hurts and makes you angry at the indignity and pain and abuse that was forced upon you by the circumstances of your birth until you well and truly hate her, and yet it hurts to think about anyway, and it'll always hurt because you did care when you were young, and before it got bad, before you even began to understand what was happening. But the worst part is that it's all being done by someone so self-righteous, so utterly self-obsessed that they think they're doing it for your own good, maybe even that they do in fact care about you, which is why they reach out, try to make good, but they're not even capable of understanding what they're doing to earn your ire, their worldview is just so twisted that they can never get better, the only way to try and stay safe is cut them off with a tourniquet and hope that some day the loss will heal."

I'm lost in a series of old emotions for a moment, unfocused on what's in front of me as I try to stop remembering so many nights that I cried myself to sleep, and the few times I made the mistake of trying to make contact. So much so that I don't know how long it takes for me to notice Weiss has gone as still as an ice sculpture, her eyes glassy.

"Weiss? Are you still with me?" I ask, quickly and quietly shoving down issues that I've already gotten as much closure on as I ever will. The thought that it's impossible that I'll ever see my mother again (seeing as how I'm dead back in the world I came from) helps a lot with that.

"You... are probably right." Weiss has a pained look on her face as she looks around the room. At her side, her hand is clenched in a tight fist.

"Yeah... sorry. I didn't mean to go off like that."

Weiss shakes her head. "It's useful information. In some ways you've described my feelings before I could even identify them."

"Ah. Well, want a hot drink? Tea? Hot chocolate?" I pause, awkwardly. "Those are actually the only kinds of hot drink I keep on hand."

"Hot chocolate." Weiss answers, with the kind of tone and thousand-yard stare that makes me imagine Ruby asking Qrow for a drink from his flask.

I pull the chocolate out of my inventory and set it down on a coaster before her without comment. Then I get up and drape a light blanket over her shoulders. "What kind of ice cream do you like? I've got pecan, dark chocolate cherry, salted caramel, rocky road, vanilla, strawberry, and blackberry."

"Ice cream?" For some reason, Weiss looks up and squints at me, her nose wrinkled like I've said something crazy.

"Well, I know that was accidentally kind of somber, and you're probably a bit torn up, but cutting off a toxic family member is something to celebrate! Worry about consequences or whatever tomorrow, today you deserve all the fucking treats and whatever else you want. I will pamper the shit out of you if you let me."

Weiss blinks at me, no response forthcoming for a moment. She leans forward, pressing her palm against her forehead and sighs heavily. "Why?"

"Because no one should have to deal with this kind of shit in the first place? Because I want an excuse to eat a bunch of ice cream? Because I respect you and I want to help you succeed, which means making sure you're not absurdly stressed? Because I don't really know how to support people through words anywhere near as well as through deeds?" I mime an exaggeratedly ponderous expression and shrug. "Lots of reasons, really."

With a subtle roll of her eyes Weiss shakes her head and uses her free hand to pull the edges of the blanket more firmly around her shoulders. "Fine then. Salted caramel." A slight hint of a smile twitches at the corners of her lips, only to be hidden as she takes a sip of hot chocolate.

"Now then..." I rub my hands together excitedly as I pick up my own mug of hot chocolate. "I've been wondering, what's theatre like in Remnant?"

Weiss inhaled with such suddenness that she immediately went into a small coughing fit, roughly pounding at her chest for a few moments until her throat calmed down.

"Is it really that surprising? I could've been a total theatre kid, if I weren't so naturally inclined towards math and science." I harrumph and pout faux angrily at her for effect.

"I suppose you are eccentric enough." Weiss observes. "And pretty enough, too."

My entire body twitches as I make a confused sound. "Aaaaaaaaaaa?"

Weiss languidly raises an eyebrow as she takes a deliberately loud slurp of hot chocolate. "What?"

"I... uh, am not used to being complimented." Oh wow I hope I'm not blushing right now. "How am I supposed to respond to that? That isn't a rhetorical question, by the way, I'm seriously asking."

"Thanks or a return compliment is generally good enough."

Damnit Weiss there's a smug look aimed my direction and it's really cute and is making my brain go to distracting places so now I'm definitely blushing as I pout and sullenly break off eye contact. "Well you're really pretty too."

"I know." Weiss flips her hair, sending it cascading in a nigh mesmerizing waterfall. "Though I do believe you wanted to know about the theatre?"

"Yes!" I snap at her, glad to finally be on an interesting topic. "I wish to absorb knowledge of the arts hailing from a strange land, so by all means, release your full nerdity upon me!"

What follows is an absolutely fascinating discussion that begins with some classical stories, pivots into a discussion of how the banning of tragedies eventually lead to the policies that incited the Great War, and from there to any old oddity of a world besieged by hostile monsters that I happen to find interesting. It's a lot of fun talking to Weiss, and by the time I serve her dinner she seems to have put her father entirely out of her mind, which I consider to be an absolute win. It's only as she's about to leave that I remember one last thing.

"Oh hey, before you go. Do you want a hug?"

It's another one of tonight's questions that Weiss needs some time to think over, visibly debating with herself over what to say until she finally purses her lips and answers. "Yes."

I don't waste a moment's time as I step forward and wrap my arms around her. It takes her a moment to reciprocate, but once she does it's a tight hug, the kind I'm intimately familiar with thanks to how often I've been getting them myself. The hug of someone who's desperately touch starved.

Eventually though, she seems to decide that she really does need to leave, and reluctantly ends it, even though she still has a look of longing. I pat her shoulder as reassuringly as I know how to. "You know Weiss, you're pretty cool."

Weiss' eye twitches, and I just grin dopily at my terrible pun.

"We should do this again sometime."

For some reason, that instills some kind of tension in her, and she hesitantly looks around before shouting her answer. "Fine!" Then immediately runs away.

You do realize she thinks you just asked her on another date, right?​

What? Date? That wasn't a date at all. It would be pretty shitty of me to make some sort of romantic move on her, considering the circumstances she came to me under and all. Besides, I would have said date if I'd meant date, that just doesn't make any sense.

I mean, just because I really like spending time with her, and learning about the things she likes, and talking to her, and pampering her, and I think she's really pretty doesn't mean that I have ulterior motives.

Oh, oops. I guess I have a crush on her now.

This was probably inevitable, but I wasn't expecting it quite so soon.

Congratulations. Anyway...​

[+50 Reputation with Weiss Schnee(80/100) for being there and helping]

Damn, that's a lot. But, well, that was a pretty significant amount of trust she put in me, and it's not like I could ever betray that or do anything less than my best.

Alone in my home, I smile gently to myself. I feel alright. Today's been... a long, complicated day. But at the end of it I can actually say that I like the way my life is going.

Hey, you still haven't used that skill point yet.​

Oh, right, thanks. Well, one last thing before I go to bed then. I browse through my menus as I get ready looking at what they're doing. It turns out that mastering one kind of magic makes other kinds finally become visible, but only those magics that have the mastered magic as a prerequisite. I can now see that biomancy requires geomancy and hydromancy, and necromancy requires geomancy and biomancy.

Although, there are actually multiple different kinds of magic that those terms could refer to.

Biomancy here is magic that affects living things, healing, changing, and controlling them. Necromancy is death magic, so negative energy, corpse animation, and interacting with spirits.​

Ah, in that case I seriously want both of those. Meaning, it's time to put it in hydromancy.

Shame this means I won't be able to make any Earth, Wind, And Fire jokes.

On the other hand, only the Avatar, master of all four elements, something something, I'm too tired to finish that, even in my own head.

Bedtime for me."Hello darkness my old friend." I'm a little disconcerted to find myself suddenly standing somewhere so dark I can't see anything at all, with a floor through which I can sense nothing at all. Considering that the last thing I remember was going to sleep, I can only guess that I'm being contacted in my dreams. "I've come to speak with you again.

It's creepy, being somewhere this absolutely dark with no mental map of my surroundings. So I sing gently as I bend my knees and start to feel about for anything in front of me. "Because a vision softly creeping, left its seeds while I was sleeping. And the vision that was planted in my brain, still remains, within the sound of-eep!"

I jump as a cool hand touches my brow, the action abnormally startling when I can't even begin to predict it.

"I hath finally found thy intent, and thy form." A quiet voice whispers intimately into my ear and sends a trill of fear down my spine, and no hint of warm breath comes with it.

"What are you? What do you want?" I stand as still as I can, and the longer I have to adjust the more the hand on my brow feels almost comforting.

"I come to repay a debt of thine blood." The hand glides up and runs through my hair, patting my head. "Fear not the obstruction of mine form. Or, rather, it's expansion."

"I don't recall doing something that would put a being such as yourself in my debt." Okay, this doesn't sound so bad, at least. And, well, at least this mysterious being is friendly. It's hard to not be calmed by headpats, and this darkness is starting to grow on me.

"You will. Now, let the debt of blood be paid in kind." I can feel something thick and cold trickling down my back, almost burning as I feel its power being absorbed into my body.

The cold spreads through my body, making me feel tired and sluggish until I drift back into my usual dreamless sleep.

-----------​

I wake up in someone's arms, which is weird because I don't think there was anyone else here when I went to bed last night. Oh well, I'm comfy so I'll just ignore that for the next few minutes.

"No, at least wake up a little." An annoyed voice that I don't recognize at all answers my thoughts, and a hand gently shakes my shoulder.

"Alright." Reluctantly, I turn around, coming face to face with myself.

I blink.

"I'm too tired for this." I turn back around.

"Alright like, mood, but no, seriously. It's all good news." The other me turns me back around.

"Fiiine. So are you a clone? Did that god or whatever animate my shadow? Or are you my evil alter ego, which I really hope isn't the case, because that's a really shit trope for all sorts of reasons."

"Eh, a little of columns A, B, and C. I'm your shadow, but in a 'the repressed parts of your personality way', and not in a 'being a completely different person' way, but also not in the Persona way. I'm not really hostile though, I just want us to be happy and shit. Really, I look forward to being a voice of reason, maybe getting you to be a little selfish without hating yourself for it for once."

"So, Fray?"

"Yeah, basically Fray. I'm not calling myself that though. Or Esteem."

"Right." I take a moment to ponder. Ugh, I'm bad at names. "How about Lis?"

"I..." Lis sighs. "Yeah, I'll take it. It's not like I'm any better at names than you are."

"Cool." I lay there awkwardly, staring at Lis. She's really pretty. Must have buffs from being born from a god's blood or something. I wish I was that pretty.

"Stop that."

"What?"

"I'm literally you. I can tell what you're thinking. Keep it up and I'll start forcing you to stare at yourself in mirrors until you internalize how pretty you are."

I wince. "You wouldn't. That would be torture."

"Try me." Lis cracks her knuckles.

"Alright, alright, you win." I'm not trying that. "Let's just cuddle?"

Lis raises an eyebrow at me. "When I say that I'm you, I do mean that literally."

"Okay...?" I answer, not sure where she's going with this.

"That means we have the same interests."

"I mean, I do talk to myself about things a good bit, so that sounds pretty nice."

"No, we have the same interests." Lis moves, straddling my hips as she presses my shoulders into the bed, her grin almost predatory.

"Ah..." Well that escalated quickly, not that my mind didn't go here immediately in the first place. I can't help it, I blush and look away, even as I lean into her touch and feel her chest pressing softly against mine. I trust her. Of course I do.

"Look at me." Lis takes my chin in her hand and forces me to look in her eyes, blue and beautiful and deep. "Good girl." She leans the rest of the way, her lips pressing firmly against mine as I melt under her.

She knows just how to kiss me, to touch me so that I whimper and squirm. Her fingertips trailing up my bare thigh while she squeezes my wrists hard enough to hurt a little, just as a reminder of how at her mercy I am.

Then she stops and looks down on me with a gloriously smug expression, leaving me to simmer in my hopes of what she'll do to me.

"Now, if you want me to keep going you'll have to promise to look in a mirror and say that you're pretty out loud every morning."

"Wait, you're using sex as a way to tempt me into dealing with my issues? Damnit, that's... completely understandable. Curse your insider knowledge."

"Yeah, you're welcome for all the vast amounts of self-love and support you'll be getting from me later." Lis rolls her eyes, already certain that I'll do it.

"I'm..." I look away, my mind already rebelling at the idea. "I know I should. So fine, I guess."

"Good, now git on up then." Lis says, pulling me up and out of bed. "You've got a lot to do today."

"Ugh, damnit, I do." I groan as I comply, doing my best to resist the fluffy soft call of my bed. "Does that mean we're not even actually going to do anything else now?" I continue to crave all the close contact.

"Don't worry, I'm sure we'll be able to make some time tonight." Sil says as she grabs me by the shoulders and leads me to my bathroom mirror. "Now go on, and no looking away from the truth."

"Okay..." I steel my nerves and look into the mirror. It doesn't feel like I'm looking at myself, not because of some sense of dysphoria but because I'm just not used to thinking of myself as all that pretty. It's true though, I'm small and cute and pretty and it's everything I've ever wanted. "I'm pretty."

I immediately blush and look away. That feels so embarrassing.

"Alright." Lis hugs me and pats my head. "That'll do for today. Good job." She then proceeds to melt into the floor and reattach herself to me as my shadow, which I'm only now realizing I didn't have from when I woke up.

Neat.

Morning is nice and peaceful, up until a text from Qrow interrupts my breakfast and forces me to start rushing.

Qrow: I made the arrangements. Meet me at this landing pad at 9 am.

Right, he's probably talking about the licensing exam.

Ugh, I really hope this doesn't take too long. I feel like there's just too much to do and too little time to do it all the damn time lately.

-----------​

"Alright, so what's the deal?" I ask Qrow as I clamber into the bullhead's cabin, closing the door behind me. It's only the two of us in here, plus a pilot in a separated chamber.

"It's simple enough. Prove you have what it takes to not get killed by Grimm in a somewhat active area for six hours. That'll be enough to qualify you for a class B. Do something dangerous and irresponsible enough without my needing to bail you out and that's a class A. Get knocked around by the first non-baby Grimm you see but handle the weak ones well enough and that's a C."

"Isn't that a bit lax? I mean, you just let anyone do this?"

"There are always supervisors for these, and anyone with an aura is encouraged to take them, so that we can get information about them on file. It's important to keep track of who's awakened or not, for the sake of settlement management and crime prevention." Qrow shrugs. "Most of them just get a C and a job offer to be a settlement idea head."

"Militia head?"

"You can't put a bunch of people with awakened auras in a settlement or it'll attract an unsustainable number of Grimm, so it's common practice to have one moderately competent person there to handle regular culling of Grimm, who posts a job for any large migrations or Alphas who come through the area. Larger settlements will slowly gain more permanent hunters over time, as their impact becomes less proportionately relevant."

"Makes sense." It's always interesting to learn a little more about how this place works. "How are things going with Yang and Ruby?"

Qrow huffs, crossing his arms as he leans back and glares at me. "They're lovely nieces and I probably should have been spending more time with them before. I'll be busy in Mistral for an undetermined amount of time soon, though."

"Do you not get vacation days?"

Qrow narrows his eyes in the direction of Ozpin's tower. "I don't know, but this is essential."

"Well, if you ever decide to tell Oz that you're cashing in like twenty years or something worth of vacation days at once please get a picture of his reaction so that I can hang it up on my wall or something."

"Sure." Qrow snorts, adn from there the conversation dies down, so I pull out my phone.

You know, there is a question I think I want to ask Blake, since she's most likely to know the answer.

Sil: so if you do selfcest, does that count as losing your virginity?

Blake: hot but no, obviously not

Blake: selfcest is just enhanced masturbation

Blake: wait, why are you asking me this?

Sil: uh, no reason

Sil: also, my life is really busy right now and I might not have a chance until after this week, so feel free to ask Ruby about what happened yesterday if you want to

Blake: oh, alright, yeah, I'll do that

Blake: I still feel like there's a reason you asked me that though

Sil: it's because you're the biggest pervert I know (this is a compliment)

Blake: right...

Blake: I guess you aren't wrong, but that's not what I was asking about, exactly

Sil: don't worry~, you'll see at some point

I put my scroll back away as I feel the bullhead slowing down and Qrow asks me a question.

"You have a landing strategy, right?"

"Bitch, I can fly too ya know." I stand up, rolling my shoulders as I pull out another flight pad and activate it right as the bullhead door opens.

"Hmmph." Qrow grunts as I jump out, following closely after me in the form of a bird.

Below is a forest that I can only guess is Forever Fall, since it's all golden brown and pretty like. We're a good ways away from the city though, as I can't even see Amity Tower anymore, so it should be pretty wild. I go ahead and land right away, since I want to see what practice I can get when it comes to using tremorsense.

It's pretty neat down here, I never really got to see much of fall when I was in Texas, the state whose only seasons are summer and summer but with allergies and nights that get under seventy degrees, so this is absolutely a treat.

As I'm looking around Lis comes out, wearing some armor of her own. On her hands are plated gauntlets, dyed pastel pink that come up to her forearms and meet with her armor. A heavy, black and gold-edged thing inlaid with rubies and a pink chain skirt that goes down to her feet like a dress. Her headdress is silk, also dyed pink, and her boots are heavy, decorated greaves that match the armor.

"Hey, that's just the Dark Knight glam I use in Final Fantasy XIV."

Lis shrugs as she draws a heavy sword that's about as long as three quarters of our height from its place across her back. It's also pink, but shinier. "It's appropriate."

Then a bird flies out from the trees and transforms back into Qrow, who stares at us skeptically. "Outside help is forbidden, you know."

"Oh hey Qrow, this is Lis. She's sort of my therapist, sort of my dark side, and sort of a battle summon. Do alter egos capable of manifesting their own temporary bodies count from my shadow as being outside help? I really think they shouldn't."

Slowly, Qrow looks between the two of us, then grabs his flask and takes a heavy swig. "Alright. Fine. Whatever." He turns around and goes back to watching us as a bird.

What follows is just a bunch of wandering around and killing whatever Grimm we find. Some big ones, but there doesn't seem to be anything all that dangerous to me in here at this point. It's a good opportunity to practice my hydromancy at least, throwing together as many moves ripped off of Avatar as I can think of. Luckily, I can also create water, so finding it isn't an issue for me.

Qrow comes back out of hiding in about three hours, by which point it's started getting hard to actually find any grimm. "Alright, alright, that's enough. You're clearly qualified for a class A license."

"Huh?" I tilt my head, confused. Qrow gives me a flat look.

"You're mopping up hordes of at least fifty grimm at a time like they're nothing, occasionally including support from alphas or wyverns. That's on par with the performance of an entire second year team at Beacon."

"Oh, well, when you put it like that..." I shift awkwardly from side to side. I guess magic really is effective, especially for the aoes I've got clearing out groups of enemies with increasing ease as I've been getting better at working with arcana. Also, you know, the majority of grimm are rather weak compared to me.

"Yeah. I'm calling it here. Good job." Qrow tacks that last part on awkwardly, patting me on the back just a little too hard, probably by accident.

"I'll take it." This has been productive, good training for both hydromancy and arcana, and there's not much reason to stick around with the amount of grimm so sparse.

Quest completed: License to Maim

Objective complete: Get a hunter's license by means of practical exam

Bonus objective 1 complete: Get a rank B hunter's license

Bonus objective 2 complete: Get a rank A hunter's license

Reward: 200 credits, weapon gacha crystal, +1 all stats

Bonus reward 1: 1,000 credits, 2x armor gacha crystal, gacha crystal, x25 random stat crystal

Bonus reward 2: 3,000 credits, 2x rare gacha crystal​

Oh, right, I'd completely forgotten about that. Those are some nice rewards, too, especially for what turned out to be such an easy time. Well, it probably would have been harder before I fought Malos and all that. Those rewards, though. They're actually completely different from what I've been getting most of the time. I wonder why?

It's because when you came up with the idea you thought of it as something you could do to train, thus making it a training quest, instead of a story quest or a dungeon quest. Note how there's no experience reward.​

Oh, that's really interesting. And it makes a lot of sense, considering that it gives stat increases. Training should give you raw strength at a base sort of a level, so of course that's what this gives. I'll probably end up trying to get a lot of these when I'm no longer dealing with all sorts of other time crunches.

Oh, hey, this means that now it's time for gatcha! Gimmie that dopamine baby. I'm hitting that weapon crystal up first.

You have received an iron dagger.

And there it is in my hand, one plain iron dagger, fresh out of Skyrim. Well, I guess every roll can't be a winner. Let's try those armor ones next.

You have received an ao dai

Huh. Well, it's not actually armor so much as it is a nice dress, but it is a very pretty blue dress that matches my scales perfectly. I'll fucking take it. Next.

You have received a replica of Auska's Plugsuit

"What the hell is that?" Qrow asks, voice dry as the desert.

"You shut your manwhore mouth and forget that you saw anything!" I shout at him, hastily inventorying the outfit. That'll be, uh, interesting to investigate later.

Yes. Interesting.

I'll use the stat crystal as a way of distracting myself.

+25 luk

Okay, cool. Now for the rare ones, which are mighty appealing indeed.

You have received The Uncanny Blade Of Mercy

In my hands is an ugly, messy blade. Two blades somehow shaped into one short, deadly and lightweight sword with barely a hilt, covered in grime and blood. Yet beneath that blood shines silver, subtle yet deadly.

Oh. Fuck. I think I know what this is from. Observe.

A special trick weapon passed down among hunters of hunters. One of the oldest weapons of the workshop. Splits into two when activated. The weapon's warped blades are forged with siderite, a rare mineral of the heavens. Damage scales with intelligence as well as strength and dexterity.

"Fuuuuuck." This is a Bloodborne weapon. Well, at least it's not the Kos Parasite or something like that. It's just a sword, really. A magic sword, made from a meteorite. Actually, that's probably a good thing. I don't think there's any sort of eldritch god power in here, it's probably just some other sort of power from beyond the stars.

Fun fact, with trick weapons you can wield them effectively in both forms so long as you have a weapon skill for one of the forms. Also, the split apart form of that counts as daggers.​

Son of a bitch. This is useful, yet concerning. Because fucking Bloodborne, man. Way up there on the list of places I never want anything to do with, just behind Worm and DOTA 2. Eldritch space gods are only cool when you're not actually at risk of going insane from them, and no I don't want to take the risk that gamer powers can protect me.

But, well, these are some damned powerful daggers that fit my build as a mage really well. I'll probably be using this from now on.

Alright, please don't let this next roll be something that makes me worried for my sanity.

You have received The Hammer of Hephaestus

Okay, that doesn't sound nearly as concerning. What exactly does it do?

A powerful artifact of the God of the Forge that can be used to repair any object, and will then shatter, losing its power.

Oh. Oh shit. That sounds like it could repair the Aegis Core Crystal. I'll have to do that, but not until after my excursion with CFVY, I think. If I'm going to revive Mythra, I can't then just leave town for an indeterminate amount of time. Nor can I ask her to come with me into a combat situation, that would just be shitty.

Just as I'm putting the hammer away, I can hear the bullhead approaching. It doesn't even have to land this time either, since Qrow and I just fly on board and into the cabin.

I'm about to just browse my phone on the way back, but there is one more thing about yesterday that I haven't been thinking about. And really, Qrow is probably the best person to talk about it with.

"Hey, so, I figured out my semblance the other day."

Qrow's attention snaps to me quickly. "Oh?"

"It's... I don't like it. I wish it were something else." I feel small just admitting it. Ashamed, almost.

There's a long moment of silence. "That bad, huh?"

"Yeah." I can tell Qrow, I think. "It's a berserker sort of a thing. I stop being so good with magic, stop thinking about tactics so much and it makes me stronger so I can just rush forward and enact violence. It's not... how I like to act. It's not the kind of person I want to be, but it's not not fitting, I guess."

"Repressed anger, huh?"

"Yeah. You could say that." I sigh, leaning to the side so I can watch the scenery blur by below the bullhead. "The world is fucked up, and no amount of lashing out in anger is going to help that, but by Vesta would it be a fucking relief to go on a spree of burning down everything Jacques Schnee or anyone like him has ever so much as touched."

Qrow just grunts, agreeably. "I don't really have much in the way of advice for you. That's the kind of shit people deal with for their whole lives."

"Figures." I sigh.

You could just kill Jacques Schnee, you know. Lis whispers in my head, something I hadn't even known she could do. The consequences can only be positive, since it's not as if that'll make the SDC no longer able to supply Remnant with dust.

That's definitely not happening right now. I already went over this with Ruby yesterday, you know that. Besides, as far as I'm concerned the entire Schnee family has dibs on killing the guy themselves and they deserve that opportunity.

True. Still, Ironwood is in town.

Stop that. I thought you're supposed to not be evil.

I'm not, I'm a vigilante. You know this.

Right. Fair enough, I guess. Still not going for that.

"On the semblance side of the situation, however, you clearly need some training."

"Sorry, what?" I look back at Qrow, having lost track of him.

"Most semblances can be trained, they can be improved. With enough practice you can probably manage to keep more and more control of yourself while using it."

"That... is probably true." I frown, thinking. I have these numbers that represent things, and my semblance is changing them, but is that effect absolute? Other than making various other numbers go up, I'm not entirely sure how much of an effect int and wis actually have on my thought process.

Sure, I've noticed that I've been better at doing math in my head lately, but the scaling of that is very soft. I bet it can be pushed with enough training, experience, and self-control.

That's a huge relief, actually.

"Thanks man."

-----------​

I spend the whole afternoon preparing everything I can think of to help in case of large numbers of grimm and innocent townsfolk being too close together. Mostly more flight pads and some magic grenades that hopefully kill grimm and only grimm.

Then, just after dinner, I head out and start flying to Lower Cairn. I can't ride along with CFVY, after all. Officially I'll just happen to have been in the area and available to help out if/when something drastic happens.

The trip is interesting, it's actually the most of Vale the country that I've seen so far. There continues to be a lot of woodland, occasionally dotted with civilization or dirt roads, but mostly untouched, and it gets more sparse the farther from Vale I get. It takes more than three hours of flying to reach my destination.

Lower Cairn is next to the mountain range that divides Vale from Vacuo, it's small and defensible, protected by the gorgeous mountains and valleys around it. Fortunately, the city seems fine when I arrive, lit up in the night and not active, but not eerily silent either, so I touch down on the edge and walk in, taking up a hotel to stay at overnight. Coco and the others probably beat me by a lot, but she said that they were being briefed tonight, and wouldn't be doing anything else.

Since I haven't gotten a text saying otherwise, I'm retiring. It's not like there's anything to do in a town this tiny anyway. It's absolutely wild to see a town with no paved roads or cars though. I'm pretty sure this place is only barely above two hundred people.

-----------​

Coco drags herself out of bed to the blaring of her team's alarm, like usual. And as usual, the others are still there, burying their heads under the covers. She's the only morning person on the team, and they end up going through this routine almost every morning, so it's entirely normal for her to stalk over to Velvet and yank away her sheets, forcing her to open her eyes and try to grab them back.

"Awww, come on. I thought we didn't need to be ready until ten." Velvet groans, pouting fiercely at her team leader.

"It's eight, more than late enough for us to be getting up." Coco says, rolling her eyes. Velvet was lucky she was so cute when she was all sleepy, or else she might have started spraying the girl with water for those puppy dog eyes she kept trying to get more sleep with.

Velvet frowns, her brow furrowing as she looks around the room in response to Coco's answer. "But it's still so dark out."

"What?" Coco blinks, looking around the room. Velvet's right, it is strangely dark. The sun should be up by now, but only the faint glow of moonlight seems to be filtering through the curtains. There weren't any storms or heavy clouds on the weather forecast either...

Coco checks her watch, but it also says that it's eight in the morning. So it wasn't an issue with the clock.

"I don't like this. Something feels wrong." Now Velvet's worried, her hands balled into fists.

"Right, I'll check outside, but get Fox and Yatsu up, we can't be late for this." Coco gives her girlfriend one last pat on the head before strolling over to the window and pulling aside the curtain, letting a sickly, unnatural light fill the room. "Oh gods. What... what the fuck?"

Above her the moon still hangs steadily in the sky, with no glimpse of the sun in sight. And yet worse, the moon before her is wrong, its light the red of fresh blood as it illuminates the little town of Lower Cairn, seeming to bathe everything before it in death and sickness. Red and whole. Unsundered, unshattered, a full sphere.

"What happened to the moon?"

Sil Marilis will return next chapter in:

A Hunter Must Hunt