Zeroth Moment: My Cheat Skill Is Stupid, So I'll Just Ignore It

Topher's heart lurched in his chest; disgust and horror washed through him, drowning out all his emotions. His jaw dropped open. "You can't be fucking serious."

"I am." Zanasha nodded solemnly; a single tear leaked from each eye before she could blink them away, and she scrubbed at them with the back of her forearm with evident frustration before meeting his gaze again. "She has confided in me on multiple occasions, ever since your defeat of the Capras in Orvale, that she feared your company -- feared what would happen between you, should we continue to journey together. After our... conversation... in the Lava Mountains, I entreated her to share her heart with me. At first, she was reluctant, but..." The half-orc sighed and gathered her will once more. "She longs for the touch of your hand upon her brow; for the warmth of your embrace. She has told me this. I do not know any other way to understand it."

Topher felt like he was going to throw up; his guts roiled with emotion, and his eyes felt like they were going to burst from his skull. With difficulty, he composed himself; patted Zanasha's hand as best he could. "I'll talk to her. And if that's really how she feels, I'll let her down easy. But this can't go on. Not if we're going to stay together."

At these words, some complex emotion flared behind Zanasha's eyes; hope and fear and worry and longing all mixed together in something Topher couldn't read or understand. But, after a moment, she just nodded and released his hand. "I understand. Cha'tuk, Friend Topher. You are very brave."

"If I was brave," whispered Topher, his heart breaking, "I could tell the woman I loved how I felt." But he turned and walked away into the darkness, before his weakness could wring any further words from him.

He found Hana alone in the darkness, in a far corner of the cave; she faced, in a tense battle stance, a section of the rock wall which was scored through with sword strokes. At the sound of his footstep, she turned, alert; but upon seeing him, she relaxed, turning back to the wall. "I can't do it again. Not like I did with Vashyarl."

Topher, nodding, sat down beside her. "I know. It's like... you aren't who you were in that moment, right?"

She nodded, letting out a deep sigh, and sheathed her Flux Blade before sitting down beside him; they faced the rock wall together in silence for a few moments. After another pause, she looked over at him shyly from under her lustrous hair. "Is it like that for you, too?"

"Sometimes," Topher admitted. "Other times, it's like..." -- he groped for words like a man trying to find his cell phone charger in the dark -- "...it's like when you take a math test, and you know you studied for it, but you can't remember the answers. Or how to do the problems. Shit, I don't know." He sighed, looking over at her -- forcing himself to really look, to see her for what she was rather than his own fears and insecurities. "Why did Zanasha tell me that you were in love with me?"

As he watched, he saw her lips part; and he realized, despite everything, that she really was beautiful. Her C-Rank Charisma might have originally troweled false glamour atop an insecure girl once, but he'd watched her go through hardship and self-doubt that would have broken a lesser woman; her strength and her friendships had given her a second chance -- one that she'd nurtured and guided up from within herself -- and he could see, for the first time, that the girl within had become just as beautiful as the one on the outside. And for once, Topher didn't feel threatened by that beauty -- didn't feel the need to run or look away -- but also knew without a shadow of a doubt that it didn't have anything to do with him. He wouldn't be teased, or mocked, or made to feel small or ugly. He just had to be honest.

There was a moment of silence, of an indrawn breath, and then the young Japanese woman looked away. "I don't know. I want to be mad with her for breaking my confidence, but... it's not like I haven't done worse to her. And she was probably just trying to help." She looked back at Topher, her heart in her gaze, and regarded him with sadness. "You don't love me back, though. Isn't that right?"

He shook his head; forced himself to meet her gaze. "I'm sorry, Hana. I'm in love with someone else. And you can probably figure out who."

They sat there in silence for a long while; Hana dropped her face to her knees and cried for a few minutes, but her tears dwindled to sniffles before too long, and she heaved a great sigh and sat, very still, for another long minute. Then, her head came up, and Topher was surprised to see an easy smile on her face. "I'm glad. She deserves something better than what she's been given in life." Looking up at the rocky ceiling, she began to rock slightly back and forth, hugging her knees. "When we first met you, that was all I could think about; that you would do something to take her away from me. And so it was easy to betray you -- to pretend that I was just protecting myself, us, what we had. Our little cottage." She stilled. "But after watching you suffer for us, over and over again -- your bravery despite your obvious fear, your forgiveness in the face of your own hurt and anger..." she shook her head. "I don't really know if it was love, like what I had with Ichirou. I don't even know if that was really love." She buried her face in her knees again. "All I know is that I don't want to be alone."

"Hana," Topher said after a while, "I want to tell you three things." He paused, trying to assemble his thoughts. "The first is that I'm... honored... by your feelings. Whatever they might be." He followed her gaze, looking up at the ceiling. "The second is that I don't think either of us are going anywhere, at least for now. And to be honest, even if we did, you're strong enough to be on your own. So don't be afraid of that." Slowly, he stood, noticing with momentary confusion that his joints and muscles no longer ached, and spread his arms wide. "And third, we can still be friends. And friends are allowed to hug from time to time."

There was a brief, heartbreaking moment of pain where she stared up at him; then, all at once, she was hugging him, unleashing a torrent of tears into his shirt as sobs wracked her slight, muscular body. Topher wrapped his arms around her and gently returned her embrace, patting her back and making soothing sounds; and to his surprise, he didn't feel nearly as awkward and embarrassed as he'd expected. A warmth, tiny and feeble but nevertheless real, blossomed in his heart as he remembered what it was to care for others beyond their value to him; and in the cold, dead hearth of his soul where ash lay around the memories of Haruko, Hotaka, Makoto, and even Noboru, a single ember stirred.

Maybe everything wasn't over yet.

Finally, an unknowable amount of time later, she quieted; emptied of tears, she pushed him away and bowed, so deeply that her head was pointed directly at his crotch. "Thank you for acknowledging my feelings, Bailey-sama."

Resisting the urge to wave it away or assuage his own discomfort, instead he bowed back, doing his best to keep a straight face. "Thank you for trusting me with them, uh... Shirakane-san? Is that right?"

She giggled, punching him playfully on the shoulder. "So formal! You could at least call me Shirakane-chan!"

"Yeah, I don't know the difference," Topher admitted. She giggled again, then sobered. "We should go back. I don't know what the others are doing." Topher nodded, and they retraced their steps; they found that the others had dispersed, with about half of the six girls helping Rudo with his cooking and the other half braiding Zanasha's hair. Okano and his wife were sitting alone, talking in low tones; after a moment, they kissed long and deeply, and then Okano stood and came towards them. "Shirakane-san," he said, very formally to Hana, "would you mind assisting my wife with some of her tasks? Muchenje-san has told us of your prowess with plant cultivation; a small number of very particular herbs and blossoms would greatly improve our chances for survival over the next few days."

Hana nodded, eyes bright. "It would be my honor, Okano-sama." She bowed deeply; Okano nodded back and watched her depart, then turned back to Topher. "I know you have further questions; I can only spare a short period, but I will do my best."

"Yeah. Oh, boy." Topher crossed his arms and tried to think. "Last I saw you, you and Sugimoto were headed off to the Infinite Dungeon; how'd that go?"

"Poorly," the blonde boy admitted, rubbing his metal arm as though it pained him. "I was maimed in my defense of Strathmore Castle; Nakano-san -- my wife, now -- created an enchanted limb for me to replace my lost one. We grew closer during the process, and..." he shrugged, then looked away. "One thing led to another. In a few days, I received a vision that she was with child."

"Hey, congratulations," Topher began, but Okano overrode him with a shake of his head. "It was not as joyous an occasion as it should have been. The vision showed the unborn child in her womb perishing long months before its birth -- a casualty of the battle to confront the Demon Lord. My heart was seized with a terror I had never before known, and I dedicated every waking moment for many days to finding a path which would preserve her life and that of my son." His head drooped with sorrow. "In the end, it became clear to me that the only hope was for us to flee -- to betray and desert Sugimoto-sama and the others, though the consequences would be dire. Hopeless, I convinced Nakano-san of our plight, and she agreed to my plan, provided I make her my wife." He let slip a tiny, crooked smile. "The Sun Prophet Class is technically a Priest, so I performed our own rites. It was very silly." His eyes misted, but he quickly sobered and continued.

"My visions have shown me the aftermath of my decisions; Sugimoto-sama, furious at our betrayal, fought and killed Hikaru-san, who aided in our escape. Infighting and misfortune have since claimed the lives of many of the others; now, only Sugimoto-sama and his three companions remain. Things will get worse for them; Saiki-sama's promised portal on the nine hundredth level will never appear now that she has joined forces with the Demon Lord."

Topher's blood ran cold; he had to swallow several times before he could breathe again. "You're saying the Tiny Terror is working for the other guys now?!" The memory of her cool, dead gaze and her awesomely powerful spellcasting -- easily much more impressive than anything he'd seen even the Archmages do -- fluttered through his heart like a blade of ice. "Jesus Christ."

Okano nodded. "An apt sentiment. What will befall Sugimoto-sama and the others I do not know; the future is cloudy beyond the next week or so. But I do know two things." He faced Topher more squarely. "The first is that the Demon Lord is planning something -- something so dire that only black, quiet futures await us if it comes to fruition. And the second is that, for us to have any hope at all..." -- he pointed at Topher -- "...you must defeat Saiki-sama, alone."

Topher laughed; he couldn't help himself. "Me. You're serious. You're off your rocker, kid; completely out to lunch." He spun around, pacing in fury. "What the fuck is an old, fat F-Ranker going to do against little miss S-Tier Goddess of Death, anyway?"

"She is also now Queen of the Demons," noted Okano tonelessly, "a not inconsiderable expansion to her original power. But the specifics are not known to me; as ever, only glimpses of the future are possible, and even those are not certain. Working in tandem with Saiki-sama and Sugimoto-sama, I could cross-index and weight my visions, but that is no longer possible; we have only hope to carry us forward." He turned to look at Topher again. "I must keep my wife and child out of danger; I am sick of watching friends and classmates die for a war that is not our own in a foreign world. Please, Bailey-sama; I am begging you. Please help us." Slowly, he knelt, then placed his head on the ground with his palms flat before him such that his hands formed a V before his face. "We have no one else to turn to."

Topher sighed. "Get up, kid. You already know I'm going to say yes." He stared at his boots, grumbling to himself internally, as the boy rose and blinked inscrutably at him. "How do you know I can win?"

"I saw it," Okano returned, shaking his head. "A glimpse of a vision -- more a flicker than anything -- of a battle between you. You stood alone, facing her, as she levied spells and powers and twisted the air around you, but you did nothing. I do not understand why you didn't defend yourself, nor why you had no companions." He shrugged. "It is not my place. I am very tired, Bailey-sama, and very scared besides. I just want my wife and child to be safe." Unexpectedly, his face crumpled, and tears began to pour from his eyes; desperately, he hid his face behind his sleeve. "I am sorry. I am sorry."

"Jesus, hey, stop. Don't be like that." Awkwardly, Topher lunged forward and patted the young man's back; for a moment, he was afraid Okano would hug him and bawl like Hana had, but after a moment the young man mastered himself and stepped away. "I am well. It was only a momentary weakness."

"Yeah, well, maybe you get some sleep." Topher looked around the cavern. "Where the hell are we, anyway?"

"This place is an air-filled underwater cave -- sometimes known as a 'blue hole' -- beneath the eastern sea," Okano replied, scrubbing tears out of his hair. "It will not remain safe for long; we will all depart soon. But my wife -- Nakano-san -- is a capable builder of many things, including portals; she can take you anywhere you desire."

"Fantastic." Topher sighed and dusted off his clothes, stretching his back (more out of habit than anything, since it didn't even hurt at the moment). "Anywhere, eh?" Slowly, he grinned, a mischievous thought stealing across his mind. "Can you get me to Kelfir Leafwind?"