Zero to Hero: A High Fantasy Harem Romance LitRPG

Sword raised and shield held at the ready, I took a deep breath and stepped into the house. A mix of mildew, dust, something astringent, and a floral aroma washed over me as my boots thumped over the rotten wooden floor.

The interior of the cottage was covered in dirt, grime, and mildew. Dust motes floated in the few shafts of light that illuminated the space through the single dirty window set into the back wall. Looking everywhere at once, I cleared my head and got ready to engage whatever it was that was in here. However, instead of finding anyone—or anything—inside, all I found was an empty, decrepit cottage.

Then I heard it.

Shuffling. Coming from under the bed.

"Vral. Tristan."

"I hear it," Vral stepped beside me, daggers drawn.

"What is it?" Tristan asked from the doorway.

From the sounds it was making and the small space available under the sagging bed, it couldn't be big. "I don't think it's much, whatever it is."

"Still." Tristan began chanting in the Goddess's tongue.

[Bless]

A globe of white light surrounded us, then sank into our skin.

I immediately felt stronger.

I stepped forward, but unlike when she usually cast [Bless], Tristan continued to chant in the Goddess's tongue. A moment later, I felt my skin tingle as another spell took hold. Words I'd never seen before appeared in my mind.

[Revealing Light]

When she finished her spell, the air crackled with energy. A wave of transparent light radiated past Vral and me, filling the entire room around us with a barely visible purple haze.

"There. That should help you figure out what it is," She said behind us.

Turning so that I could see the bed and her, I saw that her breathing had gotten heavy. That had to have been a second or third circle spell.

As the light from her spell filled the space, the shuffling thing under the bed became a partially visible, if indistinct, blur through the mattress.

I understood the spell. At least, I thought I did. If my understanding was correct, her spell allowed us to see living beings through solid objects. Na-Ya had cast a similar spell down in Copperhold.

In seconds, I could clearly make out the tiny "monster" hiding under the bed.

"Tch, we're stupid." Vral sheathed her daggers. "Got all worked up for nothing."

Shaking my head, I sheathed my sword. "Well, I guess it's better to be safe than sorry, right?" Bending forward, I looked under the bed.

In the corner of the room, a little rat was lazily working on a decent-sized nest made of old clothes and tattered bedding. When it realized it was being watched, it paused, turned, and glared at me before getting back to its work.

"Sorry, Mr. Rat." I stood back up, leaving it to its business.

"What is it?" Tristan asked as she walked into the cottage.

"A rat."

"A rat? Damn it. I thought we'd find something way more interesting the first time I cast that."

"It was still a neat spell, Tris," Vral said over her shoulder. "What's it called?"

"Thanks!" She answered brightly. "It's called [Revealing Light]."

"Is that one of your new ones?" Vral poked at the bedding a bit, but she seemed mostly deflated from the anticlimactic end to this mini quest.

"It was the last one I learned from Na-Ya and Mother Varga before we left for Goodfield. I thought it might help us out the next time we went down into a dungeon."

"Yeah, if only we'd had that spell when we faced off against all those skitterslinks. Would've made that job way easier."

It sure would have. "Tristan, you okay? You're breathing pretty hard." Hopefully, that spell hadn't taken everything out of her.

"It's a little taxing on me since it's a third-circle spell, but I'll be okay." Despite the sweat coating her brow, she had a big, self-satisfied smile on her face. "Don't you think so, fearless leader?"

While I was proud of her for learning new and more powerful spells, I wished she'd be more selective when she cast them. Even considering how talented she was, the sounds of her heavy breathing told me she was still being too aggressive with her magic. That had been a recurring problem when we cleared Copperhold. Had she not been so talented, she'd have been completely gassed out when we needed her most during our fight against the rat king.

"Yeah, it's great."

She frowned. "You don't mean that."

I always forgot that her "roots" made it basically impossible to hide things from her. Not that hiding things from her was something I did often, but it was still a pain that she knew whenever I did. Worse, she'd been getting far better at catching us in little white lies since we'd gotten back to the temple. I never realized how important to a relationship those little fibs were until I couldn't use them anymore. Sometimes, you just wanted to do little surprises for your loved ones, and her roots made that super difficult.

A memory from two weeks ago flooded into my head. She'd been going hard for weeks, so I decided to do something sweet for her. I went out into the fields to the south of the temple to pick a basketful of her favorite flowers. When I got home, I covered her bed with them, hoping that she'd enjoy the little surprise I left for her to find after she finished another hard day of studies. However, when I ran into her fifteen minutes later, she immediately knew I was up to something. It was five minutes later that she marched to her room and ruined the surprise.

It was sweet as hell that she loved us so much. I wouldn't trade it for anything. But I needed to learn how to clear my head or something. It wasn't like she knew what I was thinking, but knowing how I felt when I was thinking things was difficult at times.

A guy's gotta have some secrets. Even if they were mostly about how gorgeous I found her all the time.

Pushing all of that out of my head, I gave her my best comforting smile. "You did good." I put my hand on her shoulder and squeezed. "Just remember what Faye said down in the Depths. Try to be a little more selective with your magic, okay?"

"Magic just comes to me so easily now. It's my first response to every problem."

"I know. It's no different than me reaching for my sword and shield. I totally get it. Just be mindful of your limits, alright?"

"Yes, sir."

She still sounded a little sad, and she only ever called me sir when she felt like I'd chastised her. That in mind, I turned around and gave her a quick kiss.

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A soft moan rumbled in her throat, and when I tried to pull away, she leaned in and kissed me back with twice as much fire. We stayed like that for a moment before breaking away. When we did, she whispered, "Thanks for the reminder, and the kiss. I needed both."

"Of course, love." Smiling as I pulled away from her, I felt her brush around me before she stopped by my side.

"Losers." Vral had a big smile on her face. I could tell she'd been watching for a while.

That made me laugh. "Jealous?"

"A little." She stuck her tongue out. "You'll fix that later, yeah?"

"You know it."

As Vral and I bantered, Tristan's sapphire eyes searched every inch of the cottage. "It doesn't seem like there's anything else—"

The ceiling creaked.

Vral's eyes shot toward the ceiling. "Uh, guys," Vral whispered as she pointed a dagger upward.

Turning, I saw that, courtesy of Tristan's magic, a purplish ghostly blur in the shape of a person was lying flat up in the attic.

That made my skin crawl.

Reaching for my sword, I evaluated them the best I could without being able to see them. I didn't know their race or sex, but I could tell they were small, about the size of a child, but quite a bit wider.

I pointed to my lips, signalling for the girls to not say anything else. "You know what, Tris. Why don't you cast that spell? You know, the one we were talking about earlier by the well? I think we've cleared this place well enough." After taking a few steps in place to make it sound like I was leaving, I nodded to Vral, then the ladder.

Vral mouthed, "Okay," and started walking toward the ladder. When she reached it, she sheathed her daggers and began climbing the steps.

"Great heavenly mother, bringer of light..." Tristan's words became indecipherable as she switched to the Goddess's tongue.

As quietly as I could, I drew my sword and walked across the house until I was directly under the blurry form of the person hiding up in the attic. Aiming my sword's point at its chest, I waited for Vral to do her thing. Watching as Vral's hips disappeared into the hole in the ceiling, the second her feet thumped onto the attic floor, she became a purplish blur rushing across the house.

"Got you!" She shouted.

There was a panicked yelp, a series of thumps as one blur reached the other, and then a desperate, pained cry.

"Heeeelp!" A man's voice cried out.

"Stop wiggling aro—DON'T TRY TO BITE ME!"

"Have you finally come for my soul, fiend?!" A high-pitched man's voice roared. "These teeth of mine will rend your tainted flesh asunder!" The blurry form broke away from Vral.

"Fiend?! The fuck you just call me?!" Vral kicked him, sending the man sprawling backward. There was a crash of what sounded like glass as he stumbled into the attic wall.

She launched forward. There was a quick scuffle, but in seconds, she'd beaten him. From the way the blurs had settled, I could tell she'd pinned the person's arms down with her elbows. Judging from the angle of her arm, she had a dagger pressed against his throat.

"I didn't do it! I've lived here forever!" The voice, a man's, was thin, high-pitched, and scratchy, like someone who hadn't spoken to another person in months. "I know where the gold is!"

"Gold? What the hell are you talking about?"

"You can find it under the rainbow!"

"The fuck's wrong with you?" Vral stood and began dragging the man toward the ladder. As she did, the man was grabbing at everything he could. "Stop that!"

"No!"

"A little help up here! He's squirmy and fucking gross!"

"Vral?" Tristan called up. "What's going on?"

"It's a guy, but the fucker's half-invisible!" she shouted back. "And he smells like shit."

"I do not!" the voice protested. "Well, maybe a little, but that's hardly relevant!" I watched as both of his ghostly hands wrapped around what had to have been rafters up in the attic.

"Let go of the rafters, or I'll break 'em." She placed her foot next to his hand.

"You will do no such thing! This is my home! My sanctuary! I have lived here for a thousand, thousand years!" His voice was somehow both grandiose and pitiful, making him sound like the most terrified god who ever existed.

"One." She was giving him a countdown.

"Just leave me be! I hear their call on the wind! The time of blossoms is coming!"

"Two."

"Their wrath knows no bounds! All will be rent asunder in their fluffy, winged embrace!"

"Last chance." She put her foot on his hand.

"Break them, and I'll become more powerful than you can possibly imagine."

"Your call, dumb ass."

Shit.

"Vral, wait!" I sheathed my sword and climbed the ladder. When my head cleared the opening, I had to blink a few times to stop my eyes from watering. The attic was cramped and filthy, and in addition to a heavy mustiness laced with body odor, it absolutely reeked of botanicals and flowers.

After blinking away some tears, I saw that, everywhere I looked, there were piles upon piles of... stuff. Dried plants hanging from the rafters, jars filled with liquids of every conceivable color, bundles of what looked like weeds tied with string, animal bones arranged in odd patterns, and containers of powders and crystals scattered everywhere.

And, in the center of the chaos, Vral had pinned a gnome to the floor.

At least, I thought he was a gnome. As she'd said, he was half invisible.

"Another demon has come to claim my soul!" The gnome roared. "Have at me, fiend!"

"Stay still, damn it!" Vral twisted the guy's arm behind his back until it looked like his shoulder might pop.

With a yelp, the gnome fell still.

"Better," Vral patted his head. "Good gnome."

I called down the ladder. "Tristan, do you know any magic that could dispel invisibility?"

"No, sorry." She was standing under me now. "I haven't gotten there yet."

"I cannot be dispelled! I'm made of flesh!" The gnome let go of the rafters and smacked his head with both hands. "Flesh and blood and—" His eyes, which were wild and unfocused, fixed onto mine and grew more intense. "You aren't from here, are you, boy?" A wide grin spread across his face, revealing startlingly white teeth considering the rest of his state.

"How do you know that?"

"I see all." The gnome grinned at me. "It's like dirt, but more round!"

Vral heaved, dragging the man the rest of the way across the attic. Plopping him beside me, she growled, "Grab this guy. I'm done." When she let go of the gnome, she wiped her hands on her leather pants and scowled.

"Yes, take me traveler, far, far away..." The gnome's eyes gleamed. "TO THE—"

He yelped again as I grabbed him by the collar and yoinked him out of the attic. Dropping down from the ladder, I carried the squirming gnome into the cottage's tiny kitchen, where a small table rested against the wall. Pulling out one of the chairs, I plopped the gnome into the seat.

"Is this the way to your land, traveler?" His eyes darted around the room. "For I do not know this place. Not one bit." As he spoke, his invisibility or whatever it was started wearing off. He was rapidly becoming easier to see.

He was definitely a gnome, with the wide frame, big nose, and dwarf-ish aesthetics that reminded me of Garl, the crazy gnome mechanist I fought in the Pit. However, unlike Garl, this guy couldn't have been more than three feet tall, and he had wild, greenish-gray hair that stuck out in every direction and a shaggy beard that looked like it hadn't been trimmed in months. His clothes were little more than rags, and his fingernails were black with dirt.

"Who are you?" I asked. Then, I stepped backward until my bulk filled the doorway. I didn't need him running off on us.

A twitch of his eye told me that was exactly what he was planning to do. That path cut off, he narrowed his eyes and growled, "Who am I?" His eyes turned cloudy and unfocused. Then, they started darting around the room like he was seeing things that weren't there. "WHO AM I?!" He froze. "I... uh... I'm..." He scratched his head. "Who am I?"

"Crazy old bat," Vral muttered as she walked up beside me, still rubbing her hands on her pants. "So gross."

"Please," he wheezed, his voice cracking. "I'm just collecting. Just collecting and mixing. That's all. I'm not hurting anyone. I certainly never took any untoward jobs. Nothing illegal. Nope! Never."

Tristan took a step toward him. "I think his mind is addled."

"You think?" Vral deadpanned as she found a spot beside me, leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed.

I decided to refrain from joining in on the sass. Tristan meant well. "Do you think you can do anything for him?"

"I don't know." Tristan stepped toward the gnome. "Healing magic mostly works on the body, but it might work with the mind. I think."

"No, no, NO!" The gnome shot out of his seat. "Your fundamentals are all wrong. To heal the mind, you have to... to..." He slumped back into his chair, and his eyes unfocused. "What were we talking about, again?"

"Healing the mind?" Tristan crouched in front of the gnome and took one of his dirty hands in hers. "Do you know something about that?"

"That's right!" He slammed his fist onto the table, causing it to creak. "I know everything!" The gnome's eyes lit up. "Ingredients? I have them. Formulas? All written down. Well, most of them. Some of them. The important ones, anyway." He patted his chest, where a small journal was poking out from his shirt pocket. "The rest is up here." He knocked his head with his knuckles. "An iron trap."

At that last bit, Vral rolled her eyes.

"Then how do I do it?"

"Do what?"

"Heal your mind?"

The gnome's brows knitted together. "Why would you do something like that?"

Tristan's eyes filled with empathy and compassion as she took the old man in. "Oh, you poor thing."

"Poor? I'm not poor! I'm very wealthy, thank you very much. Wealthy in knowledge. Wealthy in... in..." He trailed off, his eyes losing focus again. "I lost everything, you know? Had to leave it all behind. One wrong job, and BAM. Life's in the shitter."

Huh. That was something.

Tristan looked over her shoulder, and we exchanged glances.

Turning back toward him, she patted his hand like you would an elderly person or a child. "I can tell you're doing your best."

His eyes lit up. "I am, aren't I? Always the best. Always learning."

She smiled at him. "Of course you are. And the Goddess sees your efforts, my child."

"The Goddess?" His eyes widened. "Do you know Her? Are you a priestess?"

"I am."

His eyes lit up. "Can you put a good word in for me? I didn't mean anything by it, you know?"

With a soft smile, Tristan nodded. "Of course, I can do that for you. But first, I need to know your name. My name's Tristan. What's yours?"