Chapter 216: New Body, Old Problems (Arc 6: A Swift Spring)
Welcome to Arc 6! This arc will be skipping through time somewhat rapidly - for reference, Arc 5 ended on Day 224.
DAY 232
As Parker stands in a mostly-empty 'testing chamber' in the still-under-construction Floor Eight, he finds himself a little amused by some of what he sees. Not far from him Emma and Xenia are arguing, and it may be the first time he's seen them wearing such different expressions while using the same face.
"It's weird! I think you shoulda asked me for permission first, don't you think?"
Xenia rolls her eyes at the reflection's complaint. "How is it weird? You're the highest-level item on my inventory list, of course I'm gonna wanna try mixing you up. Wouldn't you?"
Emma crosses her arms. "You can't just crossbreed someone without their consent. I'm not exactly you and your 'leave a bastard in every universe' libido, even when I look like you. I never said I wanted kids!"
The dungeon master gives a frown as she crosses her own arms. "I didn't have kids that many times, you know. Besides, it's not 'your kid'. You didn't even know I was doing anything with you til I brought you down here, and trying this thing clogged up the crossbreeding system for like, a week and a half. I think you woulda noticed if it was actually doing something to you."
The reflection harrumphs. "Just because your dungeon systems might've acted as the surrogate doesn't mean it ain't mine, like, genetically. I think I should get to have a say in how it's raised."
"Raised!? It ain't even got a mind in there yet! It's just a shell waiting for Parker!" Xenia gestures towards the waiting Patriarch, and seeing the slight smirk on his face, decides to shift her attention. "We can get back to this later, alright? I don't wanna leave Parker standing around here all afternoon."
Emma grumps again, although Xenia gets the feeling she isn't really that upset. "Fine, fine..."
"Trust me, you'll love it in action. Probably. Anyhow, hey, Parker! How's things? Laeniel getting all ready for the big move?"
The man waggles a heavy hand as the dungeon master walks his way. "Sort of, fortunately there's not much she actually needs to do herself, not right now, anyhow. We'd already arranged things with an agent back home, to sell off our old house and have our possessions moved down here. Mother Hammerdown was kind enough to let her use the Church's communication crystals for the purpose, since it was a short message, so she won't even have to wait for the mail to get delivered back there. It'll take a while for all of that to get moved down here, given the season, but that's just as well as the new house isn't actually built yet."
Xenia grins at the news. "The house? Already got one all picked out?"
Parker nods. "And paid for. We're actually very lucky, timing-wise. A lot of the construction going on right now's been timed for the expectation of a big rush once spring finally hits, so we're here a bit early. Laeniel was able to take her pick of the lot, and get a pretty reasonable rate. Prices even four months from now could be quite a bit higher."
"Got her pick, huh? One with lots of room for the kiddos, I assume."
Parker's about to answer, but then starts shifting around on his feet. "Yes, well...the initial design should have lots of room, yes. Rooms for her, the kids, and possibly a live-in nanny or guest room. Easily three times as large as our old home. It also comes with a decent amount of land, with an easy ability to add...expansions later on. If it's required."
His boss is slightly confused for a moment, before she catches on and laughs. "Wait, wait, is Laeniel already
planning for a second round? After round one turned out three times as successful as you were expecting? I mean, it can't hurt to be prepared...""Definitely very...long-term planning there, I'd say. Given how long it takes for elves to give birth and then recover, it'd be several years before we could even consider trying for more, I'd say." Parker chews his lip a little with his oversized teeth. "Although it did surprise me, yes. I think we both fantasized about having children for so long that, well...perhaps I didn't realize how much of a fantasy it had become for her, how much time she had spent thinking about it. But even if it takes a while, given that we could both be around for centuries now...well, I suppose it might only be a matter of time, really."
"Well, I wish you both all the luck and a whole warren of long-eared kiddos. And how about you? Ready to see what I've got cooked up for you?"
Parker nods towards the object sitting in the middle of the chamber - a sphere about a foot in diameter, polished to a mirror finish. "I see it, but I'm definitely going to need an explanation. I'm not sure I like the idea of becoming a...crystal ball or something, nor do I see how I would manage to kill Challengers as one. I was expecting to get something related to axes, you know."
Xenia waves off the concern as she turns and approaches the ball in question. "You'll be able to use axes, don'tcha worry. Well, some of the time, anyhow. This lil baby's got some crazy flexibility, if it works out like I'm expecting it to."
The Patriarch follows after. "Don't suppose you could give me the explanation before you put me in there? Doesn't even look like the thing's got ears to listen with."
"Y'know, as a dungeon monster, I bet you could probably hear me talking even if I put you into something that didn't even have a head. I mean, it's not like this body I'm walking around with actually exists right now. I'm pretty sure all of this is just an illusion put together by our connection with the dungeon system." Xenia gestures at herself, and Parker shrugs.
"Guess that would explain why you can't touch outsiders without using that other spell. But anyhow - the big ball thing?"
Xenia nods. "Right, well, lemme explain how the dungeon monster crossbreeding system works. Basically, I pick two different unlocks I've got, assign em into the system, and after a few hours...or days with divine shit...or a friggin week apparently for this thing...it pops out something new with a tier level somewhere around the average of the two unlocks I used, and some traits of both. I've also gotten a few upgrades that let me aim for specific traits to carry over, which seems to slow it down a little, but cuts down on me needing to re-run the entire process a bunch of times."
"Interesting. But what two monsters led to this? I was under the impression your top monster types were, what? Bunnies, undead, and slimes?"
His boss grins widely as she raises a finger into the air. "Ah, but you see, it's only with most monster types that I can only use monsters to crossbreed. Mimics have a special trait that lets them crossbreed with anything, including my inanimate item unlocks!"
At that, Emma steps back into the conversation. "Which means that apparently this little bundle of joy is the product of a mimic and me."
"Cause you're my highest-tier item by like two entire tier steps! SS! This thing came out at B-plus even though my mimics are still only C-minus! Besides, I'm not even gonna ask you to pay child support."
Parker eyes Emma and then the inanimate sphere sitting by their feet. "I can see how a mimic and a mirror might have some...synergy, I suppose, but how does that translate to combat ability? Does becoming this allow me to transform into the people I'm fighting?"
Xenia's grin turns more devious as she answers. "Oh, no, no, way better than that. See, Emma here ain't just the reflection of a person's physical appearance. She gains some of our memories and ways of thinking and acting, but mostly she's a reflection of our fears and desires and stuff like that. Which is probably why she's so horny all the time."
Emma gasps at the boldness of that statement. "Excuse you!? Being a reflection of you, I'd probably be horny even if I turned down the desire level ten times!"
"And Sincere? And Lollyp? And that time you played 'Guess Which One's The Real Bunny Squire' with Trush?" Xenia pauses and corrects herself. "...Okay, maybe Lollyp would be just as bad, yeah." She quickly waves her hands and attempts to refocus herself. "Anyhow, not the point. When I crossbred the enchanted mirror with my mimics, I pulled out a specific trait I was aiming for, and it wasn't the part which reflects people's appearances or their sexual desires."
"Thank the gods for that, at least." Parker raises an eyebrow. "So what trait did you select?"
Once again, Xenia's smile turns sinister. "Lady and gentleman, allow me to introduce you to...the Fear Mimic. Now, how about I pop you in and let you take this thing for a test drive?"
Twenty minutes later, Beatrice is standing in front of a large silver sphere sitting on a chest-high pedestal, while giving Xenia a suspicious look from behind her enchanted helmet. "This is what you wanted me to check out, Xen? Is this just a scheme to slow down my packing-up? I said I'm not leaving til the end of the week, remember."
"Nah, nah, just figured you'd make a good test subject. Was a little worried there might be some sort of like, infinite recursion issue or something if we tried this out with Emma, and if I did this myself I'd be risking severe personal embarrassment."
The suspicious look continues. "But you're fine with embarrassing me."
"Exactly! Now, Parker - show off what you can do!" Beatrice returns her attention back to the reflective sphere, and to her surprise the object begins to turn almost liquid. Protrusions start to form, some of them dripping off of the pedestal and down towards the floor, while others begin to stretch upwards, making the object taller. It eventually takes a humanoid form with arms, legs, and a head, and within seconds the reflective metal turns into the heavily-used metal of a suit of plate armor. Beatrice's armor, specifically, a copy of Beatrice's gear down to the slightest scuff mark and scratch. The only difference is the figure's lack of a helmet, but the face that appears does differ from Beatrice's significantly.
In some ways, perhaps most, the figure is almost Beatrice's twin. Her notable burn scars cover one half of Parker's face, her features and the look of her eyes are largely the same. But Parker's hair is white and thin, his face covered with wrinkles, his eyes sunken and dimmed. As Parker hops off from his sitting position atop the pedestal, Beatrice gasps. "By the gods! Is - is that me as an old woman? I look awful!"
Parker does his best to examine his own face, peering at the smooth metal of one of his gauntlets. "Am I? ...You know, I can see how this might be demoralizing to my enemies, but if I have to fight as an old woman, I foresee there being some issues."
Xenia rolls her eyes. "When a mimic takes on the form of a treasure chest, is it actually a treasure chest?"
"...I suppose not?"
"No, it's still a monster with giant teeth and tentacles and muscles." Deciding a demonstration is in order, Xenia summons up an axe much like Parker's old weapon, and tosses it to the man. "Swing that around and tell me if you feel like an old lady?"
Parker catches it easily, despite the weapon's heavy weight, and goes through a few motions with just as much ease. "Hmm, I suppose you're right. Also, to be honest, I would have expected it to bother me more to be in the body of a woman like this - no offense, Lady Beatrice - but somehow I still feel like...myself, you know? Hells, even being that sphere earlier wasn't so bad. I was worried it would feel confining to be without limbs."
The dungeon master nods. "That's mimic instincts for you. Mimics gotta be about the most patient monsters there are, sitting around for ages until it's time to strike. Plus, it wouldn't do you much good to lose your sense of self and start thinking you were the thing you were reflecting."
Beatrice's voice is a little less calm. "And why are you reflecting me as an old lady!? What's this about?"
Parker answers that question. "It's funny how instinctual it was. You fear growing old, is that it? I suppose I can relate - I'm a good decade your senior, and I felt much the same before I surrendered my body. Yet I can tell it bothers you even more."
Beatrice's eyes narrow. "Oh, so this is the embarrassing part of it, is it? The idea here is you take on the physical embodiment of my fear and throw me off my game, huh?"
The axe-wielding mimic nods. "Seems so. Is it working?"
When Beatrice draws her sword, it's with a smile on her face. "Give me a round or two, and I'll answer that question."